Like what
he writes?
... Add *mtmj to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *mtmj a private message | | | *mtmj's profile:
A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
|
|
| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
|
Son's girlfriend won't let us see him
Q. Hi everyone. I am a mother of two children. I love them both deeply. My daughter is doing great, has a husband, three boys and just completed college. My son is a great person, but has recently put himself into a tough situation. He met a girl abo...
A. 1 December 2010: Thanks for the update :)... (read in full...)
Dealing with neediness as a male? Any tips...
Q. I always feel a bit weird being a male but being so needy with others. Ive always passed it off as i am a people person and just like to be around others. I always need reassurance from others and hate being on my own. I have had some excellen...
A. 24 November 2010: The neediest guy I ever knew had 5 girlfriends in a row dump him all for that specific reason. Great guy, but calling his girl 80 times within the space of two hours... I've just never seen a worse case of neediness and I honestly thought he'd ... (read in full...)
How do I rectify this?
Q. so was plannign on saying this to my guy at the end of the date tonight as we were sitting in the car: "theres something i need to tell you because its been on my mind- last time i think i got a little caught up in the moment with taking my bra an...
A. 24 November 2010: Perfectly reasonable thing to say. Don't be a chicken, just tell him whenever you like.... (read in full...)
Is she hinting at something?
Q. today i was hanging out with this girl watching TV at her house when this Kays jewelry commercial comes on and as soon as it says "get that special someone a special gift for christmas" or whatever and then they sing "every kiss begins with KAY!" ...
A. 24 November 2010: Are you dating this girl?... (read in full...)
Could this be considered cheating?
Q. Hello everyone I've got a question what actually is cheating? My gf said I cheated on her because I talked to a female friend quite often and I was involved with my friends making a profile for a webcam porn site and because of that she thinks I'm a ...
A. 24 November 2010: Not TECHNICALLY cheating no.
Good-luck convincing her otherwise though...
... (read in full...)
Son's girlfriend won't let us see him
Q. Hi everyone. I am a mother of two children. I love them both deeply. My daughter is doing great, has a husband, three boys and just completed college. My son is a great person, but has recently put himself into a tough situation. He met a girl abo...
A. 24 November 2010: I was once in the clutches of a similar girl, (though luckily no pregnancy). My ex sounds very similar to your sons girlfriend in that she had a personality disorder, was disrespectful to my folks, friends and gradually made me almost eliminate ... (read in full...)
Is she hinting at something?
Q. today i was hanging out with this girl watching TV at her house when this Kays jewelry commercial comes on and as soon as it says "get that special someone a special gift for christmas" or whatever and then they sing "every kiss begins with KAY!" ...
A. 24 November 2010: *sigh*
Please don't buy her anything to win her affections.
I see it every night working behind the bar...
It makes me cringe.... (read in full...)
Does he just want to use me?
Q. okay there's this guy that i really like maybe even love but he has a girlfriend.he knows i like him and he like me as well but likes is girlfriend more so we have been just keeping it as friends.we talked almost every night til about 11:00pm and ...
A. 24 November 2010: If he wanted you he'd be with you and not his girlfriend.
End o' story.
Don't give in to any advance he makes, he's just been testing the waters with you. ... (read in full...)
I want kids but I'm scared to have sex
Q. Im scared to have sex but i want kids and im scared to lose me virginity beacuse i dont want to go there the pain of getting my cherry popped. can someone give me advice???...
A. 24 November 2010: You are WAYYYY too young to be thinking about sex, let alone kids right now... no offense. ... (read in full...)
Was what I did as bad as what she did?
Q. Ok, So I am struggling with my emotions on this issue. So me and my girlfriend are both Christians and we have been dating in an exclusive committed relationship for 3 years. About about a 1 year ago or so I went to an Asian massage parlor and g...
A. 24 November 2010: Yeh it was dude, stop feeling like a great injustice has occurred. You never truly forgave her, you just counteracted your guilt with hers. You need to ACTUALLY forgive her.
The bible has a few words to say on that topic.... (read in full...)
Should I flirt with him to see if he likes me?
Q. I don't know if I like this guy. He's one of my closest friends and I used to be completely in love with him. He's the last guy I was with, which was about 7 months ago, when I say with, I don't mean in a relationship, more of an FWB situation and I ...
A. 24 November 2010: I think you were on the money when you said:
"if he didn't like me before, what has changed that would make him like me now?"
And I'd use that logic when thinking from the other side of the fence, ie:
"if I fell for him once, what has chang... (read in full...)
Should I get mum and dad tattooed onto my inner wrist
Q. should i get my mum and dads name tattooed onto my inner wrist okay i was thinking mum on my right wrist and dad on my left do you think this will look okay ? or do you think it would look better with mummy and daddy ?...
A. 24 November 2010: You'll regret it if you do... and if your parents don't know about this already, I'm 95% sure that they won't be impressed.
Personally I'm waiting til I'm 28-30+ before I get any tattoo's, simply cos I want to make sure that its not going to be...... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make her prefer me over him?
Q. Hi I have just been through the single most painful rejection of my life. The girl who rejected me has been a good friend since I moved here. She has been the only person that I have been able to open up to and has helped me through some tough ...
A. 24 November 2010: Long answer cut short... afraid not dude.... (read in full...)
Is everything completely my fault?
Q. Life has been complete chaos for me in the past month. I am 18 years old and have found my first love. I have been with many guys in my teenage years and have yet to feel as close as I do to my boyfriend. The problems started a few months ago when ...
A. 23 November 2010: Err.. yeh, it is your fault I'm afraid and if you can't handle what it'll take to regain his trust then its time to move on. Do NOT pull out the "if you loved me then you'd forgive me" line to him... he could just as easily flip that back on you ... (read in full...)
I just wish she'd recognise my efforts without me telling her to!
Q. hi. Im feeling really muddled up and im looking for some help... If someone could please reply, i would be extremely appreciative and grateful... Recently i've been doing a lot for my girlfriend and sacrificing a lot to try to keep her happy. H...
A. 23 November 2010: Can you give some examples of what you've done or sacrificed for her that you feel she should recognize without being told?
She isn't a mind reader, so if you're hiding how you're feeling- you can't exactly get upset at her for not question... (read in full...)
What now? I am fed up with our relationship the way it is at the moment!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years in January. We have been having a lot of problems since last year started and it become a bit hard to handle. I feel like we're growing apart and that he's becoming more and more comforta...
A. 23 November 2010: "I said I wanted to be alone and ended the call. He called me twice and left it at that. I waited for him to call me on Saturday and then I called him and ask him why he's so insensitive as this isn't the first time he hadn't been there for me and ... (read in full...)
Penis isn't as erect as before, is too much masturbation the problem?
Q. hi people ... let me introduce me first ... im 20 and im masturbating from 14 i suppose ...... and in recent days i started masturbating too much ..... and only now i noticed that my penis erection is not as strong as it was before ...... if i stop ...
A. 23 November 2010: Sounds like pre-cum, perfectly normal.
If you're really worried then just see a doctor dude. ... (read in full...)
Penis isn't as erect as before, is too much masturbation the problem?
Q. hi people ... let me introduce me first ... im 20 and im masturbating from 14 i suppose ...... and in recent days i started masturbating too much ..... and only now i noticed that my penis erection is not as strong as it was before ...... if i stop ...
A. 23 November 2010: If there's improvement then keep doing what you're doing... no reason to suggest you won't keep improving. ... (read in full...)
How can I not be so boring in my relationships?
Q. well i've been known as the nice guy and whenever Im dating someone it seams like after a week or 2 they just start getting bored of me and the relationship, and i really don't know what to do about it?! ...
A. 23 November 2010: Do you instantly change the way that you treat a girl once you're officially dating?
Do you become SUPER nice, mushy and treat her like a fragile china tea-cup? ... (read in full...)
What's the reasoning behind guys being players?
Q. There's this guy. From the first time girls started paying him attention he's had multiple female "friends" who he's treated as much more than friends. Throughout all this time he also had long-term girlfriends, the first one almost three years and ...
A. 23 November 2010: You're making the assumption that he never told all the other girls that THEY were his ideal girl, his one and only "dream girl" who he wants to marry.
At the end of the day- if you were his ideal girl who he wanted to marry.... he wouldn't... (read in full...)
I don't know if my girl is being genuine and faithful to me
Q. First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your life to hear and possibly help mine. This is a really long and possibly boring story, but it's a story that I need to be looked at and told what to possibly do. It's driving me crazy. Comments ...
A. 21 November 2010: I dated a bi-polar woman on/off for a few years and I could easily write a novel on it, but at the end of the day dude, either you're gonna come to your senses or ya ain't...
So my advice remains...
Run... fast... she's toxic for you. ... (read in full...)
If I'm the perfect girlfriend then why did he break up with me?
Q. This is eating me up inside...My boyfriend of 1 month broke up with me on thursday and his reasons were very unclear, here is some of what he said: I feel like im not being a good boyfriend to you, you have done nothing wrong and you have been the ...
A. 21 November 2010: There's nothing here to interpret.
He wanted to break up and in trying to be respectful and not wanting to hurt your feelings- he just gave you mixed signals. ... (read in full...)
I regret that I texted all of his friends about our breakup!
Q. i sent a text to all of his friends of what he did to me in our break up and now i regret it do i tell him im sorry or do i just leave it alone......
A. 21 November 2010: Wouldn't hurt to text him that you're sorry.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to settle down with me but all my friends are doing it!
Q. My bf and I have been going out for 2 years, which is pretty much the same or more than all of my friends have been going out with theirs. They are all starting to move in together and thinking bout houses and the future and I'd like to do this too. ...
A. 21 November 2010: Well first off, you shouldn't try to compare your relationship based on what your friends relationships like.
Every relationship progresses at a different rate. Though having said that, you should have a serious talk with him about where th... (read in full...)
What kinds of topics should be taboo between married friends of opposite sex?
Q. I posted a question yesterday and I guess I shouldve said that my husband's female friend wants to get a boob job and asked my husband his opinion. She comes to him to discuss problems in her relationship and get advice. They both make sure they ...
A. 21 November 2010: That's too hard to pin down... everybody's different.
Some partners (guys & girls) don't even allow their partner to have opposite sex friendships, so I imagine you'll get answers all across the board here.
I don't like taboo's personal... (read in full...)
After many months I still can't get over my ex
Q. I still cant get over my ex !! :( It's been so many months now..and I still end up thinking about him all the time. I dont know what to do :( :( :(...
A. 21 November 2010: Sometimes lingering breakups are less about the ex and more about the envisioned future you had with them in your mind... so for my own curiosity, did you have plans to marry this ex of yours?
If yes, then I hate to use the old cliche line, bu... (read in full...)
How can I prove that I am not cheating on my husband?
Q. my husband is accusing me of cheating on him witch i haven't. any friend that comes over to our house or from work he always telling me that i cheating on him with our close friends. when i go to work i call him 2 to 3 time in an hour beside the ...
A. 21 November 2010: I can only second blonde30's post.
There just aren't enough situations in a relationship to "PROVE" anything, let alone prove anything constantly for a partner's reassurance.
Ya gotta have trust... If ya don't have trust then you've gotta tal... (read in full...)
Is she just flirting or does she want more?
Q. helo pls help me. if a female (who already has a boyfriend) is inviting me by different signs like twinkling eye, bringing her ass close to me how i will ask her whether she welcoming me for sex, or i m wrong?...
A. 21 November 2010: YOU TALK TO HER!!!... (read in full...)
Who should hold whose hand first?
Q. I'm 14 and my bf is 15. On the first date I was very shy, and I know he was nevrous. After we went home, he sms-ed me said he wanted to hold my hand but he thinks I may slap him. On the next date should I let him hold my hand or should I hold his ...
A. 21 November 2010: Hahaha! I also 100% agree with Vintage64... dear god... am I a "yes-man"??!!
How good were the days when all you had to worry about was holding hands... Bliss. ... (read in full...)
Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to go out with him?
Q. My daughter's boyfriend's uncle is trying to take me out, I am interested, but maybe I am not in the right frame of mind but is this wrong?...something just doesnt sit right with me on this one....aunts and uncles I need your help..!...
A. 21 November 2010: How long ago? Long enough to now be over him?
Even if you now have less faith in relationships in general, you still don't want him back do you?... (read in full...)
Is it possible that a man who has a girlfriend is actually destined to be with you instead?
Q. I met this man by a chance meeting. I noticed him sitting on a bench reading and scribbling notes in his novel. Normally, I would have walked by-- I am not one to initiate any conversation especially since my husband passed away. But for some ...
A. 21 November 2010: I see no harm in suggesting to him that you're interested, maybe via the artist himself... but you've gotta respect that he's in a relationship right now and not try to wedge yourself into his life.
You'd expect that if he was your partner ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be with someone for a year and not have feelings for them?
Q. hello i need some advice is it possible to be in a relationship with someone for a year without having any feelings for you? My g/f and i was together for a year. She moved in with me and everything was fine then she left me but she told friends ...
A. 21 November 2010: Trust her actions, not her words dude.
As far as ascertaining the truth- the gossip of friends is unreliable, twisted and exaggerated at best... and that's when they haven't been told a lie to begin with!
She could have just been venting her... (read in full...)
My ex-wife left me for another man. Should I take her back?
Q. should i take her back .what a beautiful baby we have seven years ,but she wakes up one day.who? my wife. she tells me am a poor man .ok. Go ,she leaves only for me to find out there was another man they now have a kid. but she is in truoble i love ...
A. 21 November 2010: Why is she in trouble exactly?
If she's in trouble then that kinda suggests to me that she could be using you if she wants you back- instead of wanting you back because she genuinely loves you.
But yeh, more information would be fantast... (read in full...)
I don't think there's anyone out there for me!
Q. I am 36 years old and never had an relationship before. There is must be something wrong with me. I am at the point of giving up finding someone.I go out to clubs, date, and even been on many single sites. I believe that no one out there is out ...
A. 21 November 2010: Could you give us some more information on yourself and how you relate to women in general? Otherwise we can only speculate what could be holding you back...
I will say this though... there is someone out there for everyone, I absolute... (read in full...)
Jealous about girlfriend's past! Am I too sensitive?
Q. Hi again , I've porblem jelousing my girlfrined about her past .. she had some guys before and some time i hate the feeling .. do u guys feel same???? or im so sensitive ??? what can help me ??? thaks all ...
A. 21 November 2010: Normal feelings for many guys dude. If you want to look it up on google or on this site- its often referred to as "retroactive jealousy".
You're not over-sensitive, but you do need to mull over whether this is a deal-breaker for you or not with... (read in full...)
He's leading up to sex and I"m a virgin!
Q. ive been seeing this guy for almost 2 months, im 21- he is my first relationship (but we're not exclusive/official etc) im going to talk to him about going slow with the physical stuff as im not ready to go below the belt, and feel like he may be e...
A. 21 November 2010: Its a relationship but its not exclusive?? Its totally up to you how you lose your virginity, but I personally think that if you aren't in love with him that you should at least be exclusive.
At the end of the day, if your first time isn't "s... (read in full...)
What does sexually active mean?
Q. the question says it all really what does it mean to be sexually active...
A. 21 November 2010: The key difference is the wording...
If someone asks ARE you sexually active.
versus
If someone asks you HAVE you BEEN sexually active.
From a medical viewpoint the first statement is asking if you're having sex regularly or have ... (read in full...)
Penis isn't as erect as before, is too much masturbation the problem?
Q. hi people ... let me introduce me first ... im 20 and im masturbating from 14 i suppose ...... and in recent days i started masturbating too much ..... and only now i noticed that my penis erection is not as strong as it was before ...... if i stop ...
A. 21 November 2010: If you've been masturbating to a lot of porn then perhaps you've "seen too much" and its harder to get aroused...?
If so then quit the porn, quit masturbating for a few weeks/months and see if there's a difference. If you're really worried ... (read in full...)
Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to go out with him?
Q. My daughter's boyfriend's uncle is trying to take me out, I am interested, but maybe I am not in the right frame of mind but is this wrong?...something just doesnt sit right with me on this one....aunts and uncles I need your help..!...
A. 21 November 2010: Wouldn't kill you to at least meet him before disqualifying him... No woman wakes up saying, "God I hope I DON'T get swept off my feet today"... (lol hitch)
Are you worried that if there is something there and your daughter and her boyfrien... (read in full...)
Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to go out with him?
Q. My daughter's boyfriend's uncle is trying to take me out, I am interested, but maybe I am not in the right frame of mind but is this wrong?...something just doesnt sit right with me on this one....aunts and uncles I need your help..!...
A. 21 November 2010: Wouldn't kill you to at least meet him before disqualifying him... No woman wakes up saying, "God I hope I DON'T get swept off my feet today"... (lol hitch)
Are you worried that if there is something there and your daughter and her boyfrien... (read in full...)
Condoms in the cupboard
Q. Found condoms in boyfriends cupboard...expired 2009. He said used with wife in 2004 then forgot about them. Ive Been with him since 2005 Does that make sense? ...
A. 21 November 2010: Just checked my condoms... they expire in 5 years, but that doesn't mean they weren't on sale at the service station for a year or two.
Don't read too much into this. ... (read in full...)
Who should hold whose hand first?
Q. I'm 14 and my bf is 15. On the first date I was very shy, and I know he was nevrous. After we went home, he sms-ed me said he wanted to hold my hand but he thinks I may slap him. On the next date should I let him hold my hand or should I hold his ...
A. 21 November 2010: 100% agree with followtheblackrabbit.... (read in full...)
What does sexually active mean?
Q. the question says it all really what does it mean to be sexually active...
A. 21 November 2010: It means you're having sex regularly... more or less.... (read in full...)
I don't know if my girl is being genuine and faithful to me
Q. First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your life to hear and possibly help mine. This is a really long and possibly boring story, but it's a story that I need to be looked at and told what to possibly do. It's driving me crazy. Comments ...
A. 20 November 2010: Run... fast... she's toxic for you. ... (read in full...)
| *mtmj's friends
These are mutual friends, so *mtmj has
added them and they have added *mtmj!
|
