What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 16 February 2012: He gave her gifts and provided for her in exchange for her youth and beauty but he NEVER put her in his will. He was not stupid and never prepared anything legally for her after his death. The court ruling stated that he was mentally fit and under ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he is cheating? What should I look out for?
Q. Hi I think my fiance Is cheating on me wth his colleague,he's always sending her messages claiming to me that it work related.so I would like to know what to look out for,how can I be sure that he's cheating,I want to know the signs becouse he once ...
A. 16 February 2012: "I want to know what kind of a man he realy is" He is a man who already cheated on you. He is a man that you don't and can't trust. What will you do if you were to find out that he was cheating on you again? Will you say for the third time "how ... (read in full...)
He has no money because of a failed business deal and child support, so I am paying for everything! Do I keep on like this because I'm his fiancee, or can I tell him I've had enough?
Q. My fiance and I have been living together for two years and we planned to get married this year. He was involved in a business deal before we met which last year started to go bad and for the past 6 months he has been using most of his salary (...
A. 16 February 2012: How much does he owe in debt? There is a difference if he owes 10,000 grand or 50,000 or over 100,000. How much is he paying each month towards the debt? Look t how much he owes and how much he pays towards the debt and you can at least guess how ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 14 February 2012: You asked whether or not she was using the men and the clear answer is no. You didn't ask whether we thought prostitution or mutual using is morally justifiable. I don't have a high opinion of prostitutes or the men who visit them, nor am I a fan of ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 14 February 2012: No, she was/is not using these men. These men want sex and they come to her for her services. They're getting sex from her and she in turn is getting off sleeping with powerful men, hence no using.
"But it cheapens sex and it cheapens words," ... (read in full...)
He's spending Valentines Day with his ex?!
Q. My partner has remained good friends with his ex of 10 years. This has always bugged me, but its something that he wants, they speak on a daily basis, either thru txt or phone calls, and catch up when time allows, as she works very long hours. Any ...
A. 14 February 2012: Frankly this sounds like a relationship that I would NEVER accept. You've been very kind if you ask me, or maybe you're afraid if you gave him an ultimatum that he would choose his ex over you? In either case, that relationship is inappropriate and ... (read in full...)
He makes no real effort
Q. So I've been seeing my ex, again! I always go back because I am honestly still crazy about him. This will be the second time trying again. Everything goes great for ages, lots of texting and calls. And then when we actually organise to meet up he ...
A. 14 February 2012: This guy, he tells me he "misses me" and "really likes me" but when it boils down to it he puts in no real effort and is extremely unreliable. It's the classic situation of he's just not that into you. You love him way more than he will ever lov... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to celebrate V day?
Q. is it weird that my boy friend isn't interested in celebrating on valentines ,,, you know go out ,,, he's like valentines is for kids ?by the way he's 23 ...
A. 14 February 2012: Yes, there are plenty of people that don't really care for V-Day. Considering you think it's weird that he doesn't, I take it that the V-Day celebration is important to you? If it is, let him know that you like to celebrate. Most men will celebrate ... (read in full...)
Am I insecure or is he fooling me?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend of two years is very nice. Hes kind to me but he knows i have issues with him having female friends (diff story-he cheated once before etc) . Hes very considerate about everyone so much so it kind of annoys me. Hes nice about ...
A. 14 February 2012: Yes, swimming with co-workers would be really awkward and unprofessional. I wouldn't want to see any co-workers in swim trunks or bikinis. It's not professional and it is NOT normal. I have yet to hear of a male-female co-worker relationship, where ... (read in full...)
My biological clock is ticking loudly, but after ten years he's still "not ready"
Q. I desperately need some advice and would love to hear from others who have been in my situation. I've been with my partner for 10 years. I love him with all my heart. He's sweet, kind, patient, extremely intelligent and I know he'll make a bri...
A. 14 February 2012: After 10 years of being in a relationship, he has not done anything to suggest he wants to take it to another level. If he didn't propose and you're not married, what makes you think he would undertake take the biggest step and responsibility ... (read in full...)
Huge family bombshell dropped..i don't know what to think!
Q. Hi, i'm 15, and when I was 13, my grandmother died of cancer. We found out a week before she died. She had a very, "i don't care. You wanna hurt me? You wanna kill me? I dare you." attitude. She was sometimes a bit cold, a bit mean to her daughter ...
A. 13 February 2012: You're age range is between 13-15, so the fact that you have a very narrow, limited outlook on cheating is very normal. Teenagers and adults in their early 20s are not very understanding when it comes to these things, I know I wasn't either. When I ... (read in full...)
Ideas needed please for my June wedding? I want to celebrate Irish and German culture at the wedding.
Q. I'm getting married in July and marrying a german man, im irish. In germany the wedding is 3 days and we are doing that but i have to bring irish and german culture together but It is difficult to plan it because we are from two different countr...
A. 8 February 2012: Well, since the wedding is taking place in Germany, you will instantly have the German factor. There will be German food, cake/pastries and architecture. I have lived in Germany for many years and have several relatives that live there. I have to ... (read in full...)
Sexual woes bode ill for my romantic life?
Q. I've got a question which might seem a little silly but nevertheless, it pertains to a matter of some importance for me. To give you the rundown, I'm someone who watches porn on a daily basis and I fear this might have had insidious consequences ...
A. 8 February 2012: First off, women aren't preoccupied with mens' sexual performances. It's a big deal to men, I understand, but unlike men, we really don't place much importance on it. Seriously. It's just like penis envy, or penis size concern - it's a male thing. E... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to marry him and move to Hawaii but my parents/college are stopping me from doing so
Q. Hey all, My boyfriend is in the Marines, we've been together for 2 years and we are very much in love. I've known him for 6 years prior to this, as he was my best friend in high school. He is stationed in Hawaii currently and I am in my junior ...
A. 8 February 2012: Say, you do move to Hawaii and drop out of college, what will you do? You don't have a degree and Hawaii is not exactly a great career move in terms of employment. Getting a job there will be very difficult as they don't have many job openings. Most ... (read in full...)
My 27 year old schoolmate is dating a 79 year old billionaire. Isn't this a sign of complete materialism? Or am I an idealistic idiot?
Q. I saw a question posted here the other day that got me thinking about a schoolmate of mine who is a lovely looking lass of 27, an aspiring actress, dating a 79-year-old billionaire. ok im not a complete moron i know that money makes the world ...
A. 7 February 2012: Yep, she has gold digger written all over herself. In the end, everyone is entitled to waste their time how they see it fit and she has chosen her path.... (read in full...)
Should I wait to see how long it takes for him to text me, or just go ahead and try to get something planned?
Q. A few weeks ago a guy I've been chatting with asked for my number. He texted me shortly after that but since then I always start the texting off and there's about 1-in-2 chance he'll reply (more likely to respond if I ask a question) He's not ...
A. 7 February 2012: He's not really that into his phone, it doesn't have a texting keyboard, and he likely pays for that stuff, so I'm pretty sure it just isn't his thing. Way to make excuses. When phones first came out, no one had a keyboard and people were text... (read in full...)
Am I brotherly figure or a love interest to her?
Q. I am 18 and have a crush on my 18 year old colleague. Trouble is, I am a really shy guy and don't know how to handle it. I am not sure whether she likes me or not, and would never make a move unless I was pretty sure. We did go on a night out o...
A. 7 February 2012: Dude, you KISSED and cuddled. Unless she kissed you on your forehead or cheek, she does not see you as her brother. Would you kiss your sister like that, or would you expect a girl to kiss her brother the way she kissed you? Quit being a little ... (read in full...)
What is it called when you think of someone obsessively but aren't sexually attracted to them
Q. I'd like to just ask a basic question that nobody I've asked could answer till now. Please read the lines carefully. It is: What is it called when you're obsessively curious about a member of the opposite sex? Like, you want to get to know them...
A. 7 February 2012: Obsession, or infatuation. You can very much so be infatuated with someone, who has many bad qualities. Every person has good and bad traits. Sometimes bad traits are still attractive, think of ego-maniacs, or players. ... (read in full...)
I like him but he likes her. How do I change this?
Q. The guy i like is dating someone else and i don't know if he likes me. How do i get him to want to be with me instead of her?...
A. 7 February 2012: What you want is impossible. Could he make you not like him and like one of his friend's that you're not interested in? No, right? Same goes for him. You can't make people feel things that they don't. He's with someone already and he wants her. Not ... (read in full...)
Would I be considered a ladies man?
Q. Do I sound like a ladies man to you at all? I'm 18, a senior in high school. I know perfectly how to treat a woman, if she was my girlfriend, would treat her like a queen, or like the best the women in the world. I never had a girlfriend before, but ...
A. 6 February 2012: You have never had a girlfriend, so no, you're not a ladies man. A ladies man is a charmer, who can get nearly any woman he wants - and he does. A ladies man is a synonymous to a player. Girls only want to be friends with you and they say you're ... (read in full...)
How do I make myself look older? People tell me I look about 17!
Q. Hi everyone this is not a relationship question didn't know where else to ask I'm 25 but everyone tells me I look about 17 I'm almost 26 I'm going out tomorrow night on a date and I have nothing to prove my age do you women know any tips to make ...
A. 3 February 2012: Do you have a baby face? If you do, there is not much you can do to make yourself look older face-wise. Baby faces like Leonardo DiCaprio's take some time to age. You can't age your face and your skin unless you want to get creative with face ... (read in full...)
2 months have passed and I've heard nothing, its over for good this time but how do I stop wanting to contact him?
Q. Hi, I really need some man advice, yes I know the same age old problems in most peoples like, the opposite sex... So I will try and keep this brief and I am also aware that I will get comments telling me how he told from start and I am deludin...
A. 3 February 2012: You're no longer entertaining. You've shown yourself to be desperate and someone he can walk over. Those traits are universally unattractive and it makes the other person loose respect and interest for you. He never wanted anything serious from you ... (read in full...)
Do all guys want serious relationships?
Q. Let me start off I am currently going through a divorce and dating for the first time in years. My husband and I met in college and were married for 3 years before the separation. When I first started dating my husband he was drawn to me righ...
A. 2 February 2012: Yes, there are plenty of men that will spin these kinds of lines to get you into bed. "You're the One." "You're so different/special." "I want something serious". The whole you're so great, I want to be with you - it's standard, classic BS. So some ... (read in full...)
I need motivation, how to lose weight?
Q. What are good weight loss exercises for over weight people? I physically can't do regular push ups so I'm trying to find new things I can do that will still work. I'm currently on weight watchers, but I feel I need more motivation... Any help would ...
A. 2 February 2012: I can't do push ups either! So what I can suggest is what I did: use some light weights instead, or do some wall pushups. To keep you motivated, print or save a picture of a woman as a body aspiration. Whenever you feel lazy, look at that picture, ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my mom's ex boyfriend from 23 years ago!
Q. I really need advice,I recently found my moms x from 23yrs ago when I was little he took such good care of me,then a few yrs ltr they went seperate ways,we tried to stay in contact,but failed,now after 20 yrs we are re-united,I have been really ...
A. 2 February 2012: There are some boundaries that should not be crossed and this is one of them. Sleeping with the same man that your mother had sex with and having a relationship with him is really creepy. He took care of you when you were little and this is where it ... (read in full...)
We have two children together. He's my fiance. Should I forgive him for kissing my younger sister?
Q. so my younger sister confessed to me that my fiance kissed her!! she seemed pretty upset and she didn't know how to tell me she said she pushed him away and told him that was wrong and was freaking out. he told me he didn't know what he was th...
A. 31 January 2012: I really wouldn't trust a word he said. If you have any questions as far as what actually happened, talk to your sister. It sounds as if he came onto her and she was pushing him away, telling him to stop. He's 20, and from what it sounds, forcing ... (read in full...)
Dating 3 months, no sex. Shall I leave?
Q. I need some imput. I have a new girlfriend and everything is good except for us not having sex yet. When we started to go out we both agreed that we were going to take things slow, and we have been to this point but Im a man that has needs and I ...
A. 31 January 2012: When we started to go out we both agreed that we were going to take things slow
"Taking it slow" in my book (and clearly in hers) doesn't mean having sex after 3 months. What did you expect when you heard "taking it slow"? 2-4 weeks? In either c... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 31 January 2012: First you didn't want her to loose weight, now you want her to drop weight? I am confused here. What exactly happened during this past month that has changed your mind here? How much weight could she have possibly gained in this small time frame ... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to invite this new woman out on Valentine's Day or should that be reserved for couples?
Q. Long story short, I've known this girl for about a month. In that time, we've seen each other nearly every weekend when we go out with our mutual friends. I get the vibe that she likes me, and I think I'm starting to reciprocate those feelings. ...
A. 31 January 2012: Why not? I don't think many women would think to themselves: Oh no, he's asked me out on V-Day! He's moving too fast! Most single people get jealous of couples on V-Day and hate on the day because they have no one. Ask her out and enjoy the day of ... (read in full...)
Wife Always Walks Ahead of Me...Far Ahead
Q. This is a puzzling thing for me. About 10 years into my marriage I noticed that my wife would immediately walk ahead of me when going places. She doesn't slow down, just keeps walking. She is not more attractive for a woman than I am for a man, ...
A. 30 January 2012: Put on your running shoes and start sprinting! :) I'm serious. Walk faster, jog if you have to, and see what she does or says when you're walking next to her. Or is it possible to persuade her to wear high heels, so it slows down her pace? If all ... (read in full...)
I think my guy is too caring!
Q. I love my boyfriend very much hes very sweet I mean he will do anything for me and I am probably being stupid but when we talk I will say to him when he goes home I miss him and he always talks about cwtching which I do enjoy but he never really ...
A. 30 January 2012: Just tell him what you want! What you're describing are minor issues. Sit him down and tell him that you feel more wanted as a woman if he did X, Y and X. You have a brain and a mouth, so use it to communicate. If you don't tell him what you need, ... (read in full...)
B/f says I'm controlling? Am I? He's lied and I have trust issues!
Q. My guy and I have been dating about 8 months and the last couple have been a bit intense with disagreements. I'm 38 and hes 45. We both have been married before and its just some things at his age I think he should know by now. If I don'...
A. 29 January 2012: After the divorce, wasn't your goal to be happy? If so, why are you with this man? You being controlling or not is not the problem. The real problem is: why are you still with this loser? He isn't contributing financially without being pushed to do ... (read in full...)
He wants sex, I want more, but I am too lonely to just walk!
Q. Hi, I met this asian guy...we were going out...dinner, dancing, movies..etc...he is younger almost 10 years...I realized..too late he only wants sex. Thats all. And I want more company...friendship. I told him we are looking for different things a...
A. 29 January 2012: "I am feeling I am loosing my selfsteem cuz the lonely...I dont really know what to do."
Wrong. You do know what to do. I mean, you said it right here: "I told him we are looking for different things and is better if we just dont talk/see each oth... (read in full...)
My husband has joined an online dating site
Q. My husband has joined a sex dating site. Should I be worried. Or is it harmless fun?? ...
A. 28 January 2012: You cannot honesty compute your husband joining a dating web-site as harmless fun. Harmless fun would be going to the strip club with his male buddies, playing some pranks, or lightly flirting with a few female friends. How many healthy, satisfied ... (read in full...)
Do people often settle for less when they marry?
Q. I haven't been on here in ages, but hey - I'm kinda tipsy and that's when I ask my questions best! So I'm meant to be getting married and meant to be really happy but heaps has gone wrong with that soooo... Do you guys think people sell themselves ...
A. 28 January 2012: Yes, many women do settle. They may say that they married the "man of their dreams", but that's the typical female BS. Women love to brag and exaggerate how perfect their partner is, or their kids, ect. It's all BS because no one ends up with ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fancy a woman who is 25 when your 44?
Q. Im from the usa and 44 im divored 10 years this march and always dated woman my age . I'm friends with this Irish woman at work and its strange because when i see this particular woman my heart pounds weirdly fast! This woman she is about 5...
A. 28 January 2012: Listen, it's OK for you to be attracted to her, but she is your coworker. There is nothing more awkward than having a coworker ask you out, especially if you don't reciprocate their interest. I was asked out by a 53 year old co-worker when I was 25. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being unhappy with the engagement ring?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend of 4 years and I just recently got engaged. I'm really happy and excited about it all, because I had been pushing the whole get married thing for so long. We shopped around for rings and at first I didn't care which one he'd...
A. 27 January 2012: What did he say after you told him the truth? Is he returning it and letting you pick out a ring that is at least a bit more suitable for you? Even if he doesn't have much money, he CAN afford gold. Sterling silver is an incredibly cheap, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got a lapdance at a strip club and now I am struggling to deal with this, am I just being silly?
Q. My boyfriend went to see strippers and has got a private lapdance on a number of occasions. Im finding it hard to deal with, I feel inadequate and dont feel comfortable having sex at the moment. I just feel he'l compare the way I look to the ...
A. 27 January 2012: There are plenty unattractive strippers, believe it or not. How attractive a stripper is shouldn't rattle your self-esteem though. There are so many beautiful women on this planet. Each day, another one gets added to the total. You cannot compete ... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 26 January 2012: "I have chills because you sound much like me and I've choosen to stay in my relationship but I'm telling you... RUN.... RUN NOW."... (read in full...)
My husband is against abortions but doesn't know I may be pregnant. Is it wrong to get an abortion and never tell him?
Q. How wrong would it be to have an abortion without my husband's knowledge? He is completely against abortion, but we have a 5 month old baby and I don't want anymore kids now. I misused my new birth control pills accidentally. He doesn't know that I ...
A. 26 January 2012: It's probably the most despicable thing you could do to someone. Keeping this type of a secret would guarantee a divorce if he found out. What you're suggesting is so manipulative and out of line there is no way he could ever forgive you and no one ... (read in full...)
I miss him but don't want to come across as clingy
Q. The guy i like a lot is definitely still in love with his ex. It was obvious, cause it was his status on facebook today. I'm worried about him, cause he gets pretty depressed when he thinks about her. Should i ask him if he is okay? But before y...
A. 26 January 2012: You need to look at this objectively.
1. He always called me when he started getting sad over his ex. But he had made up his mind then that she wasn't worth it.
So he calls you to talk about his ex? If he was interested in YOU, he wouldn't be t... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 20 December 2011: 1. No, you cannot do target weight loss. There is no such thing as losing fat in one area, but keeping fat in another. The fact that she is an overweight woman and she wants to lose a lot of weight - well, there is no telling how much weight she ... (read in full...)
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