Love my job, but! Married Boss is badgering me to have an affair. What's the best realistic thing to do in this situation?
Q. I have been at my job for about a 18 months. about 6 months ago, my married boss started badgering me for sex. I emphatically told him I wasnt interested because he had a wife. plus he is not my type-- although i couldnt say that to his face beca...
A. 8 October 2011: As some of the others have mentioned, document everything and save all texts, e-mails. Be specific in your communication; list what he is doing, how it bothers you and what you'd like him to change. How high-ranking is your boss? If he is CEO o... (read in full...)
Does my husband have a problem with me? or sex?
Q. Been married 12 years and sex has always been a problem almost from the beginning. When we were dating I had a higher sex drive and was frustrated about the quality and quantity of sex, although when I married him I reasoned that it would be easi...
A. 5 October 2011: You have a valid reason to be upset. It saddens me that you even question yourself in this situation. If your husband wants oral sex and does nothing to please you, it is a huge red flag. Was he always this selfish, or is this a new occurrences? ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'll never know how he feels!
Q. Earlier in the year I went to turkey with some friends,whilst I was there I had a brief romance with a Turkish man. I must stress that he is not the 'stereotypical Turkish man'. It was me who came on to him! He was so lovely to me and kind,I never ...
A. 5 October 2011: If someone likes you, they will make the time to get to know you. He made time for you when you were staying at his house every night, didn't he? So why won't he make time for you when it comes to the non-sexual department? Think of yourself for a ... (read in full...)
Is is wrong to date a 17 year old? I'm 26
Q. Hi there. So basically I've got 2 questions here. 1/ I'm 26 and there's this girl I like but she's 17, would you think there is anything wrong with that? If not then read question 2. 2/ I've been talking to her for a few months now, but have never ...
A. 5 October 2011: As someone who is 26 too, I don't understand what you're really seeing in her. Is it mainly appearance? Do you need someone who is less experienced and therefore easier to control? Those are my immediate two assumptions when I think of older me... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my online guy!
Q. i have been talking to this online guy for 7 months over phone everynight for hours. we laugh and joke and sometimes have phone sex. I know everything about his family, ex etc and he talks to me when sad. He told me he likes me alot . the last ...
A. 2 October 2011: You assume that the daily communication is an indicator of his deep love for you. Sadly this may not be the case at all. I have men who talk to me regularly, gushing their hearts out and telling me of their personal problems. Do they love me? No! ... (read in full...)
Am I being used for money, sex, and transportation or am I seriously being paranoid and over-reactive?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months. At first everything was great he announced us being together on Facebook and all that. But one day he suddenly set his status to single. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I ...
A. 2 October 2011: Let see, you're paying for food, you drive him around and you pay when you two go on a dates. Not only are you his financial pillar, but he now knows that's it's acceptable if he lies and hides things from you, says he is single and flirts with ... (read in full...)
I was sick, b/f assumed we broke up and now he's glad!
Q. Hi I was sick for the past 1 week, so i couldnt pick up my bf's call and didnt inform him also. Before that we had a fight since he insulted me in front of his friends. Yesterday i got well and returned his call (he called me thrice in this...
A. 2 October 2011: No one should be insulting their significant others in front of friends, family, or the public. It's completely disrespectful and causes embarrassment for the person in question. The fact that he did this ought to be a red flag. Does he disrespect ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and he's been with 25 people! I'm freaked out!
Q. I,m still a virgin and yet a guy i,ve been seeing has literally done it all and he's only 22! I asked him how many women had he slept with thinking it would only be 3 or 4 he told me its about 25 people including 3 ways and 4 ways and a ...
A. 2 October 2011: If your concern over his sexual history is strictly rooted in the fear that you won't measure up in the sex department, don't worry. He knows you're a virgin, right? If he does, he's not expecting anything that will blow his mind. He knows your ... (read in full...)
My g/f said I should hit the gym, does this mean she finds me unattractive?
Q. Hey there ive just got small question that im just having trouble figureing out in my head..Recently since around may of this year till now i have gained a few pounds not much but enough that you can tell. This morning my GF said to me that she ...
A. 2 October 2011: If you recently gained weight and she told you to hit the gym, it means she wants you to drop the extra pounds. It may not mean that she finds you unattractive, but she basically wants you to look as you did before. If she is telling you to work on ... (read in full...)
I'm angry that I was so kind to this man and he doesn't appreciate it!
Q. I ended my relationship with my boyfriend six wks ago because we wanted different things! He doesnt want anymore kids, he has one son from a previous relationship! Doesnt believe in marriage! And wont ever move from his house which is half hr away! ...
A. 2 October 2011: You should never put yourself in a position where you give too much. When you're doing everything for a man, they begin to see you as weak and they will take advantage of your generosity. If a man accepts financial help, or other extra help ... (read in full...)
Do I end it now or am I making a bigger deal of it than what it is?
Q. My boyfriend and I (and I use the boyfriend title VERY loosely since we're not officially boyfriend/girlfriend) have been together for 2 1/2 years. He moved in with me about 4 months ago because he had some financial problems. So far everything ...
A. 30 September 2011: 2 1/2 years and you're not "official"? You state that you love him, but the real question is, does he love you? Do you feel loved deep down? Does he ever say he loves you? I doubt it as he has a hard time committing to the idea of even being in a ... (read in full...)
Unexpected! I just don't want this....What can I do or say to get her to stay?
Q. Hey there everyone I need some help on my relationship. My GF and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. Everything has been going great we moved in together in April of this year and everything was perfect. But today she approched me after work and ...
A. 29 September 2011: It sounds like she has made some sacrifices to be with you and now she is realizing that maybe she should have been more selfish. Careers are very important. If she feels that your location is hindering her job prospects, she will always resent your ... (read in full...)
Ladies, which do you prefer - the cook or the dancer?
Q. Just out of curiosity to all the women out there, which do you prefer - a man who knows his way around the kitchen or a man who knows his way around the dance floor? And why? (I'm just taking a poll of sorts after an interesting discussion among...
A. 29 September 2011: Cook hands down. They're more useful, as you need to eat every day. If I could come home to delicious home-made dinners and some great cakes- why I'd be over the moon.
Male dancers are a rare commodity and something women find attractive. I woul... (read in full...)
B/f wants me to move to where he is and I can't do it!
Q. Dear Aunts, We just had a fight. My boyfriend got so furious seeing me talking to another guy on facebook. I wasn't doing anything wrong, and plus this guy is way younger than I am. So I defended myself and said that he should have put his tru...
A. 28 September 2011: You said you'd never move. Ask yourself, would you want to leave your family and your current location and trade all of that to be with him? You already said no. He doesn't want to move either because he doesn't have enough money. If he doesn't have... (read in full...)
Insane jealousy driving me crazy, please help!
Q. Hi. Does anyone have any help for me in how to deal with jealousy/insecurity? I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and we are about to move in togther. I know he is my one, I have never felt like this about anyone, I love him deeply. The thing ...
A. 27 September 2011: It has always been my personal conviction that women that love their men more are at greater risk of being cheated on, or they aren't treated as well as they should be. It would be to your advantage to find a man that worships the ground you walk ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling underappreciated in this relationship.
Q. My boyfriend of 1 year seems pretty blase about "us" until I look upset. It's very obvious how much I care for him. I just don't get the same enthusiasm about our relationship from him, that is, until I'm feeling so unappreciated that it is obvious ...
A. 26 September 2011: Fundamentally you're more into him than he is into you. There is no such thing as perfect equality; someone always does a bit more than the other, because fundamentally they have more emotions invested in the relationship than the other person, or ... (read in full...)
Will she ever want or like sex?
Q. Mainly want female answers. How normal is it for a girl to just not like any sexual things at all? My girlfriend says she hates the feeling of sex and anything to do with it, she is not a virgin (I am) but she just simply hates it, she has never ...
A. 25 September 2011: You should talk to her and ask her why she feels this way. It could be that she has had a sexually traumatizing experience in her life, like rape or sexual violence. Maybe previous sexual relationships left her with a negative impression, or she was ... (read in full...)
Retaliation sex, what's your opinion?
Q. Hi everyone. Just wanted to know what people thought about retaliation sex in a relationship. If you know your partner has cheated on you in the past, even if they minimized it saying they never penetrated the woman, is it ok to have the same typ...
A. 25 September 2011: I always found that situation interesting myself. From what I have read, only a few women felt better after retaliation sex. The majority didn't feel better and the resentment for their partners persisted. The only way to find out how you would ... (read in full...)
My wife has told me she is disappointed in the way I proposed to her
Q. Hi I proposed to my now-wife a year before we got married. When I asked her, she started to cry, but not because of joy. She said yes, when I repeated the question. Later I found out, that she is very disappointed by the way I asked. We now are marr...
A. 25 September 2011: Hey, I wasn't too happy with my proposal either. I'm sure much like your wife, I thought my man would come up with a creative and meaningful way to ask for my hand in marriage. When it didn't happened, I too was disappointed, especially since he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend took another girl to a hotel but swears he didn't cheat. What shall I do?
Q. sorry about this being so long ... i met my boyfriend at the age of 16 and weve been together ever since, weve had a lot of ups and downs and now i need advice. After been together 6 months, it was just a pritty average relationship then...
A. 25 September 2011: I don't know about you, but I have never heard of anyone catching up at a hotel, especially if it's opposite sex and they're alone. People catch up at cafes, restaurants or their homes, not hotels. I don't think you're stupid enough to actually ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship destined for doom, or can it be fixed?
Q. Well, I have been with my husband for 5 years, we have 2 amazing kids. In the past, I believe he has cheated on me several times, I could never get over it then though he hadn't admitted to it. I know in my heart he has, I had reliable sources. Any...
A. 25 September 2011: You cheated in hopes to even out the plain field, but it failed to give you a sense of peace. You stayed in the marriage for four years, yet you still hate him for his infidelity. 4 years is a long time to be unhappy and angry. It could be that you ... (read in full...)
He's 32 years older, and past the bedroom we don't have much in common. Do I break it off?
Q. hi, i am 18 and have fallen head over heels in love with a man that is 32 years older then me. I am in love but I also know the relationship is doomed as past the bedroom we don't have that much in common. We have been having sex for about a year ...
A. 24 September 2011: You don't have a relationship with the penis, but the person. If you have nothing in common, you have nothing aside from sex. When you go to college, you'll naturally separate even further, so you might as well call it a day.... (read in full...)
Sex vs. emotional support.. Which one is more important?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a very terrible sex life. He also is not emotionally supportive and badgers me about how the sex is so bad/little. I tell him it is because I don't feel loved or have emotional support. He says that he will not emotionally ...
A. 24 September 2011: Woah! One word comes to mind: DOUCHEBAG. If I were you, I'd run for the hills. You don't need a man with a quid pro quo mindset. If he doesn't want to put in the effort to get sex from you by establishing a better emotional connection, what more is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend proposed...but went looking for a second-hand ring!
Q. So my boyfriend proposed to me the other day. All was going well until he started searching for an engagement ring. We were talking on the phone and he said "Here's one I think you'll like" and sent me a picture of the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. ...
A. 22 September 2011: If he is cheap, I say run for the hills. Only cheap people can truly live happily together. If you're generous and he is cheap, you will always resent him for it. You will always envy women with generous partners while casting your critical, ... (read in full...)
Three weeks into the relationship. What present would not "spook" seeing as it's early days?
Q. Hi All, A quick question something I haven't come across before early on in the dating process. I have been dating a girl for 3 weeks, we met online and chatted on the phone etc for about a month before this. We have since had 4 /5 dates. It's her ...
A. 22 September 2011: I have yet to hear a woman complain about a gift that "comes across strong". :) The only ones that complain are women who aren't fortunate enough to have generous partners. Honestly, cards, flowers and chocolates show that you haven't put much tho... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married boss to keep my job and now I feel sick!
Q. I think i have just had sex with my boss to save my job. Ive always known hes fancied from since i started. but at the start of the year he told us that out of 3 of us 1 of us would get sacked. its just an office job but its a job so i decided ...
A. 20 September 2011: As many already mentioned, you ought to look for another job ASAP. Most likely he will expect sexual favors at his whim. The only thing I can suggest to you is to have real evidence if you go to the HR or if you need to turn the tables on him. ... (read in full...)
How do I let go of the bitterness towards my husband's affair?
Q. My husband of 6 years told me 2 years ago that he never loved me,this is when i discovered he was having an affair. he said so many times that i forced myself on him. Somehow we got out of the situation, but he never apologised to me. I am still ...
A. 18 September 2011: Some people can forgive infidelity when confronted with it and some cannot. You may fall in the latter camp and there is nothing you can do, short of divorce. You claim "things seem ok between us" but how can your marriage be OK if you're still ... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with this married man?
Q. I have a serious question that I know will ruffle A LOT of feathers but I'm sorry, I really need advice, I've been seeing a married man for a while and were very close, best friends more than lovers. Recently I have been getting urges to have a ...
A. 18 September 2011: I completely agree with maverick. One thing I'd like to add is that taking care of children involves a lot of hard work and co-parenting. While you may really want a child, you need to remind yourself that this man will be a part-time father... (read in full...)
I've been cheated on twice and now both my ex boyfriends want me back!
Q. i recently broke up with my long-time boyfriend of 20yrs because of the fact he was cheating on me. I then met another guy and we have been dating for 1yr now. I broke up with him within the last 2wks because i felt that there was someone else. It ...
A. 18 September 2011: The last thing you need in your life is a former cheater. You were smart and strong enough to break up with them the first time, so don't even entertain the idea of taking either one of them back. I know it's disappointing to have had 2 cheaters in ... (read in full...)
Is this happily married woman looking to have an affair with me?
Q. I am a divorced man and met a married woman through ballroom dancing. She was my partner for a recent dance competition, during which I found myself drawn to her. She enjoys dancing with me, is flirty with me. We do a lot of hugging and holding each ...
A. 18 September 2011: When someone TELLS you they're happily married and request you to "keep your feelings in check" then there is nothing to ponder. Maybe you should interpret that moment rather than finding "hidden" meanings in bland things.
You're dance partners and ... (read in full...)
This morning I found a stash of ex's dirty panties in my boyfriend's dresser!
Q. Please help.My boyfriend and I have been dating exclusively for 7 months and are talking about building a life together. This morning I found a stash of exes dirty panties in his drawer next to our bed. What should I do?...
A. 18 September 2011: If you're uncomfortable breaching the topic with him, present it first objectively. Tell him that keeping dirty panties so close to your own clothing disgusts you and that you find it unsanitary. Then you can ask him why he would keep it as a ... (read in full...)
He has totally voided me out his life. What is my boyfriend's problem?
Q. Hello everyone I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much as well as he loves me. These past couple of weeks have been stressful and confusings. We actually broke up because of the lack of attention I was receiving from h...
A. 12 September 2011: He has checked out of the relationship. When your partner doesn't listen, pay attention to you and avoids communication, it simply means he is no longer interested in you. My recommendation would have been to tell him how you feel, but you have ... (read in full...)
I worry the age difference might be too much.
Q. So a couple months ago I met this guy at the gym and we see eachother there a lot and just say hi and eventually he added me on facebook. About 3 weeks ago, we had a conversation and exchanged numbers. Since then we've talked almost everynight on ...
A. 12 September 2011: I am 26 and I would never date teenagers as we don't have anything in common. Just wait until you turn 24. Not only will you realize how much your opinions and your responsibilities will chanGe, but when you're that old, I can guarantee that you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend promised tattoo so I'd forgive him for cheating then went back on his word
Q. 2 weeks ago I split up with my boyfriend of 4 years for cheating. He begged foregivness for days none stop, txting, calling, emailing, stopping by the house, said he'd do anything and eventually came up with the idea of getting a tattoo of my name ...
A. 12 September 2011: I am not sure how getting a tattoo would help you regain your trust in him. Did you honestly think having your name on his body would deter him or other women from having sex? Tattoo or no tattoo, it wouldn't have changed anything. It takes more ... (read in full...)
After she gave birth she is not tight like before! What can I do?
Q. Hello all cupid users Can you please help, since she gave birth sex is not like before. Her vaginal wetness is not the same. its dry. And how can I get the vaginal tightness she had before? Thanks...
A. 10 September 2011: How long has it been since she gave birth? That plays a big factor. Most women tighten up several months after pregnancy and some may take longer. Kegel exercises are always an option, but if I were you, I wouldn't mention this to her. She is ... (read in full...)
I want, need, to be more confident. But how?
Q. Hi, I would like to be more confident around my girlfriend. I always feel so needy around her and i always seem to initiate things from emotional comfort and for sex. Could anyone give me tips on how to be more confident? Thank you...
A. 10 September 2011: It all depends on what you feel insecure about. If it's your physical appearance, I always suggest hitting the gym. It's amazing what a bit of muscle definition does for a man's self esteem. Get a new haircut, or some swankier clothes. When you look ... (read in full...)
Guys: Why would you give a woman your number if you have no intention of answering her calls?
Q. Men why give women your phone number if you know that you are not going to answer for her? thats crazy...
A. 8 September 2011: It's the same reason why women give out numbers to men: avoiding being rude. Most people are uncomfortable rejecting a stranger, even someone we know. Rejection is not fun; we have all experienced it, so we try to be a bit gentler. It's not the best ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him about the texts I found on his phone?
Q. please can you help me, i checked my partner of 2 years phone and found a lot of girls numbers and some very sexy texts, which he has replied to, i am heartbroken ,how can cofront him when i had to put his pin number in to get in his phone ,i feel ...
A. 8 September 2011: "why would he need to text these women when he made me believe he truly loved, why am i not enough for him."
He may love you (even though it's doubtful), but he doesn't love you enough to be only with you. He doesn't love you enough to be committe... (read in full...)
The difference between someone using you for sex or just having huge sex drive?
Q. If you're seeing a man and he seems very focused on sex, is that always a bad thing? I'm seeing someone, we haven't slept together yet, but he does seem to bring the conversation around to it a lot. That said, he has told me he isn't going to b...
A. 8 September 2011: If he doesn't try to find out more about you as a PERSON, he only cares about sex. So ask yourself: what does he do to know more about you? Does he care about what you say? Is he talking more about sex and hinting at sexual things than asking you ... (read in full...)
She likes, would date me....BUT she still wants to have sex with other people!!!
Q. Ok, this is a WEIRD one. But maybe you guys can help. See, I know this girl who is sort of promiscuous. Yet she's hott. And sweet. And so we been out a bit. Never slept together or anything because believe it or not, I dont think people should do...
A. 8 September 2011: You clearly are uncomfortable with the open-relationship concept; most people are. We are by nature possessive of our partners and do not want to share them, especially romantically and sexually. If you cannot see yourself sharing this woman with ... (read in full...)
My husband insists nothing happened between him and his female friend, but I know he's lying
Q. Sorry for the length, needed to vent. I have been with my partner 9 years. He has a job that means he is away from home at least 1 night a week, but usually more. Late last year I became aware of a woman he had befriended (he felt sorry for her b...
A. 8 September 2011: Having this information and keeping it to yourself is clearly doing your mind and soul a lot of damage. Why should you be the silent martyr in all of this? Keeping HIS betrayal a secret for his benefit and the benefit of keeping the marriage ... (read in full...)
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