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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Will she still be 'tight' for me?
Q. My girlfriend had sex one time before she met me for literally only 2 minutes and told the man to stop. She knew what she was doing was wrong theres a long back story to this. But I'm wondering will she still be tight when we do it? Tight as a ...
A. 13 December 2010: Yeah, it will be special for both of you, because I can guarantee you, those 2 minutes weren't special for her.
She won't be "looser" for you whatsoever.
Treat her right and have fun :D ... (read in full...)
Is this what all the protective guys do?
Q. This is the third time i've asked a question here, that just shows that my life is full of drama. The only reason i dont tell my family and friends about my problems is because they can be very judgemental so i guess i need an outsiders ...
A. 13 December 2010: My opinion...
Run far.
Run fast.... (read in full...)
How can I rekindle this relationship?
Q. I've been with my girlfreind 3 years now, and i think we may be coming to the end of our relationship, she says im too nice to her, and when im with her it just doesnt feel the same as the 1st year we dated. I'm her 1st serious boyfriend and she ...
A. 13 December 2010: Can you give more info as to how your relationship has been over these 3 years? Were you different 3 years ago to how you are now?... (read in full...)
Does she mean what she says about not having 'those' feelings for me?
Q. Ok I was seeing a girl that ive known since high school but just in the past 6 months did it get serious. about a week ago we had a video chat and she told me that she didnt have "thos feelings for me" but, she tells me im a great guy and I treat ...
A. 13 December 2010: Well she definitely has feelings for you as a good friend, but probably not in the same way that you feel about her.... (read in full...)
How can I encourage my unemployed boyfriend?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend has been unemployed for about a year and a half. He used to have quite a nice paying job, and saved about half his salary every month. I know he is looking forward to buy a house later on and the savings are for his down payment....
A. 13 December 2010: Well if ever there was a time to study, this is the time... Just as long as he's not studying simply because he doesn't want to work...
At the end of the day he has to do this for himself, anything you do to try to "encourage" him, he's probably... (read in full...)
Will she still be 'tight' for me?
Q. My girlfriend had sex one time before she met me for literally only 2 minutes and told the man to stop. She knew what she was doing was wrong theres a long back story to this. But I'm wondering will she still be tight when we do it? Tight as a ...
A. 13 December 2010: *sigh*
Yes, she will be.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 12 December 2010: Oh dear... is there more to this story?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 12 December 2010: He says, "A real g/f would help me out the best she knew how and go to the bank and cash her bonds and give it all to me and be like 'here baby, i know you need this for your daughter'"
That's emotional manipulation... don't buy into it.
I... (read in full...)
Women who have a Facebook account turn me off. Am I alone on this?
Q. Am I the only guy in the world that won't give a girl who has a facebook acct my time of day no matter what? I can't stomach the site. It's foolish, ridiculous, petty and childish sorta like immature teenage mentality. I can understand teenagers ...
A. 12 December 2010: Face-book can be arsenic for insecure relationships in my experience, but at the end of the day it's just a tool and its worth really depends on who's wielding it.
I get where you're coming from and its great to have standards, just try not to r... (read in full...)
I want to be a nice memory for him, not mess him up!
Q. I am single and 40. I transferred to this new job location a year ago. I made many nice new friends. Including B, a 29 year old guy. In the beginning I found him odd, awkward, loud, but brilliant and I assumed he had a form of autism, aspergers, I ...
A. 12 December 2010: Either draw a line in the sand and let him know that this is just a bit of fun and will never lead into anything more, or stop altogether.
Should be pretty easy to pick up whether you're both on the same page or not after that... any sign of ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke up with me saying I exhausted her emotionally
Q. my girlfriend of a year broke up with me a week and a half ago, she said I exhausted her emotionally. She said she didn't want to break up with me but I left her no choice. the break up took 4 hours, after the first hour we had broken up the last 3 ...
A. 12 December 2010: Ok dude, you did come across as pushy there, she clearly cares about you but still needs a bit of space.
General rule of thumb- Don't msg twice in a row without a response. It'll allow her as much space as she wants, though having said that don... (read in full...)
How you get a man is how you lose them?
Q. I want to know if this is true. I heard someone say "how you get a man is how you loose them" i got with a man that was married and he finally left his wife for me. So does that mean he is going to leave me for anothre?...
A. 12 December 2010: It doesn't mean that he will... but since he's done this before and its presumably rewarded him positively, (by being with you), then he's got less mental barriers holding him back from doing the same thing again...
Ever heard of positive rein... (read in full...)
First time sex and the skin on my penis ripped?
Q. Hey i am 15 years old and me and my girlfriend had un protected sex, (shes on the pill so i didnt really think it mattered) it was my first time having sex and the skin on my penis kinda ripped? :\ is this normal or not ):! It was bleeding and hurt...
A. 12 December 2010: Yeh, it'll heal.
Hurts like hell though aye.... (read in full...)
Should I lighten my skin?
Q. I dont like my skin colour. I'm not too dark but i'm not too bright either. How do I lighten my skin? And the real question is.....SHOULD I? Is it a bad thing if I want to?...
A. 12 December 2010: You can't.... (read in full...)
My husband and best friend had sex and blame it on the drink!
Q. SO, in need of some advice- my husband, who've I've been for 6 years and have a son with, has slept with my best friend. After a long night of partying she stayed over at our house. My husband, who was totally drunk, decided to go into her bedroom ...
A. 12 December 2010: Four years of tending bar at a nightclub has taught me one thing about drunks.
It's an influence... not an excuse.
If you choose to get that drunk, then you are responsible for your actions whilst being drunk, as impulsive, instinctive or i... (read in full...)
Should we just spend Christmas with our repsective parents?
Q. My partner and I are both in our 40s and don't have children. My partner's mother was widowed 3 years ago and my mother died 8 months ago. This will be my father's first Christmas without her. I have 4 siblings of which only one is around to be with ...
A. 12 December 2010: For me, (and I'm not alone), Christmas has always been about family... I may not like all of my relatives, but its the one day I'm routinely committed to spending with them every year... Its tradition and its not necessarily a bad thing... I always ... (read in full...)
I am starting to look at other men
Q. My bf's hollier than thou attitude makes me vomit! He's never wrong even when he is wrong. He blames me for everything. And he never apologizes. Like for example this morning I was taking a shower while he was in the kitch. All of a sudden he was ...
A. 12 December 2010: It's lame enough to cry over spilled milk, but to blame someone who was in the shower for milk that they themselves spilled...?
Sounds like he's in the running for "douche-bag of the year" award.
You're starting to look at other men... and... (read in full...)
Lesbian love for my sixth grade math teacher! HELP!
Q. Hey there! Well, I need help. I am in love with my sixth grade math teacher. Now, I know I know you're going to say, "Oh it's just a crush it's just a crush", but I know it's not. This is serious, very serious to the point where I'm obsessed with ...
A. 12 December 2010: "It has to be because she loves me, too."
You need help alright, but its help that only a professional can give. Crushes on teachers are normal, but when that leads to stalking and obsessing- its time to talk to a psych or counselor. You'll b... (read in full...)
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
Q. Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
A. 12 December 2010: I see this as an opportunity to sincerely compliment a person and make myself and the other person feel better...
Wonderful article! Made me smile :D
... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 12 December 2010: To all teenagers crushing on teachers...
Do whatever you want.
Think whatever you want.
If you've read this article then you're aware of the possible consequences of getting involved with a teacher.
Make your own decision... You are the ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend behaving like this?? Am I overreacting?
Q. Why is my boyfriend behaving like this?? Am I overreacting? whenever i see something nice my boyfriend would like i buy him it when i have the money and also cos i know he would like it. my birthday is next week and i don't want him to spend ...
A. 11 December 2010: I never get people the gifts they request, it takes all the motivation, fun and surprise out of gift giving.
It becomes an errand.
I hate errands!! ... (read in full...)
She claims she loves me yet, she cancels our dates?
Q. I have a question that I need someone else's opinion on: I met a woman online and we been on several dates. She tells me that she loves me and wants to be with me (I figured a little early but what the hell) She lives with her grandmother who d...
A. 11 December 2010: This is the honeymoon stage of dating... you're supposed to want to see each other. If this is what she's like now, it'd likely only get much worse down the track.
... (read in full...)
All I want is answers... why???
Q. ~Listening to Bruno Mars- Talking to the moon~ Hello everyone and anyone. i have a story of well my real life heartbreak. Im 25 years old, goodlooking guy. Never really dated seriously too much. Was always the "player". Until one day i met a guy ...
A. 11 December 2010: I'm not gonna pretend I understand just how crushing that would have been to go through, so I'll just say this:
Delete all the photos you have of him. By holding onto them and looking at them every day you're preserving the memory... but is it a ... (read in full...)
Has he really lost his labido or has he found a new woman?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have always had a very healthy sexual relationship and get on really well as a couple. Recently he goes to bed early in order to avoid a cuddle before sleep or if is awake he refuses to touch me or have ...
A. 10 December 2010: I'd lean towards saying he's lost his libido or maybe after 8 years he's just not feeling the "spark" as much.
Unless however there is a notable change in his behavior OUTSIDE of the bedroom that you haven't told us..?
You've known him fo... (read in full...)
We are just friends..so why do I feel guilty?
Q. My bf and I just broke up. We broke up because he said i wasnt his because i had had sex with guys before him. No matter how I tried to explain it he wouldnt understand. He said the only way to make me his was to have sex with me every day, and he ...
A. 10 December 2010: "I got the feeling that he was only interested in sex, but he just doesnt seem like the type."
Trust me, he is the type. When has "having sex everyday" been the solution to ANY problem besides trying to conceive... ... (read in full...)
Who do you prefer, a good boy or a bad boy, both girls and guys opinions matters
Q. Hey this is just a short question. I've been curious, is it true that girls only go for bad boys? I'm usually considered as the good boy which a lot of my female friends told me. So it has always been on my mind for awhile. Girls and guys ...
A. 10 December 2010: In my opinion the problem with this question is that what people SAY they want versus what they are actually ATTRACTED to want can be very different.
I've asked many a girl this question and almost all of them say they want a "good" guy, only to ... (read in full...)
Guys, should a girl be outgoing or hard to get?
Q. Ok, I'd like to clear something up. As a girl, I naturally have some trouble understanding guys. I'm getting 2 different messages from things I read/people I talk to. One is that guys like it when a girl is the friendly one, goes out of her way to t...
A. 10 December 2010: Both ways are true. Not all guys are the same. Just comes down to what the guy likes better. ... (read in full...)
Why do men get defensive when asked to wear condoms?
Q. hi dear aunts and uncles. why men don't like wearing condoms and get defensive when you ask for it? they always throw the 'you don't trust me' line. that doesn't work with me be cause i believe that no glove no love is the best thing to do. but ...
A. 9 December 2010: Sex feels 200-300% better without a condom...
Any old excuse or rationalization not to wear one is just a front for that one reason. ... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat with nasty females?
Q. I have been in two serious realationships both ended with them cheating on me. The problem is the female they choose to cheat with are nasty girls who don't care what they do or who they do it with. So my question is why men cheat with nasty girls...
A. 9 December 2010: Mmm... I'd say yes and no.
If a woman actually knows that she's filling the role of a mistress for a guy then yes, if she's respectable and has half a brain then she'll most likely stay well clear of him...
But if somebody can deceive thei... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat with nasty females?
Q. I have been in two serious realationships both ended with them cheating on me. The problem is the female they choose to cheat with are nasty girls who don't care what they do or who they do it with. So my question is why men cheat with nasty girls...
A. 9 December 2010: Because they're easy.
Nothing more. ... (read in full...)
I chose the wrong guy, now my second choice is taken!
Q. Need some advice! I have a male friend who's been in love with me for years and years. At the start of this year I proposed that we get together to see if there was any spark, he was seeing someone else at the time so said no at first but then ended ...
A. 9 December 2010: Stop messin' with this guys emotions, it sounds like you only want him when you can't have him or there's no-one better around.
If they break up, THEN you can say something. ... (read in full...)
About to get married in 4 months, but I feel nothing!
Q. I'm very confused at this point. I am 22 and about to marry my boyfriend of 4 years in 4 months, and I feel nothing. I'm not overly excited and even though I love him with all my heart and feel he's my soul mate, I feel like we've lost our spark. I ...
A. 8 December 2010: "He says he loves me all the time and is very verbal of his love and affection; however he never expresses anything physically."
If you both communicate, value and display affection differently, no wonder you're feeling neglected...
How doe... (read in full...)
Is this a move that alot of women put on men?
Q. So we just started to date, we're entering our 4th month now and at first we agreed to have a casual relationship, but now she is starting to fall for me (so she says) and is asking me to become exclusive with her.. I'm noticing that she's been very ...
A. 7 December 2010: I agree with danceinthedark.
She clearly made mistakes with the last guy and shes not keen on a repeat occurrence. She's looking after herself and good on her I say.
"Exclusive" committed relationships have perks, perks which don't nece... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. My GF seems to have some concerns over my semen volume and my orgasms lately. She says I sometimes do not cum very much, while other times I cum a LOT. I think she is being a little naive, as many of the times she says I dont cum a lot it is the ...
A. 7 December 2010: "First; ignore all the advice from those males. How on earth would they know what's going on in a females mind?!"
No need to get narky hugglebear, ya don't have to agree with others opinions, but there's no need to steam roll over them aye. ... (read in full...)
What to do with an arrogant surly girlfriend?
Q. my question is to get the discussion started about this my question is has anybody had a girl friend who disreguards cuts you short when you start to talk says honey dont ask that thinks your untrained e.t.c direguards your funny statemen...
A. 7 December 2010: Respect is pretty easy to gain, but once you've lost it... its a massive battle to win back. I'd have a serious talk with her, turn off the TV/radio, sit down at a table together... really let her know that you're not F***ing around. She may not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. My GF seems to have some concerns over my semen volume and my orgasms lately. She says I sometimes do not cum very much, while other times I cum a LOT. I think she is being a little naive, as many of the times she says I dont cum a lot it is the ...
A. 7 December 2010: Tell her to focus on her orgasms and you'll focus on yours.
She's being totally ridiculous here if you ask me... It might be ok if she just wanted you to have the best sex you've ever had, but this sounds like its just to boost her ego...
... (read in full...)
Why did she leave me for him?
Q. Hi there i gess a lot of people hav been and feeling the way i am this is my story. i met this amazing girl when i went to see a friend at uni and i had talked to her before on the phone just as friends but when i met her that all changed i fell for...
A. 7 December 2010: People fall out of love... it happens... it sucks...
Try a NON-LDR next time, hopefully you'll have more luck. You'll fall in love again in time, just have a few drinks, vent to a few friends, purge your house of things that remind you of her a... (read in full...)
I feel like I am at the bottom of his list
Q. My partner of 8 years decided 3/ 4 months ago that he wanted to have some time apart. He said that he loved me but he needed this. Since we have been apart i have only seen him 3 times, the reasons which he said he needed time apart was he...
A. 7 December 2010: You didn't say even once in this post that YOU actually LOVE him...
... (read in full...)
What to do with an arrogant surly girlfriend?
Q. my question is to get the discussion started about this my question is has anybody had a girl friend who disreguards cuts you short when you start to talk says honey dont ask that thinks your untrained e.t.c direguards your funny statemen...
A. 7 December 2010: It's called a lack of respect... Hard to be equals in a relationship without it if you ask me.
If it was me... I dunno, I think after 10 eye-rolls I'd be showing her the door...
But then again, eye-rolling is a BIG pet hate of mine. ... (read in full...)
Why did she leave me for him?
Q. Hi there i gess a lot of people hav been and feeling the way i am this is my story. i met this amazing girl when i went to see a friend at uni and i had talked to her before on the phone just as friends but when i met her that all changed i fell for...
A. 7 December 2010: "i was like why are you telling me this do you not love me anymore she was like yes i do your the only one for me dont worry i think he is playing mind games with me."
Pretty big red flag there mate... to me it kinda implies that if he wasn't p... (read in full...)
No Romance. What should I do?
Q. I've been going out with my Girlfriend for two and a half years. We have had a great sex life life but recently she has never been in the mood and we haven't had sex for a while. My problem is I love her personality, but having no sex is a big put ...
A. 7 December 2010: Best way to jump start romance again is to start it yourself in my opinion... Treat her the way you want to be treated.
Do you still do romantic things for her? Leave her notes in her bag, take her on date nights, arrange spontaneous surprise... (read in full...)
Could he possibly be bi and hasn't discovered it?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in love with my bestfriend for about 5 months. I am 18 years old and my bestfriend is 17 but is very mature for his age. He has no idea how i feel about him. He claims he is gay and is only attracted to men but sometimes he ...
A. 6 December 2010: "After it happened he told me, "this is how i know im gay because im not turned on by your boobs."
"One time he admitted to me that he wished he wasnt gay."
Sorry, but that's a pretty clear sign that he's not bi.
Plus you guys often cuddle or... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 6 December 2010: Don't be so quick to invite teenagers on your band wagon when it could be heading off a cliff...
You haven't been caught... yet. Maybe you should wait until you've had a successful, public and responsible relationship with this teacher as an ex... (read in full...)
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