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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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The guy I clicked with gave my number to the guy who happens to be a jerk!
Q. I am sure this happens a lot but this is a first for me. So it was my friend's birthday last night and he introduced me these guys. From the beginning one of them was trying to talk to me, Andrew, who apparently is kind of an asshole. I was just ...
A. 17 January 2011: Crud indeed! Well, I say you just make it very clear to Andrew that you're keen on Chris. Drop in some hints in texts, ask for Chris's number, etc. You'll be killing two birds with one stone, Andrew will get the hint to back off and he'll let ... (read in full...)
The guy I clicked with gave my number to the guy who happens to be a jerk!
Q. I am sure this happens a lot but this is a first for me. So it was my friend's birthday last night and he introduced me these guys. From the beginning one of them was trying to talk to me, Andrew, who apparently is kind of an asshole. I was just ...
A. 17 January 2011: Could Andrew be inviting you FOR Chris? If he's shy then maybe Andrew is helping Chris out by giving you guys a chance to meet up without it having that awkward "first date" vibe...?
Just a thought. I think you should have gone with them per... (read in full...)
How do men feel about having sex on a woman's period?
Q. How do men feel about having sex while she's on her period? I know many may like to claim they don't care or say things like, "put a towel down and go to town," but sometimes I can help but wonder if it the bleeding doesn't gross them out. ...
A. 16 January 2011: Well of course its gross, its blood... I don't like it.
But I do like pleasing my girl. In the end that wins out every time.
... (read in full...)
She wants me to get my penis pierced!
Q. Hey everybody! I've been in relationship with this girl for 2 years now... She wants to spice things up so she got a tattoo and she asked me to get my dick pierced!! Is this too much? Is it gonna hurt? Should I do it? So many questions...
A. 16 January 2011: Is it gonna hurt? You better believe it.
Should you do it? Hell no. Not unless you're doing it for yourself. Mutilating your body because somebody else wants you to...
Not cool. ... (read in full...)
I want a serious relationship, why doesn't anybody else my age want the same?
Q. I'm 23 and quite mature for my age. I want a serious relationship, but all I find is people my age wanting flings. Or they just play you like my ex did and then dump you by text. Why is this? The problem with guys my age is that they only want sex ...
A. 16 January 2011: "Sorry but I have zero sympathy for women complaining about this.
Show me 10 random single guys your age. I will probably show you at least 5 or 6 of them willing to have a real relationship about more than just sex. And I absolutely GUARANTE... (read in full...)
I want to get married but don't want to force him to do so!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now. We have lived together for 2 years. I want to get married and I am getting anxious. Every time we have talked about it, he always says he isn't ready to get married. I'm only 22 and he's 23, ...
A. 16 January 2011: Whats the rush?... (read in full...)
Do I follow through with my fantasy?
Q. I have been married to my wife for over 15 years now and can't stop thinking of watching her with well endowed men, especially black men. Do I follow through with this fantasy?...
A. 13 January 2011: Does your wife share your fantasy?
I'm sure if she said her fantasy was to watch you get f****d by a well hung black man that your opinion would surely matter.
*ahem* Sorry bout that. Sometimes fantasies should stay as fantasies. Look... (read in full...)
I think he's watching porn all the time and I can't deal with it!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. it is mostly an internet relationship because of the distance. though we plan on moving in together and getting married. i have alot of feelings floating up inside my head and i dont know how to t...
A. 13 January 2011: Have you tried therapy? If you've got all these past years of trauma bottled up, maybe you should focus on that first?... (read in full...)
S it healthy for a man to masturbate even if his girlfriend will give it to him whenever he wants?
Q. Is it healthy for a man to masturbate even if his live in girlfriend will give it to him whenever he wants? Do I have a right to be upset if he rejects having sex with me time to time yet masturbates instead..keep in mind, two days in a row wihtout ...
A. 13 January 2011: "Do I have a right to be upset if he rejects having sex with me TIME TO TIME yet masturbates instead..."
Time to time being the key words here... perfectly healthy and I think kicking up a fuss over something that happens time to time, just not... (read in full...)
He tells me that he doesn't know what to do because he wants his kids and also wants me. What do I do?
Q. Well here's my crazy story......when I met my husband we had a great relationship he was totally honest with me or atleast I thought he was being honest with me he told ne he had a son and that him and his sons mother had a mutual understanding that ...
A. 13 January 2011: *sigh*
I think that's a load of crap personally. You honestly think that he kept going back to her JUST because of the kids? Balderdash.
I agree with sageoldguy, but if you really want to be with him then he can just take her to court for jo... (read in full...)
I messed up because I was drunk and my boyfriend got the wrong idea and broke up with me
Q. this is too detailed.. but i think it's better so that the whole situation will be understood clearly.. We had been going out for 2 years and 10 months.. We saw each other almost everyday when he comes home from school and when my work for the day...
A. 13 January 2011: I wouldn't worry. You'll get back together.... (read in full...)
What should I do with my girlfriend, stay or leave?
Q. me and my girlfriend have a for the most part a good relationship, me and her know what each other is feeling, she a Gemini, so i heard about the split personality, like 2 people, but back to what i was saying, she talkes to her ex's saying they are ...
A. 13 January 2011: Been in the same situation, it sucks.
Long story short, she won't change and in a way she shouldn't have to. The more you try to make her change, the more controlling you'll appear and the more contact she'll crave from ex's. Its a pointles... (read in full...)
Porno for Valentine's Day?
Q. My BF is obsessed with the tv show entourage..and I'm thinking about getting him the entourage parody porno for valentines as kinda joke kinda serious ha. is this a good or bad idea?...
A. 13 January 2011: He'll love it if you ask me.... (read in full...)
He's trying to change me on so many levels. When will these changes be 'enough' for him?
Q. Hi, i really need some advice!! Iv been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Im 22, he's nearly 30 and he's a christian. Iv never felt like this about anyone before and i really really love him. When we first met everything was great! He was just as ...
A. 12 January 2011: I once followed my girlfriend into her religion at her pressure and wanting a future with her, I agreed... bad idea. If you choose to follow a religion, you have to do it for yourself because you believe that its true and not only that, but that ... (read in full...)
To all Men Help What is this guys problem?
Q. Calling all guys late 20's to 30s im so confused and need some male advice or anyone that can relate to this feel free to help...thank you basically i have just returned from a trip to america with my friend i had a great time and defo needed ...
A. 11 January 2011: He shows MANY of the characteristics of a player.
Players are good at speeding up the stages from initial meeting place to the bedroom. They may say things that they think you want to hear, they will try to make you as comfortable with them as p... (read in full...)
Is my wife hiding a 'dirty' side of herself from me?
Q. Hi. I'm 44, my wife is 38. We've been married for 8 years. When we were first dating, she would ask me to masturbate and to climax on her buttocks. This went on for awhile, and then went away. Now, after having two children and going through a long ...
A. 11 January 2011: Why analyze something that you're in no position to change? It's probably nothing, but even if there was a "dirty" side to her past... trust me when I say that its not worth digging into or over-thinking. It brings nothing but trouble... don't ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for a police officer investigating my case, could he feel the same?
Q. I currently have a partner who i have been with for 8 year's, he has never been the perfect partner as he's been in trouble load's, Cheated On Me ect but i have alway's forgiven him. Recently I had to report a crime . . . . My mobile Phone was ...
A. 11 January 2011: Yeh, there is a chance he could feel the same...
But the only reason I say that is because he told you that HE doesn't have a girlfriend. He has to ask questions, that's his job, but to tell you that HE doesn't have a girlfriend...
It's a ... (read in full...)
I tested my boyfriend and he failed!
Q. so i had my friend send my bf a message on myspace to see if he would cheat on me she sent him a message asking him if he had a girlfriend and he said no. I found a different reason to break up with him and after i broke up with him i asked him why ...
A. 11 January 2011: Stop playing games with him for a start!
... (read in full...)
To all Men Help What is this guys problem?
Q. Calling all guys late 20's to 30s im so confused and need some male advice or anyone that can relate to this feel free to help...thank you basically i have just returned from a trip to america with my friend i had a great time and defo needed ...
A. 11 January 2011: You need to accept that things are over with this guy. It sucks, it really does and I feel for ya, but obviously something is wrong in this equation otherwise it would have progressed. I'm not entirely sure why you're so hell bent on finding out ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to stop calling me that nickname?
Q. My boyfriend has recently started using the same nickname I used to call my ex when we were going out. My ex and I ended on extremely bad terms so it's really weird to hear that nickname used towards ME and be reminded of him. Is there any way I can ...
A. 11 January 2011: Just tell him what you've just told us.
I see no reason why he wouldn't understand.... (read in full...)
To all Men Help What is this guys problem?
Q. Calling all guys late 20's to 30s im so confused and need some male advice or anyone that can relate to this feel free to help...thank you basically i have just returned from a trip to america with my friend i had a great time and defo needed ...
A. 11 January 2011: I agree with Lexi I'm afraid... You've kinda turned a mole hill into a mountain and I can guarantee this guy is not thinking about you anywhere near as much as you are about him.
... (read in full...)
Is a threesome a good idea if my boyfriend suggests it?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He has expressed how he enjoys watching me masturbate with a dildo. He has recently discussed with me how he would enjoy watching me have sex with another man. I just dont want this to ruin our ...
A. 11 January 2011: Threesomes are never a good idea if ya ask me.
You're 26-29 years old, surely your sex life is not so boring that it needs spicing up by bringing someone else into the bedroom.
There's just so many things that can go wrong... but meh, I can't... (read in full...)
He wants to video tape us having sex and I'm not comfortable with it
Q. Okay so I've dating my boyfriend for 5 months I love him more then anything. I'm in college and he works. He's 34 years old and I'm 19 years old. I know there is a big gap but I love him and I feel like he does loves me back. so we had issues in the ...
A. 10 January 2011: Mmmm... Probably best not to, you don't want a sex tape floating around. However if you do, I suggest that you only agree to do it if you have the only copy of the tape and you keep it under lock and key.
... (read in full...)
Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?
Q. I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...
A. 9 January 2011: That's a bit of a sweeping generalization... Personally I think if anything that guys are respecting females more now than ever.
Meh, it really comes down to your own personal experiences, no-ones going to be right or wrong in answering this que... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he emailed or called me yet?
Q. Happy new year everyone! So... before the holidays a colleague of mine I really fancy told me we'd meet up for dinner after Jan 3rd (that is when I got back from the holidays) and, well... I know it's just th 5th today but I'm freakin out already!...
A. 5 January 2011: Did he say that he'd call you?... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 5 January 2011: Finding the balls to actually walk in and buy fluffy hand-cuffs is the missing part of the equation Chi
One day... one day...
But I've digressed this article enough, sorry OP ;)... (read in full...)
Why won't he take it to the next level?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a month now and I'm a bit worried about our sex life. We have yet to have sex, and though I'm not the pushiest girl when it comes to sex, I'd like to know if he's taking it slowly for a reason or if I ...
A. 5 January 2011: He's a gentleman and trying to be respectful...
Plus its only been a month, stop overthinking or help the brother out and make a move yourself.
I waited about 2 months to sleep with my current girl, thinkin' I was going at her pace and being re... (read in full...)
How many partners is too many partners?
Q. I am a 29 year old woman trying to figure out if I have had too many partners or if I am just average and don't need to worry. I feel pretty average. But when men ask, I'm never sure how I measure up. I know it depends on the man. How many p...
A. 5 January 2011: You're fine.... (read in full...)
When guys ask women about their sexual pasts, do they really want an honest answer?
Q. This question seems like a no-brainer at first... who's going to say they DON'T want honesty? But then I read all the posts on here from people (mainly guys, it seems) who are insecure about what their partners have done before them, and with whom, ...
A. 5 January 2011: "They think they do. But they can't handle the truth."
lol, love it... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 5 January 2011: I do like that well metaphor gamine, nice one :)
Hand cuffed in a positive way you say... oh yes, I've seen those fluffy pink hand cuffs in adult store windows...
Count me in.... (read in full...)
Are pimples a turn off?
Q. Do guys get turned off a girl if they have pimples on there chest and back?...
A. 4 January 2011: Sweetheart, pimples are the absolute last things guys look at on girls...
Besides, they all tend to disappear with age anyways.
... (read in full...)
When guys ask women about their sexual pasts, do they really want an honest answer?
Q. This question seems like a no-brainer at first... who's going to say they DON'T want honesty? But then I read all the posts on here from people (mainly guys, it seems) who are insecure about what their partners have done before them, and with whom, ...
A. 4 January 2011: No details... whatsoever. If they can't handle hearing the honest number of sexual partners, well that's probably a good sign that they weren't going to be "a keeper" anyways. ... (read in full...)
Does it mean that the girl is not important to him because he never gives her flowers?
Q. My boyfriend and I are together for 11 months now... and next month will be our first year anniversary together. He is a very boring person and hardly surprise me with things. AND HE NEVER GIVES ME FLOWERS BEFORE.... I am pretty bothered by t...
A. 4 January 2011: Flowers are stupid. I really don't see the point in them.
They look pretty at first, then after a few days they shrivel up and die on the kitchen counter making a big mess.
As far as being symbolic of love, surely I can't be the only one ... (read in full...)
This girl keeps coming to me, then going back to the ex, again and again, why?
Q. I need help LADIES please answer this one, as you're the only ones that can... So I've been dating this girl, who is conflicted about her ex, but since I was so persistent, I guess she gave me a chance perhaps as a payback to her ex. My question is ...
A. 4 January 2011: She does this again and again because YOU LET HER!!!
She knows that you'll keep taking her back so there's no real decision for her to make... no lasting ramifications or consequences to her making a piss-poor decision.
Of course she still... (read in full...)
Helpful advice wanted on my FWB situation
Q. I am looking for some advice or suggestions on what I should do in my current situation with my Friends With Benefits guy. disclaimer: this is long! Last March I broke up with my bf of 4 years as we fell too much into the "just friends" ca...
A. 4 January 2011: I'm constantly bamboozled by how many people in FWB's don't seem to grasp that a large majority of FWB relationships end because one person seems to fall for the other and the feelings aren't reciprocated.
Listen to yourself, you sound like you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 4 January 2011: It's all very well for YOU to say that you don't talk excessively, but maybe he thinks differently? (maybe you do, maybe you don't, I'm Switzerland).
All I know is that there are girls that I've dated who talked to unwind, whereas I unwind b... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 4 January 2011: Maybe I'm just not smart enough to understand this theory and have completely missed the mark, but are you suggesting that we hand-cuff ourselves to our partners for extra longevity?
... (read in full...)
Guys want girls to be exclusive but don't want to be exclusive themselves
Q. Why do guys always feel like they can make a girl commit to him exclusively and not the other way around?Meaning the girl cannot have her say, like express her feelings of commitment (ask him to be her boyfriend), or something like that, whatever it ...
A. 3 January 2011: I think you shouldn't believe everything you read in young women's magazines.... (read in full...)
Does this count as sex?
Q. so first off my boyfriend and i have never had sex. okay two nights ago my boyfriend and i were messing around on the couch (like he was rubbing himself on me but not going in) and he kind of slipped and went in maybe an inch or so but n...
A. 2 January 2011: Whoopsadaisy.
Technically that's sex yeh, but meh... whether you count it or not is up to you.... (read in full...)
Looking for my soul mate. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. I'm a single, attractive female with little dating experience looking for my soulmate in new york city. This has happened to me twice so I'm posting about it. I must be doing something wrong. I went to a club/bar with my friends, met a f...
A. 2 January 2011: Nope.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
Sorry I can't be more help, but the only way you're gonna know if you're doing anything wrong is by getting more dating experience and meeting new people...
...which you're already doing.
Don't ... (read in full...)
I want to initiate an affair with a married friend of my wife and mine
Q. I am a married man,38. I have strong feelings for an older woman who is also married and is a friend of us. I can tell from her looks that she has the same feeling. Nothing has happened up to this moment, not a word expressed, nothing at all. Ca...
A. 2 January 2011: Surely there's a website out there dedicated to helping people who are determined to destroy their marriage and instigate affairs...
Maybe you should go find it. ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend let me see him naked?
Q. Hey, My boyfriend and me have been dating over a year, neither of us are sexually active yet but we both really want to. Me and him do foreplay etc but hes started to ask me for Bjs etc. But he wont take off his top or bottoms so I can help satisfy ...
A. 2 January 2011: When I say "over compliment" I don't mean to tell him he has a 6 pack when he doesn't. I mean overly compliment him on what you like about his body genuinely so that you can build up his self-image.
Just to clarify. ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend let me see him naked?
Q. Hey, My boyfriend and me have been dating over a year, neither of us are sexually active yet but we both really want to. Me and him do foreplay etc but hes started to ask me for Bjs etc. But he wont take off his top or bottoms so I can help satisfy ...
A. 2 January 2011: Well he's clearly insecure about his body... Maybe overly compliment him on how hot his body is, touch him whenever you can and I'm sure he'll eventually come around.
Goodluck :)... (read in full...)
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