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My step-sister is blackmailing me for money and sex

Tagged as: Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2006) 11 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

I am a 12 year old boy from the uk and my problem is that my 14 year old stepsister caught me smoking cannabis 3 months ago and ever since then she has been blackmailing me by threating to tell my mum at first she was only demanding money but since she split up with her boyfriend she has been demanding that I have sex with when ever she wants we are now having sex nearly every day.

I dont know what to do for the best?

View related questions: money, split up

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2006):

Dammit why can i have a step sister like that?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006):

How would your parents react if they found out that you smoked weed at this young age as against having sex with your step sister, even though she is older to you by just two years? You weigh the the greater of the two evils and make the right decision. By the way, you both are under age for indulging in any kind of sex, and i am not sure of the advice of others regards rape. Forget about legalities and just do what is right before it gets out of control. take care kid and all the best.

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A female reader, Cindy lou And Babbi +, writes (15 June 2006):

Cindy lou And Babbi agony auntu shuldnt be pushed into anything dat u dont wanna do because its not rite u shuld go straight to one of ur parents and explained wot happened and tehy will deal with her it will be fine dont worry about wot they r gonna say to u but get ur step sister to stop blackmailing by tellin ur parents adn neva try cannabis agen if u dont wanna get in trouble wiv the law

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A female reader, Terrapin +, writes (11 June 2006):

Terrapin agony auntPlease dont warn her you are going to tell a parent. Just go straight to your mum or dad and be honest. Yes cannibis is illegal, and you are a bit young to be trying it, but if they are normal british adults i bet they have tried it before. Please go and tell them as soon as you can. She is violating your human rights and making your life a misery. What could be worse than being raped?

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A female reader, Phoebe Halliwell United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2006):

Phoebe Halliwell agony auntHi,

the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone.

Why don't you come clean with your parents about what you did? They may be angry but say to them you didn't want to upset them but now ... etc etc and tell them about your step-sister black-mailing you. It's not right and has to be stopped.

All the Best,

Phoebe

xxx

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2006):

maxsteel86 agony auntIn the UK, its not illegal to have sex with your step siblings. But the underage part is illegal for both of you. And dont think this counts as rape since its not physically forced(law's all technical and dont expect any law guy to help you with this in the UK. Convictions and stuff are at 4% at best and thats for actual rape).

But here's my idea: film you two doing it next time and blackmail her right back

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

hi hun your story gives me goosebumps your sister is doing something ilegal and she is breaking the law 3 times. she is forcing you to have sex, this is classed as rape. she s having underage sex and she is having sex with a relative. you need to tell your mum or maybe a close adult you can trust. good luck sweetpea all the best just own up to the drugs but she will be in more bother and she will wish she had never done this to you bye hun xxxxxxxxxx good luck xxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, Smiler +, writes (5 June 2006):

Smiler agony auntHey there

hi sweetie you poor thing :-(, what she is doing to you is child abuse honey and not right! you have to put a stop to this she can be charged criminally for forcing you to have sex with her its actually a crime she is breaking the law here! forget about the smoking the pot i think that is un important her your safety is paramount here either talk to your mom or an adult you trust and get them to contact either the police or child services, you do not have to put up with this blackmailing you for sex! YOU ARE NOT ALONE HERE if talking to someone is hard for you you can always ring CHILDLINE ON 08703362914 its a confidential national number and they will give you all the help and advise you need for free sweetie ok.

I hope my advise helped you ut a little sweetie Good luck, if you ever need a mate to talk to or just some more advise don't hesitate to email me i'm always here for you ok... would like to hear from you again let me know how you get on ok..

You Take Care Sweetie X

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2006):

DrPsych agony auntIf you are serious...then you really just ought to confess about the pot smoking to your mother and deal with the consequences. You will run out of things that your step-sister wants from you, and then she will tell your mother anyway. So it is the stronger, braver thing to stand up for yourself now, and not wait passively for the inevitable to happen. It will send a message to her that she cannot mess with you. Equally it means that your parents will have to address the obvious difficulties in your family - it sounds like she has been sexually active at 14, you have been sexually active at 12, you are using drugs and your parents need to wake up and smell the Nescafe if all this is happening under their noses. Having sex under the age of 16 is considered illegal in the UK, and is taken very seriously by social services where there is lack of consent. Although the girl is not related by blood, she is still your 'sister' in the family and many people still regard such sexual relationships as taboo. She may well have deep psychological problems to want to blackmail you that need addressing now before the problem escalates to more victims or she ends up in trouble with the law, so in many ways confessing to your parents may be the best favour you ever do the girl!

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (5 June 2006):

Lostandalone agony aunt Just confess to your mom. Honesty is always the best policy. Go ahead and get it out of the way and take your punishment. I mean what could be worse being made to have sex or getting a whipping or grounded. When you tell, tell the whole story even what your step-sister is doing. Good Luck.

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2006):

camille agony auntI am so sorry that she is doing this to you. It's a violation and you must stop having sex with her. Find some inner strength to stand up to her. She is a bully. Blackmail and under age sex are illegal crimes (even if she is a minor herself). Turn the tables and tell her that if she carries on like this it'll be YOU telling your mum (or her dad etc) what SHE is doing and I'll bet she doesn't want thenm to know that. Either call her bluff or be brave enough to go through with it. What she is doing is wrong. Ok so you may get into trouble for smoking cannabis, but you do not and should not have to have this happen to you. It'll be worth it to get this horrible stepsister to stop her unacceptable threats. If you have anyone you can talk to, a friend, a family member, a teacher, then maybe try to get them to help you, otherwise, be strong and I wish you well.

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