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My Girlfriend Wants to Sleep With a Guy at Work, What to Do?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend got together young - she was 17 at the time and we have been together 9 years and I'm more in love with her now than i have ever been. A few months ago i started to get the feeling that she was thinking about being wit...

A.   23 February 2013: OP I am sorry but I have to agree with the aunrs and uncles that your relationship may well be close to over. I would go further and suggest that she quite probably has already slept with this guy and she is fishing for you to condone it. I have ... (read in full...)

What happened here on Dear Cupid, guys? What's so bad about trying to fix a relationship rather than just jumping immediately to divorce?

Q.   I've been coming on this site since I was 16 and used to get great, friendly advice on how I should handle my relationship problems. I came here looking first solution to fix things. I don't know what happened in the past three years, but friendly ...

A.   19 February 2013: Ususlly questions get a range of ideas and suggestions, you can choose what you want. I agree that sometimes some of the replies seem negative but this may be relecting the reality that another person has experienced. Not msny relationships get over... (read in full...)

I want to have anal sex but when the time really comes I chicken out!

Q.   I keep wanting to have anal sex. Like me and my boyfriend are really up for it we both feel ready and trust each other enough. But when it actually comes down to it i stop him and tell him i'm too worried to carry on, i'm guessing this kind of ...

A.   19 February 2013: OP why do you think this is something you need to be ready for?? To make your bf feel good? Sure some people enjoy putting their fingers and other things up each other's anus, and its the subject of plenty of porn but for most people its not fun.... (read in full...)

I'm so depressed about the size of my penis. I'm very depressed

Q.   Hello i have a really big problem with myself im so self councious i cant live in peace this started 4 months ago when i started going out with my girlfriend she is a really nice person i love her so much but i have an issue. not long ago we start...

A.   19 February 2013: Like everyone has said, you don't really have any problem. I would just add that in the presence of the right woman, and you are carressing her warm naked body you will pump an extra half pint of blood into your better half and you should be quite... (read in full...)

My wife confessed that she cheated and our 4 year old daughter isn't mine. How do we proceed from here?

Q.   I'm 32, and my wife's 31; been together for 9 years now. We have a 5-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. Last night she told me she had something to confess; I asked her what it was, and she admitted to me: "Our 4-year-old daughter isn't m...

A.   19 February 2013: Yes, do the math. Birth is approx 9 months from the previos period, so about 8.5 months from conception. Your wife seems to describe the night she got pregnant pretty well, a friends birthday, so its not hard to work out if its even the right mo... (read in full...)

Retroactive jealousy is tearing us apart

Q.   my partner and i have been together for 8 years, hes just gone 40 and i m 36. we have been friends for 19 years after meeting when i was 17 and seeing each other for a few months. we stayed friends after this and i had my son with someone else and ...

A.   8 February 2013: This "problem" takes many guises but I see a few basic similarities between my own experiences and what I have read from others. One thing is clear, women have no way of understanding what this can do to a guy but it can border on total insanity... (read in full...)

My husband says he doesn't watch porn or masturbate ever. Is this possible?

Q.   All I ever read on this site is how men use porn. If a guy says he isn't using porn then he is lying. I read a post just the other day for a woman who wanted a man who didn't cheat, watch porn, look at other women, etc. It got tons of replies all ...

A.   30 January 2013: OP I think you need something more important to worry about. He may well be telling you the truth. If you have been in hospital he may have too much stress and anxiety to care for porn and wacking off. But if he took care of a little selflove in ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband watch one particular part of my body during sex?

Q.   Hi, I am really embarrassed but here it goes: sex with my husband is over the top. I mean, since I've been with him I finally understood what "to make love" means: he's caring and sentimental in the bedroom and outside the bedroom too. When he is ...

A.   24 January 2013: OP, why dont you climb on top and have a look and see if it turns you on? It may just be a penis and vagina but it is his and yours. It still special and its still love. After over 20 years with my wife I still find it amazing. Just try to relax and ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband watch one particular part of my body during sex?

Q.   Hi, I am really embarrassed but here it goes: sex with my husband is over the top. I mean, since I've been with him I finally understood what "to make love" means: he's caring and sentimental in the bedroom and outside the bedroom too. When he is ...

A.   24 January 2013: OP, why dont you climb on top and have a look and see if it turns you on? It may just be a penis and vagina but it is his and yours. It still special and its still love. After over 20 years with my wife I still find it amazing. Just try to relax and ... (read in full...)

I can't climax with my boyfriend. How can I relieve the sexual tension?

Q.   Hello, I have a sex question. I posted about this topic yesturday but have more to add. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two months now, im 18 hes 25. And Lately he says all ive wnated to do is have sex, and i have. Im consantly "h...

A.   10 January 2013: I think the best thing you can do is find a guy that knows and cares a bit more about women. You are flogging the proverbial dead horse with this bf and his lack of caring will only get worse. ... (read in full...)

If he is getting help for his problems, would it be so bad if I took him back in a year or so?

Q.   I posted a question a few days ago, but here is an update. I knew my boyfriend of 3 years was lying to me about certain things so I got access to his email account on Friday night, then did the same thing to his facebook account. I found dozens a...

A.   9 January 2013: OP when you are older and look back you will see how this so called boyfriend manipulated you. Yes he may grow up in 5 years and become a trustworthy partner but are you going to be his doormat till then? Take a deep breath and work on your own futu... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling self conscious about my chest size?

Q.   Hi all, I'm feeling a little self conscious about my chest size. I'm an A75/34AA, which is pretty flat. I always thought they'd grow a cup bigger but sadly that has been my bra size since I was 13. My boyfriend doesn't mind my chest size, but I ...

A.   8 January 2013: I saw a documentary recently and the reality was that many of the womem were just as unhappy about their new brest size because it actually doesnt change how you feel. Dont be suckered into the media, marketing hype about big brests. Dress to suit ... (read in full...)

I lied to my ex and lead him to believe that I wasn't a virgin. Should I tell him the truth now?

Q.   Hi cupids, I was always ashamed of being a virgin and had promised never to tell whoever I lost it to. Everyone thinks am experienced. I lied to my current ex boyfriend about my virginity. I always acted like I was not a virgin and he noticed he ...

A.   3 January 2013: Dont tell him. If he is an ex then he will go off and brag about it and that will be much worse. Most of all stop feeling insecure about being a normal person. Just make extra sure you can trust your next boyfriend so you can talk openly, you will ... (read in full...)

I lied to my GF about how old I was when I lost my virginity. Should I tell her the truth?

Q.   Basically me and this girl have been having sex and now are getting more serious. She asked me when i lost my virginity and because I was embarrassed i lied and said when I was 19 when really i had lost my virginity at the age of 23 with my ex girlf...

A.   3 January 2013: Funny how people are so insecure about their sexual experience or lack of. I have come to realise that if you dont feel really relaxed and comfortable (and trusting) of a partner and cant talk openly with them then you probably shouldnt be havi... (read in full...)

Is it only me who gets upset that some people cheat, and then want to keep that fact a secret from their partner?

Q.   Some Posters seem to be condoneing cheaters and ex promiscus people. Why do people think that its ok to lie to their husbands or wifes??? I just read where one agony aunt said "don't beat yourself up over it you just felt a connection so yo...

A.   28 December 2012: Everyone has their own values for themselves and expectations for their partners. Hopefully most people agree that lying, misleading, abusing, hurting, etc are bad. Whether we have a specific value on sexual exclusivity is something different. ... (read in full...)

My B/f doesn't last very long in bed

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about a month now and it doesn't last very long. We do some foreplay but almost as soon as he's inside me he has to cum. We've tried taking breaks, I usually don't give him oral before we have sex beca...

A.   26 December 2012: Sounds like you know a solution, keep a few bottles of wine at hand! You have only been together for a month so he is really excited. As already mentioned, the only sure improvement is a lot more sex. In the short term, make him wait during foreplay ... (read in full...)

What can I do? I love my wife. I miss her. It's no no no too often. It hurts.There is no romance or passion in our marriage

Q.   To start with I know woman like to say stuff like "your wife just needs you to be more affectionate" on these types of forums when men say they have this problem. This isn’t one of those situations at all...let me explain. Me and my wife have been ...

A.   26 December 2012: OP you sound smart enough to understand your wife's feelings which is good. It's much easier for guys to get turned on, women generally need to be in the mood and to feel sexy. If your wife is working full time, recently gave birth, and now has a ... (read in full...)

Do I try anal sex or not?

Q.   My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me but I just don't know about trying it. Do I let him have his way or what? and anyone that has tried it can you please explain it like what do you have to do and how does it feel? I only really care about th...

A.   26 December 2012: No, you don't "let him have his way" , it already sounds like you are far than sure about this, and I dont blame you. Some people do seem to have an errogenous zone in there somewhere but I never found it! Remember to have an enema first. ... (read in full...)

My LDR seems sweet and gentle. I'm a virgin. Last night I found out he's into sadistic/masochistic sex. How do I deal with this?

Q.   I'm going to try and keep this as brief as possible. Last night I learned that my long-distance boyfriend is into sadistic/masochistic sex. I'm really surprised, because he's a really sweet and gentle guy. I'm a virgin, with zero sexual activit...

A.   22 December 2012: Sorry but this sounds odd, how did you find this out? If it really is true then you want to keep him as long distance as possible and find someone you better relate to, preferably nearby!!... (read in full...)

I'm an uncircumcised virgin. My penis swells after masturbation and it has me a little concerned.

Q.   Okay I have a little problem and it's kind of embarrassing. But ever since I could, whenever I masturbate my penis gets all swollen afterwards. I don't know why it does this. It's not like I do it a lot, I don't. And I don't do it too rough either. ...

A.   21 December 2012: You really don't give much meaningful info. Penises are meant to swell - are you describing a lump or soreness? If there is no pain then there is probably nothing wrong but if you are concerned then a doctor is the only person who can help you.... (read in full...)

I can't bring my girlfriend to orgasm anymore and it's beginning to affect my pride

Q.   The other day me and my gf hung out and we had intercourse. it was an amazing time but the problem is that i couldn't bring her to orgasm by oral or my fingers. I am only able to bring her to orgasm by penetration and it has to be for a long period ...

A.   21 December 2012: You are rushing her much too much. And also causing you both unnecessary stress. Try relaxing and more gentle time together, just gently carressing if she likes it. You're learning that women don't just orgasm to order, no matter how much you rub ... (read in full...)

I can't get past the fact that my husband had lap dances from strippers before we were married.

Q.   I have known my husband for abt 10 yrs now, married for 6 and we both are very happy, committed and loving to each other, expecting our first baby now. But just the other day, I was talking of pregnancy stretch marks and he goes - dont worry ho...

A.   21 December 2012: You are at a vunerable time emotionally and obviously don't feel too sexy. But just remember that your husband loves you and even pregnant finds you sexy. You have a self confidence low point, which probably isnt help by the fact you had sex with... (read in full...)

My boyfriend was angry that I was ill and didn't want sex so he left late and left my door unlocked all night!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I've been in an exclusive relationship for over 2 1/2 years we are both middle aged, and live in our separate homes, but we spend almost every night together. Last night my boyfriend comes over later than normal because he had a...

A.   20 December 2012: Unfortunately guys, once turned on, can behave like 5 year olds when rejected. Hes hopefully not as bad as the female aunts suggest but his tantrum was not smart and whether he left your door open on purpose or not it was very uncaring. It sounds ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is upset about what I did in a past relationship....

Q.   My bf is upset about what I did in a past relationship I am with my current bf for about a year and a half now, going on two years. We met in college and have a great relationship. My bf and I recently went back home to my family for the T...

A.   19 December 2012: The real problem is that you don't understand what his problem is. What you fid is not that wierd or unusual but it is far from normal. You don't say anything about your boyfriends past experiences because if he has enjoyed casual sex then theres ... (read in full...)

Is this textbook shy-guy behavior?

Q.   I had a date with a shy guy (he even admits to being shy)... Introverted around people in general. I'm an introverted person too so I was expecting that our date would be filled with silences. However, our date was a lot of fun and we had many ...

A.   19 December 2012: Yes it sure is. Just don't wait too long before you "arrange" to meet again or you will never know what happens next! No matter how shy you both may be one of you has to make the next move.... (read in full...)

He's secretly masturbating when we're in bed and he thinks I'm asleep!

Q.   I really don't know where to start - my boyfriend and I have been together a little more than ten years we've been through a lot together and we also have two beautiful children together, anyways about three years ago i started some medication that ...

A.   18 December 2012: Some guys are shy about masturbation, maybe its from childhood when we were afraid our mothers would catch us at it! Your bf was obviously very self-conscious about being found out and might explain his reaction at denying everything (like a child) ... (read in full...)

I was abused in the past. Do I have the right to become celibate in my relationship?

Q.   After years of having sexual problems, I have decided to become celibate. This is due to extreme anxiety and depression before and after sex that stems from emotional and slight sexual abuse. I was never forcibly raped, however, no matter how hard...

A.   18 December 2012: I don't think your boyfriend is the right partner for you. Firstly he doesnt make you feel safe enough to be able to have comfortable or even enjoyable sex with him (even if you dont get any orgasms) Secondly he should have a problem having sex w... (read in full...)

The girl I want slept with some else

Q.   At work there is this girl that I fancied for a longtime but I never tried to pursue her because she is with someone else. That never bothered me like that , shes always been jokey and flirty with me always saying funny I am and that I am really ...

A.   17 December 2012: Been there, got that T shirt. Chalk it up to experience and just be happy you didnt end up in a relationship with her as she probably would have a problem being with only one guy for long. If it makes you feel better you could ask het if its true ... (read in full...)

Out of control PMS, I've tried EVERYTHING, please help me!

Q.   I'm at my wits end here and really need some advice. I am a 25 year old woman. I'm generally a happy person who enjoys life. But the week (sometimes 2 weeks) before my period I feel as though I go absolutely INSANE! I'm extremely angry, depr...

A.   14 December 2012: Poor you, my wife and past girlfriends suffered bad pms. I mark in my diary so as to remember. Your hormones do somersaults and there is not much we can help you with except to ask to please see a doctor and get more professional help. If you are... (read in full...)

The only way he'll let me break up with him is if I tell him the truth!

Q.   So im kind of stuck in a pickle. what do you do when you dont want to hurt someones feelings, break them by telling them the truth ? That after 4 years of dating you went away alone for acouple months and in just 3 months felt happier with someone ...

A.   13 December 2012: Well you can try the "we have grown apart" line, but he will still feel hurt and rejected but its unavoidable. He will know theres another guy whether you tell him or not. Its part of the swings and roundabouts of relationships. If it hasnt already ... (read in full...)

What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?

Q.   Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...

A.   12 December 2012: Not much is going through a guys mind as he masturbates! Before porn I would usually dream of past girlfriends, but i am even saved that effort now! !... (read in full...)

Should I allow my boyfriend to do something sexually that I'm not comfortable with?

Q.   My boyfriend of over a year keeps asking me to let him cum on my face... We've done literally everything else and I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do. He just won't leave me alone about it. I think I would feel really disgusting and ...

A.   12 December 2012: To a young guy its pretty sexy. Hes not a perv or even porned out. Its just something that turns him on. But, you dont like the idea of it and he should respect you. The problem is young guys dont really take no for an answer, well maybe for ten ... (read in full...)

Is there a disease that gets worse when you have sex?

Q.   Is there such a disease that gets worse when you have sex and therefore the doctor will be able to tell whether you're having sex or not?...

A.   11 December 2012: A doctor will tell you are having sex, why do you ask?... (read in full...)

I feel bad about my sex appeal knowing mean watch much better on a porn movie. Am I second best in a guy's estimation if he watches porn?

Q.   I know there are many questions about porn, but plese bear with me. So when men watch porn, do they watch it for the women's bodies? Especially girl on girl, or girls masturbating, or stripping, ie. porn that doesn't involve men at all (so it's not...

A.   11 December 2012: OP everyone is different. I think I dont fit in the mainstream male category as I find those perfect porn stars you describe quite a turn off. I like normal looking girls that remind me of my wife, yes small boobs a bit of tummy fat, but not much ... (read in full...)

Worried because my hookup count is building up...

Q.   Hello all, It's been more than half a year since I got out of my first and only relationship that lasted a good 1.5 years. And since the end of that relationship, I've had a good handful of drunken hookups. I've had three one night stands alr...

A.   11 December 2012: Yes there are a lot of people that would call you a slut for having casual sex with strangers but more importantly is what you think yourself. You sound unhappy with your lifestyle and if that is the case then you are the only one who can change it. ... (read in full...)

Can men and women be friends without sex getting in the way.

Q.   My best friend is a guy, we known each other for 6 years and got each other through so many hard times and good times of course. About 6 months in to known each other we got drunk and had sex. In the mornin i told him i didnt want it to happen again ...

A.   7 December 2012: OP you have already let sex get in the way of your friendship. You cant undo that now. Probably the best is to just avoid him for a while so he gets over you and hopefully finds a new gf.... (read in full...)

So, what are your opinions on the self control of men?

Q.   Hey everyone! I've been going out with my BF for nearly a year now. Our sex life has always been very good. We were both completely new to all things sexual before we met each other, but we've explored a lot together which has been nice. Th...

A.   7 December 2012: I dont think its anything to do with self control, more to do with the obvious rejection he is feeling. Usually in stressful situations intimacy with a partner is very relaxing and strengthening. This is no so in your case and you see your boyfriend ... (read in full...)

Did I do the right thing in telling him how I felt, or should I have just kept quiet?

Q.   So, I asked a guy out...and now it is weird. Basically it all came to a head after a really interesting day spent with him. We spend a lot of time together, even though we have only known each other for just over 3 months. We are both at Universi...

A.   6 December 2012: OP, well my first reaction was probably not publishable and so I have come up with an excuse for him. Maybe he is such a nice shy guy that his shock on hearing you liked him was to say he wasnt good enough for you. If that isnt the case then he is ... (read in full...)

I need help getting back to normal life after a traumatic experience

Q.   Ok a long time (few years) ago I made out and got intimate (no oral/vaginal sex) with what I thought was a women but it was a mtf transsexual with full surgery. That was a traumatic experience for me and I have been depressed about it ever since. I ...

A.   6 December 2012: Stop beating yourself up. I just hope you werent too rude to the woman in question because that would not have been cool. She should have warned you first. I do understand the shock it must have been but underneath you are showing serious ... (read in full...)

I just found out that my boyfriend got another girl pregnant (before we got together) and dumped her.

Q.   I just found out today that before I was with my boyfriend, he had sex with other girls, got them pregnant, told them he would marry them If he had too then left them. I'm so confused this is the first guy that I have really seen having a long ...

A.   5 December 2012: Well you are already suspicious of him, thats why you asked for our opinion and yes we all know your instinct is right. He is certainly not to be trusted and you have to grow up and discover your facebook wall has nothing to do with real life. He ... (read in full...)

Meeting up with my LDR at the airport tomorrow and I'm nervous!!

Q.   Hi dear aunts/uncles! I am on a LDR for a couple of months with someone I used to know when I was younger just as friends, but we parted ways. (we knew each other personally) We will "meet" tomorrow on an airport (we both flew in to a "m...

A.   5 December 2012: Yes, kiss, kiss like there is no tomorrow. When you first meet talking can be clumsey. Let your bodies do the communication. If the tension is to much to bear have a stiff drink first. Then see what happens. Good luck.... (read in full...)

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