How can I confront my boyfriend of lying about porn?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a great relationship for the past 2 years and haven't had any big fights... except about one topic: porn. I absolutely hate it. I see it as a form of cheating. He knows I would never allow him to look another ...
A. 5 December 2011: Dear OP, your boyfriend sounds like a pretty standard red blooded male and unless you are going to make yourself very available for him he is going to spend some of his spare time masterbating cos thats what guys do. And if you had a penis you would ... (read in full...)
My Gf got pissed that I dropped some rice in her bowl of soup, that I was angry at her and that I didn't call her, and now we shouldn't see each other till the end of the year! How trivial is that!!
Q. My gf and I are mad at each other. We’ve dated for about 16 months. I’m 27 and she’s 26. We’re each other's first gf/bf. We were eating at a buffet along with her sister. My gf returned to the table with a small bowl of soup and placed it on the...
A. 5 December 2011: I haven't read all the posts, but looks like you have good advice. I would add that you sound like you are in a typical 1st bf/gf relationship. Both of you at times maybe are too egocentric and exagerate stuations for dramatic effect. Learning to ... (read in full...)
Do dads and stepdads deserve to have access to their daughter's information?
Q. Long story short, I found out my mom decided to tell my stepdad all my secrets, including the fact that I want to go on birth control, and the fact that my last shampoo gave me dandruff, and I didn't know until the lady cutting my hair said I need a ...
A. 5 December 2011: I would expect husbands and wives to usually tell each other everything, even when asked not to. What was dumb of your stepdad was to say something or let you know that he had been told, that was very uncool. On a sidenote, the pill is not the ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant for 5 seconds of sex, on my period??
Q. Is it possible to get pregnant whilst on your period? seriously!!? i had sex on the 4th day of my period so i was not heavy and my partner didnt even notice, however i had sex without a condom for literally 5 seconds and then i stopped it and said ...
A. 5 December 2011: If condoms are only 90% safe I'd have at least 200 children by now!!! Used properly condoms are very safe, not so safe after playing for a few seconds without one though! Its unlikely you are pregnant with no other symptoms, but just go to the ... (read in full...)
Should I just do what I want and not care what this guy thinks of me afterwards?
Q. I met this guy online about three months ago. We've been talking since but have never met. He's tried to a couple times but I laughed it off because I had a boyfriend and didn't want to. Well, my boyfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago,...
A. 5 December 2011: You can't really think you are being used, if you are doing what you want, and maybe even using him??? Hmmm, bit of double standards there maybe? The real question is whether you really like each other and would maybe have a good relationship... (read in full...)
How do I help my boyfriend with his erection troubles?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am writing because I am desperate. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months. He's 29 and I am 31. I love him very much but we're having issues in the bedroom department. The first time we had sex failed because he couldn't get it hard....
A. 5 December 2011: You have both got a lot of stress built up that is working against you. Here are a few things to consider: firstly, his general sexual interest. I think most guys would masterbate every ten minutes if they could, and usually every day or two is ... (read in full...)
Could the pressure of trying to have a child make his lose his erection?
Q. My boyfriend has a problem maintaining an erection after he has a bath. He reasures me that he finds me attative and says that I am not doing anything wrong. I am not to bothered by this but he is and it really gets him down. As we are trying for a ...
A. 5 December 2011: I'm not sure. Maybe he is a bit nervous about having a child? I remember when my wife wanted to get pregnant and it was great, unfortunately it happened too quickly! Any kind of stress is bad for sex, and as all men eventually discover, it is a ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to have orgasm through penetration?
Q. Alright:L So, I'm currently in the midst of my 2nd long-relationship. I'm not particularly experienced, having only been with 3 girls including my present girlfriend and was inquiring as to which positions/rhythms and how much staying power wo...
A. 5 December 2011: The answer lies more in foreplay than thrusting techniques! Also mood. Woman generally don't turn on as automatically as men, also they have hormone cycles that play a significant role. Also if she is on the pill you have an extra challenge.
It usua... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make sex without condoms easier?
Q. My boyfriend has quite a tight foreskin. It split once, and we had to abstain from sex (and he had to abstain from masturbation) for around 12 days whilst it healed. He's always complained that sex without a condom (I'm on the pill and we're bo...
A. 4 December 2011: Yes, only a doctor can help here. Tell him not to be shy. Doctors see all kinds of things and this is a common condition and easily fixed.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's love for anal sex is ruining our relationship
Q. My man loves Anal sex, but I couldn't be more turned off by it. We are engaged to be married, and have been dating for three years. We have amazing sex, on the daily, but when it comes to anal, I'm just not in to it. This is creating some problems ...
A. 4 December 2011: You are right to question his feelings for you as it sounds like he is fare too immature to get married. He has to work it out, pizza or you. It doesn't matter how much he craves something if you don't like it. It could be a respect issue, but much ... (read in full...)
She just isn't tight anymore. Should I say anything?
Q. My wife of a decade years used to be extremely tight. I could barely push in to her. We have not had any kids and yet now when we have sex she feels very loose. There is almost no friction. It's hard to even get off sometimes because (pardon ...
A. 1 December 2011: Its all to do with muscles, and how you broach this topic will be an exercise in diplomacy! Maybe you need to exercise together, go to a gym, the regained physique will make different positions more fun. There are a few key exersises that help, have ... (read in full...)
No more erections!
Q. For emotional reasons, I believe it's best that I stop having sex. I'm wondering if there are any techniques that can train you to never have an erection again, like pinching your skin very hard each time you get an erection. Would there be an...
A. 1 December 2011: Yes, it would make more sense to address your emotional issues than do something you very likely would one day regret.... (read in full...)
I "insulted" my husband about his performance in bed and I think I deeply wounded his ego. How do I fix it?
Q. I "insulted" my husband and I think I deeply wounded his ego. He cant please me in bed and he has stopped trying to quite a while back. I told him that what he is doing isn't working. He told me he never had problems pleasing women in the past. I ...
A. 30 November 2011: I am not sure how you thought brutal honesty was going to get you an orgasm. Unless he's incredibly blind he probably realised that you have a problem climaxing. Just because you do certainly doesn't mean the women in his past didn't have great ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about her comment about my cum?
Q. hi guys and galls. The other night me and my new partner were having sex and when i came she told me i gush rather than squirt. And its the most cum she had seen in one go. It felt great to me and no other partners have said anything before. Any ...
A. 17 November 2011: I think you are just boasting! ... (read in full...)
Just learned that I may not be my son's father
Q. I need to make a HUGE possibly life changing decision. My wife and I are married for almost 15 years. When we met she had just broken up with her ex-bf. We dated for about 6 months when she told me she was pregnant. I did the right thing, and we ...
A. 17 November 2011: Reconsidering this I would give your wife the chance to say something first, you could say that you talked with x and it seems like she has a secret she should talk about from when you got married. Say no more, and wait for her. If your fears are ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend gets a girls number at the bar and lied before, deal breaker?
Q. So I have a major decision to make. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I just found out he's quite the liar. Back in January, he went out with his friends and told me they were going one place but I found out they went to a b...
A. 17 November 2011: Expecting him not to go to a bar and have a drink because you dont like bars is too much imho. He needs that bit of social contact and since you are not with him he will talk to other women. Guess what, thats what men and women do. Out of respect ... (read in full...)
She said to me during sex "would you just finish" after only 10 minutes! I always thought lasting longer was better....
Q. hi their. I have confidance issues when it comes to how long i last during sex. I always please my partner though oral and hands before sex as she doesnt orgasm through intercourse. Once she had cum we moved on to the sex. I was prolonging cumming ...
A. 17 November 2011: You have all the answer below, take note. You have stuff to learn. Continuing sex after an orgasm can and often is almost unpleasant due to the hightened sensitivity. 30 minutes of oral sounds like a marathon, all the women I have know would have ... (read in full...)
Just learned that I may not be my son's father
Q. I need to make a HUGE possibly life changing decision. My wife and I are married for almost 15 years. When we met she had just broken up with her ex-bf. We dated for about 6 months when she told me she was pregnant. I did the right thing, and we ...
A. 16 November 2011: Wow, I would have made a scene on the spot and got my wife and cleared the whole thing up, or not, maybe. But, now you have this festering inside you and it will drive you insane. Almost a no win situation. Think back to when your wife got pregnant, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is working over Christmas - again! I'm furious, help please!
Q. Hi guys, please help, i am fuming! My bf does shift work and he has a responsible role. This year will be our first proper Xmas togther. Let me explain...last year he decided to work a night shift on Xmas day. This meant i got to see him for a round ...
A. 16 November 2011: You are only going to have a bad Christmas if you make it so. Chill out and help him enjoy it too. If you have issue about how other things are organised then talk openly about it. Sounds like he is hard working and responsible about his job, you ... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable around our house with teenaged daughter walking around in just underwear!
Q. Our oldest daughter is now 15 and tends to walk around the house in just her bra and underwear or nothing at all. My husband and I get on her about it all the time, but she doesn't seem to care. Will she grow out of this or will it get worse? Is ...
A. 16 November 2011: This is more of an issue in N America than most other places, bit prudish there. If its warm enough being naked at home is rather comfortable, whats the big deal? We all have bodies.... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 15 November 2011: But is it right to stay in a relationship where you arent respected just because of the time invested? We have all been there and learnt that lesson. You are possibly missing meeting someone who would care properly for you. If you still feel love ... (read in full...)
He says he's given me 3 chances. Says he will not talk to me any more if I don't allow more than kisses and touching next time.What do I say to him?
Q. I like this guy ever since I was little , we grew up together and Finally one day we started texting dirty and he wants me to do stuff to him and I want to but I'm still a virgin and don't know if I could please him and I don't know how to do a ...
A. 14 November 2011: I think you already have the message that he is just using you and doesnt care about your feelings, but even more important is you have to look after yourself, you can get really hurt and made sick. If you are confident about this boyfriend you ... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 14 November 2011: Your boyfriend needs to learn a bit about how women work. Sounds like he thinks your orgasm should be automatic like his, rub it and he comes! Stress, of any kind, will make it even harder. I suggest you go back to 101 of petting. Just carr... (read in full...)
His ultimatum: Get rid of my online friends and date site profiles,or he is going to leave!
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months has given me an ultimatum. Either I get rid of my on line friends and Date Site profiles,or he is going to leave. I have been on them for 3 years and enjoy it. I feel a bit like he is telling me what to do. Which shall I go ...
A. 14 November 2011: He doesn't trust you because you are still active on dating websites! How would you like it if he was doing the same? Dating websites are aimed at hooking up poeple looking for a relationship of some kind, usually with the expectation of getting ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 14 November 2011: Doesn't sound like your bf is mature enough yet to consider your feelings and well being. I know from previous girlfriends the ill effects of the pill, both to health and libido and am happy my wife never took it. If your cycle is regular you should ... (read in full...)
Sex while music is playing?
Q. Hello everyone, just after a few personal opinions here! Do you think it's a good idea to have sex for the first time while music's playing in the background or can that be a distraction from (or to) your partner? I'm thinking classical music, ...
A. 14 November 2011: I think music is always nice, and helps block out the outside world. However, if you try to stage manage your first time together it may we disappoint. First times should be spontaneous and full of love, not organised like a visit to the dentist. ... (read in full...)
My wife wont have anal sex, should I go to a prostitute or will I regret it?
Q. Hello friends, i know i have been several times here on DCupid issues about that issue, but still i want it to get this help from you! Please! Here it comes: i wish i could get intercourse in the anus in my wife but she doesn't want it anymore, we ...
A. 11 November 2011: Good grief, do you think your wife should do something she clearly doesnt like just for your physical pleasure? Please show more care for her. Stick to your fantasy, it is probably much better than reality ever would be.... (read in full...)
No sex in 5 years, does it matter to guys?
Q. To the Men on Dearcupid, What would you think if you started a relationship with a woman who hadn't had sex in 5 years? Would it freak you out? Or does it simply not matter? Thanks I was just wondering!...
A. 11 November 2011: As said already, most men would find it preferable to many alternatives followed by a lot of single women. I assume you dont abstain from loving yourself? Now that could be an issue!!... (read in full...)
I hate my girlfriend's new haircut
Q. My girlfriend got a new hairdo the other week and I hate it, but I don't have the guts to tell her. When she said she was going for a haircut I thought she meant just a light trim like she always had but little did I know she would be coming home ...
A. 11 November 2011: You are seriously overreacting. Like spilt milk, the hair is gone. When it grows back you can say how much you prefer it. In the meantime whilst making love you are just going to have to try and look at some other part of her body, if you can manage ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that my friend who is 19 has foreplay with strangers?
Q. Do you think it's bad if a girl who is only nineteen, has foreplay, but not sex with guys she's met on a night out? Because, my flatmate does this and says it's being young and having fun. She said she wouldn't ever sleep with anyone she just ...
A. 11 November 2011: You didn't say but I assume that your flatemate has been out drinking first before getting picked up? One drink often helps us relax and feel more confident, but after 2 or 3 or judgement is impaired. Your flatmate could be putting herself at ... (read in full...)
He chose to watch sexy nurses instead of time with me!
Q. My boyfriend chose watching sexy nurses on TV instead of reading the horoscope with me...what should I do?...
A. 9 November 2011: Well he could just as well ask why you don't want to watch sexy nurses with him and prefer horoscopes on your own? ?... (read in full...)
How has your past sexual experiences affected your marriage/Serious Prospective Relationship Experienced persons Opinion preferably
Q. Hi DC members This is a sex related question. I would like your honest comments about having several sex partners before you settle in life(find your soul mate/Mr. or Mrs Right to start a family with). I mean all the people you have been involved...
A. 9 November 2011: You only have to scan the columns here on DC to see many people are significantly affected by their past sexual relationships. Lives are completely changed by unplanned pregnancy or sexual infections. I think it is also an average statement that the ... (read in full...)
Is 'dry humping' morally wrong?
Q. We were making out and it just happened, we're both Christians and we want to wait till marriage to have sex, but is it wrong that we dry humped and we both enjoyed it? ...
A. 9 November 2011: It depends on your morals! You are old enough to start defining your own personal moral guidlines and not judging yourself by what other people think or say is right or wrong. Being a kind, caring, and considerate person will give you much more ... (read in full...)
He said that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head that our marriage will be over!
Q. I have been with my husband for almost four years. When we had been dating for a month I told him that I hated giving head. We have been married for a little over a year now and he is telling me that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head ...
A. 7 November 2011: Well first of all, is he really serious or just jesting? If he is realy serious then you have bigger issue than whether you like giving a blow job or not. Otherwise hes making a very unsubtle hint that hes not satisfied, I must admit I find a blow ... (read in full...)
He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 3 November 2011: How come he thinks its different for you? Either you make him grow up or you find someone who cares about you. You have a right to be respected and because you love you don't have to show it by letting him abuse you.... (read in full...)
Do you have any advice on how I can lose weight & begin eating healthy?
Q. Do you have any advice on how I can lose weight and begin eating healthy? I would like to get a head start on my New Years Resolution and begin to make changes in my life. My health is one of those changes. Any advice? Thanks. ...
A. 3 November 2011: Its really good that you want to get in shape before you are older and it is harder. The important thing is to realise this takes a while but in 6 months you could be amazed. A few ideas:
1.cut out you worst junk food completely. It is easier to d... (read in full...)
Could he be cheating? I'm Confused and need advice about his behavioral changes, please?
Q. I have been in this relationship for 4 yrs now. Everything has been going well. But last week while doing laundry I noticed some staining if you will in my man's undies. Ok I know that doesn't mean much, it can happen. But then one of his unde...
A. 3 November 2011: You need to talk, but not like you display your lack of trust, which is understandable. I never lost my underware, ever, maybe if someone had really wanted them for a keep sake? ? but that would be wierd. Maybe the vacuum cleaner is responsible? ... (read in full...)
She's my first everything, I'm her seconds....
Q. I'm 26 and had never dated or anything up until a year and a half ago (not a lot of confidence in that department). I've been with the same girl now for that time frame. She's amazing. She told me early on she wasn't a virgin (I am). She has only ...
A. 2 November 2011: Your thoughts are justified. In cases where one partner has a lot more experience then in some ways the specialness of your first time will be less because she has done it many times before. The thing that you wont realise until some time probably ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to have a baby with me and not get married?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating seriously for nearly a year, and living together for over 6 months. He's in his early 40's and I'm in my early 30's. We both have been divorced. He recently expressed that he wants to have a baby, and we agreed ...
A. 1 November 2011: Only you know your love and your relationship with this man, and a real marriage is in the heart. Sorry for sounding cynical but today, and in most societies, a marriage certificate doesnt mean much if anything. After two divorces it probably mean... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong by refusing to pay for my wife's new dress?
Q. Hi, I really got to get this out as I don't know what I am doing wrong, maybe there are some factos which I am not taking into account. My wife and I are both young working professionals, my salary is higher than hers by around 30%. We bough...
A. 29 October 2011: I am sure that if you wanted something for yourself for the price of a dress you would have bought it. And when you got home you could have asked for a viewing and then enjoyed taking the dress off. On maybe just the panties and bra and keeping the ... (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 29 October 2011: This is silly. Men will be more turned off by scars on your nipples. If you really want to enjoy some unnecessary surgery why not get your nose or ears adjusted or something that will be seen and make you feel more outwardly confident. Better still ... (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 28 October 2011: Well, you could just keep your bra on and avoid the surgery. Honestly, unless there is some reason your nipples wont work properly for feeding your future babies I wouldnt do this simply because of a few jokes youve heard. I think the media is ... (read in full...)
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