My husband insists nothing happened between him and his female friend, but I know he's lying
Q. Sorry for the length, needed to vent. I have been with my partner 9 years. He has a job that means he is away from home at least 1 night a week, but usually more. Late last year I became aware of a woman he had befriended (he felt sorry for her b...
A. 8 September 2011: Having this information and keeping it to yourself is clearly doing your mind and soul a lot of damage. Why should you be the silent martyr in all of this? Keeping HIS betrayal a secret for his benefit and the benefit of keeping the marriage ... (read in full...)
Is going on a work retreat acceptable without a spouse?
Q. Hi - Thank you for taking the time to read my post. My husband’s work has an annual retreat for 4 days and it has been stated, “Spouses are not welcome.” Would this bother anyone else? My husband and I are having a lot of issues as is - this ...
A. 5 September 2011: I just read your update. It looks like your original question is not the problem at all. How long has it been since he cheated on you? Since you have a valid trust issue, I regret to inform you no one's words/advice will make you feel more secure in ... (read in full...)
We are both married, had an affair and now he has stopped contacting me, what can I do?
Q. hi i recently had a six week affair with a married man, i am also married. it started out online then we realised we knew each other, we met up quite a few times kissing etc then we got more serious we had sex once. now i have heard nothing from him ...
A. 5 September 2011: You would like the friendship, but he doesn't. He wanted sex and did whatever was necessary to get to the end-line. Since he got what he wanted, he no longer expends his energy on you because he doesn't care about you as a person. There is nothing ... (read in full...)
Is going on a work retreat acceptable without a spouse?
Q. Hi - Thank you for taking the time to read my post. My husband’s work has an annual retreat for 4 days and it has been stated, “Spouses are not welcome.” Would this bother anyone else? My husband and I are having a lot of issues as is - this ...
A. 4 September 2011: It wouldn't bother me personally. I prefer to keep work and my private life separate and see no need to drag my man or be dragged by him to a boring work-related event. In my experience, the talks are always work-related and really uninteresting to ... (read in full...)
I've uncovered the truth, but he won't say anymore!?!
Q. I have a huge problem! I started dating this man, he told me that his past wife died, I fell in love, well through time things were not adding up, red flags. Come to find out his wife did not die! He is married. I confronted him and he said he would ...
A. 4 September 2011: The real question is: why do you need his confirmation? You have already uncovered the truth. Does it make any more true/terrible if he were to tell you he is married? It makes no sense. You say he is avoiding the issue and only visits for sex. Do ... (read in full...)
I've cheated and she forgave me, but why can't I forgive her?
Q. my wife had one afair, not a one night stand, after i had cheated for 6 years and while she was pregnant. We are suppose to put all this behind us but what i didnt tell you is ive been lying to my wife, telling her im going to the bank, then i go to ...
A. 4 September 2011: Men are less forgiving in general when it comes to cheating, since they're more territorial and treat women as something that is theirs. Aside from that, have you ever thought that it's your way of making your cheating more acceptable to your own ... (read in full...)
How do I stop other women trying to steal my good looking boyfriends?
Q. I work with my ex and I have a member of staff that flirts round him and it is making him attracted to her. She is the type of girl that knows how to play it i.e leave them wanting more -as in, she asked him-I know you from somewhere, and it has ...
A. 1 September 2011: There is nothing you can do. You can only control your own thoughts and actions, not those of your ex. If he wants to be flirtatious, or even sleep with her, it will be HIS choice. A choice he makes on his own free will, not because some horrible, ... (read in full...)
Can trust him after I found texts and photos of a bikini model on his phone?
Q. Hello all. I have posted before but feel like I can explain a little better now that I have calmed down and found some new answers. I am a 22 yr old female. I have been seeing this guy for a little over a year. When we first started close, I...
A. 1 September 2011: Fact: he cheated on you twice already. First with his HS friend and then with the bikini model. Keep in mind, these are two girls that you know of. There could be even more women that you're unaware of. In both cases, he made up BS excuses. 1."H... (read in full...)
Is she just with me because I pay for everything? I'm not whom she would normally date
Q. im 24 yrs old and my girlfriend is 28 yrs old. We have been together for abt 2 months and have been living together for 1 month. I recently got out of a relationship and was very hurt. I love this girl alot and even though she says she loves me alot ...
A. 1 September 2011: I don't quite understand you. You said that "you love this girl a lot" after knowing her only for 2 months. If you love her as you say, why do you have a hard time believing that she loves you back? Is it rooted in your own insecurities because she ... (read in full...)
Two brothers love me. One is bad one is good. I love them both but I am with the bad one
Q. What do you do when two brothers love you, one is the silent best friend from beginning of high school, and the other is the older bad boy brother who spoke up to share his feelings right away. This is really tough because, the bad boy brother ...
A. 1 September 2011: You should ditch them both and get yourself a new man without any drama attached, OR a brother! :) "It doesn't help that the brothers played on a fantasy and shared me two times" Are you sure that was not your fantasy? Why would two brothers ... (read in full...)
He wants me to have sex with someone else because he has no sex drive, and he wants to fool around with a man again as he is bisexual! How do I cope with this?
Q. I'm in need of some serious advice. So lately my husband's sex drive has plummeted and our sex life hasn't been that great because along with his sex drive his stamina has plummeted as well. Well he sat me down two days ago and said that he knows he ...
A. 30 August 2011: If he didn't have much of a sex drive/stamina, he wouldn't be able to fu*ck men! He has no sexual interest in YOU. Whether that is a temporary thing, or permanent only he knows. Instead of telling you that he wants to sleep with men, he has created ... (read in full...)
Six years and he still won't set a date??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years, we have been engaged for 6. We do not live together, in fact we only get to see each other maybe once or twice a week because of his work schedule. I love him so much and he says the same. But we ...
A. 29 August 2011: If you won't take your family's and friend's advise, you certainly will not take ours. Your family knows your situation far better than any of us. If you cannot imagine life without him, you will have to settle for the life that you have with him - ... (read in full...)
Is she trying to brush me off or maybe she's playing hard to get?
Q. Hi everyone, I've written various questions of a theme about a married woman at work to whom I am very attracted, and her attempts to brush me off, ignore me etc (successfully i might add) I had a fairly off the wall thought in relation to this...
A. 29 August 2011: You have written various questions? Have you followed any of the advice then or are you looking for advice that will encourage your obsession? Honestly, you need to leave this woman alone already. She doesn't want you. If she did, you would have ... (read in full...)
First my BF lies about kissing the girl in the bikini, then he says he put the picture up for "revenge" from me, and he doesn't even like her!
Q. I have had a boyfriend for a bit over a year. We were not official for a while but always exclusive. We became best friends, even through our ups and downs and were alywas there for eachother. We had a really bad phase a few months ago, but recently ...
A. 28 August 2011: He is only using you to have a roof over his head. Think about it, would you rather beg for forgiveness or live in a car? Why is he staying with you anyhow? Doesn't he have a job to pay for his own apartment? How about friends or family that he can ... (read in full...)
Do I believe my boyfriend or my friends who claim he cheats, and they hate him for it?
Q. What should i do with my boyfriend who my friends hate?! I have a boyfriend who my 8 best friends don't really like. They have heard numerous rumors about him cheating on me and texting girls weird things in the past 7 months that we have been dati...
A. 28 August 2011: You're in love with this man therefore you do not see him objectively. If your 8 close friends care for your well-being and want to see you happy, and if they ALL dislike him, there is a problem. And that problem is not within your friends, but your ... (read in full...)
This long distance is killing me. What shall I do?? My friends say stay with him.
Q. hi... ive been in two serious relationships in this past year with two different guys... i was with a guy who i had a crush on for 4 yrs for 6 months and it was long distance because i moved to here three yrs ago. well me and him had a lot of trus...
A. 27 August 2011: Listen to your family. I never liked to listen to my family either when I was a teenager, but they are usually always right. And when it comes to character assessment of your friends and boyfriends, they are usually always right! Their opions and ... (read in full...)
My wife's behaviour is making me lose respect for her
Q. Ever since I have married I have become miserable, as I feel like I got a bad deal, as I don't feel like my wife brings a lot into this marriage. She comes with a past which has made me a bit of an emotional wreck. Add to that she has messed up her ...
A. 27 August 2011: " I learn that she was not respectable (she has been with few guys), her academics were not great and once she gave up her old job she has been struggling to get a new one and she is not really all that smart because she has live all her life with ... (read in full...)
My wife has no sex drive and this is ruining things!
Q. My wife has no sex drive. This is ruining everything. We have been together for 12 years and we have 3 children, separation is NO option. I have searched not only this website but the entire net high and low and have found nothing, no real a...
A. 25 August 2011: To answer your question, yes, I have seen the problem solved. There was a special documentary on intimacy issues a few years ago. It examined 3 couples, one which had a sexless marriage. During the taped therapy sessions, it became clear that the ... (read in full...)
My pregnant Gf no longer wants to see me. How do I get her back? I was texting prostitutes
Q. My current girlfriend (whom I do want to marry) is 2 months pregnant and she looked through my phone only to discover text messages I had with other girls as well as prostitutes to set up dates. I have never cheated on her or gave her reason to thin...
A. 25 August 2011: I'm afraid you're simply not ready for a real relationship, OR you are not with a woman you're truly compatible with. If you truly love someone, you make sacrifices. Real sacrifices, not just waiting a couple of months to have sex. Since you cannot ... (read in full...)
He wont say how he feels because he is afraid of me kicking him out! Plus I'm fed up of feeling like his mom!
Q. hello everyone, im having a problem with my boyfriend whom lives with me. we have been together for years and years since and we are our very early twenty's. and this is the first place we have both lived other than home... we live in my moms rental ...
A. 25 August 2011: You're being used financially. You say he has a good job, so why is he asking you for money and why are you paying for his 'stuff'? Of course he flipped out at the thought of moving out. He would then have to pay his own rent, food and he wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Should I just quit my job to move to be with him? Or wait until February?
Q. Had this friend for several years, always liked him, then last June we just hit it off and said we loved each other. We are made for each oter. We have the same interests, the same view on life, we have so much fun together... it's just, you know, ...
A. 25 August 2011: First of, how long have you been dating? I know you stated that you've known him for years as friends, but how long have you actually been involved with him romantically? If it's only a couple of months, you're looking at the wold in rose colored ... (read in full...)
Should I stop seeing him? Found escort agency on his computer
Q. I came accross an escort agency on my new boyfriends computer history, one year later its there again, he has had txt messages advertisine 'indays' from women and the occassional sexy picture on his mobile. His excuse is that it was his son using ...
A. 25 August 2011: "I have told him we are over but he insists I am wrong and I know instinctively I am write"
You know what you need to do, you just need follow through. If you need strangers on this board encouraging you or agreeing with you to spur you on, I'll... (read in full...)
He was the one who sweet-talked about marriage, a few years later he says marriage is like cutting his balls off?
Q. So what is it about marriage that scares guys? My boyfriend and I have lived together for 4.5 years and been dating nearly 5. We live like we are married as it is. My friends are getting married and his friends are getting married and it makes me ...
A. 23 August 2011: Words are just that: WORDS! He said it to make you feel a certain way, that is all. Any time you have a discrepancy between a man's words and a man's actions, it just means he is lying. Actions are the only indicator of character and truth.
M... (read in full...)
How do stop the habit of fancying older men?
Q. Due to my sexual past that started with a man who was more than 20 years my senior, I find myself now - 6 years later - still somehow attracted to men that much older. And I want to get rid of this "habit". I have a super good looking nice man my a...
A. 23 August 2011: You have not specified, but have you been with with men your age/around your age after the break-up? How about before him, or was he your first serious relationship? If you haven't been in love and had sex since then, you have no reason to be ... (read in full...)
Why does being a "Nice Guy" get me nowhere?
Q. My virginity doesn't bother me that much, on most days at least, but I do feel a bit sad over the fact that I've never been in a relationship, NEVER. I'm 22 and nothing! I'm starting to feel that if I don't end up in relationship I'll never get ...
A. 22 August 2011: Most "Nice Guys" that do not get women have some of the following unattractive qualities:
1. No or little self confidence
2. Inability to talk to women because they are shy or cannot flirt. Read: socially awkward
2. Needy and/or clingy
3... (read in full...)
Thoughts on engagement rings?
Q. A friend of mine recently got engaged, and then broke the engagement off last weekend. Her now ex-fiance stated "that was a total waste of $4500" (meaning the amount that he spent on the engagement ring.) I personally agree that $4500 is too much to ...
A. 21 August 2011: 1. No matter what anyone says to you, you will always feel that $500 is cheap. You place a lot of value on the engagement ring, since it is a life-long investment; something you will be wearing for the rest of your life. Flat screen TVs, furniture, ... (read in full...)
What is it about the average guys that makes them get the most stunning girls?
Q. We all know of or heard of average, even below average guys consistently getting stunning girls. These guys don't have high status. If arrogance is a turn off, why don't these average/below average guys turn off these stunning girls? If they a...
A. 19 August 2011: I haven't seen or known many average to below average men to with hot women. And the ones that did, they had really good jobs and were very generous to their gfs.... (read in full...)
What do I do with this desire I have for another woman?
Q. Hello im 32 yrs old and married to a real good woman in all aspects i also have a wonderful baby boy that I adore but i meat someone a female 8 yrs younger and never did anything physcial but the conversations and the physical attraction is so ...
A. 19 August 2011: What do you like about this 24 year old girl specifically? What qualities does she have that make her your "soul mate" in your eyes? Keep in mind, you have recently met her, so you really don't know her well. How certain are you that she ... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance and quit my job?
Q. Basically i have been really considering leaving my job in the fall. I feel like i am stuck and after almost 5 years if i stay another year, my job as an assistant will basically be my career. I am also very tired of the labor aspect..being on my ...
A. 19 August 2011: From personal experience, I advise you to stay at your current job while you look/apply to other jobs. It's always easier to find work when you're employed than unemployed. Unemployed people are unfortunately seen as some type of defects - that ... (read in full...)
His ex won't leave us alone!
Q. I know this is long, but it covers the "high points" Please read... I am 23yrs old. I have been dating a man who is 39yrs old. We practically live together with his 2 sisters and his 2 kids. I gave this man everything I could, I sacrficed so mu...
A. 18 August 2011: "I will feel comfortable if I talk to his ex, because I understand I can't force anyone to stop talking to whoever they want, I just want my respect from her because I'm his girlfriend." You got it all wrong. You don't need respect from her... (read in full...)
Should I try to work things out with husband or call it quits?
Q. Where do I draw the line? My husband and I have been married for three years and together for almost six. About a month ago, I found out that he had a conversation with our best friends (a married couple) about swinging. The conversation was...
A. 17 August 2011: First your husband had sex with your swinger friends and lied about it. To make it worse, he created accounts on dating sites in hopes to have sex with 3 women. Keep in mind those are women that you know of, there could be more. Those are two ... (read in full...)
I'm prepared to face the consequences of dating a married man, so how do I approach him?
Q. It’s been two years now that I feel attracted to a man at my workplace. The problem is that he’s married. Yeah, I already know what you’ll tell me: Stay away from him. I’ve done so for the past two years but I still feel the same attraction. I know ...
A. 16 August 2011: You have been lusting after him for 2 years, so why breach this subject with him now? It makes no sense. If he felt attracted to you, or was willing to cheat, don't you think he would have approached you sexually already? Two years is a long time. ... (read in full...)
How can I make sure my lover's wife found out about us without him knowing I did it?
Q. I am having an affair with a man from work. I am single, he has been with his partner for about 5 years and they have lived together for one or two years. We worked very closely together for over a year. he had feelings for me throughout this ...
A. 16 August 2011: "I could never ask him to leave her because then I will be responsible if he is not happy after their split."
Let me quickly call bullshit on your statement. You're writing to us, wondering how YOU can tell his partner about the affair without ... (read in full...)
I fear that I may be wasting my time if my partner waits any longer to make commitment. HELP!
Q. I have been with my partner now for almost 3 years (on and off). About 6 months ago I left him for 3 months then gave the relationship another try, I did truly miss him and my heart did linger for him only. He is 38 years old and I am 24, I live ...
A. 16 August 2011: 1. You have been together for 3 years, BUT it's on and off relationship. Look at it objectively, why would anyone want to propose when they're in an unstable relationship? Perhaps you should examine why you have been breaking up and who has been ... (read in full...)
I don't want my boyfriend to fall for this gorgeous contractor we might hire to work with us!
Q. How can I be more trusting of my boyfriend? My boyfriend and I have a small business where we sub-contract web design work to others. We've recently been expanding the business and looking for new contractors. I found someone online who's int...
A. 15 August 2011: There are ALWAYS going to be more beautiful women than you. Heck, even smarter, funnier, more talented, ect. What a lot of jealous, insecure women don't realize is this: what makes you think that a stunning, gorgeous woman would desire YOUR man? ... (read in full...)
Why does he want a trial marriage if we have already been G/f and B/f for two years already?
Q. I was out to dinner with my boyfriend tonight and I asked him what his reservations are about getting married. He told me that he wanted to live together first because he wanted a trial run to see if we were compatible. I feel after two years he s...
A. 14 August 2011: 1. You mentioned he doesn't want to pay deposit twice in your letter. Why? It's his idea to move in together but he doesn't want to shell money for it? Ask him.
2. Now the story changes and you say that he wants to move into your parents house. Y... (read in full...)
I tried being less available hoping he'd propose ...
Q. Hey everyone, seen a few similar posts, so thought I'd ask for help too! I have been trying this new 'technique' where I've stopped being so readily available and have started taking a renewed interest in my own life - work, hobbies, friends and the ...
A. 13 August 2011: Honey, he is a man. He won't be able to put your actions in context and be motivated to propose. :) Honestly, it shouldn't be this difficult. You shouldn't have to go through these silly hoops to ignite some urgency in him. He should want to prop... (read in full...)
She's surrounded by men in the workplace -- might she feel some attraction?
Q. My question is this. I've wondered about someone I work with and since I cant read minds dont really know what she thinks. If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job require...
A. 13 August 2011: Women are different from men in this regard. Just because you would be distracted and tempted in that situation, doesn't mean she feels the same way. I worked in a predominantly male office and I loved it. I was the youngest female and I had male ... (read in full...)
What body type do ladies find attractive?
Q. Everyone will have a different answer, I know, but... what type of body do you girls like in an 18 year old lad? As in skinny, slim and toned, bulky or lots of softness? I'm doing a bit of weight training to get biger and just wondered what people ...
A. 13 August 2011: I am a woman and I'll be very blunt with you here. Most women like tall men with a decent amount of muscle of their bodies. Sure there are some females that prefer the sight of a slimmer man, but those women are in the minority. Most women like to ... (read in full...)
My married lover destroyed my life!
Q. hi, i am single and had an affair with a married man. I managed to hack his mail ID and found he has chatted and flirted with many young girls. saying 'i love you' and all. he's definitely playing with innocent lives. I know his daughter's mail ID. ...
A. 13 August 2011: Your age range is 30-35, so I am surprised you would stoop this low. Act your age instead of behaving like an immature, spiteful teenager! You CHOOSE to go after a married man, and now you're experiencing the downside of it. Accept your consequences ... (read in full...)
Is it wierd if I propose to him?
Q. Hi everyone ! Please help me...i like a boy who works for the same company as i do, but we work in different state. Im 27 and the boy is 24. Will it be weird if i propose him...coz of age difference ?...
A. 12 August 2011: 1. You say you like him? You don't marry when you like someone, but when both parties involved are in love with serious future commitments in mind.
2. From your limited text, I get the impression that this is a one-sided crush/infatuation. Are ... (read in full...)
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