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My real name is obviously NOT Phoebe Halliwell and no, I'm not Alyssa Milano either, though it'd be awesome if I were. I chose this name (Phoebe Halliwell) because she's a strong character and has been through some tough times in love herself, coming out stronger and still believing.
I'm young, single and live in the UK. I don't have any form of qualification, just a big heart and the occassional spare moment!
I have a pretty open mind and can relate to a lot of people. I'm the right side of 25 and have had some serious ups and downs! I'm just here to give you guys a fresh pair of eyes on a situation that seems to have no solution, sometimes that's all you need :)
Peace,
Phoebe
*NOTE* I'm going back to school for a while to try and change my career path. This means I won't be answering as quickly as I usually do but will still accept private e-mails from those seeking my advice. |
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Sweet 15 and never been kissed!
Q. hi i am 15 and i have never kissed a boy before. I have a boyfriend but we have not kissed yet.We have not been going out very long. if any one has any tip on how to be a good kisser i would like to konw because i dont wont to mess up the first time ...
A. 17 June 2006: Hi,
ok, here to help!
You may feel you’ve seen enough tv tongue action to get a GCSE in snogging. But kissing someone for the first time can be pretty darn nerve-wracking.
The main thing to remember is that kissing is natural - you’ll be amazed ho... (read in full...)
We have been together 6 months and the passion seems to have died, should it already have gone ?
Q. I am a 40 year young liberal woman dating a 40 year young moderate republican. we have been dating for 6 months. he is very stable and seems to love me. He is sweet, thoughtful, and includes me in his life. I feel love for him, but i'm so bored. I...
A. 17 June 2006: Hi,
as I, and many other agony aunts not only on this site, have said countless time, a reltionship is not all about the passions, the sex and the physical stuff. It's about how you make eachother Feel. How your heart skips a beat when they look... (read in full...)
What is a subtle way I can find out if she likes me?
Q. I want to know how can I approach this situation. I have a vendor and I am the client. I think she is beautiful and she flirts with me in a subtle manor. I want to know how I could find out if she really is interested without making myself look ...
A. 17 June 2006: Hi,
A difficult situation! I would just say to her : "There is this girl I really really like and I need your help. She's lovely, pretty, intelligent, (etc etc etc) and I want to know if she likes me back without scaring her away. Do you think she ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?
Q. Is it possible for ex's to ever become friends after a devastating heart breaking break-up. I was dumped a month ago and if I could, I'd erase the memories of what we had, because I feel that it was all lies, and betrayal and that I was the pathet...
A. 17 June 2006: Hi,
First you have to get compltely over him.
When you can't get your ex out of your head it’s all too easy to remain possessed by past passions. The only way to lay old ghosts to rest is to exorcise your ex!
Before you can move on, you need to ... (read in full...)
I am not having sex with my BF and it is frustrating me
Q. i have been with a guy, sam ,for 4 years, the first year we used to have sex say once a week/fortnight. it gradually got less and less and started having petty arguements all the time. after the second year we didnt have sex for almost a year. we ...
A. 13 June 2006: Hi,
first things you got to remember is that a relationship isn't just about sex. You obviously love Sam if you left another boyfriend for him, and didn't cheat on him with your friend. Your partner should be your boyfriend, your partner and your... (read in full...)
Am I too sensible too early in life?
Q. I want to know if people think I'm crazy or if my mates are. We're all 19 but very different. They all have a laugh all the time and sleep around, they don't take anything seriously and move from dead end job to dead end job just to get enough money ...
A. 13 June 2006: Hi,
no. I think you have got your life on track and are in for a very successful furture. Don't keep a really stcict routine, make it flexible and make sure you can have fun too. Try to keep your life balanced, they are your friends. This means they... (read in full...)
After my pregnancy the relationship is fading away...
Q. I was in a relationship for 10months then i fell pregnant we split up then got back together when my daughter was born at first our sex life was great but over the last 6months it has gone down hill it does not feel the same as we argue most of the ...
A. 12 June 2006: Dear Reader,
Maybe he wasn't ready for a family?
If he isn't interested in being a family or helping you raise your daughter then why bother? this is not my ususal approach to things but it's your daughter I'm rooting for here. As she gets older, s... (read in full...)
Met on the net and never met in person, but he wants to marry me, within the next 2 months! What should I do?
Q. I met my boyfriend on the internet. He lives in India, and I live in the U.S. We have never met, but have communicated for 15 months, and we fell in love. He has been pressuring me relentlessly to marry him, almost from the beginning. It is NOT that ...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
of course you're not wrong, Don't Get Married! You will find someone better in your own country! Dont' marry him, if he is pressuring you into things like that then what kind of looser is he?
Phoebe
xxx... (read in full...)
How should I ask her out online?
Q. I have been talking to this girl online and i am starting to get feelings for her. We both trust each other because we talk about personal stuff and we have things in common. The thing is i want to see her and hang out with her... im 16 and she is ...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
just make sure she is who she says she is. You can meet some weidos, pervs and just strange charcters online. Why don't you ask her to meet (use your imagination!) And get an adult to maybe watch from around the corner just to check you are ok. ... (read in full...)
He keeps asking me out, but I'm pretty sure it's just a tease...
Q. A boy in my science class keeps on asking me out. I know it's a joke but his ex said he really likes me and so do his friends, but his friends don't like me. Does he really like me or is it a joke ?...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
I agree with my fellow agony aunts. Confront him, ask him if he is serious. If he is, it's your choice. If he's not, next time he asks you, why don't you ttry winding him up? Why don't you say yes and then dump him straight away? That'll show... (read in full...)
Troubled by acne, and I never was before!
Q. Hi, my face has been breaking out lately and I don't know why. I've never had a problem with acne before but it's getting worse now for some reason. I'm a pretty mature 15 year old, though it could still be my age I guess. Also I've used proactiv...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
the best way to clear your face up is to stop using all this junk you get that claims to get rid of it. such as face washes, cleanser, spot removers, face masks etc etc etc. The only true actual proven way is the twice daily normal soap and warm... (read in full...)
Should I ask for her number, and if I do, what do I say?
Q. My crush has left school now and I never had the chance to ask her out or get her mobile number. We went out two years ago for 4 months but I broke up with her after 4 months (I'm so stupid!!!). I love this girl and miss her so badly. I dream ab...
A. 11 June 2006: Dear Reader,
most definately in love!
Of course you get this girls number! She said herself she likes you for not trying to act cool so if u be yourself there is a major chance you won't run out of things to talk about.
Why would s... (read in full...)
Fourteen and pregnant! What do I do?
Q. Hi, I am 14 and I am in trouble. I know you think "you are only 14. What are you doing thinking about sex already?" I know I shouldn't be, but I have and I have ended up pregnant. I have took 2 posative tests and I don't know what to do. Should I...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
whatever you do, do not get rid of your baby, it just leaves you feeling alone and guilty. Talk to a family member or someone you trust. You need to tell someone. It's bad for you and you baby if you keep it bottled up inside.
Good Luck and... (read in full...)
What are the biggest signs that a guy likes woman ?
Q. What are the 10 biggest signs a man likes a woman? The ones that say i'd like to get to know you more, not just to get you into bed ?...
A. 11 June 2006: hi,
I'll give you my opinion but i don't think there actually are any specific 10 rules.
1) do you cath him looking at you?
2) does he brush against you (not in a pervy way)
3) does he get hot and flustered if he talks to you?
4) does he move n... (read in full...)
My step-sister is blackmailing me for money and sex
Q. I am a 12 year old boy from the uk and my problem is that my 14 year old stepsister caught me smoking cannabis 3 months ago and ever since then she has been blackmailing me by threating to tell my mum at first she was only demanding money but since ...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone.
Why don't you come clean with your parents about what you did? They may be angry but say to them you didn't want to upset them but now ... etc etc and tell them about your step-sis... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called off the relationship, how do I get over it?
Q. my fiancess of 3yrs has just broken up with saying he doesnt want to be in a relatonshipbecause he feels he is too young (he is 21). it hurts like hell and i want him back. i recently went to a pary with some friends for a laugh and knowing that...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
When you can't get your ex out of your head it’s all too easy to remain possessed by past passions. The only way to lay old ghosts to rest is to exorcise your ex!
Before you can move on, you need to let all those pent-up feelings out. It’s to... (read in full...)
How do you get true love out of your mind??
Q. they say that true love means letting go of sum1 you love but i can't seem to get him out of my mind, i still love him . . . . please help me ???...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi,
I agree with my fellow agony aunt/s. You can never let true love go, but you can try to get it back. Try to re-gain it. Why did you let him go in the first place? Reflect on this. There are three options:
1) dwell on this, never move on and f... (read in full...)
How do I get to be a good kisser??
Q. Hi, I was wnadering how you can be good or average at kissing. I'm 18 and when I was with my last girlfriend we had a good time together and then at the end when I would kiss her (like a quick one on the lips) it was clumsy and she probably could ...
A. 11 June 2006: Hi
there is no way you can learn, it's just practice. Though when I was in the same situation as you, I read about it on the BBC Teens website and it gave me a few guidelines.
You go onto www.bbc.co.uk/teens then go onto the girls section (I know ... (read in full...)
He says such wonderful things to me, but he's so far away!
Q. I have met this guy 3 months ago on a chatsite and we have been chatting and phoning each other a lot since then. We both live in the same country but in different towns. We have made plans to meet, but things just went wrong all the time and we ...
A. 11 June 2006: Dear Reader,
if he says he wants to meet you, then unless he was making excuses eahc time he actually wants to meet you and know you in person. At least he is bothering to contact you and say these beautiful things to you (though i hope they aren... (read in full...)
I love my best friend but now he is drifting away
Q. hi,well simple, i fell in love with my best friend and he loved me, but at the time when he told me, i was with someone else and i said no, now he is drifting away and doesnt talk to me as much as he used to. i want to be with him and love him, what ...
A. 11 June 2006: Dear Reader,
the answer is as simple as you explained your question.
First of all - are you still with the someone you were with when you said no to him?
Are you prepared to leave that someone for your best friend?
When you have asked yourself t... (read in full...)
What should I say to my crush of 2 years?
Q. My crush has left school now and I never had the chance to ask her out or get her mobile number. We went out two years ago for 4 months but I broke up with her after 4 months (I'm so stupid!!!). I love this girl and miss her so badly. I dr...
A. 10 June 2006: Dear Reader,
most definately in love!
Of course you get this girls number! She said herself she likes you for not trying to act cool so if u be yourself there is a major chance you won't run out of things to talk about.
Why would she t... (read in full...)
My crush is moving away for a while - is she worth pursuing?
Q. Hi. I've got a bit of a problem. I have admired a girl for sometime and would love to ask her out. I haven't plucked up the courage so far, I was going to today but the only trouble is I found out today she is moving away for the summer. Chances ...
A. 10 June 2006: Hi,
of course you go for this girl! It's better to know that she's gone away with your name on her then to have gone away single and leave you kicking yourself.
Ask her out
ask her out
ask her out!
If she says no then at least you know you've... (read in full...)
How can I get this boy to notice me?
Q. Hi. I really like this guy and I think he likes me too. He just doesn't seem that interested in having a girlfriend at the moment. What can I do to get him to notice me - really notice me??????????...
A. 10 June 2006: Hi,
you don't have to do anything to GET him to notice you, I disagree with my fellow agony aunts, if he notices you when you're not acting or dressing like you, then he gets a completely different idea of who you are. He should like you for who ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if she likes me ? I keep getting mixed signals!
Q. K, Mixed signals? What are the telltale signs of how much a girl likes u? - How many x's in texts - Wud she say i luv u unless she ment it - Her friends tell u she still loves u - what does this mean? Is she jst winding them up? etc etc i re...
A. 10 June 2006: Dear Reader,
as you said yourself you like her, she like you if she bothers to txt you and things like that so tell her how you feel. Not over the internet, not by text or phone or even over the tv. Tell her face to face that you really like her ... (read in full...)
Are things moving too fast with the guy I love?
Q. I have known this guy for a few weeks now. His parents said he has never had a girlfriend before me and he is 22. I do love him because no one has ever treated me this good. He wants me to move away with him and I'm wondering is it too soon?...
A. 10 June 2006: Hi,
my opinion is that it is too soon. It's best to wait, maybe until you've known him for a while longer, say - when you've been seeing him for a year. Then you know everything about him, know how to make him happy and know how to trust him and ... (read in full...)
I moved to be with my partner but I am homesick
Q. i moved to a diferent country to be with my partner. We knew eachother for 6months before we decided to move in together. In the beginning everything was great and we were really happy. We have been together just over a year now, but I am very ...
A. 10 June 2006: Dear Reader,
maybe you should have waited to move away with your partner? Knowing him for 1/2 a year was ok, but waiting probably would have been best. Still, if your partner knows you're not happy then ask yourself this - why isn't he trying to m... (read in full...)
If I were to get into his bed as a muck around, do you think that he will think I want sex ?
Q. hi i'm 15 an me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 months. i am wondering if when i go round his house (like i normally do once a week). he normally goes and gets us both a drink an brings it upstairs to his room. while he is getting me ...
A. 9 June 2006: Dear Reader,
you sound like you have a good, strong relationship. Being in his bed when he comes in could either place doubt in his mind or give him a completely different idea of who he thought was his sweet and lovely girlfriend!
Dont' do anyth... (read in full...)
She acts all sexily around me, even though we broke up because I cheated, I want to be more than friends but what is she telling me ?
Q. I broke up with my long term girlfriend after 7 years when I cheated on her and confessed. I then moved away for 6 months and came back. She still calls me to hang out and do things together. She says things jokingly like "Don't try to seduce ...
A. 9 June 2006: Dear Reader,
if you love her that much then why not give it another go, she clearly likes you if she shows up naked and tells you about it! Don't blurt it out, just act yourself and tell her you want to give it another go. She said no-one can repl... (read in full...)
If I ask for her new number will she think im stalking her ? What should I say to her ?
Q. My crush has left school now and I never had the chance to ask her out or get her mobile number. We went out two years ago for 4 months but I broke up with her after 4 months (I'm so stupid!!!). I love this girl and miss her so badly. I dream a...
A. 9 June 2006: Dear Reader,
most definately in love!
Of course you get this girls number! She said herself she likes you for not trying to act cool so if u be yourself there is a major chance you won't run out of things to talk about.
Why would she think you ar... (read in full...)
How do I avoid looking like a fool??
Q. I'll be going to a party soon with famous people and local celebtities. I'm not a celeb myself. How do you behave, or what can I do or say or talk about that will make these people think that I'm not such a bad 23 yrs of age,young, smart successful ...
A. 3 June 2006: Dear Reader,
this is a problem most people face when knowing they are going to meet lots of celebrities but I bet they're so fed up of people treating them like Aliens or fainting in front of them, the best thing you can do is act normal, be your... (read in full...)
I want to wear clothes that make my body look as curvy as it really is...
Q. i am 15 and have quite a curvy figure and i love it! (not boasting lol). but i want to envisise it by wearing clothes that will make my body look more curvy. i really want my body to look more curvy but i am not sure on what sort of t-shirts and ...
A. 2 June 2006: Dear Reader,
I'm happy that you're comfortable with the way you look, most teens aren't. If you really don't want to stick with your own style, try wearing slightly fitted clother, like fitted jackets or maybe a belt to attract attention to a cert... (read in full...)
Am I in Love with this girl? I think about her all the time, I even dream about her!
Q. can this be posted, i only got one reply last time which wasnt very good. do you think i may be in love??? a few years ago i went out with this girl at my school for 6 months but we broke up due to harrasment from other people. her friend asked me...
A. 31 May 2006: Dear Reader,
she fell for you once, she obviously liked you or she wouln't have gone out with you in the first place. I'd call round on a nice Summers' day, dressed nice (not smart or nerdy, just a slightly tidier you)and if she says yes, well... (read in full...)
She already has a boyfriend, is it right to try and steal her away ?
Q. Hello There is this girl I think about heaps and heaps and I would really want to be with but she has a boyfriend. I think she used to like me but he got to her first...... Is it right to try and get her to like me again and in a sense "steal" he...
A. 31 May 2006: Hi,
On this occasion I am not going to agree with my fellow agony aunts. You are absoloutly right, love is a battlefield. So I'd get out there while you can. You obviously care for a girl and if this girl knows you aren't or don't want to be with... (read in full...)
I don't understand what is wrong with me.....I need advice please!
Q. This may sound really stupid but please tell me what is wrong with me... im 16 and i keep thinking of this girl that i haven't seen for 3 month now (i have tried texting her but i get know reply) and everyday since then i have thought about her. but ...
A. 31 May 2006: Dear reader,
Wild stab in the dark here - I think you are feeling depressed when you think of her because you were once so close and there was a very deep bond between the two of you. Still is, infact. She may have not rejected you, it's prob... (read in full...)
I am in an abusive relationship and he makes me do things I don't like
Q. i am humiliated i am back again with the same old problem.the situation is unbearable my relationship is seriously faulty.everytime he looks at me or speaks to me he either shouts critisizes and has an obsession with my bum.he is continuously ...
A. 31 May 2006: Dear Reader,
As Smiler says, no-one has the right to physically or mentally abuse anyone.
You may feel like your daughter has not a clue what's going on, and I'm sorry to say this but kids can pick up on a lot of things adults can't. How did you ... (read in full...)
I'm not comfortable with the attention I'm getting from my husband's father!
Q. I am happily married for 6 years now with 2 boys. Recently, I just realized that my father in-law has bad intention towards me. i.e. touching and hugging me. We are Muslims and such gesture is not our culture, but as a family, we only hug each ...
A. 31 May 2006: Dear Reader,
a most difficult problem. My first instinct, and probably yours too, is to tell your hubby. If somethings' bothering you or making you un-happy he should know. He may well have an argument with his father but you must understa... (read in full...)
Im interested in my friend, how do i tell him?
Q. Finally going to tell the man of my dreams that I have feelings for him. I have known him for nearly five years and in that time we have been friends. Both of us are single and have been spending more and more time together and I have decided...
A. 30 May 2006: Dear Reader.
It's fantastic you have found the man of your dreams, most of us don't ever do. A few handy tips when telling him you fancy him like hell -
1) don't tell him you love him - to bigger bombshell will scare him away.
2) don't just r... (read in full...)
He has a problem with alcohol, should i try fix his problem?
Q. I've been with the same guy for about a year now and it seems that we have overcome every obstacle that was in our way. We overcame the age difference of 14 years, we got our parents to accept the relationship, and we made peace with eachother's ...
A. 30 May 2006: Dear Reader,
it's great that you are worried about him, this shows you care. I understand that you want to be there for him, you want to stand by him and help him with whatever he's going through because you care for him so deeply. (It's obvi... (read in full...)
I acted like a chicken...Now what?
Q. I'm 24 yr old international graduate student and I like a hard working american undergraduate who works in the opposite lab. Of late, we were involved in eye-flirting episode which continued for a month (despite the fact that we'd never talked to ...
A. 30 May 2006: Dear Reader, Maybe she doesn't actually have a boyfriend and is just as scared as you are! Maybe she got scared and was ebjoying the eye-flirting, maybe it was a bit quick for her? Next time you just casually decide to put your head through the... (read in full...)
I want to talk on the phone, and my BF doesn't!
Q. My boyfriend and I are having terrible disputes over being on the phone. Ikay I've been with my bf for 2, going on 3, years and he knows I love talking on the phone and particularly with him. So he always gets on the phone and don't say anything and ...
A. 30 May 2006: Dear Reader,
have you ever thought he's just not a phone person. Maybe talking to him on the phone makes him miss you in some way? Maybe he's just more of a face to face person. Quick Fix suggestion - don't talk to him on the phone, text him, go o... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats me like unwanted object.. What should I do??
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 months and i already dont know if i can trust him. i only get to see him once or twice a week and when he goes out he never asks me to come, and when i call him the next day he says that he didnt get home until 3 ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear reader -
if he is treating you badly then break up with him, it's not hard. You say yourself he's treating you like an unwanted object. If he's hiding you at home while he goes out doesn't that say anything to you? He should take you out, spoi... (read in full...)
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