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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 5 February 2011: Hah, that's kinda funny... but kinda disappointing.
Are you still paranoid though? Is your relationship good otherwise? Are you enjoying the game even if he's not playing?? :)... (read in full...)
Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 3 December 2010: Try to be involved in the decision process about what game you end up playing. I'm sure he won't mind giving you a run down on what each game is supposedly like.
No point playing a game that he likes and you think is stupid.
:) Good-luck ... (read in full...)
Frustrated and confused ... What's missing?
Q. Hello DearCupid... I am frustrated and confused. I am in love with a coworker. I've been stuck in a status quo for quite a while now. There's something missing but I don't know what it is or why it's there. To keep it simple: 1. We're both...
A. 1 December 2010: "I don't want to spill my guts as we work together in a small firm and I don't want to make anything weird for her"
What if she feels the same way?
Has she rejected you before or told you she only wants to be friends?... (read in full...)
What is with his kisses?
Q. hi my boyfriend and i have been together for 2years and everytime we kiss he always just pek kisses me why is that?...
A. 1 December 2010: Very odd indeed... Is he a germophobe? Could this just be an excuse to distract from the real reason?
There's gotta be more to this and I think you should have a good chat with him about WTF is up... (kids still use "wtf" right? I'm with dir... (read in full...)
Why should everything be on his terms?
Q. My bf is very traditional. He wants to do everything in stages - which is nice and all but these stages are very far spaced. . The first gap is being together 5yrs before he'll consider sharing a house/apartment with me. I want to have my first ...
A. 1 December 2010: How long have you been dating?
These sound like estimations of time, I doubt that he's got a date marked 5 years down the track whereby when the clock strikes midnight that he'll suddenly be ready to move in with you.
Unless you think that h... (read in full...)
Why is my chemistry teacher avoiding me?
Q. im really confused. i've had a teacher for about a year now, he teaches me chemistry and i really like him! hes so funny, kind and willing to help you to understand even if it means making himself look stupid. i noticed that hes been looking at me ...
A. 1 December 2010: So basically you want to know that he has feelings for you and you won't get shot down if you profess your love for him...?
We've told you what we think, are you just waiting for someone to tell you that he 100% absolutely loves you??
Do what... (read in full...)
Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 1 December 2010: Yeh, can't hurt to try it.
Plus in addition to being able to talk to him for hours, (buy a cheap head-set), you can also jump, dance and should you feel the need... kill each other. :D... (read in full...)
What do guys look for when they want a long term relationship?
Q. What do guys look for in a girl they want to date/have a long term relationship with?...
A. 1 December 2010: A girl who's laid back and doesn't let life faze her too much.... (read in full...)
What's with this threesome double standard?
Q. My boyfriend told me he'd like to try a threesome. I told him I'd do it but that I'd also like a threesome but with another guy. He went from totally enthusiastic that I said yes to furious. I told him I didn't want him to do anything with the other ...
A. 1 December 2010: High five for saying that to him! :D... (read in full...)
Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 1 December 2010: You're worried he's going to meet another girl on world of warcraft??
*blink* :|
Give the game a shot, its a chance to bond with your boyfriend- he'll love you for it and you may even find it fun yourself...
How to make sure it doesn't go ... (read in full...)
How often should a couple speak throughout the day?
Q. What is considered the "norm" for how much a couple should speak throughout the day?...
A. 1 December 2010: It varies on the individuals in the couple.
Too much contact and some people might back off, give short responses in text or on the phone- that's a good hint that they probably need space.
Too little contact and some people can feel neglect... (read in full...)
Son's girlfriend won't let us see him
Q. Hi everyone. I am a mother of two children. I love them both deeply. My daughter is doing great, has a husband, three boys and just completed college. My son is a great person, but has recently put himself into a tough situation. He met a girl abo...
A. 1 December 2010: Thanks for the update :)... (read in full...)
Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Q. Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...
A. 1 December 2010: You're so wise.
You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.
:)
... (read in full...)
What could I do to get him? Should I try making him jealous?
Q. Heey. I recently broke things off with the guy i liked because he said he isn't looking for a relationship as he isn't willing to work and is too immature for one. He said that he prefers to be single. He also implied he isn't looking for sex beca...
A. 29 November 2010: Making him jealous isn't going to suddenly make him want to be in a relationship with you. ... (read in full...)
I feel like my penis is dead!
Q. hi people ... im 20 and i feel as if my penis is dead ...my penis not getting erection and without erection i was able to masturbate ( ie sperm came out without the erection itself ) ... now i feel as if it wont erect again ..... im really worried ...
A. 29 November 2010: see a doctor dude.... (read in full...)
Why don't men approach me?
Q. i don't understand why men don't approach me? is it because i am not attractive enough? someone please help me?????? ...
A. 29 November 2010: Why don't you try approaching? ... (read in full...)
How many texts/calls a day is considered too needy or clingy?
Q. What is considered too needy or clingy? How many phone calls/texts a day? And how much can we expect phone calls/texts/communication back from a person without expecting too much?...
A. 28 November 2010: Everybody is different, there's no rulebook on this. ... (read in full...)
6 times a day, is this enough?
Q. Ok I know its not bad to wack off I do it atleast 6 times a day when is enough?...
A. 26 November 2010: Atleast 6 times every single day? While that's not necessarily unhealthy.... and for some maybe even normal...
I think that's a tad excessive.
You're kinda wasting your life away as that's a lot of time out of the day that you're losing when ... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't want children and I think I might be pregnant!
Q. My husband and I have been happily married for 5 years, I'm a teacher and he works as a Physical Trainer for pediatrics hospital, as you can imagine we are both great with kids ... My husband said he doesn't want any children, which is heartbr...
A. 26 November 2010: GET A PREGNANCY TEST!
Seriously, there is no point worrying about something that may not even happen.
Have you posted on here before regarding this?... (read in full...)
My 25 year old wife hates sex... why????
Q. My wife and I have been married over a year and it gets worse everyday. I'm 24 and she is 25. For the first year she never liked sex. Now she won't let me touch her, kiss her, hug her, and she is mean. During sex, she rushes me, tells me to ...
A. 26 November 2010: Err... could she have fallen out of love with you?... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about boyfriends cheapness
Q. I have been dating a wonderful man for 10 months now and I can't imagine my life without him. My only issue is that due to the economy I am unemployed and struggling to support my son. My boyfriend flaunts his money around and buys himself ...
A. 25 November 2010: What have you done to find a job and how long have you been unemployed? Also, how old is your son?... (read in full...)
Please help me understand this man
Q. Simple. I like a certain guy even when I have a bf. Forget my bf for a while, pls. This guy looks like also likes me but I am not sure how much. We text at times where I start it and re responds always. He is working,busy. And is v sweet to me, all ...
A. 25 November 2010: It sounds more like he's just shy... anything else would just be speculative.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to have sex with her friend just once to see if anything is there?
Q. I need some advice... My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years now, late last year she started to hang out with a friend who she used to know, he seemed nice to me, a bit weird but he was okay. Last December she went through a r...
A. 25 November 2010: Dump that selfish hoe.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks at porn all the time! He won't stop or understand my feelings
Q. my boyfriend looks at porn and we have sex all the time and i mean more than once so i dont understand y he has to look at porn...and when i ask him about it he gets mad and doesnt talk to me i dont know what to do please help me...
A. 25 November 2010: "my advise is to make sure he walks in on you watching porn with a lot of men in it and then he will know how you feel."
Problem with that is this... what if he's fine with you watching it? Then when you say "please don't watch porn" he can say-... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to let him know how I feel?
Q. a guy im close to i couldnt stay around him as much as i use to because im inlove with him and he knows it. he says alot to keep me at reach like when i told him if he dont want to be with me just tell me, he says thats not it he just approachs ...
A. 25 November 2010: "Boys are very different to us girls and sometimes do have trouble showing how they feel. When they think they like someone they get scared and sometimes shut themselves off from that person this is because boys don't know how to deal with it ... (read in full...)
My gf wants me to have a bigger penis, how do I handle this??
Q. I've got a question recently me and my gf had a talk about my penis and she says that she wants it thicker I asked her why and she said why not. I know that all those pills are scams aswell as mentioned exercises but is there any way to make it ...
A. 25 November 2010: BimBim said it and I'll second it.
I'm sure she'd love it if you told her you wanted her to have bigger breasts. ... (read in full...)
B/f only wants me for sex now!
Q. my live in boyfriend of 5 years has moved me out and only wants me for sex for the last year. any way i can get him back...
A. 25 November 2010: More details?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is amazing! Should I just accept her kindness and stop complaining?
Q. I do not know how I got so lucky as to snatch up my amazing and beautiful girlfriend; I would be lost in so many ways without her. I've had a thing for her for a while now but all throughout high school, she would be my friend and nothing more. Then ...
A. 25 November 2010: So basically you're feeling a little inadequate and undeserving of her?
Money is great, but it doesn't buy long term happiness... have a look at all the posts on this site and try to see how many of the problems could be solved simply by throwing... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and his father's relationship. Should I say anything or stay out of it?
Q. My boyfriend's father is in town for a visit and this is the first time I have met him. They have a complicated and unhappy history, which I admit I can't possibly know all of. My boyfriend is super-stressed, because his dad is fairly high ...
A. 25 November 2010: Well test the waters first. If one time you genuinely believe his father is not being intentionally malicious or rude and your boyfriend is upset then suggest exactly that and see how he reacts. If he reacts badly then just bite your tongue from ... (read in full...)
1st date advice?
Q. I am going on a date with someone from my school, any advice for the first date (holding hands etc). We are going to see a movie fyi....
A. 25 November 2010: Holding hands... well you can't really go THAT wrong here, people shake hands all the time so its not exactly a "private area". Be assertive, just take her hand when you feel that she's shown enough interest in you to suggest she's keen on being ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks at porn all the time! He won't stop or understand my feelings
Q. my boyfriend looks at porn and we have sex all the time and i mean more than once so i dont understand y he has to look at porn...and when i ask him about it he gets mad and doesnt talk to me i dont know what to do please help me...
A. 25 November 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/admit-it-guys-youre-fantasizing-about-the-girls.html
The responses to this article may help you understand why he looks at porn. Bottom line, there's not a great chance that he'll stop, so you can either try to u... (read in full...)
I love him but he is not treating me like I want to be treated, what do I do??
Q. I am the mother to a beautiful 9 month old son who is my world. His father and I are together and we all live in the same house. I am currently pregnant again and have spotted the entire pregnancy so am on light bed rest and was told not to get ...
A. 25 November 2010: For the pregnancy illiterate, what does "spotted the entire pregnancy" mean??
What addiction does he have if you don't mind me asking?... (read in full...)
Has anyone experienced a date canceling twice, should I forget him??
Q. I went out on a first date with a guy I met a party and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers and talked and texted every night for weeks before going out on a date. The date went well...as well as first dates can go. And he asked me out again that ...
A. 25 November 2010: "Grrr, i hate dating. I want to skip all this and go straight to the cuddling on the sofa in pj's part. :("
Amen to that.
I think you already know what you should do in regards to this guy...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife is still the center of his and his family's life!
Q. My boyfriend's ex-wife is still in the centre of his and his family's life and I dont like it ... When we met he already had a holiday book with her and the children as they were both single and good friends. I was OK about it as I thought friend...
A. 25 November 2010: In response to the anonymous:
She doesn't have to accept it... and its perfectly understandable to want to be number 1 priority to a partner. I certainly want to be. But this man is clearly not going to change his priorities and that's understa... (read in full...)
Why is my chemistry teacher avoiding me?
Q. im really confused. i've had a teacher for about a year now, he teaches me chemistry and i really like him! hes so funny, kind and willing to help you to understand even if it means making himself look stupid. i noticed that hes been looking at me ...
A. 25 November 2010: "Contrary to what many people seem to claim on here, it's not at all uncommon for teachers to become attracted to students. It confuses me why it's always seen as the student making stuff up."
And what are your reliable sources on that statemen... (read in full...)
Why is my chemistry teacher avoiding me?
Q. im really confused. i've had a teacher for about a year now, he teaches me chemistry and i really like him! hes so funny, kind and willing to help you to understand even if it means making himself look stupid. i noticed that hes been looking at me ...
A. 24 November 2010: So basically you're just here so that people can tell you that yes, he shares your undying love.
You are beyond help.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't like kissing after oral sex
Q. Hello dear readers: ok i have a sex issue, i'm with my gf 1year and 4 months....and every time in bed i want to make some kunilingus and make her happy she doesn't want it she told me that every time i do it well she likes it but then we kiss and ...
A. 24 November 2010: Courtesy wipe, swig of water... takes all of 3 seconds.... (read in full...)
Why is my chemistry teacher avoiding me?
Q. im really confused. i've had a teacher for about a year now, he teaches me chemistry and i really like him! hes so funny, kind and willing to help you to understand even if it means making himself look stupid. i noticed that hes been looking at me ...
A. 24 November 2010: "maybe now i am expecting too much, its just i know its wrong and i know people will think its only a crush get over it and he wouldnt risk his job for a 17 year old but i truely love him."
You don't love him, you've got a school girl crush. ... (read in full...)
I caught a shy girl staring at me, but she didn't look away?
Q. I was in class, and looked up at my surroundings and i caught this shy girl in class staring at me. When i locked my eyes on her, she did not want to look away, and eventually my back felt funny and i just HAD to look away. Can someone ...
A. 24 November 2010: She could like you... or she could think your hair cut is funny. Only way to find out is to actually talk to her.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife is still the center of his and his family's life!
Q. My boyfriend's ex-wife is still in the centre of his and his family's life and I dont like it ... When we met he already had a holiday book with her and the children as they were both single and good friends. I was OK about it as I thought friend...
A. 24 November 2010: If you can't accept that they are a massive part of his life and try to integrate yourself into it or just accept it, then I'd skip the B.S. and have the talk with him ASAP.
I've always thought of christmas time as family time first and foremost... (read in full...)
What kind of dirty talk do guys like during sex?
Q. So this is gonna sound kind of dumb, buttt when you're talking dirty during a blow job or sex or whatever, what exactly do guys like to hear?...
A. 24 November 2010: Dirty talk... ergh... major turn off for me.
Having a girl trying too hard, getting her words muddled and basically blurting out that she was going to "stick her d*ck in me"...
Hilarious and scarring at the same time.
Pretty much ruine... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend and I don't want to come between them...but I love her. What should I do?
Q. Hi i have a situation, i've had feelings for this girl for 10 years (yea i knw its a lot), (we went to the same school thu :( ) but i haven't told her about my feelings yet, anyways i have been getting close to her lately but she acts to be ...
A. 24 November 2010: You're going to have to move on mate. She knew you had feelings for her all along and yet she still dated other guys, so she's clearly never going to be interested in you in that way. Don't mistakenly think that if they break up that she's ... (read in full...)
Dealing with neediness as a male? Any tips...
Q. I always feel a bit weird being a male but being so needy with others. Ive always passed it off as i am a people person and just like to be around others. I always need reassurance from others and hate being on my own. I have had some excellen...
A. 24 November 2010: The neediest guy I ever knew had 5 girlfriends in a row dump him all for that specific reason. Great guy, but calling his girl 80 times within the space of two hours... I've just never seen a worse case of neediness and I honestly thought he'd ... (read in full...)
Son's girlfriend won't let us see him
Q. Hi everyone. I am a mother of two children. I love them both deeply. My daughter is doing great, has a husband, three boys and just completed college. My son is a great person, but has recently put himself into a tough situation. He met a girl abo...
A. 24 November 2010: I was once in the clutches of a similar girl, (though luckily no pregnancy). My ex sounds very similar to your sons girlfriend in that she had a personality disorder, was disrespectful to my folks, friends and gradually made me almost eliminate ... (read in full...)
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