A
female
age
26-29,
*onfusedAndUnloved
writes:We were making out and it just happened, we're both Christians and we want to wait till marriage to have sex, but is it wrong that we dry humped and we both enjoyed it?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Dry humping is fine for everyone but strict religious people.
If you are a strict christian, then anything that is lustful is wrong outside marriage, including thoughts as well as actions.
Very few Christians are so strict and if you have a word with your preacher I'm sure he will reassure you that you are doing nothing wrong.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): Me and my ex-boyfriend had issues with this as well. It's really hard, because as soon as you start something like that, it just escalades to more and more. We both felt really guilty about everything, but convinced each other it was okay, even though we're Christians.
It's definitely much better to stay away from this as much as possible. It's very hard, because it's so pleasurable, but if you want to keep your commitment to your future husband, you need to. I dated my last boyfriend for 3 years. We thought we would get married. You don't always know that he will be your husband.
I think that to be truly pure for your husband, you do need to stay away from as much of that as possible. It scars your mind... it's hard to get rid of.
The more privacy you have when you're together, the worse it gets, too. Try to not have too much privacy, always have someone in the house with you and keep the doors open, or not closed for longer than a certain amount of time, just as a precaution.
It's fairly easy to say that you won't have sex, and to not, but you can do everything else in the book if you don't set limits. My advice is to set limits with your boyfriend now, and stick strongly to them.
Another tip is to try to keep yourself vertical, not horizontal, as it triggers parts of a guy's mind that we understand, and its easy to become comfortable lying down.
Some good books on this subject are :
The 10 Commandments of Dating
Boys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti - the author also does shows and has a few movies.
Hope you make the right choices. Be careful, because what I've said comes from the heart: it really does lead to more and more, and you justify it. It brings you farther from God. And It's really not worth it: the romance you can have with your future husband will be much greater, the more intimacy you save for him.
Thanks:)
17yearold
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (9 November 2011):
It depends on your morals! You are old enough to start defining your own personal moral guidlines and not judging yourself by what other people think or say is right or wrong. Being a kind, caring, and considerate person will give you much more strength than any religious label. Its your body, look after it, and enjoy all the pleasures it will give you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Not to promote teenage sex or sexual acts. But I know Christians who still engaged in oral sex. In which if your a Christian you should avoid sexual acts all together out of temptation to go all the way. I would think that dry humping would be included. You're walking on that fine line of temptation. Who's to say the clothes won't come off next time?? Since dry-humping just "happened" while making out.
If you want to remain celibate then I would suggest knocking off the dry-humping. Maybe pray about it the next time in church.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): As a Christian and having read the Bible extensively and it being a daily practice; I can say it is discouraged and does fall into the sexual sin category.
Of course it was going to feel good, its how Heavenly Father designed our bodies so that when we are married and making love to our partners, it brings us closer to one another in friendship, fidelity, and with love.
Sexual intimacy is clearly reserved for Man and Woman in the bonds of marriage as the scriptures reveal time and again.
So according to the Saviours Law aka Heavenly Fathers Law, it was wrong.
It was HUMAN to enjoy it but if you want clarity, I'd take it before your Religious leaders for guidance or your parents.
Other than that, if you both want to reserve such a beautiful and loving act for marriage, then re-dedicate yourselves to that covenant, pray daily for strength and guidance, avoid situations where you will not create a moment of weakness.
Make sense?
P.S.
I just want to say that in no way would such a thing condemn you to any degree of 'hell' and the only Authority that has the ONLY say over such matters of your Celestial State is the Saviour so, everyone who wants to condemn you-they don't know boo. Such things can be forgiven through repentance, prayers, fasting, and the proper church authority.
Peace Out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): Religion was "invented" to induce fear into people because there were no police forces to keep control. The rules were to an extent for protection, but you need to remember that churches are businesses too and rely on obedience and donations.
The "no sex before marriage" rule was to control disease, population and illegitemacy. You might think that in these enlightened days of birth control such concepts are unnecessary, but people are still careless or stupid - but that is an individual choice, not one to be imposed by outsiders.
In other words, do what you want but be careful.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 November 2011):
 I think if you had to ask and feel that much guilt about it then yes it's wrong for you.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 morals are subjective values imposed by society's pressures or by religious teachings. I'm not familiar with the dry humping morality so I guess unless you're doing it in public places like school yards or the movies, I guess you'll pass the test.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 In your case, yes. If you had to ask then there is doubt, and if there is doubt it is because you know it isn't right.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (8 November 2011):
There are a couple of different ways to tackle this. If you're taking your cues about what's right and wrong from your church, then ask yourself what your pastor/priest would say if you asked him. Chances are that he would say it's wrong.
More broadly, you can ask yourself why you've chosen to wait until marriage. Those reasons will guide you as to what you feel is right or wrong short of full intercourse.
If you feel that this kind of intimacy is wrong, then by having enough privacy with your boyfriend to make out you're playing with fire. Better to not be alone with him, but rather spend time in groups.
The important thing is to examine your personal values (which this question suggests you're doing -- good for you!) and to be true to yourself. If you do decide that intimate acts are OK, for goodness sake be safe!
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