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My real name is obviously NOT Phoebe Halliwell and no, I'm not Alyssa Milano either, though it'd be awesome if I were. I chose this name (Phoebe Halliwell) because she's a strong character and has been through some tough times in love herself, coming out stronger and still believing.
I'm young, single and live in the UK. I don't have any form of qualification, just a big heart and the occassional spare moment!
I have a pretty open mind and can relate to a lot of people. I'm the right side of 25 and have had some serious ups and downs! I'm just here to give you guys a fresh pair of eyes on a situation that seems to have no solution, sometimes that's all you need :)
Peace,
Phoebe
*NOTE* I'm going back to school for a while to try and change my career path. This means I won't be answering as quickly as I usually do but will still accept private e-mails from those seeking my advice. |
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My boyfriend is a mess, but I still love him. Help me stop!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years and the guy still is getting in trouble and drinking constantly. He has cheated on me recently and I still love him. Why? I know he will never change. I just want to be happy. How to do I let go? When...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
You love him simply because you've grown attached to him over the past 3 and 1/2 years and there is a special bond there. Him cheating on you must have weakened the bond between you but you still Love him because of that bond and feeling deep... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my teacher!!
Q. I've been in love with my teacher for over a year. sometimes we spend the break together talking and when we meet (in corridors) he always talks to me but when i m close to him i feel the urge to kiss him but i resist it. I' ve finished school b...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
I agree with Sourpio on this one. You can both still get into trouble even though he's not your teacher any more. And there is the small matter of a 19-24 year age Gap!!!
I think you'd be better off with someone your own age as getting ... (read in full...)
Caught in the middle of my two friends fighting over a boy!!
Q. Recently my bestest best friend-lets call her Amy- got a huge crush on a boy a year older than herself(call him Rob) who no doubt, she is great friends with. They hang out alot and recently worked closely in a school show. Amy is obssed with Rob and ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
being caught in the middle is always a sticky situation. Especially when you know one of your friends (if not both) are going to end up unhappy. The only thing you can do is sit back and watch this whole thing play out. If you support one, the ... (read in full...)
I am 13 and dating but how can we loosen up and be less shy??
Q. Please help, i have just started going out with a boy. Im 13 and so is he. i dont know why but whenever i meet up with him we both go really shy. We sort of like a frigid couple, we havent even held hands yet! Llease help me and give me some adv...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
well I'm afraid to say there's no easy answer to this one! Take things slowly. You don't want to rush into a Relationship just because you can. You'll find you're shy because you LIKE him. You know like him, one of the main reasons you go out ... (read in full...)
I txt his friend and told him to ask this other girl but he doesnt fancy me!!
Q. Sorry This Is Kinda Long :( I'm a 12 year old girl who has NEVER EVER had a boyfriend. now, thats not a bad thing, i'm still young, i couldn't really give a dam, rather wait and find someone worth it than waste your youth having crummy boyfrien...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
well you ARE in a bit of a tricky situation there!
First off, talk to both of them. See what's going on. If James' mate is going out with this girl he likes and James is heat-broken you can do one of two things-
1) apologise and tell him wha... (read in full...)
Bad experiences with my ex are affecting my good relationship now!
Q. I am feeling kind of reluctant to talk with my boyfriend lately because I have been stressed out about my ex. He was emotionally abusive and rushed and pushed me to get engaged because he wanted to marry me for his green card. I eventually came to ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
the only advice I have for you is to tell your boyfriend everything. Then he can help you through this. If he can't cope with his girlfriend having problems then tough! Don't let your ex get to you. Show him you are strong and never give up o... (read in full...)
He would rather spend time partying and I want out but how do I break up with him??
Q. He would rather not spend more time with me but party/nightclub. I became attached to my boyfriend after 6 month dating, he claimed busy all the time, he is a MBA student. Everytime I want to be with him, he always gave me a list of things he need ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
You want out? Then Let him down gently. Explain everything to him and tell him yourself, face to face. Don't let him find out from someone else.
I hope all goes well and BLESSED BE!
Phoebe
xxx ... (read in full...)
My online guy is a bit of a stalker...
Q. I met a guy on-line and he's kind of stalker, I don't know how to reject him politely, what can do?...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
there is only one answer for this one. And it's one all the others have been saying. Ditch him now before it's too late!!!
You know it's the right thing to do.
Good Luck and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx ... (read in full...)
I get on so well with my professor... What should I do?
Q. Hello, I have a genuine liking for one of my professors. She is a psychology professor and we have SO MUCH in common. We like the same colors, we wear the same colored clothing (alot of black and brown and dark green), we eat the same foods, we have ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
STAY AWAY.
Teachers, married or not are off limits. It's against the law. Now throw in a husband and two kiddies and you've got yourself a real no-no!!!
Find someone your own age and if you really can't stop going to her office for these ch... (read in full...)
I REALLY like him but I can't do anything about it, help!
Q. Okay so there is this guy. I really like him, when i say really i mean A LOT. Problem is he has a girlfriend and he is 3 years older them me and i know my parents wouldnt like that. Im scared to tell him because we are like best friends and i dont ...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader,
I am currently in a simular situation! Just be friendly to him and if at any point him and his girlfriend break up, get in there! Be there for him and show him what a lovely person you are!
All the best and Blessed Be,
P... (read in full...)
I had a wild time in bed -- with my mate's mum!
Q. I'm 19 and until a few weeks ago I was still a virgin. My mates all knew and teased me a bit about it but I wasn't too bothered. Then in July, one of my mates was going on holiday to Greece and asked me for a lift to the airport. When I picked ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi Reader.
it's plain and simple, It can't work! There is a 21 year age Gap between you two and if you did take it further with her your mate would find out one way or another. Then what would happen? Sorry if this is not the answer you're look... (read in full...)
Everything is good why cant he get on with my family??
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I am 25, he is 26 and we are planning on spending the rest of our lives together. At the moment we are starting to save for a house deposit. We both still live at home (me, with my parents and...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader,
Don't give up on your relationship now. It sounds like a good one and each person has their faults. Maybe he just doesn't know how to act or what to say and is very intimidated by your parents? Don't nagg him about it, i'm sure he'l... (read in full...)
My brother is slowly killing himself and I don't know if I should try and help!
Q. My brother has been an unstable diabetic since he was 8. Ten years later and things are just getting worse. The chances are he's not going to live to see his 30's, because his organs won't be able to cope and will just stop working. I know he can ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
you good brave girl!
Do all that you can, put a pinpirck in his ciggies, then all he breathes in is air! Tell him that you're scared and worried! Does your Mum/Dad know he's killing himself? Tell someone. Don't sit there and watch your bro... (read in full...)
My mums weirdness is making me paranoid!!
Q. Me and my mum have always been really close and when i was like 6 i used to tell her absolutly everything but now i am 13 and i am a teenager i hardly tell her cos i am either out with my mates or at my bofriends house. She doesnt think i have ever ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi Sophie,
Well Mums can be kind of weird about this stuff. She still thinks of you as her little girl. The one who thought boys were "yucky things that pick their noses and rip the heads off Barbie dolls" !!!!
Chances are if you talk to your... (read in full...)
He's taking HER on holiday, after he promised ME we'd go together!
Q. After a few years in a relationship, my boyfriend dumped me for someone new. Their relationship has never worked out well, but they still see each other irregularly. Meanwhile, he and I have transitioned into best friends. Here's my dilemma. Since ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
You have every right to feel hurt as you were deeply involved with him and this has obviously brought back old times and memories. Don't let it get to you. it's in the past and do you know what I'd do? Go on an exotic Holiday to the Carr... (read in full...)
My bf seems to not care about me anymore..what can I do to improve our relationship?
Q. me and my fiancee of 4 years are 2 months pregnancy.we are in a distance relationship, he is in africa and i am in europe.but all of a sudden he has changed.he seems not to care anymore about me, he goes partying until morning, but b4 the pregnancy ...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader in Need,
To help your relationship I would try and communicate more with him. Tell him how you feel about him, tell him you want this Babys' daddy to be there for him/her. Understand this from your Partners' point of veiw. He is in th... (read in full...)
Shall we get back together for the kids sake?
Q. I have been separated from my wife for 10 months now, and only recently have we began to talk without anger. We have 3 kids, and because of work, I am a distance dad who travels to see them about twice a month. Recently, my wife has been ...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader,
Well, I'm glad to hear that you still have a good relationship with the kids. If they were young children yes, I'd say get back together so they can grow up with a Daddy. but as these kids are older, I'd say it's up to you really. ... (read in full...)
We want a baby and I can't get pregnant!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for the past year and i cant seem to get pregnant, could there be any causes to this? im very stuck as i know he really wants children and im scared i cant...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
my advice to you is keep trying for that family you want so badly. he wants kids, you want kidsso keep trying. I know some people where the Doctors said there was a vey small chance of them having kids and then They had twins so anything is poss... (read in full...)
He just wanted to be alone on his birthday. Why wouldn't he spend it with me?
Q. Why he did not want us to celebrate his birthday together but preferred being alone? Today is my guy's 28th birthday. He did not know I knew his birthday even we have been dating for 4 months already. I knew that by seeing his driver licens...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi Anon,
Listen, just because he wanted to be alone on his birthday doesn't mean you pull out of a good healthy Relationship. Keep it going and all will be well.
Phoebe
xxx... (read in full...)
How to meet a decent guy...
Q. I'm rather shy and I want to meet a decent guy. Any tips coz I have had a lot of bad experiences....
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
Poor you. Been quite unlucky in the lucky dip of love? There is no certain way to meet a decent guy. If there is or you find one let me know! You don't go to find decent guys, decent guys find you! You sound like a lovely person who has just... (read in full...)
If he doesn't think of me all the time, could he still be in love and just not know it?
Q. My boyfriend of a year and a half says he isn't sure if he loves me because he doesn't think about me "all the time". He is 23 and I am the first girl he has been with for over 3 months. Up until he told me this, I thought he loved me because ...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader,
This may appear a tricky one but there could be an easy answer you havent found yet!
He's told you he cares about you deeply, surely that's enough for now? He shouldn't really have to tell you he loves you, you should already know... (read in full...)
I think my sister is smoking and drinking. Do I mention it to our parents?
Q. Hello, I'm 14. Male. I have 2 sisters, one is 16 years old, the other is 18. I'm concerned about the 16 year old. When I was looking for some files on my computer I stumbled across pictures of my sister smoking. I didn't know this, I don't th...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader,
I'm afraid to say there are no risk free options here. You could either:
1)Tell an adult outside of the family that you trust (but then they could tell someone and news could spread)
2) Tell someone inside the familt that you also tru... (read in full...)
Should I question my boyfriend about his previous girlfriends?
Q. I have been feeling kind of insecure lately about my bf's ex-girlfriends. Now that we are more serious and have been seeing each other for almost a year, I want to ask him more details about his exes because I knew he had sex with them, though w...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader and Friend in need,
If you feel uncomfortable in a relationship them of course you should ask him! It's perectly understandable that you want to know everything before it's too late. I respect you for being brave enough to think abou... (read in full...)
He cheated and now i cant kiss him!!
Q. Im with this boy and we've been together for 6 months but in the past he has cheated on me once and I found myself not trusting him. I also cant get myself to kiss him anymore. I love him so much and dont want to lose him but dont know if i'm doing ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi EMZ,
Know why you can't bring yourself to kiss him? It's because you don't want to become any more attached to him incase he hurts you again. I think you know this deep down inside of you.
You say you don't want to loose him but I think yo... (read in full...)
I still want him.....but he was in bed with someone else....NAKED!!!!
Q. I found my boyfriend in bed with another woman both naked.I still want him in my life i cant let go.Is this right?...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
There is no right or wrong in wanting him back in your life. The only wrong here is Him in Bed with another woman! It's not wrong to want him back in your life as you Probably feel quite deeply for him. Am I right???
You deserve better but i... (read in full...)
I found texts on his phone, but they said nothing went on. Can I believe that?
Q. hello can anyone help i found texts on my husbands mobile a while back and they didnt seem very inocent, anyway after talking to him he tells me that nothin ever went on, i allso talked to the person who he sent the texts to and she also said it was ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hello,
Once a cheat, always a cheat isn't true some of the time.
You probably can't get over this because even though it's on the past it has never been properly dealt with, concluding that you can't trust him because of his past that you still ah... (read in full...)
She says my bf cheatted but he swears its not true. Who do I beleive??
Q. Ive been dating a wonderful guy for three months now, although that is a short amount of time, its been non-stop since we met..spending almost all of our spare time together, already talking of living together. Ive been anti-relationship for the ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
I've got to say I agree with Dazzerg on this one. You'll never know exactly what happened. There are facts pointing either way. I would stay with your boyfriend, keep the Relationship going. If he did cheat, he probably won't be able to live... (read in full...)
He cheated on me in the early days because he thought we wouldn't last!
Q. Just recently I found out that my boyfriend of 5 months cheated on me when we first started going out. We have gone out twice before for very short amounts of time. I think he cheated because he thought it wasn't going to last, he thought the ...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader,
First off, do you really love this guy, even if he did think it wouldn't last. If you don't love him you've just answered your own problem.
Him saying he didn't think it would last was probably him not having faith because one of h... (read in full...)
I know it's meant to be, but she has someone else!
Q. I had been with this girl for 1 year and we broke up about three months ago. I am truly in love with her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She still tells me she loves me sometimes and that she just isn't ready to come back to me yet ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
First off, I'm glad you've found someone you can really feel for. Congrats! Next, don't give up on love. Ever. Do as she says. Don't look in her direction when she's with this boyfriend she's got at the minute. It could make him jealous and ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, and I really didn't mean to. Why did I do it and what do I do next?
Q. I feel so messed up really, and I really don’t know what to think. This might be long, and maybe no one would read it, but I always find things better when I am able to write them down. Well the thing is that I have been with my boyfriend now for ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi
I can't tell you exactly WHY you cheated on your boyfriend, it's different reasons for different people. What to do. Hmmm... First thing is to obviously decide who you want to be with. Axe or JD. If it's JD then come clean with Axe and let him ... (read in full...)
I want a bit of fun with my bfs best mate!!
Q. I met my boyfriend at work he is a chef and his best mate is also a chef at the same place, im all loved up with my boyfriend but the past month or so ive felt somthing for his best mate. We all went to the pub one night when we got paid and my b...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi
As Martini said, you have answered yourself in your own question. Which do you like more? Your boyfriend or his mate? Because if the answer is his mate then it's not fair to string your boyfriend along.
NOTE - your bfs mate said he wanted t... (read in full...)
Why am I still thinking about the affair so many years afterwards?
Q. My husband had an affair many, many years ago. We never really dealt with it in any way. He just said he wouldn't do it again and that he wasn't very proud of himself. If I would ask a question about it he would lie or ask "why do you want to talk ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hello gotokoko.
Ok. Let's start at the root of the problem. He cheated, you trusted and he cheated. Because you never delt with it the wound hasn't healed. It's like a paper cut. He cut you, you havent delt with it, so the cut keeps splitting open... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to break-up because my parents don't like him!
Q. My boyfriend and I are having some problems. He wants to break up with me because my parents don't like him. I tell him that it shouldn't matter what they think as long as I love him. What should I do?...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi
you are too right there! It shouldn't matter what anyone else says. As long as you feel for him and it is meant to be, everything will be fine
mail back and tell me how it goes!
Phoebe xxx... (read in full...)
I miss her so much and would LOVE to be with her again!
Q. I want my ex back! Hi there. I have a serious problem. I recently came out of a failed relationship with a much younger girl (16 and I am 23)and now I've realized that I still love my ex of 2 years back. I think this is why this relationship wit...
A. 14 April 2006: Hey Sharkie,
Just tell this girl how you feel. Maybe the realtionship didn't work out the way you wanted in the first place because she didn't know you truly loved her. If she rejects you telling her how youfeel just show her what a loving a supp... (read in full...)
Why do guys say they will call and leave it a few days?
Q. Why do guys say they'll call a woman and then wait a few days before calling? Do they really not think of you for those few days, or do they just not want to seem desperate? And why do some guys tell the woman to call them instead of just calling ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi
guys don't call straight away because they don't want you to think they're desperate. it's a way of trying to impress you I suppose. They want to feel in control so they wait until you call them! I agree with Shania. Do things your style and I re... (read in full...)
Was it 'meant to be'?
Q. After breaking up with my man I have come to realise how long I've been living out of fear for. He did a lot of bad things and I always felt it was all his fault. Now I realise the bottom line of the universes' message they were trying to send me. ...
A. 14 April 2006: hey Soul Sista
he lied, cheated and treated you with no respect what-so-ever. I havent even met him and i don't like him! Move on, if he does have the nreve to come crawling back to you, turn him away! he had his chance and blew it. Don't Dwell on p... (read in full...)
I'm not quite sure which to do to make myself happier!
Q. Please!!! Someone to help me!!! Should I decide to have a baby or/and buy a house to revive ten years of unhappy marriage??? Thanks!!!...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi
go with the house, and do anything you can to revive a marriage. Think how the child would feel to know that he/she was only there to make mummy and daddy happy but it didn't work? Or imagine when it's older and finds out it was only born to make... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I'm exactly "normal".....
Q. This is kind of a wierd question but...am i normal? Life just seems like so much effort and i'm scared of everything. Does everyone feel like this or is there something wrong with me?...
A. 14 April 2006: hi
there is nothing wrong wiht you at all!
I am exactly the same. Just live your own life inyour own way and I'm sure things will straighten out for you!
All the Best,
Phoebe xxx
ps: tell me how it goes ok?... (read in full...)
I'm a desperate man with troubles and need advice, I just don't want to let my kids down!
Q. Hi i have just split from my girlfriend we have a 3 year old son i love and i have 3 kids from a previous relationship,my relationships have a pattern of going the same way starts good end up bad i have a history of depression not violence i just e...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi
you are these kids' Daddy. You can't ever let them down, to them you're Superman! DO what you thik is right and best for them. Listen to your heart.
Phoebe xxx... (read in full...)
I love my teacher, but what should I do about it?
Q. hey.. Im 15 years old and im in love with my teacher.. I dont know what to do ..because i have a boyfriend and hes engaged.. also he is moving to another school, and today was his last dday :( i know its stupid..because im 15 and hes 25...but...
A. 14 April 2006: Dear Reader
If he's moving to another school this means he is no longer your teacher, correct? This means you can now leagally go out with him. Is this school far away? A ten year age gap is ok, I mean there are 9 years between my parents! This is a... (read in full...)
Does his "have kids when you're young" really mean "I want to have kids with you"?
Q. This older man that I am friends with ( and suspect that he likes me as something more) was asking me if I wanted to have children. I told him yes I did. He told me to have them when I was young; and then he winked at me. He said I should have ...
A. 14 April 2006: Hey! Woah! Slow down one second. Seventeen year age gap if I'm not mistaken. Has he actually made a move on you? I'd stay freinds with him and meet someone nearer your own age.
Goooood Luck!
Phoebe xxx... (read in full...)
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