A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I currently am living in an apartment that a program helps with a portion of our rent. My fiance and I are wanting to get married and have recently been told the program that helps us with rent wants us to have our ceremony at the house they use basically as offices and also the wedding be used as a fundraiser for the program. What should I do? In the past I have done taped interviews to be used for fundraising because I truly appreciate and want to help as well. But this is my wedding . . . I'm a little hurt by the idea but don't want to be thought of badly. Should I have my wedding as planned then do another to not hurt feelings? Please help. Thank you.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 December 2014):
 If I were you, I'd find a nice polite way to tell them, no thanks. My wedding is a private and intimate event and as much as I can understand you asking, I will politely decline.
This is MY wedding.
And then leave it at that. I don't see you owe anyone anything. (other then YOURSELF and your future husband) and that is to HAVE the wedding you can afford and want.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 December 2014):
 You should do what you want.
I am wondering how the program you get financial help from is so involved in your wedding plans... are you getting MORE support than just section 8 housing fees? Because most of the time Section 8 just pays their part of the bill but someone like my adult son who lives in a facility has folks overseeing way more aspects of his life than his rent.
Are you in an adult support program of some sort?
As for doing what you want... here's a story of saying NO about a wedding:
A young man (age 21) was engaged to a woman age 19 who worked for MGM. The movie GUYS and DOLLS (with Marlon Brando) was being put out around the same time they wanted to get married and MGM asked them to have their wedding in TIMES SQUARE to promote the movie as a publicity stunt.
The bride was excited by this and said yes. MGM was going to pay for EVERYTHING.
The groom said no. MGM said "No harm no foul" and went a different way with their publicity and the bride went to the opening of the movie with Marlon Brando as his date.
My mother talked about this for years... she wanted to do it but my dad was too shy. Instead of glitz and glamour they got married in my grandparents living room and lived happily married for nearly 40 years before my mother's untimely death.
Bottom line... this is YOUR wedding and if you don't want to do something for YOUR wedding then DON'T do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2014): No way. Your wedding is a once in a lifetime moment which is to share with those close to you. It is not a fundraising opportunity. You politely tell them that you would happily do interviews again, but your wedding is remaining the sacred affair it should be. It is the day you and your loved one promise to each other you commit your lives to each other. It is not some cheap, tacky moment for them to exploit some money. I can't even see how a wedding would help them fundraise unless they are chargin you for that office, and your friends and family are handing out their hard earned cash to them...
Seriously, don't do it. Continue with your own plans.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2014): I agree whith the others. But if you want to help them, I do have two ideas. If you have a church wedding, you could ask for the collecte/offertory to be made for them. Or if you like you can put them on your wedding gift list. Friends of mine did this, for a cause that was close to their heart. And they raised quit a bit of money that way. And it's free publicity for your program.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 December 2014):
 Tell them that if they like they can also bring in a film crew to the wedding bedroom and film a real great porn flic but you want 755 of the profits. My guess would be they'll get the hint and back down but then again you might have a film crew show up with Larry Flint as director. things could get wild and crazy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2014): A wedding is an emotional and very personal ceremony. They should not be exploited as fund-raisers. Cornering your guests, and "quilting" them into making contributions. Turning your special day into a pan-handling event.
Yes, it's for a good cause. There are other options. You are being shamed into agreement. That isn't how charity is done!
Inform them that you wish to keep your wedding event a low-key affair, and about the joining of a bride and groom in matrimony. You'd be happy to volunteer your time and services through another more publicly-accessible event.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (28 December 2014):
I totally agree with the other answers here. You wouldnt raise money at your wedding for your rent so this is a crass suggestion of theirs and I would be appalled at the idea if I were in your position. Mavericks idea, "im sorry we have already made arrangements", is to the point and should suffice. Your wedding is a private affair and it is about you and your husband. Definitely say no. Best of luck with YOUR wedding, by the way x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 December 2014):
 When I was a kid, the local TV station learned that it was my birthday, and asked if they could come to my back yard, and record my birthday party, and use it for the "Howdy Doody" Show. I told them to "ef-off" because my party was my party, and I wasn't going to share it with some stupid wooden marionette!!!!!!
You should do the same thing with your wedding. Damn!!! the gall of some people and organizations!!!!!!
Have a great wedding day... and a great marriage.
P.S. I love to come to weddings, because there are so many single girls there, who are bridesmaids and are desperate. Do you want my address, so's you might send me an invitation????
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 December 2014):
People may disagree with me on this, but personally I think it's disgusting they want to use something as personal as a wedding for a fundraiser. It's great that the program helps you afford where you live, but there's a limit to what they can ask for in return. Your wedding is yours. Tell them no. And btw, no is a whole sentence. You do not need to offer justification if you don't want to. Maybe say something like: "I'm sorry, but we've already made arrangements."
Take a good look at the contract you have with them and what your obligations are. Don't be guilt tripped into anything that falls outside of the contract if you don't want to do it. If you're up for more taped interviews you could tell them that you'd be glad to help out through an activity like that instead.
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