| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have a very terrible sex life. He also is not emotionally supportive and badgers me about how the sex is so bad/little. I tell him it is because I don't feel loved or have emotional support. He says that he will not emotionally support me until I support him sexually (i.e., give him good sex). Is this fair?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): So, why are you two together?
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 So each of you is holding what the other one wants hostage to your own demands...
I don't think this relationship stands much of a chance of working out, but if you really, really want to make the attempt, why not both give each other what you want all at once?
Tell him you want to try just making it work. For instance, promise him he'll get laid one night, then ask him to go for a walk with you and just listen while you talk about what's bothering you. I'll bet that part of why he doesn't offer emotional support is because, like most guys, he sees a problem and thinks he has to solve it, and doesn't understand that what you really want is just someone to listen to you for a while without offering any solutions. Go for a walk, talk about your problems, thank him for the time and effort, give him a big hug and kiss, then meet up again later that night for a few drinks and a screw. Resolve after that, together, to put in the effort to meet each others needs as they arise, without worrying about "What have you done for me lately?"
If the problem persists after that, break up.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (24 September 2011):
 Woah! One word comes to mind: DOUCHEBAG. If I were you, I'd run for the hills. You don't need a man with a quid pro quo mindset. If he doesn't want to put in the effort to get sex from you by establishing a better emotional connection, what more is there to say? He doesn't care about you and what makes you feel better - he just wants his fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): no your bf has it backwards. He's being manipulative. he's choosing to with hold emotional support so he's emotionally blackmailing you. you on the other hand, are not emotionally blackmailing him by choosing to be with holding good sex, it's just a reflection of what you're capable of under these conditions.
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