Should I be bothered by what she does?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, I know a girl who I am friends with. I have always had a crush on her but she made it clear she would just like to be friends. She does a couple things which make me feel lousy and I wonder if I should feel this way. 1) She...
A. 8 November 2010: I don't think it's pettiness that's the issue here. You're expecting her to treat you like she would a boyfriend, but you're not her boyfriend. In fact, from the way she treats you, you're not even a close friend.
For 1, she doesn't tell you beca... (read in full...)
Simple question on asking someone out.
Q. Hi, just a simple and quick question: If I make an excuse to enter this girls office at work (Any excuse will do) - is it too rash to, after I strike up a conversation, say "Blah, blah, blah.... by the way, I know this is quite out of the blue ...
A. 15 October 2010: In most situations, what you say is much less important than how you say it. If your interaction style is one where you're easy-going and fun and you use those words in that style, you'll come off as someone who's somewhat spontaneous. If she's the ... (read in full...)
My friend wants to move away to be with his girlfriend
Q. Well my problem is that my best friend wants to move 1200 miles away to Texas to be with his ldr girlfriend. I don't agree with it at all but haven't said anything because he seems so happy. Personally I feel there that no boyfriend or girlfriend is ...
A. 3 October 2010: You may think that this is a bad decision but it is his decision to make because it is his life to live. You might have his best interests in mind and might think that abandoning his whole life to be with his girlfriend is drastic, and you may be ... (read in full...)
It would seem I am just another girl with relationship problems
Q. MODERATOR'S NOTE: Two questions from same asker combined. I don't want to say that I'm just another girl with a relationship problem/question, but it seems to be just that. I have diagnosed myself with the fact that I have commitment problems...
A. 3 October 2010: To the first question, commitment is a decision. It's a decision that you make based on any number of reasons and those reasons should not all be emotional. I think it's a normal human desire to want to be in a relationship with a person we ... (read in full...)
Leave my girlfriend for someone I'm so compatible with?
Q. I've been with my current girlfriend on and off for almost 7 years. We are very happy and I love her very much. However, recently I have met a new girl, and this girl has so much in common with me it is borderline eerie. Like the same movies, ...
A. 3 October 2010: To me, "similar interests" by no means is the same as "compatibility." Simply because you like the same things, does not mean that you're compatible.
You've been in a relationship for a long time now, so you know that it takes a long time to get t... (read in full...)
My wife is very abusive towards me - please help.
Q. [OP original title] Someone please give me some advice... I have been living in an abusive relationship for nearly 15 months. I am not sure where to start because so much has happened during this time. But at the same time I am not sure how to s...
A. 15 August 2010: This is abuse and no one deserves abuse. You need to pack up and leave or things will simply continue on as they have or they may even escalate.
You may need counselling to deal with the trauma that you've suffered. She almost definitely needs co... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so alone when his daughter comes to visit?
Q. I'm 25 with a 3-year-old son and my boyfriend of almost a year is 30 with a 4-year-old daughter. Chemistry between the two of us was great right from the beginning; as well as chemistry between both of our children. They play like they are brother ...
A. 2 August 2010: This sounds extremely frustrating and you seem to be very understanding of the situation. Your idea of trying to talk to your boyfriend is a good one, in my opinion.
When you say that talking to him gets you no where, what exactly happens?... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 28 July 2010: A critical element in this discussion is the matter of trust. In my experience, many of the people who become devastated by this type of news feel a betrayal. They feel as though they have been misled and they have a difficult time trusting both ... (read in full...)
Help!! Is there anything I can do to get out of this downward spiral?
Q. I know this doesn't really deal with relationships, but I need some advice. In high school, I did my work and got good grades. Sure, I was reserved and kept to myself. Everything is different in college. While I am still pretty reserved, I have...
A. 9 July 2010: I have to say that I know your story a little too well as I went through something almost identical to this. I, however, didn't make it to my senior year but was beginning to feel like you do now by the time I hit 2nd year. I programmed in high ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to keep my nose out?
Q. I am really good friends with an ex boyfriend from long ago. He and his current girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and, as much as I like her as a person, I really dislike the way she treats him. He works 12 hour shifts while she ...
A. 6 July 2010: I think your initial reaction of wanting to staying out of it, is the right way to go. As you've said, he's an adult and his relationships are his business.
When it comes to not speaking your mind about his girlfriend, it can be a difficul... (read in full...)
Could my physiotherapist be flirting with me?
Q. I have been going to physiotherapy for the past week because I injured my hip and lower back. I think my physiotherapist (26 years old, single) is flirting with me but I am not sure. - He is always smiling at me - He asks a lot of personal, gettin...
A. 3 July 2010: He may be flirting with you, he may not be.
The more important question is: are you attracted to him?
If you are then you should flirt with him regardless of whether or not he's flirting with you. ... (read in full...)
How do I ask him to get tested without offending him?
Q. My guy and I want to start having sex. He is a little older than me, so we're waiting two months until I turn 18, just to be safe with the law. I am a virgin; he has had a number of partners in the past. What is the best way to ask him to get tested ...
A. 3 July 2010: Let him know that you're worried about catching STDs/STIs and ask him to get tested so that you can be sure that you'll be safe. A critical thing to mention, would be that you're not saying he's unsafe or anything like that, but that you just want ... (read in full...)
She has no sex drive and says there's nothing she can do about it...
Q. My wife and I are in our late 20's, been married for several years. There is no intimacy in the marriage. Which means there is no sex, very rarely any sexual activities (none that ever involve her sexual parts), etc. This is very difficult for me, ...
A. 3 July 2010: I think a crucial bit of background information is whether this was the case BEFORE you were married.
If this is a recent happening, then the key would be to figure out "what changed?"
If this is the way it was always, then you may need to ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 25 June 2010: "sex is the most sacred, meaningful thing that two people can share. I value it so highly, I have always thought of it as the end all be all gesture of love between two people, as the emotional, physical, mental climax of all of life . . ."
This,... (read in full...)
Should I let this guy come between me and my friends?
Q. I have a close relationship with two guys I have known since middle school. We have been best buds thru high school and now in college. I'd say our relationship is best described as comfortable and easy. I am not dating either guy, but we have ...
A. 25 June 2010: In my experience, friends with benefits or no strings attached sexual relationships are temporary out of necessity. Most people want to, at some point, get married and raise a family. That usually means that they're going to be exclusive with their ... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past that I didn't know about has made me a different person today.
Q. My wife lied to me about her sexual past and has now told me... 12 years later!!! Hi guys, I just wanted to say how much this site helped me become a different person i am today. what ive learned is that if my wife would of told me about her sexual...
A. 21 June 2010: "women are always afraid of telling us their sexual past because we always judge them for it. instead of looking at what kind of person they really are"
Incredibly insightful, and profound, thing to realize.
Women are not put in an easy place... (read in full...)
Should I forgive boyfriend for lying about drinking?
Q. Ok so i really need help. Me and my boyfriend had been dating for about 10 months and he is about to leave for the marines. Well the weekend before he left, we were in a little argument over something he did but nothing huge. recently we didnt even ...
A. 21 June 2010: When it comes to situations like these, I think the important question to ask is: is the change that you've asked him to make a BIG change or a SMALL change?
If it's a small change, like how he does his laundry, then it should be pretty simple t... (read in full...)
She won't do any more physical stuff with me!
Q. Hey everyone, My girlfriend and i have a pretty physical relationship but of course it has died down some. I made it very romantic for her one time and since we both are completely free from our parents sometimes we have to go to the back of the c...
A. 21 June 2010: My suggestion is that you talk to her about it and find out what the problem is. If you think there is any kind of future for the two of you, then whether or not you can build that future together depends on how well the two of you can work through ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to have sex with my boyfriend?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for one month now, he really turns me on. Is it right to point out to him that he didn't finger me right yesterday? I think i am the first girl he has ever attempted this with but I don't know how to as...
A. 14 June 2010: Sex can be both an emotionally and physically intense experience and generally, if you are asking if you are ready, you likely aren't ready.
Knowing when and when not to have sex is a matter of being able to make decisions for yourself and for ... (read in full...)
Wife and I are back together but her heart is still with someone else...
Q. I recently had a seperation with my wife and now we're living together but she has feelings still for another guy! What can I do?...
A. 11 June 2010: If you mean "What can I do to change her feelings about the other guy?" I'm not sure that there is anything that you can do. Her feelings about someone else aren't really something that you can control.
I think the only thing that you can do is be... (read in full...)
What is this person after???
Q. Hello this is just a bit of an update of a development of a question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-anyone-please-interpret-this-girls-behavior.html basically I left for canada and then returned to Seattle, well basically me B and S went ...
A. 11 June 2010: It does sound like she's more than just friendship but it's really hard to say what exactly she may be looking for, as it's not clear whether she even really knows.
I think the question that may be more important for you to answer is: what do ... (read in full...)
How do we break the silence?
Q. My fiance and I can sit in the same room with each other for hours and yet it feels as if we are in seperate rooms. This is a daily thing. We have tried buying games to play, getting new movies, even writting to each other, but we always seem to go ...
A. 10 June 2010: Communication habits can be a difficult thing to change as they involve changing something that already exists in a relationship, so some effort is required. But here are some ideas.
You mention that you sit separately, do you ever sit together... (read in full...)
Will I ever overcome my eating disorder?
Q. I've suffered from anorexia and bulimia for about 4 years, i've had councelling and numerous aids to try and help me overcome my disorders and sometimes i can improve for a few months, but there is never a day where i don't think about what i'm ...
A. 4 June 2010: This sounds like it's overwhelming you and I wish I could simply say yes, but I don't know that I can do that without giving you false hope.
It's definitely possible, but change is usually a long road. You've mentioned having counsellors help you... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have an orgasm just from being tickled?
Q. Am I strange? My new boyfriend has a fetish for feet. A few weeks ago I indulged him for the first time and allowed him to tie me to my bed. He proceeded to tickle the bottoms of my feet for a long time. I’m a very ticklish person and I laugh...
A. 4 June 2010: Well, I've heard of people being sexually aroused from having their feet touched and I think this falls into that category.
One of the things that I learned about the brain in psychology is that the part of the brain associated with receivin... (read in full...)
How long before I should suspect he's not that serious?
Q. How soon into a new relationship (approximately) would you expect things like love and commitment to come up? I know every relationship and person is different, I'm just wondering if there's a point when I should think hmm, maybe this guy isn't ...
A. 4 June 2010: This may not be the answer that you're looking for, but I typically judge whether or not things like love and commitment should come into play based on the amount of time two people are spending together.
If he's only seeing you less than once a w... (read in full...)
How can you get over the feeling of being lied to from your boyfriend about his porn watching habits?
Q. How can you get over the feeling of being lied to from your boyfriend about his porn watching habits? I've been obsessing over this for the past few days. I almost left him for me being suspicious of him lying after finding sketchy files on his c...
A. 4 June 2010: Personally, I'm not sure that you need to necessarily get over it. Your trust in him has been broken, and like you said, it's the lying more than the porn that's bothering you.
If that's the case, and you truly want to work things out with him... (read in full...)
Is he gay, a sex addict or just someone that really enjoys porn?
Q. Ok..I have been researching this. I honestly need as honest and truthful and insightful answers as possible on this one. I have been with this man for a little over a year now. I am 31 years old. He is 50 years old. He just got out of (what he ...
A. 2 June 2010: Well, I'm not 100% sure but I think to be diagnosed as a sex addict it has to conflict with your ability to socially function and while it's obvious that this is interfering with your relationship, I'm not sure it qualifies as sex addiction.
... (read in full...)
Just to be sure I'm not pregnant...
Q. I’m 19 and I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time…my period came about the 6 of April and I think I was ovulating about the 22. My question is that I did bleed a bit and I still am but light. We used a condom (it did not break) and he pull ...
A. 24 April 2010: It's very unlikely. Condoms are above 90% effective and the morning-after pill is somewhere between 50% to 90% effective (depending on what study you read). Meaning, given the less than 10% chance that you were pregnant (much less than that actually ... (read in full...)
I know he's still sleeping around, but I'm totally infatuated
Q. hello. i was seeing a guy for 2 months, everything was perfect! It was then revealed to me that he had a gf and was sleeping around with other girls..he went on holiday, and when he came back we got close again...last night it was revealed that he ...
A. 24 April 2010: One of the dangerous things about sex is the emotional attachment that it can create for people. It sounds like that's what you are experiencing right now and it's extremely difficult thing to cope with. You feel strongly for this guy because of ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my husbands past, when it keeps coming to the future?
Q. Hello thank you for taking the time to read this. My husband and I have a healthy relationship, the only problem is his past. I have some issues with dealing with these women he has slept with. I understand it's not a huge deal. Yet whenever we ...
A. 24 April 2010: It sounds as though you are in an extremely difficult situation. Being constantly hounded by this woman must be very frustrating, but it seems like you are dealing with things well and it sounds like your husband has been very supportive of you. ... (read in full...)
My dad's best friend is becoming too forward with me
Q. I am unsure of what to do in an increasingly complex situation. Theres this man who works for my dad, has done for the last 5 years. He has lived with us for 2, as his 'home' its too far to travel every day to work, he goes home to his wife at the ...
A. 24 April 2010: It sounds as though you're in a bit of a difficult situation. You seemed worried about this man's friendship with your dad, but this man also seems to be getting out of hand. It's normal that you are feeling a little lost.
One thing that I'm a li... (read in full...)
My emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, how do I say no without crushing her?
Q. Okay, so, I ended a long distance relationship that I had with a girl the next state over from me, we were together for 3-months, I ended it in February. I ended it for a number of reasons, the main one being that I couldn't cope with the distanc...
A. 24 April 2010: Tisha, I have a bit of training in suicide prevention and everything that I've learned so far has told me that suicide is not about being mentally ill, it's about being in so much pain that they no longer wish to live. I feel deeply for how you've ... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl to hang out with me?
Q. There’s this girl I work with who I have a crush on (we’re both grad.-student/teachers). I never see her at school, but we talk on Facebook chat frequently--I usually initiate the conversation. At any rate, she seems receptive, and always has a ...
A. 23 April 2010: As others have suggested, there are a lot of reasons that she may not want to hang out with you. She may not be attracted to, in which case, it's probably best to just move on and find someone else. She may have a boyfriend which also means you ... (read in full...)
How can I help my obese wife who won't help herself?
Q. I'm having serious issues right now... I have been married almost 3 years. My wife and I have been together since middle school except for 3 years after high school when we broke up and dated other people. When we first got back together, all of ...
A. 23 April 2010: You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves. It is an unfortunate truth, but it's one that I've seen repeated over and over as I've involved myself in helping others. If she doesn't lose weight, there's very little you can do to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop his wandering eye?
Q. hello.. I am married and i know my husband loves me and we have good times together but i get insecure when i find my husband looking at women who dont look all that great but their neckline is low or wearing short skirts and I am ok that my husband ...
A. 23 April 2010: I think the first thing you should consider is why this bothers you. It sounds to me like you feel insecure when he does this, if this is the case you should examine why.
Is it because you think that him looking at these other women makes hi... (read in full...)
My emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, how do I say no without crushing her?
Q. Okay, so, I ended a long distance relationship that I had with a girl the next state over from me, we were together for 3-months, I ended it in February. I ended it for a number of reasons, the main one being that I couldn't cope with the distanc...
A. 22 April 2010: Your reaction to this situation is normal. I have talked to others who have had situations like this happen to them, where an extremely dependent person begins to threaten suicide, and it is never an easy thing to deal with. Before you do anything, ... (read in full...)
My emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, how do I say no without crushing her?
Q. Okay, so, I ended a long distance relationship that I had with a girl the next state over from me, we were together for 3-months, I ended it in February. I ended it for a number of reasons, the main one being that I couldn't cope with the distanc...
A. 22 April 2010: Your reaction to this situation is normal. I have talked to others who have had situations like this happen to them, where an extremely dependent person begins to threaten suicide, and it is never an easy thing to deal with. Before you do anything, ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why I feel so needy all the time
Q. Ever since I ended a relationship two months ago, i've always been feeling vulnerable, especially when at times things don't go right. Why do I feel as though I really need someone? It's a needy feeling. I didnt feel so before knowing that guy. Why ...
A. 30 March 2010: The end of a relationship is a type of loss and you need to give yourself time to grieve the end of it. In my experience, on the first things that you tend to go through is feeling like you wish things could go back to the way they were. I think ... (read in full...)
Have any other guys overcome feeling inhibited when it comes to sex?
Q. Alright...First off I feel really stupid and emasculated to even ask this, but I think there has to be other guys in my shoes or who have been in my shoes. First off, I'm 31, male and recently divorced after being married for quite a few years. I...
A. 26 March 2010: To me, it sounds like you're experiencing a whole new side of female sexuality and experiences like this can be difficult to deal with. You're pushing the limits on what you thought was "normal" or "average" so it's pretty natural for you to be a ... (read in full...)
Should I risk removing her from my life hoping it would inspire her to date me instead?
Q. Ok, so let me just give you guys a little bit of my backstory before I get into my question. I have a friend. She is a girl. I'm in love with her (heard it a million times before, I know). So I asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months ago and ...
A. 25 March 2010: Regardless of what your final decision is, you have to make it for you. Making a decision because you want someone else to like you is doing so without thinking of yourself. Personally, I think you need to ask yourself what you want. Would you ... (read in full...)
We were attracted to each other, but now he does not message me back. Why?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for over 3 years. We met through Facebook and have spoken through chat programs as well as over the phone since then. If one person was single, the other would be in a relationship, meeting up didn't seem "right" ...
A. 25 March 2010: Physical distance has a tendency to create emotional distance. Unless two people are already in a fairly stable relationship, distance rarely makes the heart grow fonder. More often than not, if a solid relationship isn't already in place, moving ... (read in full...)
| *M's friends
These are mutual friends, so *M has
added them and they have added *M!
|
