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Guys: would you have responded with a phone call or a text?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2010)
A age 41-50, * writes:

I texted my boyfriend after getting home from a girls night out. It was only a little after 9 p.m. He didn't respond, so I called and no answer. I had asked him a question in the text and he normally responds even if there's not a question. So I texted him that I just tried to call. He texts me back within 2 minutes of that call and says in the text that he's sorry he missed my call, he's getting ready to crash, and he hopes I had a good night. My question is for you guys. Would you have responded with a phone call or a text?? He didn't even answer my question, and honestly I felt brushed off. It's a Friday night, not even 10 p.m. yet. I am 99.9% sure he's not cheating, so putting that aside, what would you guys have done??

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2010):

Miamine agony auntYou asked for advice, and all different types of people from all over the world said the same thing. Your unreasonable, and your acting immature. You don't like the truth, you want us all to agree with you and say that your guy is evil or wrong. We don't do that here, we say what we see, if you want agreement, then talk to yourself, if you want honest, unbiased advice, then come right here..

Your unreasonable, if I was a guy I'd find you immature, rude, and I'd feel suffocated.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have never been a stalker-clingy type, but there are times I doubt myself or am feeling insecure. Never been dumped by a guy, I've always done the leaving in a relationship. I've never had problems getting a guy or being in a relationship.

Why do you think that is, guys? It's because when I doubt myself, or have an insecure day, I ask someone's opinion to keep myself in check. Never would I have thought that every single one of you so-called "Agony Aunts" would be so rude when giving advice. You are right, whomever you were, that said it sounded as if I was 13. I was having an insecure day, which luckily don't happen very often, but advice was all that I was asking for...not rudeness. We are all human and many have insecurities from time to time. This type of thing doesn't happen often, otherwise yes, I would not be able to keep a relationship. This is ONE incident, not an every day occurrence.

I really hope that none of you give advice to someone who is severely depressed. I mean, you have no idea what someone may be going through in their lives. What if someone close to me had just died. You just don't know. So the best thing for you guys (and gals) to do would be not to give advice on this forum unless you can show compassion. It's a shame that someone would come on here and actually listen to you and take you to heart.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

My beat is that he was talking to a girl that he thinks in more mature and hoping that she's single so he can more on with a healthy relationship... You need to grow up, and start deloping some relationship skills- life is going to be really hard otherwise...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

ARE YOU FOR REAL ??

"It just seems to me that if you love someone, then you are head over heels, and what harm is it to pick up the phone if it makes your SO happy to do so?"

You text him first then phones cause he didn't answer the text? Then is all "worried" (or whatever you want to call it??) cause he texted you back ???

Give everyone a break,, If the two of you are really in love with each other why not call each other in the first place ?????

You want to send messages,, HOW about the two of you actually COMMUNICATING instead !! If this is a serious RELATIONSHIP,, GOOD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is going to have to start at some point!

Communication is actual VOCAL INTERACTION between 2 people. Texting is just sending a higher tech. email...

You have to actually talk WITH SOMEONE not AT THEM..

You are trying to make a Mountain out of a molehill.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2010):

Hang on... you're saying that if you had explosive dihorrea and the phone was on the other side of the house, you'd wobble over, pants round your ankles, risking leaving a little trail... just because it would make your other half happy to hear you go "Hi hunny,... Oh.. OH GOD!!!" followed by some really nasty noises?

Because that's just not sexy.

I think you need to chill out and give him the benefit of the doubt.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

You seem to be reading too much into this in my opinion. He texted you back a couple of minutes after the second text. Were you a bit drunk? He could have been doing anything, in the shower, whatever. Just let it go, it's not worth getting worried or offended over

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (23 January 2010):

Not My Name agony auntIf someone texted, rang, and then texted again to tell me they rang, all in less than an hour I must admit I would get annoyed and feel like I was being stalked and hassled in to returning the contact.

Why? Probably because I would not be answering deliberately because I couldn't be bothered right then, did not want to talk to the person, wanted to be left alone, was busy, had company, was in bed, etc. Whatever, but I would have a reason that I did not respond initially.

If you make one contact, they will see it sooner or later and get back to you sooner or later - when it suits and they are inclined to.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

First, I wasn't drunk. Was drinking water all night. Second, we never talk on the phone that long when we talk on the phone. Third, the question was required a quick yes or no and was about whether he received a package he'd been wanting.

It just seems to me that if you love someone, then you are head over heels, and what harm is it to pick up the phone if it makes your SO happy to do so? In reverse positions, I would do the same.

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A male reader, Cerberus Ireland + , writes (23 January 2010):

Cerberus agony auntI'd respond with a text if I wasn't in the mood to get into a discussion about something, it depends what your question was and how drunk you were. No offence but it can be really annoying talking to a drunken grilfriend when you're tired or busy.

He did brush you off, no big deal he probably wasn't in the mood.

I would have done the same thing in his position, some of us guys just don't always want to be contacted it seems a lot of girls don't get that and seem to take it personally.

You really are making a big deal out of nothing, I mean you even bring up cheating in your question, seriously? The guy doen't answer you straight away of take your phone call and that comes to mind? Perhaps he was on the toilet, or watching a movie, maybe he was in the middle of playing a video game, there's loads of possible reasons.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2010):

Maybe he was having a poo?

Just because someone dares to not answer a question and chooses to *GASP* put their mobile away and sleep before midnight... That does not mean your relationship is in crisis.

Give the poor guy a break!!

It's one text message.

Good Luck!! xx

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