I miss him but don't want to come across as clingy
Q. The guy i like a lot is definitely still in love with his ex. It was obvious, cause it was his status on facebook today. I'm worried about him, cause he gets pretty depressed when he thinks about her. Should i ask him if he is okay? But before y...
A. 26 January 2012: You need to look at this objectively.
1. He always called me when he started getting sad over his ex. But he had made up his mind then that she wasn't worth it.
So he calls you to talk about his ex? If he was interested in YOU, he wouldn't be t... (read in full...)
One final meeting with the ex to talk things out?
Q. I was seeing this guy for a few months. Now that I think back, it was really unsatisfactory. I put up with a lot of crap and I was miserable but I put a good front. I mean, I was happy, but only when things seemed to be going great. So we ended it...
A. 25 January 2012: Nope, it's not a good idea. The funny thing about "talking things out" is that it won't have the end result you're looking for. You got cheated on and there is nothing that he can say, or that you can say, that will make the situation better. The ... (read in full...)
He flirts secretly with other women on Facebook. What should I do?
Q. my boyfriend is pretty much perfect. he always makes time for me. he trusts me. we never argue. he always tells me he loves me, and how he wants to one day get married and have a family. he always tells me he never speaks to other girls anymore, ...
A. 25 January 2012: It's time to give yourself a reality check and make yourself realize that your boyfriend is far from "pretty much perfect" - that he is in fact cheating on you. If you want to be with someone who is talking to a shitload of women online and setting ... (read in full...)
What should a teenager wear to a posh restaurant?
Q. Hey guys, I am to go out with a "friend" on saturday night for dinner and I don't know what to wear, basically. We're both 17 so it's not like I have a suit and I wouldn't really feel comfortable in a shirt/trousers. It is a posh restaurant and i...
A. 25 January 2012: Go on the restaurant's web site and check if they have a dress code. If it's not listed, call their number and ask. If it doesn't have a dress code, but it's still an upscale place, dress pants and a dress shirt are a safe bet. No need for a tie. If ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 25 January 2012: Flirting is perfectly fine and natural. Your problem is that you don't have a sense of boundaries. When you use the internet or phone, you feel bolder. Things get more graphic and inappropriate than it would in person. Let me ask you this: would you ... (read in full...)
I want more commitment and want to live with my B/f but he has no interest in it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. we love each other alot. I would really like to settle down soon and maybe think of having children. But I dont feel like we want the same things. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to move i...
A. 25 January 2012: I second the opinion of So Very Confused. I know it's hard to understand why men willingly stay with women, who they never intend to marry, but they do. He may love you to some extent, but if isn't willing to move in together or get married, it just ... (read in full...)
Should I choose my ex over my current?
Q. I don't think I'm over my ex.. About a year ago my friend, at the time, and I got together. Everything was perfect I was as happy as can be. Thing is he's 5years older than me and at the time I was 16. My parents didn't like the idea at all and this ...
A. 24 January 2012: He wants to try things out when/if I move back.
So, let's look at that logistically for a moment. Your dad moved, so by default, you moved with him. You're 6 hours away from your ex and the communication you've had with him have been via text. Wh... (read in full...)
I want more freedom
Q. I'm a straight A honors gifted student. In the 9th grade I am taking a college course already. My parents have always been strict, but I want them to know they can trust me more than they do and that I'm a really smart girl. Whenever I bring it up ...
A. 24 January 2012: If I had a daughter your age, I wouldn't want her to hang out late at night either, nor would I allow her to go out of town. You may not agree with this, but you're too young for that type of freedom. What you're suggesting is something more ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but is dating my friend, why??
Q. I am admitingly in love with my best friend, who I've known since I was twelve, so for about six years. He's told me he's loved me in a dating sort of manner for the last year or so, but he started dating one of my friends just a couple of weeks ...
A. 23 January 2012: He loves you, but doesn't want to date you or have you as a gf? That makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? You know why it doesn't? Because it's BS. He is playing you. If he had any real feelings for you, he'd be dating you instead of your friend.... (read in full...)
Do I tell my husband about this incident I had with an ex boyfriend?
Q. I don't know what to do. I cheated on my husband. I've only ever had sex with my husband, but I did have a boyfriend before him. We've been married for a few years now and everything is great. This ex-boyfriend contacted me on facebook, and I ...
A. 21 January 2012: I don't want to lie to my husband, but I also don't want to start a huge issue over something that didn't happen. Something that didn't happen? So because you didn't have sex with him, kissing your ex somehow now translates to nothing? You KIS... (read in full...)
What are girl's erect penis shape fantasies?
Q. I Always wonder what erect penis shape makes girls more horny when they look at it (upward , downward or straight) ? and why? what shape of erect penis(upward , downward or straight) do you girls imagine in your fantaces? PLEASE answ...
A. 20 January 2012: I guess you'll be disappointing to know that pretty much 99.9% of women don't get turned on by sight of a penis (erect or not. SUPRISE! I am glad you asked and now you know. Spread the word to all your guy friends as many are still clueless.... (read in full...)
Should I speak up & still walk away w/ my dignity?
Q. Met him about 5mos ago thru my bro-n-law, started talking, hung out a couple weeks later and its been physical ever since. I've been open, telling him I like him, wanna get to know him better and he gave me his busy schedule excuse about 2mos ...
A. 20 January 2012: You're acting like an 18 year old over this lame text message. If "What's up Sweetie" makes you want to respond and entertain the thought of getting back in contact, then you're beyond help. I thought you said you learned your lesson? The fact that ... (read in full...)
Are there women and men that think (like me) that oral sex is not romantic ?
Q. u can`t feel the emotional connection with ur lover , i know that it feels good but not that good to me i`d rather have sex i`m talking about a loving,tender relathionship not a one night stand u can`t look in their eyes and feel the connect...
A. 19 January 2012: Sex is as romantic as oral to me, lol. "Romantic" sex is really over-blown in the media. Honestly, it's plain boring to me. ... (read in full...)
Not being told the truth about the past. Am I expecting too much or thinking too much?
Q. We have been going out for about 10 months and we intend to have a future together and working on it. We are in our early thirties. We are at the dating stage, living separately, and intend to move in together when the time is right. I have a ...
A. 19 January 2012: If you ask someone something and they deliberately lie to your face - they're liars. Sure you can ponder why she told you lies, or make excuses like "it's her past and she is not comfortable discussing it". The fact of the matter is: a lie is a lie. ... (read in full...)
Why it is that I keep losing my head/cool whenever I like a guy?
Q. Dear People, I am a 24 year old woman and I have never been in a serious, committed relationship. My previous encounters with boys have been a result of unrequited feelings. One was a fling I guess you could call it and the other two couldn't wor...
A. 19 January 2012: You're weak. You lack a healthy dose of self-worth and confidence and this is why you behave the way you do. If you had confidence, you wouldn't be burying a part of who you are when you like someone, nor would you cater to men by changing your ... (read in full...)
I'm married and now my lover has got married I have lost my trust in her....what should I do?
Q. I am married and I have been in mutual relationship with a co worker for few years now. She recently got married and it was mutual decision that we shall continue working post her marriage and we both wont change our feelings for each other and ...
A. 18 January 2012: How can you be upset that she has an emotional and physical connection with her husband? What did you think would happen? Did you think they would just walk around like robots in their homes and sleep in separate rooms? Don't you have an emotional ... (read in full...)
How close is too close?
Q. Hi Advice sought on how to handle a prospective 13 year old step daughter. She came to stay with us for the school holidays (nearly 5 weeks). It has been one of the most stressful times for me as she seems to have set up some kind of competit...
A. 18 January 2012: You sound uptight and frankly, unreasonable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the amount of affection that her father is showing her. I grew up in Southern Europe and Germany and this type of affection would be seen as completely normal. I ... (read in full...)
I dyed my hair bright red, what do you think people think, when the see my hair?
Q. Hi. I am a teenager and like most teenagers I want to express myself. I dyed my hair bright red, and when I say bright red, I mean BRIGHT red; I love it! I am usually a shy and quiet person, and listen to my mother and teachers, im not a goody tw...
A. 18 January 2012: This is what I and most people my age would think bout it (I'm 27 by the way): "Ehh teenagers."... (read in full...)
How often does "no contact" work on the heart?
Q. We were together 15 months. We practically lived together for six months. We were good together, really understood each other, but our timing was off (he's younger and not sure of what he wants in life). I broke up with him because of his ...
A. 18 January 2012: He may contact you, he may not. In the end, it doesn't matter if he contacts you, or vice versa because it doesn't solve your problem. Unless he is on the same page with you, wants the same level of commitment and backs it up with actions, it ... (read in full...)
I just don't seem to be monogamous. Is this a problem that needs therapy or am I fine, with a different preference?
Q. So I'm 27 years old and I'm beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with me. I'm a lesbian by the way, just to get that out and open before I even really begin. I've watched as every single one of my close friends has met someone, settled...
A. 17 January 2012: I can only give you a few broad suggestions on why you feel this way, as I am not a shrink. 1. Maybe at the age of 27 you're simply not interested in settling down and having a serious relationship. Instead you prefer to do casual sex without any ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to make of my encounters with my brother's friend, who does have a girlfriend.
Q. Ok so for new years me and my siblings wnt out to a club,I'm 18 my brother is 20 and very protective.We met up with his old bestfreind from highschool.His freind was quite goodlooking and could'nt keep his eyes off me,my brother didn't take it that ...
A. 17 January 2012: He's in it for the sex. You want to know how I know? When he first saw you all grown up, he couldn't stop staring. He saw you grew a pair of boobs and all he was doing is touching you and feeling you up the day you met. If he cared for you as a ... (read in full...)
My bf wants a child with me! And I don't want that because he's so unstable..help!
Q. So, my boyfriend of 7 yrs is giving me an ultimatum of leaving me in March because he feels he doesn't have a "family" with me. Mind you he has a 13 yr old daughter and a 17 yr old son who he thinks might be his but he's not really raising either ...
A. 16 January 2012: I'm not sure why you're focused on his request for a child when you should be focusing on leaving this man. So it's OK to be with someone for 7 years and put up with infidelity and violence, but it's not OK if that person wants a kid with you? I ... (read in full...)
I thought we were rock solid, now I'm not so sure!
Q. Dear cupid, Ive been married 25 years. Raised three children. We have had our share of ups and downs but have stuck it out worked on things been happy. We had an incedent at christmas that left me feeling not very loved. Our daughter and I went to ...
A. 16 January 2012: Honestly, this doesn't sound like a big deal at all. You were an hour late and he got upset. He probably had a bad day or was in a pissy mood and chose to take it out on you. It's not like you two had some important event to attend and you being an ... (read in full...)
What can I do to forget about worrying?
Q. Hi. My bf cheated on me 2 yrs ago, some reason I forgave him and we're now perfect (have been going out for 3 years). My trust in him is nearly back fully, but I still feel a tad uneasy when he goes out with his friends (male). He's going out in the ...
A. 16 January 2012: You know, I don't understand when women say things like "We're now perfect" when it's clearly not the case. You don't trust him and consequently you're uneasy about him going out with the boys. If you were in a "perfect" relationship, you wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 16 January 2012: I am going to go against the grain here and say that your feelings are completely normal and reasonable. I'd be pissed off too if I married someone, who never shared something this huge and life-altering during a course of 5 years. If I shared ... (read in full...)
Four year age difference. is it too much? Do I go with it? I think she loves me already
Q. Is there anything wrong dating a girl 4 years older than you are. I am 22 and and this girl is 26 and i believe she does love me because anytime we are together she likes touching me,she'll like to rub her hands around my body. At times she'll t...
A. 16 January 2012: It's not much of an age difference now. The only negative that I can think of (and that I have seen as well) is that most women her age will want to get engaged and settle down. By 30, sometimes a bit earlier, they will want to start having ... (read in full...)
My son's wedding will be a disaster!
Q. My son is 37 and marrying a 28 year old woman. My son is getting married this summer and im not happy with the way his fiancees family and friends re-acted at the engagement party 2 weeks ago because im afraid they will ruin the day of the weddi...
A. 15 January 2012: This is what happens when parents or family pitch in for the wedding: they start to have more pull and say as to what goes on. Would you feel better if you didn't pay for it? I am curious, though....Your son is 37 and successful, so why are you ... (read in full...)
I've gained weight and loss myself confidence
Q. I feel I am loosing myself confidence, I use to be able to go outside wearing my pj's and no make-up, and now I wouldn't dare, at least not without feeling like crap. This is all because of my weight, I can't seem to get control of myself, I am the ...
A. 15 January 2012: Fork over some money and join a gym. If you don't like your weight, complaining and feelings depressed over it won't solve your issue. Hit the gym 2 or 3 times a week and see if you can lose the weight without adjusting your diet. It's much easier ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not want to kiss one's wife?
Q. Is it normal to feel like I don't want to kiss my wife? It just makes me feel gross and icky like kissing a sister. Sure, we did kiss once upon a time, but after 10 years together it creeps me out. She doesn't seem to miss it either. She neve...
A. 15 January 2012: I don't care for kissing myself, but I don't see myself enjoying kissing any future partner, nor do I see it as "gross" or compare it to kissing a sibling.
Is it just kissing that you have an issue with, or do you have problems with make-out sess... (read in full...)
If I tell my wife it's a turn on to see her in tight clothes, will she think I'm a deviant?
Q. It is a huge turn-on to see my wife in tight clothes - leggings and a tight t-shirt, or skinny jeans and I'm turned on more than if she were wearing lingere. I feel like it's so strange though, that I hint around it but have never come out and told ...
A. 15 January 2012: No, that's not deviant at all. I love tight clothes and I wish more women, who are in shape, would opt for it as well. Tight clothing looks the best and there is nothing wrong with you to want your girlfriend to wear more of it.... (read in full...)
What advise can I give my friend?
Q. Dear Cupid, my girlfriend has been in an relationship with a married man for ten yrs. now she's also married. 2wks ago they were out of town together in a hotel. The guy paid for the room with his credit card and his wife tracked the hotel and ...
A. 15 January 2012: She is old enough to know better; it's not like she is a naive 18 year old girl. She has had 10 years to figure out what to do about this situation and she has chosen to continue her grand affair. They both must really like this gig, or they ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her on a date? and how?
Q. There is woman about my age working in my local cafè I really like her and I think she is giving me signs smiles and waves when i come in and asks how I am and when in the Q she is not like that to the other customers the thing is though there is ...
A. 12 January 2012: If you don't want to ask her for her number discuss time availability face to face. If you're planning to take her out to eat, ask her for her favorite spot and take her there.
If you giver her your number, be prepared that she may never call you.... (read in full...)
Attached man, but on a dating website. Really?
Q. I have been dating a man for eight months. We live together and I feel we know each other quite well. He says he is very much in love with me. He's been divorced for more than 15 years and says he hasn't felt this way about another woman, since ...
A. 11 January 2012: If this were me, I would not discuss this with him immediately. If you bring up the fact that he has an account and you want to know why, he will most likely lie about it. I mean, how many men do you know that will make their true feelings and ... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand it's too late?
Q. I could use some advise if anyone has any "insight" or experience or wise words... I have an ex-boyfriend who doesn't seem to understand what's wrong with what he does... Short: We date 3 years. He's always been open about having a crush o...
A. 11 January 2012: I don't understand why you feel the need to make him understand. I think he understands alright. What is there to explain that you haven't explained already? You had your stipulation: he was to cease contact with this woman or else the relationship ... (read in full...)
Getting frustrated with his lack of proposal.....how long were you together before you got engaged? What is the average?
Q. I am rather depressed of late. I am 28, and I've been with my partner for three years, he's 26. It seems that everyone around me is getting either married, or engaged... But me. I am starting to feel left behind and frustrated with my partner's lack ...
A. 10 January 2012: Ask him if he sees marriage as part of his future - specifically if he sees himself marrying YOU. Ask him when he would ideally drop the question. If he doesn't want to give you a time frame, then insist. Don't let it just go, demand an answer. It's ... (read in full...)
Too many red flags here? Or should I have more patience?
Q. Ok, me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months now. It's still early days I know, but it's also a long enough period to see how the persons personality is etc. My boyfriend had a troubled childhood, his mum ran away aged 5 and his dad beat ...
A. 10 January 2012: You're bright enough to realize you're with a dysfunctional guy. I'm glad you're at least open-minded and rational enough to realize that this man is not someone who will offer you stability in life. Fact is, you have only known him for 6 months and ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her on a date? and how?
Q. There is woman about my age working in my local cafè I really like her and I think she is giving me signs smiles and waves when i come in and asks how I am and when in the Q she is not like that to the other customers the thing is though there is ...
A. 10 January 2012: Next time you enter the cafe, go directly to her location. Say your greeting and let her know that through the course of visiting the cafe, you have become interested in her and ask her if she would be interested to go on a date with you. Don't give ... (read in full...)
I'm a straight guy who's in love with a bi guy! How do I approach him?
Q. Hey there, I need help for a mind-torturing situation... I'm a straight guy who's in love with a man.I've known him for 10 years, we occasionally worked together, have friends in common, meet on a regular basis.Since the day we met I've felt a v...
A. 10 January 2012: Sorry, but straight men and women, don't want to shag the same sex. You may be bisexual or gay, but definitely not straight. You're a cliche case of repression. Very religious upbringing, making homophobic comments around people, who had the balls ... (read in full...)
I was never a bad Gf to him. So why has he betrayed me, left me for another? Devastated and I don't know what to do, help please?
Q. I never thought I would feel this way. My bf of a few years left me for someone else. I feel so betrayed and in so much pain. I've seen pictures and facebook post and they are so happy together. It devastates me because he didn't seem that happy ...
A. 10 January 2012: The bottom line is that he was with you when he was very young. People and their preferences change during the teenage years and early 20's (often times even later on in life). It has nothing to do with you, what you did or did not do in your ... (read in full...)
I like him but he's leaving! Do I tell him?
Q. I have this guy that I have known for like over three years. And he left for varsity, and the other night we saw each other like bumped into each other and kind of clicked. Anyway we exchanged number and 20 mins later he asked what I was doing the ...
A. 10 January 2012: Completely agree with Lexi. I''d just like to add this in addition to all the points she made: if you've known him for 3 years and he is just now asking you out (a few days before leaving) how interested do you really think he was in you?... (read in full...)
There's an 8 year age difference, is that OK?
Q. Hi agony aunts, i need some advice on what to do with this older man I have been seeing. He is 25 yrs old (8 yr age gap, I'm 17) i have met him only a few times in the month and a half i have known him and other than that mostly keeping in touch ...
A. 9 January 2012: Celtic tiger summed it up perfectly. No offense to all the aunts who have suggested you take it slow, but that is terrible advice. If you spend any more time with him and take it slow, you'll just fall in love with him. You're already falling for ... (read in full...)
Should I speak up & still walk away w/ my dignity?
Q. Met him about 5mos ago thru my bro-n-law, started talking, hung out a couple weeks later and its been physical ever since. I've been open, telling him I like him, wanna get to know him better and he gave me his busy schedule excuse about 2mos ...
A. 28 December 2011: All he wants is a physical relationship. If you told him that you want to get to know him and he responds by giving you his busy schedule - well, what more is there to say? He is too busy to get to know you, but never too busy to for a sex session? ... (read in full...)
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