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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 5 February 2011: Hah, that's kinda funny... but kinda disappointing.
Are you still paranoid though? Is your relationship good otherwise? Are you enjoying the game even if he's not playing?? :)... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 12 December 2010: To all teenagers crushing on teachers...
Do whatever you want.
Think whatever you want.
If you've read this article then you're aware of the possible consequences of getting involved with a teacher.
Make your own decision... You are the ... (read in full...)
Could he possibly be bi and hasn't discovered it?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in love with my bestfriend for about 5 months. I am 18 years old and my bestfriend is 17 but is very mature for his age. He has no idea how i feel about him. He claims he is gay and is only attracted to men but sometimes he ...
A. 6 December 2010: "After it happened he told me, "this is how i know im gay because im not turned on by your boobs."
"One time he admitted to me that he wished he wasnt gay."
Sorry, but that's a pretty clear sign that he's not bi.
Plus you guys often cuddle or... (read in full...)
Crushes on teachers
Q. Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
A. 6 December 2010: Don't be so quick to invite teenagers on your band wagon when it could be heading off a cliff...
You haven't been caught... yet. Maybe you should wait until you've had a successful, public and responsible relationship with this teacher as an ex... (read in full...)
He called me a prostitute! I'm his mistress!
Q. I'm having an affair with a married man. Well today his wife caught us in a hotel and called me a prostitute? Then she started fighting my man and in the midst he told her I didn't mean nothhing to him but a prostitute! Wtf?! I'm a mistress! Will ...
A. 6 December 2010: Well he was still with his wife whilst at the same time seeing you. You were always going to lose in a standoff where he had to choose to be with either his wife or you.
Surely you can see that...... (read in full...)
He hit me! Did I deserve it?
Q. So I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a year and a half. I have a 7 month old child with him. I just moved into my own condo. He does not live with me due to his alcoholism. I was at his house visiting him and watching the football ...
A. 6 December 2010: No woman deserves to be hit by a man... ever...... (read in full...)
How do I make her realize what she did was very foolish
Q. My girlfriend went visit a friend at college. She's 17 and went to a college party and drank alcohol. I wasn't mad about that, but she hasn't drank large amounts of alcohol all at once ever. She told me she had 9 shots, 3 mixed drinks, and 2 beers ...
A. 6 December 2010: If it was a one time thing, why are you so worried? What can you do? Don't get me wrong, I totally get your concern, really I do, but she's not going to learn a lesson by you simply telling her that she should.
Damn near everybody I know dra... (read in full...)
Where have all the good, single men gone?
Q. Ok so I'm a single mom of 2 and I'm 21. I also go to school at nights. I want to kno how I can meet a good guy and wher do u meet theese good guys? I always find assholes and cheaters I can't seem to pic them well. And I don't have much free time ...
A. 6 December 2010: Well do you live in a city? Cos if you live in a small country town or something then online dating is gonna be your best chance at finding a good single guy...
But you may have to trawl for him. ... (read in full...)
Why was I dealt all the bad cards when it comes to love?
Q. Why was I dealt all the bad cards when it comes to love?I've never had any luck keeping a man.I'm not happy with anything about me so all my life I go to married men for love because they don't have to put effort into me other than having sex with ...
A. 6 December 2010: Dealt bad cards?? Sounds more like you've shuffled through the whole deck looking for the bad cards!!
You're specifically targeting married men... I'm still confused as to why... but I think there's much more to this when it comes to your rea... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend trying to manipulate me as if I did something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend did something innapropriate. He flirted with another woman. He specifically asked me not to flirt with other men. I approached him about it, first he tried to act like he was joking, then he blatantly lied about it. But he never ...
A. 6 December 2010: Valid point dirtball... touche...
Care for a crumpet? :)... (read in full...)
I am being ignored by my boyfriend! Am I too clingy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a month on wednesday. We met about a month and a half before we actually got together, and our personalities just clicked right away. It's a long distance relationship at the moment with plans to move closer to each ...
A. 6 December 2010: Just a thought, but have you considered joining him on WoW?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-being-too-paranoid-do-i-have.html... (read in full...)
How can I attract a guy at a college party and be more sociable?
Q. I am a 19 year old girl in college. I enjoy hanging out with friends, trying new things, participating in clubs, but my question is about the party scene. I enjoy going to parties- dancing, drinking, hanging out, etc. However, I always hear stories ...
A. 6 December 2010: I'm not entirely sure there's a problem here.
I say that you should just keep doing what you're doing, keep going to parties and talk to as many people as you can. Stop listening to stories, they're probably embellished anyways. ... (read in full...)
I am being ignored by my boyfriend! Am I too clingy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a month on wednesday. We met about a month and a half before we actually got together, and our personalities just clicked right away. It's a long distance relationship at the moment with plans to move closer to each ...
A. 6 December 2010: Well he could be busy... You could be being a tad clingy... maybe its a combination of both. Who knows. That's the problem with LDR's, the distance and uncertainty.
I'm confused though, have you actually met this guy in person ever?... (read in full...)
He failed to mention he has a girlfriend!
Q. OK, here goes. I met someone at a local bar. We got chatting, got on really well. He asked me what i was doing later, and if i'd like to come into town with him as he was meeting friends. I agreed. (we have friends in common) We bumped inot his ...
A. 6 December 2010: Pretty good indicator of how he'd treat you in a relationship don't ya think...... (read in full...)
WIth our history and families being friends, we might be together forever?
Q. ok 1st of all im sorry this is kinda long but thanks for the answers that yall give me! me and my boyfriend have been going out for 7 months! we have MAJOR history with each other for example we have known each other since we were 4 years old! we've ...
A. 6 December 2010: Sounds promising, but its best not to think too much about the future of a relationship as you might build up your expectations of your partner which can be crushing when they aren't fulfilled. So don't go making a wedding ideas scrapbook just yet ... (read in full...)
Men, what are your favourite sex positions and why?
Q. Men, what are your favorite sex positions and why?...
A. 6 December 2010: Depends really...
Some positions feel better/more friction.
Some give you better access to touch/kiss/eye contact.
Some give you an awesome view of everything.
All are turn-on's but there tends to be a trade off of one of them in most p... (read in full...)
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!
Q. I am divorced with 3 children but for almost 3 years I have been with "Joseph". We took the first year fairly slow despite very strong feelings on both ends. It did not take long for us to fall completely in love and he has since become a part of ...
A. 6 December 2010: "He told me that his therapist advised him to make female friends to talk to and that it would help him appreciate me more."
I'm not a therapist, but that doesn't sound like something a licensed therapist would advise someone who's in a committe... (read in full...)
My social awkwardness needs to stop!
Q. heyy. so i'm a 16 year old junior girl in highschool and as long as i can remember i've been really shy and socially awkward. i only hav a few friends but i want more.i absolutely dont do any extracurricular activities cuz i'm so scared of wat ppl ...
A. 4 December 2010: Social skills are exactly that... a skill at being social.
and how do we learn a skill?
We practice.
The more we practice, the better we get.
This is exactly the same with social skills. There is no magic pill for getting rid of so... (read in full...)
Would you consider this to be fate?
Q. I was asked by a guy I like (who I met on the last night of my visit in Veags) if I believe in fate. I said yes. And then he asked me if I think we met because of it, and I said yes and that I believe everything happens for a reason. Then I asked ...
A. 4 December 2010: It's probably nothing, but I've heard pretty much the exact same lines come out of a pick up artists mouth to a girl before...
Nothing to be alarmed about, just something to think about.... (read in full...)
Advice for an ugly duckling?
Q. im 14 yrs old i 've been made fun since i was very little. I was always the ugliest one the one who had a hard time making friend the one who everyone felt bad for. And the one who everyone picked on the one, who everone thought was gay. The one ...
A. 4 December 2010: "You have heard of the story of the ugly duckling have you not? The ugly duckling eventually turned into a beautiful swan - and so will you."
Very, very true Dorothy. Some of the most beautiful women I know said they were ugly through high sch... (read in full...)
I hope my ex doesn't see those harsh texts I sent him!
Q. This is a very fresh prob, it literally happened today. Basically I broke up with my ex about a month ago and we agreed to stay friends although we hardly talk. It ended kinda abruptly and I think there are still feelings on both sides but we are ...
A. 4 December 2010: You've pre-apologized to him, I'm sure he'd understand you were just upset. Just forget it aye. ... (read in full...)
He always enjoys the sex but I don't!
Q. i have a problem, and i dont know what to do about it.... my boyfriend and i... ugh im not pleasured by our sex... BUT HE ALWAYS IS. i dont know how to tell him that im not because i dont want to make him do something he doesnt want too. but its ...
A. 4 December 2010: Just to be clear, we're talking about him going down on you right? Why do you think that he doesn't want to? ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend could do so much better than me!
Q. sigghh. i have so much i want too tell my boyfriend. like the fact that i think he could do SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, because of my past i refer to my self as abnormal i do have a lot wrong with me, and i really love him and want the best for him.. ...
A. 4 December 2010: Does anybody out there actually refer to themselves as "normal"? As cerberus said, we all have flaws. We're all a bit quirky... and in the end, isn't that really what makes relationships so intriguing?
He clearly sees something in you that you... (read in full...)
Should she continue to see him?
Q. My friend has been dating this guy for almost a year, and hasn't asked her to be his girlfriend yet. During their romantic involvement, he's courted her on many dates (cruises, shopping sprees, lavish dinners, etc), which have been fully paid for on ...
A. 4 December 2010: They're already together... just cos a relationship doesn't have a title, doesn't mean its doomed to fail.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to go back to his place on a first date?
Q. Hi I met a guy and we are going on a date. If he asked me back to his house after the date should I go? Is this ok on a first date? I have no intention of sleeping with him this quickly, so there will not be any sex, but if he offers to contin...
A. 4 December 2010: If you aren't open to the possibility of anything happening then DON'T step foot in the door!!
I feel like I'm almost betraying the brotherhood here but this is the bottom line...
Birdynumnums is right, we'll find any old excuse to get a ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend trying to manipulate me as if I did something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend did something innapropriate. He flirted with another woman. He specifically asked me not to flirt with other men. I approached him about it, first he tried to act like he was joking, then he blatantly lied about it. But he never ...
A. 4 December 2010: Flirting is such a broad term. One persons flirting is another persons conversation... so what exactly did he do/say and in what context.
I just think its a bit presumptuous to assume this is some kind of power play until we know that he's act... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 3 December 2010: Here's another great quote.
"Your job is to treat the man you're really really crazy about like the man you're not that interested in. Don't call, be busy, do all of this from the beginning, from day one, from the second you meet him, or should w... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 3 December 2010: Ahh yes, "the rules"
"The purpose of the rules is to make mr right obsessed with having you as his by making yourself seem unobtainable" ... page 4
UNOBTAINABLE...
Yeh... winning advice there.... (read in full...)
STD HPV2.. tell him or not?
Q. I have hpv 2 and i'm starting to see this guy. Should I tell him? I really like him, and i want him to leave his girlfriend for me. But I have this issue, and I think if I tell him he wont leave her for me. But we have been hanging out and talking a ...
A. 3 December 2010: You tell him... no "if's", "but's" or "maybe's".
... (read in full...)
Coping with my fiance's extremely promiscuous past
Q. I'm falling apart trying to deal with my fiance's questionable past. I've been reading similar posts from other guys on the subject for the past few months, and although they've helped a bit, the extreme nature of my case leads me to create my own ...
A. 3 December 2010: Oh, this isn't just about her past, this is about her present and future... It's a treasure chest of problems.
I challenge you to find one "non anonymous" person on this site who seriously thinks that you guys have a future together. You've b... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 3 December 2010: Kinda asking for this to back fire on yourself by putting a 3 day deadline on this, he's not a mind-reader and there's no point playing games like this. Especially when the other person doesn't know the game's even started, let alone the rules. ... (read in full...)
Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 3 December 2010: Try to be involved in the decision process about what game you end up playing. I'm sure he won't mind giving you a run down on what each game is supposedly like.
No point playing a game that he likes and you think is stupid.
:) Good-luck ... (read in full...)
Do I begin giving him an ultimatum when I know that might backfire on me?
Q. I've had a boyfriend for almost 6 years now. He's a great guy, and I'm in love with him, and can see our future life together as being a beautiful thing. He's had a tough life though. His dad died when he was 16, and his grandfather only a few ...
A. 3 December 2010: Its all very well speculating about OCD, depression... even BPD (curious as to why that was suggested), but he needs to ACTUALLY be diagnosed by a professional. He hasn't actually been "diagnosed" with OCD has he?
Book an appointment with a d... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 3 December 2010: So lemme get this straight...
You told him that you LIKE TALKING TO HIM.
You didn't tell him that you LIKE HIM.
These are two very different things. If he's a shy, nice guy then he's probably heard "I like talking to you" a million times ... (read in full...)
I hope he works on his lying so we can get back together.
Q. Hello, I recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. The reason we broke up was because he constantly lied. He even lied about little stupid things. We really love each other so much but all that lying really tore us apart. I hope he ...
A. 3 December 2010: Whats the question?... (read in full...)
Is this simply a case of him wanting the best of both worlds?
Q. Ok so if I was to explain the story in full, you'd be reading for a loooong time, so i'l try to keep it brief! basically, me and my ex were together for 3 and a half years and, to my knowledge, everything was great, we had talked about spending the ...
A. 3 December 2010: Oh he's playing you like a fiddle... and you're letting him. ... (read in full...)
Is there a way out of the friend zone?
Q. hi been getting on really well with a women and enjoy spending time with her i really like her and told her i like her she said am like a brother to her i walked her home and walked away, she rang me down the road saying she could not open f...
A. 3 December 2010: I agree with danielepew on this sentence:
"Have you been seeing her for, say, a week? Then this is not conclusive. Have you been "like brother and sister" for, say, one year? Then you know she doesn't want you."... (read in full...)
Why was he able to move on so fast?
Q. I have one question for you guys... how is it that guys can move on so fast after a relationship ends? I mean, obviously after two years a relationship takes work since you are likely no longer in the honeymoon phase (esp. if you live together like ...
A. 2 December 2010: "I have cried so much and he never even shed a tear in my presence"
That's the stand out sentence in your post for me. Just cos he's been able to keep himself composed around you doesn't mean he hasn't grieved at all... for all you know he could... (read in full...)
Do I begin giving him an ultimatum when I know that might backfire on me?
Q. I've had a boyfriend for almost 6 years now. He's a great guy, and I'm in love with him, and can see our future life together as being a beautiful thing. He's had a tough life though. His dad died when he was 16, and his grandfather only a few ...
A. 2 December 2010: "The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result."
Whilst he may be content to do the same things over and over, you're at breaking point and seem to be staying with him largely because of the pote... (read in full...)
Massage gone wrong on my girlfriend?
Q. me and my girlfriend are together for 1 year.....we have a very happy relationship...i have been regular at having massages at home...they are done to me by my male masseau..he is very professional at his job...so i thot of letting my gf have a ...
A. 2 December 2010: Massaging breasts is NOT a standard massage whatsoever- at least not where I'm from.
I'd be paying your guy a visit and demanding some kind of apology to both of you.... (read in full...)
I spent a few minutes in the car, now she's mad at me!
Q. I called my gf to let her know that I am leaving work and heading to her place. We usually eat out together when I get there. The trip took about an hour due to horrible traffic. Once I got there, I found a parking space that was close to her ...
A. 2 December 2010: That's a pretty big over-reaction...
How well do you know this girl? ... (read in full...)
19 and still never been asked out!
Q. Okay, I feel like everyone ask's this question. But anyway, I am going to turn 20 in a few months and I still have yet to be asked out! I have never been asked out, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. Well, I've always been shy, didn't have ...
A. 2 December 2010: Have you tried asking any guys out?
Ya can stand at the bus stop all day, but if you don't signal then the buses will just keep drivin' past you. ... (read in full...)
Frustrated and confused ... What's missing?
Q. Hello DearCupid... I am frustrated and confused. I am in love with a coworker. I've been stuck in a status quo for quite a while now. There's something missing but I don't know what it is or why it's there. To keep it simple: 1. We're both...
A. 1 December 2010: "I don't want to spill my guts as we work together in a small firm and I don't want to make anything weird for her"
What if she feels the same way?
Has she rejected you before or told you she only wants to be friends?... (read in full...)
Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 1 December 2010: Yeh, can't hurt to try it.
Plus in addition to being able to talk to him for hours, (buy a cheap head-set), you can also jump, dance and should you feel the need... kill each other. :D... (read in full...)
Am I being too paranoid? Do I have good reasons to be paranoid?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We meet every so often in real life, but are now working on saving money to move in together as soon as his papers are done (long story). He lives in the US and I ...
A. 1 December 2010: You're worried he's going to meet another girl on world of warcraft??
*blink* :|
Give the game a shot, its a chance to bond with your boyfriend- he'll love you for it and you may even find it fun yourself...
How to make sure it doesn't go ... (read in full...)
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