A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What should i do with my boyfriend who my friends hate?! I have a boyfriend who my 8 best friends don't really like. They have heard numerous rumors about him cheating on me and texting girls weird things in the past 7 months that we have been dating but they are all just stories and no one really has any proof. I have talked to him about it all and i really trust him so i believe his side of the stories. I know what he is doing at all times because he has so much baseball, work, and working out. We spend a lot of time and almost every night together so its hard to believe my best friends. The only part thats hard to determine is him being away at school while im at a different one. I don't know who to believe or what to do...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): A quick peak @ chat logs will tell all. Believe me, I looked and couldn't believe what I saw. Be forewarned, what you find may break your heart. I couldn't read them all after reading a few different chats with various people. Follow your gut.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (28 August 2011):
 You're in love with this man therefore you do not see him objectively. If your 8 close friends care for your well-being and want to see you happy, and if they ALL dislike him, there is a problem. And that problem is not within your friends, but your boyfriend. How many rumors are there? If it's several, chances are there is truth to the rumors. I'm not saying it's a 100% true, but when more than one person says that he is texting and sleeping with women, I would be weary.You think because he has baseball, work, because he works out he cannot and spend most nights with you, he couldn't possibly do something. Wrong. Sending a text takes seconds, talking to women other women doesn't have to last long and you have sex in less than 5 minutes. There are men with wives and children, who work and drive their kids to activities that manage to squeeze in mistresses and affairs. Don't be too trusting and naive. I don't want you to be paranoid, but never be too sure of your man's innocence when you have those types of rumors flying around.
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A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 Well I tend to operate on the belief that innocent until proven guilty is the best and most just way to approach most issues. Taking that as the starting point, i'd say you don't have much to convict on. Your friends are biased because they don't like the guy and all they can give you is rumours, nothing concrete. People will tell you there is no smoke without fire but they are wrong, there often is.
I am sure your friends are partially only trying to look out for you, but they really have to have something more solid before they accuse or judge somebody. Seems to me they have leapt to judge this guy on the basis of what they have heard, not necessarily what is. Ultimately, you are the one he dates and therefore the one whose judgement matters highest of all in this.
Your friends should perhaps respect your judgement or at least do so until they have something more concrete to judge on, if they cant then I tend to feel that is their problem, not yours or his, harsh to say. All you can do is keep your wits about you, but until you know different you should trust this guy I would say. When he is at school, he will be at school, and you cant keep him under 24 hour surveillance, you have to have the confidence to let him spend time as well. Good luck :).
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