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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am single and 40. I transferred to this new job location a year ago. I made many nice new friends. Including B, a 29 year old guy. In the beginning I found him odd, awkward, loud, but brilliant and I assumed he had a form of autism, aspergers, I just assumed I never asked. I found out he lived at home with his mom, (sweet, I met her). Then I thought he was gay, because he loves fashion, dresses flashy (when not in business attire) I teased him endlessly, then he told me was a virgin and didn't know what he preferred, I pointed out hot pretty girls and guys and would ask him hot or cold? He was hot for most girls. I am an average female, could stand to lose a few pounds, he encourages me to not skip gym, eat this not that etc. It's been fun hanging out. I dated other men during my friendship with B. He was nice to some, nasty to others. In October he asked me for a blowjob. I like him a lot but my feelings for him flow towards tenderness, not lusty. Sooooo I did it, and then I did one more time in November. No big deal, I like him, he is my friend. Fwb? I'm old enough to know about consequences. But we are now in December and I've been giving him a blowjob at the office since the 1st of the month. He never asks, we just look at each other and know it's time for it. I'm ok with just bjs, because I don't feel particularly sexy as I tend to indulge in seasonal yummies. He is still a great friend and co-worker. There has been no weird awkward feelings between us, UNTIL now, when over the weekend he sent me texts with "hey gorgeous, or hi beautiful," I ignored the first one because I thought it was sent by mistake. Tomorrow is Monday. I like bjs, I like B, i like together alot..But I know this is just fun, should I make a list of dos and don'ts.( Do be normal, don't kiss me, do enjoy the moment, don't get carried away.) I know he is a virgin. I want to respect that he will eventually meet a nice young girl, and start a family. I want to be a nice memory for him I don't want to mess him up! Should I stop what I'm doing now? Will it confuse him? Please help me.
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male
reader, meestal  +, writes (12 December 2010):
Sorry, you're messing him up already. Might as well go all the way -- whether or not he will be messed up as result, depends more on him than on you. Think about it, what if you leave him and he gets messed up by another women? That would be waste of a perfectly good opportunity for you and him, two people who like each other pretty damn well, to get to know each other a bit better!
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Either draw a line in the sand and let him know that this is just a bit of fun and will never lead into anything more, or stop altogether.
Should be pretty easy to pick up whether you're both on the same page or not after that... any sign of too much emotional attachment and it may be cold turkey time in my opinion.
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