A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a petite asian in my early 20's and I have no boobs (32 a cup :( ) nor an ass. I have been suffering from depression lately because of all the insecurities that eat up at me. I am so depressed that I can't sleep at night and I have become anti social from my insecurities and I just want to stop or get over it. I am sick and tired of crying over and obsessing over my thin frame and it is getting in the way of living a normal life.I got my insecurities from friends and family, and especially my exes or crushes who obsess over voluptuous and curvy women. For instance, my exes would show me pics of women who have big asses and nice bodies and exclaim how they would wanna do her etc. and after years of hearing so much I've just been conditioned to find myself inadequate and not good enough for anyone.I am really sick of hearing how I am not a woman because I lack large boobs and an ass, and I'm sick of being called a small teenage girl who is just "unfucakble" It is hard for me to keep a boyfriend because usually everything starts out fine when they get attracted to my personality, but in the long run they end up getting bored with my body and start to seek out bustier women which pretty much ends he relationship with cheating or bad porn habits. All I want is someone to love my body but its so damn impossible to find anyone like that because its supposedly taboo and gay to be with someone who has an unfeminine body.I tried to be sexy and confident in my own body like lingerie etc. but people would only say it looks like child porn or that it does not suit me at all because I'm too thin and I just don't "fill the spaces in"How does a thin boobless/assless woman live a life in our society?It's hard for me to even ignore it at times because every day someone has to comment how skinny I am or if I become antisocial and not associate with people at all, the media does the work by thin shaming or praising the lucky well endowed goddesses of our society, and it only makes me feel more like shit. What can I do? Are people of my kind just considered creatures who are inevitably alone forever?That I'm nothing but pedophile bait? I try to find people online who at least would love my body type but even then it is very difficult because everyone favors the same generic traits of curvy women. And how do people who are in similar positions like me live through this at all? I reckon either ignorance or being blind because it's pretty plain and simple that we aren't even attractive at all in these times. So any piece of wisdom to share about this matter?
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boobs, crush, depressed, my ex, petite, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): Oh my gosh no homo but you sound beautiful! Hundreds of girls would live to have a body like you. In fact I don't get jealous of girls but I work with a small skinny asian girl who is so cute and beautiful and all the guys like her! If anyone makes a comment about your body they are probably jealous. Watch confidence building videos on YouTube and perhaps even wear a little makeup and style your hair nice to feel good about yourself. Also men always seem to like what they can't have.... i bet hundreds if guys find you attractive. Hold your head high hunnie :)
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 December 2014):
Are you kidding me? Do you have ANY idea how many men love petite, young Asian women? Your body type is just as much of an ideal as big busted blondes. Yes, different men are attracted to different body types, and yours happens to be one that is highly desired by many.
Knowing that, it is important going forward to find someone that loves you for who you are, and not just for your body type.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): Hun, believe me you are so much closer to the pornified ideal that most men are jerking off too than I am
. I'm a 40 year old plump woman who see that every man she has been involved with had been Using porn with very thin Asian woman , most very small busts and hips .
Just realise men are NEVER satisfied . Any average woman , unless she looks like a porn star will never be enough for them... And even if she did, she would hold there attention for a very short time because men have conditioned themselves to want an endless variety if young perfect bodies .
If you suddenly felt better now how would you feel after you age a bit it have kids and things start to sag ? You can never meet their criteria . They make it impossible . It's a power thing !
All you can do as a woman in today's society is take you own personal power and start not to care. Worry about how you feel, not them. The minute they make you feel bad ( and they will , whether through direct words or ogling women who fit their mould whilst ignoring you) move on
Serial monogamy is the only way for women today , men have nothing to offer us in terms if feeling valued it beautiful or special because average women simply are not special to them anymore
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): I don't even know what you are talking about!!. This society loves girls that look like boys. Where do you think anorexia appeared? From pressure of being thin...like you!! I was always very curvy. Even when I was a Teen i had C size cup, and I was a healthy 130lb at 5.4. All I heard is that I was overweight and need to lose 15 lb. my skinny girlfriends attracted much more attention than me. Now 20 years later I am at 140lb, my boobs now are D size, and yes, men seem to appreciate it which I honestly I couldn't care less, but when I was a teen my curves didn't attract much attention. Your exes sound like assholes, but not every man is like this. Keep looking, don't give up. There plenty men out there who will love your body for what it is
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): You should never put yourself down like this. This was heartbreaking to read as I've gone through the same feelings. You are beautiful. Women come in all shapes and sizes, I guarantee some curvy women out there would look at you and envy your figure too. All men have different opinions of women's bodies. Yes men love curves, (maybe in a women they would like to have sex with) but men also love petite women. I stand next to some of my colleagues especially and completely envy them, even though I know that they envy me too.I find there is a lot of hate for being thin now, women who are chubbier are praised and it's not right. Everyone is born differently and they are no less of a woman for it. I am 4ft 9, quite petite too and my partner loves my body mainly because of being petite. He finds petite women cute, delicate and perfect to cuddle up to. There are men out there who look for more than just looks too, personality, intelligence, humour etc. My advice to you would be what I did, stop caring! I got to a point where I became extremely confident. I started to research figure flattering clothes, invested in some tighter clothes, I was surprised at my figure, I wear a lot of tailored pencil dresses and blazers button up, this combination makes you look very curvy and stands out! (Or if not , blazer, tight jeans and heels/boots) . I try to kept it classy and modest though, men love modesty (boys love sluttiness). Smile, act confident (even if it's difficult) . I wear heels a lot too, it helps me walk tall. However I shouldn't be ashamed of my height... When it comes to lingerie, go for the baby dolls or camis, or lingerie with a suspender belt and stockings, this will make you look curvier. I find black lingerie most flattering. Invest in push up bras or padded bras :)There will always be people who make fun of you calling you a child and (I had one at work where a man told me I look about 12) best thing to do is shrug it off. Who's going to feel better at 40. Me , who looks youthful....or that man who looks 20 years older! :-p as for peadophile bait, make sure they know you're a women who doesn't take kindly to those sort of insults! People often think they can walk all over petite women, show them that your small on the outside but fiery on the inside!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): Well you are EXACTLY the physical type and nationality that my ex lusted after all the time he was with me (big boobs, fairly curvy bottom), so yes! LOVE YOURSELF - there will always be someone who finds you attractive. I bet you are gorgeous!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 December 2014):
 I am of the opinion that big boobs and ass are HIGHLY over-rated...You my friend have something that millions of women would die for that are far more aluring than a mass of body parts. Asian women have the best skn tone on the planet and the sexyest eyes. If you lk closely at women that "have work done" they nearly all have their eyes pulled up o accentuate the cheekbones. f decades ago asian women went "under the knife" to round out the eyes but now it has come full circle. You now posess what millions of men desire in phtsical atributes; a slim body and sey eyes with smooth skin than transends the beauty product scene. You are actually VERY fortunate and NOT in a bad place. Good Luck with thatself-confidence.
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