A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently went through an abortion in December of last year. The baby was my current boyfriend's. Well, I'm extremely worried that I could be pregnant again. I'm not 100% certian. I'll take a test in about a week. But I'm having similar symptoms as with the last pregnancy: sore boobs, feeling tired, sick...We haven't had entirely unprotected sex...But not "safe" sex as some would call it. He put the condom on half way through almost eveytime. And I guess I was stupid and for some reason didn't say anything. So I guess my question isn't if I pregnant or not (I can find that out for myself) My question would be if it would be safe to get another abortion if I am pregnant, how would I tell my parents, should I feel ashamed of getting ANOTHER abortion...I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me it will be ok. Please, no judgemental comments. Only helpful advice.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (26 March 2010):
Do whatever is in your heart. Yes, it's stupid that you weren't more careful, especially after being in the situation before. But some people really shouldn't be parents, and of course giving your child up for adoption is an option but I was very afraid of he/she not being adopted immediately and being put in foster homes or even beaten or molested. There's a lot to think about, but perhaps if you can find a nice family that really wants children but can't have them, that might be something.
I think others suggested the IUD. Let your doctor know that you have trouble remember to take the pill and you can get it implanted in your uterus for 5-years. Even the patch may be more suitable for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"Would you not consider keeping the baby if you were pregnant?"
I forgot to answer this question...I really don't know. Part of me would want to. I know that it wouldn't be the baby's fault that I had been stupid. But the other part is telling me that I'm still in school and it would be nearly impossible to be able to pay for school let alone finish it if a child was involved. I also know that I am not mature enough to be a resonsible parent (obviously if I can't even take birth control..) I would be terrified to bring a child into this world. Kids kind of scare me to tell the truth. That will be something I'll have to talk over with my boyfriend and my consciense if it does happen that I am pregnant.
Once again, thanks for the helpful advice.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (25 March 2010):
If you get a surgical abortion, why not just get an IUD?
I had an abortion over a year ago, and I have been on Birth Control ever since, and I have only missed two pills during that entire time. I'm not going to judge you, because I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys. I'll be sure to take better care of myself in the future. As for pregnancy, I'll update this question in about a week...Keeping my fingers crossed.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 March 2010):
 Get on birth control as soon as you have had the abortion. And also have your BF use condoms. JUST in case.
Your body can take minor damage from abortions ( as in the day you DO want children you might not be able too due to scar tissue and other issues)
Your mental stability. Make sure you get some counseling about this. ABORTION is not to be taken lightly or instead of using contraceptives. You know this. This is why I suggest the counselor, this will come back to haunt you later. I know this from an aunt and from several friend who have been though abortions.
OR STOP having sex til you are smart enough to use contraceptives.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 It's quite safe although abortions have their risks as you probably know. My friend had two abortions in the space of 8 months so you should be fine as she was, just try to be more careful in future if you are pregnant because the more abortions you have the more chance you have of fertility problems when you actually want to start a family. Would you not consider keeping the baby if you were pregnant?
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Firstly, I would ask a doctor's advice on the abortion thing, because hardly any of us here could give you an educated answer on that one. However, abortion can sometimes lead to infertility so two abortions so close together could affect your chances of having kids in the future.
How old are you? Because your age bracket is 18 - 21. If you're 20/21 then this isn't such a disaster as it could be. You've got more of your education out fo the way and you have more responsibility.
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 If you're not using condoms, you should be on the pill. Like pinktopaz said, abortion is not a method of birth control. Please see your doctor asap.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): I was in a similar situation. I wish I had given it more consideration. Having a termination is hard emotionally and having a second one so close is extremely hard. Please consider your emotional needs.
I am still having issues about what I did nearly a year on.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Abortions will damage your womb. You have already damaged it and may not even be able to carry a child now.
Every abortion you have will just damage you further so pls no more unprotected sex ok
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah...I know. I'm being stupid. And honestly, I couldn't tell you why I'm being such an idiot. But, I would do it again. Not to say it wasn't tramatic. I did feel guilt and I did feel shame(should say still do). But, despite my dumb behaviour, I'm not ready to have a child. I understand that it isn't a form of birth control and that I do need to do something about getting birth control. But that wasn't my question. I already know I'm not making good decisions. Thank for the other advise that wasn't criticizing.
And I went with the pill. Not surgical.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (25 March 2010):
Okay, I'm going to judge you only because I've had one before, so it's not like I haven't been in your shoes before....but I cannot believe you would even consider doing that again. Regardless if it's safe, it's not a form of birth control. Didn't they give you some birth control and a shit ton of condoms after your first one? Granted, everyone makes mistakes and not everyone is ready for a child, but you really should have learned your lesson the first time. It's not fun aborting your own child. I mean psychologically it's hard...I had a hard time forgiving myself for a very long time and maybe I just don't understand because I could never do that again.
Yes, abortions are fairly safe but something can always go wrong. I would check with the clinic you went to and find out for sure from them. Multiple abortions are not good for your body though. They can cause scar tissue as well as lead to miscarriages in the future when you WANT to have children because it's not good for your cervix you be pried open like they do when you have an abortion. I really hope you're not pregnant and I REALLY hope that you learn your lesson this time if you're not and use some birth control. If you're not ready for a child, then do something to prevent it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): By the way, any man who would allow you to abort his child and continue to have unprotected sex with you does not really care about you or your welfare.
Putting a condom on half way through the deed? That's utterly ridiculous. He simply doesn't care....and is not a grown up man who can be responsible for another life when he can't even take care of his own.
Stop having sex with him. That's the best form of birth control for ignorance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): Helpful advice: If you are going to be stupid about sex and not take birth control pills since you do not want an unplanned pregnancy, then have the Norplant or the five year birth control implanted in your arm.
Abortion is not meant to be a form of birth control, and yes, it is very hard on your body and you run the risk of future pregnancies not being viable.
Get on the pill. Birth control is still largely a Female responsibility.
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A
female
reader, Spades  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 You shouldn't bombard yourself with guilt, but a certain amount is healthy.
As for how to tell your parents, if it is nessesary, just be honest.
And while you're at the doctors, talk to him/her about other methods of contrepetion. Clearly this one isn't working for you.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Well I hope for your sake that you are not pregnant again, ..but you should really make your primary concern safe sex rather than safe abortions.
Obviously any abortion carries a risk of infection, future fertility problems, etc, ... but I think you need to ask a doctor tho about the safety of abortions so close together.
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