A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am a 24 year old female and I'm currently in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We started going out in March this year and everything was perfect( I thought). And we broke up 4 months later cause he didn't trust me. We got together in mid- October.We never used protection before, i did ask him about it the first time and he said he doesn't have condoms. But the next time we will use one, but that never happened. And it didn't bother me that much.Now the problem is I don't feel it the way I used to before because he wants us to use condoms everytime. I kept on asking him what the problem is because I can't stay in a relationship knowing that I don't feel a thing anymore. Then he confessed last week that the reason he wants use to continue using protection is because he doesn't trust the guy I was with after we broke up. Saying all nasty things about him and all the woman he dated before me. And that he never trusted me in the first place and he doesn't even whether im clean or way. So we decided to go and have ourselves tested . Mean time while we where waiting for the results, he kept on asking me questions like if the test comes back positive and im negative am I gonna live him. I told him if ever the test comes back positive, I won't dump him because I love him so much and he will need some support. And I asked him the same questions and he told me in my face that he will Never date a HIV Positive female knowing that his clean. It was barely a couple of minutes and he said " if they come back negative then it means HIV does not exists anymore. Because in this 3 months he was slept with a lot of girls and some of them he had unprotected sex. He also confessed that I am not the only one he has 6 girlfriends excluding me.The test came back and indeed he is HIV + and I tested HIV -. I kept my promise to him of not leaving him because I love him and he needs all the support he could get. Last night we were in bed chatting and our chat led to something else. We started playing with eachother until both of us we aroused. I couldn't let him go and get a condom, i just wanted to have him and feel him without the condom for the last time and i forced him to do put it in. We were starting to enjoy it and then my mind clicked, he didn't hesitated he got off and got a condom then we Continued. AFter that my private part started to itch and when i pee it was a burning feeling. He didn't cum on me but im not sure about the pre-cum. Could i have transmitted the virus by that?I know it was careless of me, really don't know what got onto meplease helpMiserable and scared
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 December 2014):
 You most probably have a urinary tract infection because it's very common to get when you have unprotected sex with a new partner. Even if you have had sex with him before, it's been such a long time. The bacterial culture is different from person to person, and some times, when two bacteria cultures meet, as they do during sex, it can cause urinary tract infection in women. Always rinse well before sex (the man needs to rinse his penis), and you should always pee after sex to clean away the bacteria.
Go to your doctor and get your urine tested for urinary tract infection.
As for HIV, yes you could get it just from that. But, it doesn't show on tests until at least two weeks, and the symptoms are similar to having a cold/the flu. So, it doesn't sound to me like the symptoms of HIV, but of urinary tract infection.
However I do recommend you get tested for HIV now too, and continue to use condoms from now on. What support are you to him, if you also get infected? He would leave you if you get HIV, he told you that as well.... You could also pass it on to future children, so do think about your health long term, and not just think about the pleasures of the moment. And if your relationship with him fails, think about how sex will be with a new boyfriend, if you have HIV... You will have to use condoms at all times then too. It is much better for you and everyone involved, if you stay healthy.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (26 December 2014):
 You did this because....nothing says "I love you" quite like HIV??
You did this because...you wanted the gift that keeps on giving??
You did this because...you were serious about the last time being the last time with anyone??
The guy doesn't feel about you the way you feel about you. He is having sex with anything with two legs. I don't even know how to advise you because I don't get the thought process. What's there to need or love? You couldn't "feel" him? If you needed sensations so much, you could masturbate, and it's 100% safe!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2014): Contracting HIV doesn't give you symptoms of what you described. you probably have UTI.
The fact that you tested negative for HIV doesn't mean you don't have it. test again in 3 months, then 6 months.
The probability of him infecting you is high. you both have promiscuous life style. him more than you . He sleeps around with many girls at the same time. you have boyfriends in between. You live in the area w?very high HIV rate, the risk of you contracting it is very high. use condoms at all times in a future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2014): You should go to your doctor immediately or to the clinic where you were tested and take a cocktail which can prevent the hiv virus from taking hold within 72 hours of contact. The hiv virus is treatable now but it is a miserable life, you have to take numerous drugs which cause horrible side effects and you will have a weakened immune system for the rest of your life anyway which means you have to be very cautious -any illness can seriously compromise your health.
You're actions are really crazy, and this man is crazy, no matter how much you think you love someone, you should never compromise your health for them this way.
I agree, he knew he had hiv and people have been held criminally liable for knowingly transmitted the virus to others. There is no reason to love this man, get him out of your life immediately for good.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (25 December 2014):
What the hell are you thinking?? 40 % of adults in south africa, where you are, are HIV+ and you are messing about with someone who you know has this incurable disease. What are you doing? STAY AWAY from him and please educate yourself about HIV
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 December 2014):
 Dearest girl!
WHAT are you thinking?
HE has MOST likely contracted HIV from his MANY sexual encounters. HIM blaming you is RIDICULOUS! But I guess it's EASY for him to do because you are EATING out of his hand.
HE has 6 GF and you Promised" to stay with him? Are you nuts?
AND for goodness sake STOP having unprotected sex with him, that PROVES nothing that you are willing to do so (other then you are quite ignorant and easy to manipulate) If this guy tells you the world is flat, my bet is you will suck that up and start to be certain that it is indeed flat.
YOU seem to think you have to PROVE yourself to this skanky dude. WHY?
And you also know the MOMENT you turn up HIV+ he WILL dump and then what? Then you will BE just another statistic.
He most then like gave you a UTI or who knows another STD.
You, young lady is playing Russian Roulette with your future.
This guy is NOT a keeper. I don't see what love has to do with this. You staying with him and possibly getting yourself infected doesn't mean it's love.
PS, there are MANY treatments out there that can help a HIV+ person live a full life. It's no longer a death sentence, so your "martyrdom" is not necessary.
I'm sorry if I come off harsh, but I have a step-son who was utterly promiscuous sexually and was diagnosed HIV+, then at first refused to get treatment, yet kept sleeping with people. He has now been in the treatment regiment for 12 months and they can no longer detect HIV in him. He still takes his meds and gets tested every 6 months + he FINALLY stopped being stupid about not liking condoms.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 December 2014):
Wow! What you are experiencing is not HIV, as there are absolutely no symptoms at first, and it doesn't cause burning while you pee but comprises your immune system.
That said, you absolutely could have gotten HIV from that one encounter. And furthermore, this guy KNEW he had HIV before you got tested. There is no doubt in my mind. He knowingly put your life at risk, and probably the lives of several other women. People have been sent to prison for this.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 December 2014):
 Can't blame you for the fearful part but there are a zillion things folks can do nowadays that delay/defer the onset of AIDS(or so I hear) so seeking professiional treatment and guildance is a priority now so just go in with high hopes and lowered expectations and you;ll be fine,
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