A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 5 years. We have baby, but whenever I argue with my husband he always start calling his ex. Then it takes time before I notice. When I confront him he say they are just friends and it was out of frustration. Could it be he still loves her and am I taken for a fool because he end up telling me that I am jealous and what to rule him. Please help
View related questions:
his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): i agree with everyones answers here . huge red flag sweetie . i hate to say it . but its not a good thing . i wont not put up with heven with a child . it sounds like its going to come down to either you are going to deal wit hit or walk away , because it sounds like he is not going to change for you . and does not have respect for you as a mother and wife .
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 It's rarely a good sign when someone keeps that kind of contact with her ex. There are those rare occasions when exes can maintain a strictly platonic relationship with a good sense of separation, but more often than not, they slip into old habits.Him call his ex after every fight is something I would worry about. If he has something to say about your relationship with him, he should be doing it with you and you should be willing to discuss it as calmly and reasonably as possible.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Yes that is a huge red flag. By claiming you are simply being controlling he's flipping the blame from himself back to you to try to diffuse your anger. It's reasonable to be upset if every time you fight he goes running to his ex. It's almost like a threat, "careful not to push me too far or I'll go back to her." It's very unhealthy/manipulative to go behind your back to his ex anytime you have a fight.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): my girlfriend does exactly the same i know how you feel it hurts :-(
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Do not tolerate this. It is disloyal and he shouldn't call his ex the moment there is a difficult patch. Why can't he confide in a male friend? Ringing an ex is also a threat to you, and you shouldn't have to be placed in a position of fear.Anyone would be jealous in such a situation. You should be the one who is first in his life and it is none of his ex's business what goes on between you.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Does he call her only after you both have a fight and no other time? If so then yes if I were you I would be worried aswell.
If it is a case that he is only friends with her and calls her now and again that would be fine, but if he only calls her when you and him have had an argument well this shows that she must be on his mind when he is angry with you and yes I would be worried that he still has feelings for her.
You mention he thinks that you are controlling? In what way? Its never good to try and control a partner just remember that he is his own man as much as he is part of the marriage and he is intitled to live his own life as well. Although he may just be saying this to you to try and play with your mind.
Other than him calling his ex is there any signs that he would be cheating on you? Try and keep an eye on him without him noticing and maybe just talk to him and tell him you are feeling insecure that you are unsure if he still has feelings for his ex, explain to him that you are not wanting to control what he does its just that you are scared you are going to lose him. Goodluck and all the best.
...............................
|
