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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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He said I took advantage of him! What on earth happened here?
Q. I really need someone to tell me what just happened in the matter of two weeks with one of my best friends. He and I have been close for quite some time we are both 31 and should be well beyond acting like children. The sexual tension was building ...
A. 26 February 2011: So basically you love him, he doesn't like you in that way and there was alcohol involved...
That makes more sense.... (read in full...)
My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?
Q. Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...
A. 25 February 2011: Shame.
I actually thought you could be saved there for a second.
... (read in full...)
Do breaks work?
Q. He wants to take a break. He's already made plans with a co-worker to find a new place for both of them, which implies signing a lease and agreeing to contribute to another household. I'm 7months preggo and I haven't been the easiest to get alon...
A. 24 February 2011: 100% agree with caring guy on this one... (read in full...)
It started out promising, what happened?
Q. My friends and I go to the same bar every weekend. After several months of attending, one of the bartenders and I hit it off. He took my number, started texting every day (non-stop), called, asked me out and things looked promising. We went on a ...
A. 24 February 2011: I'd give it more time, or you could just put your ego aside and call him again.
You both really need to kick start this engine ASAP. Schedule a date ahead of time and if it falls through again... well that may just be the final nail in the coff... (read in full...)
Is flirting online a form of cheating?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. Our arguments have always been about him flirting with women on Facebook or MySpace. Is that considered cheating if hes flirting online and he tells women he's single? ...
A. 24 February 2011: I find it odd how everything seems to be classed as "cheating" these days. I think "cheating" and I think of somebody physically crossing the boundaries with somebody other than their partner. Everybody seems to have their own opinions as to what ... (read in full...)
Things between us are awkward, is he still interested?
Q. I've started talking again to this nice guy that I met almost 2 months ago. Well we both go to the same university and were in the same organization. He pursued me first through online chat. I was surprised since we had never talked before. He gave ...
A. 24 February 2011: Sounds to me like he's certainly interested, but really shy.... (read in full...)
My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?
Q. Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...
A. 24 February 2011: I applaud you for standing up to her, really, it took guts.
But its easy to stand up to her once... the hard part is standing up to her whenever she tries to test your boundaries or manipulate you to change back to the way that made her feel mor... (read in full...)
He said I took advantage of him! What on earth happened here?
Q. I really need someone to tell me what just happened in the matter of two weeks with one of my best friends. He and I have been close for quite some time we are both 31 and should be well beyond acting like children. The sexual tension was building ...
A. 24 February 2011: Hmm... does he have a partner? Or perhaps a woman or an ex that he's chasing?... (read in full...)
I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about using me for sex and then breaking up!!
Q. hi everybody I've been crying my eyes out all day because when I was walked into the passway leading to my boyfriend's dorm room I overheard him bragging and giving high fives to his roommate about how he was going to break up with me after he ...
A. 24 February 2011: Wow... that's rough.
Lets look at the positives here though. He didn't take your virginity and you've got another chance to find someone who is genuinely special and worthy enough.
As much as it hurts, I'm sure many people who've given up ... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking about and texting my ex-boyfriend??
Q. I'm becoming really obsessed with ex boyfriend. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I'm still in love with him. I've texted him almost everyday since we broke up telling him how much I miss him, how I want him back and apologizing for the mean ...
A. 24 February 2011: Delete his number and any way that you can contact him. If you remove the temptation, then you'll think about him a lot less... trust me, you'll feel much better.
There is nothing you can say in a msg to him that is gonna make him come back, if... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 24 February 2011: Well duh... its impossible to hate pizza.... (read in full...)
Is his heart open for me or is his ex still in it?
Q. New relationship - 2 1/2 mos. - background he was in a 17 yr relationship, she broke up with him due to different interest/finding herself. Its been 2 yrs and he still has photos of her on his phone and computer. Seems to me that would remind him ...
A. 23 February 2011: 17 years is a LONG time! Of course she's always going to have a certain place in his heart... but that doesn't necessarily mean that he still wants her. To get rid of all the photos of her is not simply getting rid of his memory of her... it'd be ... (read in full...)
My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?
Q. Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...
A. 23 February 2011: So when you were 18, this girl was 12... and yet she now keeps your testicles in her coin purse. I can't be the only one that sees how pathetic that is and how much you need to stand up for yourself. You're a man for flip sake!
Hones... (read in full...)
Why doesn't sex mean anything anymore?
Q. Nobody seems to believe in waiting for that one special person anymore. As a society we have come to expect sex all the time, and people don't care if it's with someone they truly care about or not, all they really want is thrills and excitement. ...
A. 23 February 2011: Be very careful in making condescending generalizations about society simply because they do or do not conform to your beliefs & values... it serves only to alienate people from your plight...
Just because you hold a certain view, does not make... (read in full...)
How do I get taken seriously in social and professional situations?
Q. How do I get taken seriously in social and professional situations? I am 33 years old, though I look younger than I am. Recently something has been bothering me. I have always been a good listener, and people tend to open up to me. However, th...
A. 23 February 2011: Can I ask what your professional field you are in?... (read in full...)
6 months pregnant, 16 and boyfriend treating me badly
Q. well i am 16 years old. and i am now 6 months pregnant with a son of my boyfriend for 3 years. he wanted me to get an abortion but i couldn't bring myself to do it. he kind of got used to the idea or so i thought. now he is treating me like shit by ...
A. 23 February 2011: Don't get me wrong cerberus, I'm not excusing his behavior whatsoever, I'm simply explaining what I think may be "up" with him and perhaps in a way explaining why I can sympathize with his situation... I'm currently dating a woman whom when she ... (read in full...)
If I backhanded a guy is it obvious that I like him?
Q. If I slap a guy I like is it obvious if I like him(Joe)? I back handed Joe across the face for breaking my heart by asking me out and not doing anything about it Now his friend (Rick) which is one of my bgf's likes me but I don't have any feelings ...
A. 23 February 2011: On what planet is slapping someone in the face a sign that you like them???
Wake up! He's not a mind-reader!... (read in full...)
6 months pregnant, 16 and boyfriend treating me badly
Q. well i am 16 years old. and i am now 6 months pregnant with a son of my boyfriend for 3 years. he wanted me to get an abortion but i couldn't bring myself to do it. he kind of got used to the idea or so i thought. now he is treating me like shit by ...
A. 23 February 2011: I'd imagine it'd be easy for him to get resentful if he expressed that he didn't want a baby and you decided to keep it regardless. Immature? Selfish? Yup... but him acting out might just be an outlet for the fact that he had no say in avoiding ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with her, I love her but she does not want to get serious??
Q. I don't know when to say "I love you" to her...but there is more to it... To fully understand I need you to give the full story. last month I began dating one of my old best friend whom I have very deep history with. I've known her since the 7th ...
A. 22 February 2011: If you ask me, you're on thin ice from the word go here...
Its hard to know what she's thinking, but I can tell you this much. TAKE THINGS SLOW!! Repress the need to say "I love you" or escalate the relationship... seriously, if I were you, I w... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: Well the way I see it is that it’s incredibly hard to find a post that doesn’t involve some part of a person’s own experiences in it. I’m more likely to post on something that I’m passionate about or have some experience on. There are things that ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: At the end of the day its always going to be easier for a guy to relate/sympathize with a guys problem and a girl to relate/sympathize with a girls problem...
While it was an interesting experiment seeing the two female posters give differen... (read in full...)
I want to know how to be a better kisser, not what not to do!
Q. Could someone please help me with this? All I keep reading is what NOT to do, but rarely do I find suggestions on what TO DO. I've had no shortage of practice but my kisses are still just so so. I had one girlfriend who was a phenomenal kisse...
A. 22 February 2011: As Annalisa said, its a tough question as everybody is different and likes different styles of kissing.
How do you find out what type of kissing she likes? Well either you ask her, or you try lots of different variations and see which one she ... (read in full...)
3 times we've had oral sex but he's only cum once. Is that normal?
Q. me and this guy have been dating 3 times we both are virgins.but we did oral sex....what matters me is that when we do this he masturbates only once. is it normal that he did ejaculate once out of 3 times having oral sex and holding each other ...
A. 22 February 2011: It really doesn't have much to do with whether he likes you or not, its more to do with friction. I've never "finished" from oral... ever. Doesn't mean I've never liked/loved my partner. ... (read in full...)
I satisfy my husband, but he doesn't satisfy me
Q. Is it fair that I always do oral sex to my husband until he gets to the climax without even asking if I want him to do it to me too or have the real sex either. I don't directly ask him to do it because I feel like he should have known it as a ...
A. 22 February 2011: Have you tried talking to him about it or asking him to do it? He's not a mind-reader.... (read in full...)
The myth of "best friends" of the opposite sex
Q. OK, I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this (assuming anyone read this) but from my experience and observation I believe that a heterosexual man and woman who claim to be "best friends" without any romantic feelings...is a myth. Almost al...
A. 21 February 2011: That hasn't been my experience. I'd venture that what you say applies to a majority of opposite sex best friends, but the exceptions are far from "mythological" status.
We ain't griffins :P
I very carefully thought about my best friend who i... (read in full...)
My friend just went through a break up and is confused about his feelings for me!
Q. Ok Picked up an old friendship with "Mr.X" hung out a lot,stay overs etc i helped him with his break-up. He acted like he was my boyfriend in public. I admitted to him twice that I had strong feelings for him,assured him that I would never hurt ...
A. 20 February 2011: If he doesn't understand his own feelings yet, then how can you? Furthermore... how can we?
He spoke to your sister so he clearly wanted you to know that he likes you but is confused. So I guess either decide whether his version of "like" i... (read in full...)
My husband gave his blessings for my having an affair. Opinions?
Q. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have to think so hard about this, but I'm in a predicament...I'm married to a wonderful and kind and loving and a man who thinks the world of me and an acquaintance friend of ours (we're all the same age)wants to get toge...
A. 20 February 2011: What does your church have to say on the matter?... (read in full...)
The girl who meant more to me than anyone else is back in my life...but I don't know how to take it from here. Pursue her or let it be?
Q. I am writing this because I am extremely confused and upset right now. It is now 6:15 AM, and I have been up due to the fact that I cannot get these thoughts out of my head. Basically I had some “occurrences” with a girl I used to talk to last year, ...
A. 20 February 2011: Well whether you choose to pursue her or not is a choice you're gonna have to make on your own.
As for her being a bit hot & cold, I think it could be because she's trying to figure out what you're thinking. Nobody wants to get rejected and by y... (read in full...)
My gf is bi-sexual and she has a gf, and I can't take it anymore!!
Q. I'm in a tight problem. This woman that I love and have been loving all year is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend. This is the first time I've ever felt this strong for someone. I think about her all the time and put her before I do myself. It's crazy. ...
A. 20 February 2011: If someone is bi-sexual it does NOT entitle them to have one male and one female partner... It's still cheating... I'm surprised she's convinced you to be ok with this so far.
I'd grow a spine and leave her dude... your situation is f***** u... (read in full...)
Any suggestions? Why will my Gf not pleasure me even though I pleasure her?
Q. My girl and i have been going out together since we graduated from high school for almost 3 years now. she was a virgin and so was I, we have had sex in the past and we have gone through good things and bad things in our relationship but our love ...
A. 20 February 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-wont-go-down-on-me.html
It's a recent but similar post, worth a read. ... (read in full...)
He gave me herpes! How do I tell him?
Q. My ex boyfriend gave me herpes and I'm sure it's him because he is the one I lost my virginity to. But anyways since him I haven't been dating. I'm scared and worried what's going to happen to me now. But my main concern is how to tell him that he ...
A. 20 February 2011: How do you tell him?? Who cares, you tell him ASAP! Would you really want him to unknowingly give it to another girl- just like you? He's not going to go around saying you have herpes, because then that would let people know that HE has it...
... (read in full...)
How can I find out if boyfriend is watching porn?
Q. Other than the history, how can you find out if porn is being viewed on the internet? or webcams being viewed? boyfriend vows that he hasn't been watching it anymore, but how can I be sure? He lives with me and uses my computers, I have thought ...
A. 17 February 2011: FYI- trackers, keyboard loggers etc. are illegal.... (read in full...)
I would have left this married man if I could!
Q. I am a 23 year old girl madly and helplessly in love with a 35 year old man who has a 3 year old daughter and an 8 year old son from a 9 year marriage with a 34 year old woman he dated for 5 years before marrying her. i liked him at the word go ...
A. 17 February 2011: "he say he'll never leave her and he will let me go. my heart says i will marry him someday"
That's pretty clear cut and I hate to say it but your heart can tell you whatever it wants, fact is that he's basically said that you two can never be... (read in full...)
So...does size really matter? Let's put it to rest.
Q. A good friend of mine let’s call him S is going through a very tough, emasculating time. A girlfriend of his made comments to her friends, stating that while she really enjoyed being with him, and that he was a great guy both emotionally and ...
A. 17 February 2011: lol dirtball you have a bizarre fascination with pirates.
But then again, I'd rather talk about pirates than listen to a few bitter sounding guys hell bent on uncovering a universally secret woman's conspiracy that even if it did exist, it would... (read in full...)
I warned him before I deleted him, and now he's mad at me! Can someone please explain this??
Q. Hi, First, a little background: My ex and I went out for a few months a year and a half ago. I broke it off because he said he was falling in love with me and at the time I didn't feel the same way. Anyway, we ended up becoming friends and a co...
A. 17 February 2011: "I tell him that I'm deleting him beforehand but I say it's because I'm starting a new relationship and my new boyfriend knows about our history and is kind of jealous (not true but I just couldn't tell him it was because he broke my heart)"
He co... (read in full...)
Affective Sexuality: Whatever happened to it?
Q. The story begins with a guy and a girl falling in love on their first date. Everything went perfect. They both click the first time they laid their eyes on each other, and they're hoping to "get it on" tonight. However, they found out that they're ...
A. 15 February 2011: Sex is fun. ... (read in full...)
Does this make me a bad person, knowing that he has a gf and still talking to him and wanting to fool ARound with him?
Q. I work at a fastfood place and my coworker likes me and i like him but he has a gf but he doesn't know that I know he has a gf. He's super cute I gave him my # and I gave him a hug. I wanna get to know him better. I also wanna do "stuff" with him ( ...
A. 12 February 2011: Yeh, it kinda does.... (read in full...)
How do I avoid feeling down on the most romantic day of the year?
Q. You probably get this question every year but I couldn't find any previous examples, so here it goes. I'm single and the love of my life left me for someone else. What can I do to avoid feeling down on Valentine's Day? I'd be very grateful for ...
A. 12 February 2011: Beer, Pizza and a DVD/game marathon.... (read in full...)
He keeps rejecting my advances. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. How do I make my boyfriend make love to me? He keeps rejecting me and I don't know what to do. Maybe im doing it wrong? Every time i try to make love to him it seems like he is pushing me away, i dont know what to do. I'm madly in love with him and ...
A. 12 February 2011: "Very rarely do men want a woman coming on to them like that."
Well that's just not true.... (read in full...)
Is it okay if my boyfriend licks me all the time?
Q. My boyfriend keeps licking me is it ok ? I'm 18 he's 23 I do love him and he likes doing it. He licks my stomach my neck and my arms and I do enjoy it but I wanted to know if it's alright . ...
A. 11 February 2011: You're not a toad are you? You like it, he likes it, why would it not be alright?
Unusual question...... (read in full...)
He said he likes me, but doesn't want a girlfriend right now!
Q. hey cupids! im just a bit confused and dunno what to do about this guy i like so it all starts off with him telling me that he likes me / another girl and i also told him i liked him as well . it was really awkward and stuff until he started calli...
A. 10 February 2011: "he said 'if i was looking for a girlfriend i'd allready be going out with you.'"
That sounds pretty clear to me... he's not interested...... (read in full...)
What do you think of this internet relationship?
Q. so. i've been in an online relationship with a girl. for a year and a half. i was looking for a gf online because i was in a car accident and couldn't leave the house enough to really look for anyone. and it was easy...so i just kept talking to her ...
A. 10 February 2011: Brutally honest??
I think its time to get out there and get a real relationship now that you're back in tip-top shape. ... (read in full...)
What would you do if you were told you only have 8 years left?
Q. If you're single, what would you do about your current love life if the doctor told you, you have a deadly disease and that you only have 8 years of life? Would you look for someone? and why? ...
A. 10 February 2011: Well first off I'd ignore what the doctor said to be honest. Doctors aren't gods, they don't know when you'll die. My mother was told she wouldn't last the night, then that she wouldn't last the year... and so on and so forth for eleven years with ... (read in full...)
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