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*erhapsNot

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My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!

Q.   My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...

A.   31 January 2012: First you didn't want her to loose weight, now you want her to drop weight? I am confused here. What exactly happened during this past month that has changed your mind here? How much weight could she have possibly gained in this small time frame ... (read in full...)

Should I speak up & still walk away w/ my dignity?

Q.   Met him about 5mos ago thru my bro-n-law, started talking, hung out a couple weeks later and its been physical ever since. I've been open, telling him I like him, wanna get to know him better and he gave me his busy schedule excuse about 2mos ...

A.   20 January 2012: You're acting like an 18 year old over this lame text message. If "What's up Sweetie" makes you want to respond and entertain the thought of getting back in contact, then you're beyond help. I thought you said you learned your lesson? The fact that ... (read in full...)

There's an 8 year age difference, is that OK?

Q.   Hi agony aunts, i need some advice on what to do with this older man I have been seeing. He is 25 yrs old  (8 yr age gap, I'm 17) i have met him only a few times in the month and a half i have known him and other than that mostly keeping in touch ...

A.   9 January 2012: Celtic tiger summed it up perfectly. No offense to all the aunts who have suggested you take it slow, but that is terrible advice. If you spend any more time with him and take it slow, you'll just fall in love with him. You're already falling for ... (read in full...)

Why do most girls prefer to let hell freeze before speaking up and telling a guy they like them? Rejection isn't a good enough excuse.

Q.   Hello! My name is Scott and I have a question about women. "Why is it that most women would let hell freeze before they tell a guy they like them?" I'm pretty sick and tired of asking girls this and the only thing they can think of is not w...

A.   8 January 2012: I would NEVER ask a man out and this is why: I like the man to be confident, assertive and take charge. If they don't have the balls to express their interest up front, then they're NOT my TYPE. There is nothing attractive about a shy, whimpy m... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and he is threatening me!

Q.   Need some advice. Ive been with my partner 2 yrs I am now 22 wks pregnant with a baby girl. My partner never wanted the baby he demanded an abortion which I booked and.couldn't go through with. Made it clear he doesn't have to be here ive made the ...

A.   7 January 2012: Do you have family? If so, call them and tell them everything you have said on here. Tell them you need them to pick you up and leave this maniac.... (read in full...)

I want to finish breaking up with him but it is so difficult!

Q.   I find my boyfriend quite controlling and am trying to break up with him. Last weekend I went out with a girl friend and he was texting all night saying he missed me and then at 2:30 he phoned me when I was asleep, saying I should be with him and ...

A.   7 January 2012: If you really want it to stop, you would block his phone number, remove and block him on FB and viola! No more texts, phone calls, or FB messages. The beauty in technology these days is that you can individually BLOCK people you don't want to ... (read in full...)

She's with another guy now but I want her back!

Q.   Hey guys, please help me! I recently broke up with my gf of 5 years due to my gf was in love with some one else. The problem is she is now with this fella and has been for a while, yet she stopd at my house and we ended up makin love. (With out ...

A.   7 January 2012: She's your soul mate and you want to marry her? REALLY? You've painted a pretty little picture there, but you're forgetting the big picture. You DUMPED your little soul mate because she was/is in LOVE with ANOTHER MAN. Does that sound like a soul ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend keeps asking to slow things down says he cares about me but isn't in love with me

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 monthes things i thought were pretty good we live in different states but only 1 hour away.... we have been seeing each other every weekend i usually go around 7 friday night and stay until around 6 ...

A.   6 January 2012: I have been in a long distance relationship and continue to be in one, so I know what you're dealing with. What I can tell you is that you need to LISTEN to what he is saying to you. He told you he is not in love with you. He wants space and he ... (read in full...)

Do I try again with him? We talk daily. I have feelings for him. But I don't want to hurt him again.

Q.   So, I was in a relationship with this guy I loved, and suddenly I felt like I needed out and I couldn't mentally commit to a relationship. Since I broke up with him about 2 months ago I haven't stopped thinking about him. I still have feelings for ...

A.   6 January 2012: Ask yourself WHY you needed an out and why you couldn't commit yourself to him. What is it about him or this relationship that is not doing it for you? It's easy and normal to miss someone once they're gone. After all, you did spend a lot of time... (read in full...)

What is worse: His age difference or his lie?

Q.   My BF says he is 38, but i found out he is 45. And i'm 27. Should the lie or the big age difference bother me? Is it too much of a difference? We are planning to take the r/ship to the next level....

A.   6 January 2012: Clearly he thinks the age difference matters, or else he wouldn't be lying about it. If a person is deceitful when it comes to the most basic information about themselves, how can you expect them to be truthful about more touchy, uncomfortable ... (read in full...)

I am very financially responsible, my b/f isn't and his situation makes me very uneasy

Q.   I have been dating a guy for 2 months, we've known each other for 7 months prior to dating. The thing is he has a lot of financial problems. He was injured in an accident and was not able to work, hence the bills started mounting. He lost a ...

A.   5 January 2012: Leave. You have only been dating for 2 months, so you're not in a terrible position at this moment. It's not as if you have been with him for years, so it's an emotional investment you can overcome fairly easily, even if you do love him. Finances a... (read in full...)

Why is it that when men play around they are champs and women are called names???

Q.   I just want to know why is it when men play around with 3 or more women its ok. Hes looked up to as the CHAMP. BUT if a female plays around with 3 men or more. She gets called a "HOE" : "SLUT" : A "WHORE". JUST about every name in the book. why is ...

A.   5 January 2012: P.S. There are plenty of women, who do not like man whores either. I would be surprised if a grown woman would be thrilled to hear that her SO has slept with a shitload of women. The typical conclusions are: 1. They're more liable to be cheaters... (read in full...)

People tell me I am a great catch but I can't seem to get into a relationship! I hate being single!

Q.   I hate being single. There I said it. I would like to feel loved, and be part of a relationship, to share things with a special someone. At nearly 29 years old, I have been single for most of my adult life and it is really beginning to aff...

A.   5 January 2012: One more thing...You mention that you're starting to have low self-esteem because you're single. If you're trashing yourself in front of your date or come off as someone who thinks very little of yourself, your chances of getting a man decr... (read in full...)

People tell me I am a great catch but I can't seem to get into a relationship! I hate being single!

Q.   I hate being single. There I said it. I would like to feel loved, and be part of a relationship, to share things with a special someone. At nearly 29 years old, I have been single for most of my adult life and it is really beginning to aff...

A.   5 January 2012: There is not much to go on from your post, since it is not an introspective look at yourself. 1. What type of men did you go on a date with? Was it a good variety or did they generally fall into the same category? 2. Do you share too much informa... (read in full...)

Why do I feel like I am single when we are not together? When we are with each it's brilliant but where do these feelings come from?

Q.   Hi, I have been dating a guy for about 5months, we had the talk (I initiated) and now been together officially for a further 2 and a half months. It's been a slow progression getting to know eachother. Which I have liked. He took me away for ...

A.   4 January 2012: No, they don't change. My father is an emotionally inexpressive person and he has been the same ever since he was a little boy. Some women can deal with and some can't. If it's a deal breaker and something you cannot picture being with, now is the ... (read in full...)

I cooked a special dinner for my boyfriend but he spent the entire time on the phone with another girl! Am I right to be mad about this?

Q.   My boyfriend of one year is from another country and talks from time to time about foods he misses that aren't common here. Thinking I would surprise him, I went out of my way to make a dish he had been reminiscing about. Since I'd never tasted it ...

A.   4 January 2012: He doesn't love you, point blank. You're not over-reacting. In fact, you're not reacting the way a normal, self-respecting person would by leaving this douche. He is using you for his own needs and when he finds someone else, he will drop you like a ... (read in full...)

Why do I feel like I am single when we are not together? When we are with each it's brilliant but where do these feelings come from?

Q.   Hi, I have been dating a guy for about 5months, we had the talk (I initiated) and now been together officially for a further 2 and a half months. It's been a slow progression getting to know eachother. Which I have liked. He took me away for ...

A.   3 January 2012: It all boils down to this: are you willing to accept someone who is aloof, serious and emotionally inexpressive? Most women don't appreciate a stoic man. There is nothing fun, exciting, or reassuring about an emotionally dead and quite man. And ... (read in full...)

B/f cheated on me while I was pregnant. How do I let him know how very much he hurt me?

Q.   my boyfriend cheated on me while i was pregnant with our 3rd child with his friend sister. He paid her money for oral sex, he told me about it a week after it happened and it broke me up inside, he says he is sorry and has shown it but i need to let ...

A.   3 January 2012: Honey, he cheated on you while you were PREGNANT with HIS child. Do you honestly think he gives a rat's ass about your feelings? If you do, feel free to delude yourself some more. ... (read in full...)

I'm thinking I'm holding onto this girl in the hopes that when she loses weight, I'll already be the one dating her...is this a bad thought?

Q.   so ive been talking to this girl over msn and we have connected straight away. we like all the same stuff and we have been talking to each other basically all day everyday since we started talking vis texting and msn. we both like each other and w...

A.   3 January 2012: Yes, size 12 is quite large. I am not here to sugar-coat, nor am I here to tell you to feel guilty. The fact is, if you're not attracted to heavier women, you're not attracted to them. You may like her personality all you like, but if you're not ... (read in full...)

He doesn't call me by my real name. Is he flirting?

Q.   I'm not sure what to think of this, but my name is Beth and this guy i know calls me " Bethy " . Do you think he likes me or do you think he's just being friendly ? It does seem like flirting but i dont know lol. ...

A.   28 December 2011: I have nick names for most people and it means absolutely nothing sexual. If all he does is call you "Bethy" and there is nothing concrete to back it up, I'd say you're reading too much into it. Additionally, flirting in itself, means nothing. ... (read in full...)

How do I ask if she has a partner without being obvious?

Q.   I met an amazing girl a few weeks back. We have been exchanging a few emails. I might ask her out, but I don't know if she has a partner already. How can I ask her without being obvious?...

A.   28 December 2011: I agree with N91. You've known her a few weeks already, why not ask her out? Women like men to be more aggressive and show their interest directly. If you like her and you're interested in her, then ask her out! Waiting and pussy-footing around the ... (read in full...)

I used to date my sister in law...and I think we still want each other

Q.   hi i'm a married man with kids and don't see all my family until we all have a family get together at he weekends at my parents house, which is where i bump into my sister inlaw who was my ex girlfriend briefly at college but now shes married to my ...

A.   28 December 2011: Yes, you're reading too much into it. I love how "eye contact" is always blown waaaaay out of proportion by people, who are deluding themselves into thinking there is more to it. You're projecting your feelings and horniness onto her. Think abou... (read in full...)

Should I speak up & still walk away w/ my dignity?

Q.   Met him about 5mos ago thru my bro-n-law, started talking, hung out a couple weeks later and its been physical ever since. I've been open, telling him I like him, wanna get to know him better and he gave me his busy schedule excuse about 2mos ...

A.   28 December 2011: All he wants is a physical relationship. If you told him that you want to get to know him and he responds by giving you his busy schedule - well, what more is there to say? He is too busy to get to know you, but never too busy to for a sex session? ... (read in full...)

Two dates and he wants me to meet his family?

Q.   I've been on two dates with this guy, but now he wants me to go to his sister's house and visit her and his niece. Does anyone think it's too soon for me to be meeting members of his family ?. I haven't met any members of his family before , and ...

A.   28 December 2011: Too much too soon. If you're not in a serious, established relationship, there is no point in meeting any family members.... (read in full...)

I made out with an older man and don't know what to think

Q.   I am 17 and there is this older guy who i sometimes talk to as a friend, he must be in his late 30s/early 40s. I do admit that i have had a crush on him in the past and he knows that. Yesterday I was talking to him and as I was about to go he kissed ...

A.   27 December 2011: No offense, but this man sounds like a total creep. The age gap between you two is too great at the moment. Someone his age knows better than to kiss a 17 year old, who he knows has a crush on him. How does he kiss you on the cheek "as usual" but ... (read in full...)

I'm 19, he's 33 - can it work? Opinions please.

Q.   Hello, I am 19, and have only had one other relationship with a boy who was 21. He was a kind person and a good first boyfriend, but he didn't want anything serious and was more interested in going to the bars all night with his friends (somethi...

A.   26 December 2011: Put it this way, in this day and age, I have yet to meet a man that is 33, who is in a serious, stable relationship with a 19 year old. If you're good looking and receive a lot of attention from men, then what drew him to you are your looks and your ... (read in full...)

Can't help thinking she's settling for me....

Q.   I'm having real trouble working out if my gf is reAlly into me or not. We've being seeing each other for a year now but she seems to avoid sexual or intimate contact with me wherever possible. Usually she cites tiredness and has never said it's ...

A.   22 December 2011: You have sex once a week and you think she is not attracted to you? Please! Once a week seems pretty normal to me and to most women. It may not be what you're used to or what you want, but you either: a. Deal with the horror and dissatis... (read in full...)

Am I justified in feeling insulted by his behavior towards me over his 'present?' to me?

Q.   My boyfriend and I (relationship of 6yrs) dont do presents however today he bought a present for his son's Gf (live-in rent-free gf) a ok Body shop set n some loose items. In jest I asked if he had anything for me and he took one of the items .wra...

A.   22 December 2011: I would be insulted if I was in your situation. Then again, I don't understand why you have a no-gift policy. What's up with that? Is it just for Christmas, or in general? And whose idea was this?... (read in full...)

When you reach a certain age and want kids would you "settle" for a reasonable partner but it lacks that certain 'spark'?

Q.   A question for the ladies out there. When you reach a certain age and want kids do or would you "settle" for a reasonable partner that potentially would be a good father/provider but doesn't provide the excitement or spark or where there isn't quite ...

A.   22 December 2011: Yes, a lot of women will settle down with a man who gives them stability. Sex and sexual attraction is more important to men than it is to women in most cases. I am somewhat confused by your post though. How did you come to the conclusion that your... (read in full...)

She wants a child and I want to make her happy, but I don't feel ready! What should I do?

Q.   Hello dear cupid friends,i have a problem and need advice. Me and my wife will complete 5 years of marriage on july next year. There she'll be 29 years old, for this reason she wants a kid, it's her dream. I have 25 and will have 26 next year. The ...

A.   22 December 2011: You have chosen to marry a woman older than you. Consider this one of the backdrops, as most women want to have children when they're near 30. You're only 25 and not that interested in having a family (which is perfectly understandable for someone ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend needs a rather large loan. What to do? Help!

Q.   My 24 year old boyfriend took out a loan to get some repairs done on his car, without realizing that he would have to change his insurance to be eligible for the loan. Now he's paying double what he would pay for car insurance AND an extra $50 per ...

A.   22 December 2011: I find the interest part excessive to be honest. If I were to ever loan anyone money, I would NEVER expect that person to pay interest. To me that's just being shitty. I am a friend, not the freaking bank! Secondly, you're being put in a very unco... (read in full...)

I have tried to play hard to get, that did not work. I have tried a little of a direct approach. Not sure what to do anymore

Q.   A mutual crush developed between me and my boss at my last work place. However, nothing developed as we were working together. While I was there his body language towards me was a dead give away. It took a while for my feelings to start ...

A.   22 December 2011: You've been gone for a year. What makes you think he is single still? Maybe he didn't respond to your request at a meeting because he is or has been seeing someone. If he is not a shy type and he hasn't asked you out, he's just not interested. ... (read in full...)

Is beauty a blessing or a curse?

Q.   Do extremely attractive people have a more difficult time maintaining a relationship? With all their options and the multitudes drooling over them does it make it more difficult for beautiful people to stay in a relationship....

A.   21 December 2011: Now this is a fun question! Extremely beautiful people are the minority and if they don't have some twisted self-esteem issue, they know this. The way is plays out in the real world is the following: they know they have several men lined up at any ... (read in full...)

I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it

Q.   I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...

A.   20 December 2011: Her sexual history is technically none of your business. I can see why certain people feel the need to keep this a private matter and refuse to discuss it. Your wife had the option to tell you: "hey, I am not comfortable talking about my sexual ... (read in full...)

My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!

Q.   My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...

A.   20 December 2011: 1. No, you cannot do target weight loss. There is no such thing as losing fat in one area, but keeping fat in another. The fact that she is an overweight woman and she wants to lose a lot of weight - well, there is no telling how much weight she ... (read in full...)

I am due to fly out to see my bf but he has just dumped me! I am distraught!

Q.   Ok so its less than a week before Xmas. I am due to fly out to be with my boyfriend tomorrow (6 year relationship) and he has just told me, out the blue, that he doesn't feel the same way about me any more... and he told me by email. I am totally ...

A.   20 December 2011: There is nothing to save; I'm sure you're old and wise enough to know this. He no longer loves you and he wants you to let him go. There is no guess work here since he has literally spelled it out for you. You would be a complete fool to waste money ... (read in full...)

I'm insecure now because my boyfriend said I needed to "tone up" to go from being an 80 to 100!

Q.   I am obsessed with becoming thinner than I am. Although I know that the way I am made, it is impossible for me to be tall and thin, I want to be thinner. I am 130 pounds and 5'5 so my height places me at a disadvantage, but even though I'm very ...

A.   16 December 2011: I am 5'5 just like you. 90-100 pounds for that height is unhealthy and too skinny. You could go to 112-120 depending on the size of your body frame. If you have "cushion" that you would like to get rid of, I say go for it. You're young and now is t... (read in full...)

I have an eye infection and can't wear makeup. Should I not go out clubbing?

Q.   Honest question, i'm going out tomorrow but I can't wear eye makeup with an infection I have at the moment. I've never been clubbing without makeup and I worry guys will think I look ugly without it, I don't know whether to go out and just have a ...

A.   16 December 2011: How about this: if you really want to wear makeup, you still can do your foundation, contouring and highlighting your face, blush and instead of strong eye-makeup, you could do a great colorful lipstick! Red is always a classic, so with a nude eyes, ... (read in full...)

Is she a threat to our relationship? Why does she back out of plans if she knows I will be there too, with my boyfriend?

Q.   There is only one friend of my boyfriend's that I am a little iffy about, and it's a girl. He has other girl friends and I don't feel as threatened by them as I do by this one. She seems to always want to hang out with him but when he includes me in ...

A.   15 December 2011: Maybe she doesn't like talking or hanging out with other women? Chances are though, she just doesn't want to meet you because she likes your boyfriend. Ask yourself: does your boyfriend spend more time texting and talking to her than his other ... (read in full...)

What should I do? My bf is avoiding me after I found his profile on a dating site!

Q.   Hi My friend saw my bf's profile in dating site few days back and she told me about this yesterday. and i went and checked and saw his profile there, when i asked him about it, he said he's just checking what's out there. Now he has blocked...

A.   15 December 2011: You will feel insulted and cheated on for a while until you rebuild yourself. Since he has blocked you from his cell phone, it is best if you remove his number and never contact him again. He was "checking what's out there" while he was with you. ... (read in full...)

Do women want powerful, wealthy men more than considerate, nice guys?

Q.   I know nobody wants a wimp. But do all women prefer the self-absorbed jerk with power over the nice, middle class guy who is considerate of a woman's feelings? Is the law of the jungle and the law of human love really the same?...

A.   13 December 2011: Power is attractive - no doubt about it. Your problem lies in the fact that you're speaking in absolutes. Not all powerful men are asshats and not all middle class men are nice and considerate. Wealthy, powerful men are the MINORITY, while there are ... (read in full...)

We've gone from an open and trusting relationship to one where he is secretive and ends up screaming at me if I try to address it!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I am not the type to write something here, but I do not know where else to turn. To start, I never thought I would need to come here, i always thought we would be perfect. everyone around u...

A.   13 December 2011: How many times are you going to try talking to someone, who is not interested in making it work? ... (read in full...)

Someone sent my girlfriend flowers at her office on her birthday.

Q.   So my girlfriends bday was this pat friday and someone had delivered her over to her job a basket of Yellow roses with red tip, purple roses, yellow daisys and other flowers and a plush version of her favorite character. She initially thought that I ...

A.   13 December 2011: Women will sometimes get unwarranted gifts from secret admirers at work. It could be a co-worker, someone in the office building, an ex, or some creepo from her past that no one would even suspect. Your girlfriend cannot be held responsible because ... (read in full...)

We've gone from an open and trusting relationship to one where he is secretive and ends up screaming at me if I try to address it!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I am not the type to write something here, but I do not know where else to turn. To start, I never thought I would need to come here, i always thought we would be perfect. everyone around u...

A.   12 December 2011: First off, no one thinks that your relationship is perfect. There are good relationships, even great ones, but no perfect. Anyone that says their relationship is perfect is either delusional or likes to bullshit. Trust me, everyone that has moved ... (read in full...)

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