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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Why won't my boyfriend let me see him naked?
Q. Hey, My boyfriend and me have been dating over a year, neither of us are sexually active yet but we both really want to. Me and him do foreplay etc but hes started to ask me for Bjs etc. But he wont take off his top or bottoms so I can help satisfy ...
A. 2 January 2011: When I say "over compliment" I don't mean to tell him he has a 6 pack when he doesn't. I mean overly compliment him on what you like about his body genuinely so that you can build up his self-image.
Just to clarify. ... (read in full...)
10 fail-safe tips to bag that guy... Men, take note!
Q. How will you ever discover how to make a guy fall in love with you? What things attract a guy and keep him interested? Do you have the information to reach a guy's heart? Men are perplexing and most women just don't understand them. Here are some ...
A. 2 January 2011: "For someone so young, you give very practical advice and it works for both sexes too!"
Agree 100%.
Except for the bit about men being perplexing... If you were a man for one week, you'd realize that we're incredibly simple folk.
Take ... (read in full...)
Why do I have the worst luck with women?
Q. Why do I have the worst luck when it comes to women? It never fails. All of the women I meet and take an interest in turn out to already have boyfriends. I meet these women in a variety of settings so location really isn't an issue. Whether I ...
A. 2 January 2011: The formula for luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Take from that what you will, but what I take from it personally is that if one waits for luck to just come around and reward randomly... you're gonna be left wanting.
Don't blame l... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he prefers me.
Q. I'm single and the past year of my life I've spent "having fun." I figured I'm young no use in tying myself down. But now my views ave changed. You see there is this guy and we have known each other for a couple of years. He is best friends with my ...
A. 2 January 2011: Good news :)... (read in full...)
How can I have safe sex without the use of birth control and condoms?
Q. how can I have safe sex without the use of birth control? My boyfriend doesn't like to use condoms and I trust him to pull out but sometimes I'm afraid. I would like to be on birth control but I can't be prescribed because I'm on chemotherapy pil...
A. 2 January 2011: Safe sex without birth control or condoms...
Doesn't exist.... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend let me see him naked?
Q. Hey, My boyfriend and me have been dating over a year, neither of us are sexually active yet but we both really want to. Me and him do foreplay etc but hes started to ask me for Bjs etc. But he wont take off his top or bottoms so I can help satisfy ...
A. 2 January 2011: Well he's clearly insecure about his body... Maybe overly compliment him on how hot his body is, touch him whenever you can and I'm sure he'll eventually come around.
Goodluck :)... (read in full...)
He treats me so well but he's seeing someone else
Q. I have dated a man for the past five years. I caught him having an affair after the first year. I thought we worked through this and had an even stronger relationship. Then I found out he never stopped seeing the other woman. He says he loves me ...
A. 2 January 2011: Well I dunno... do you think you deserve a monogamous relationship? I think everybody does, no matter what their circumstances...
Personally I wouldn't stay in a relationship with a prostitute just because she treated me like a king when I was wi... (read in full...)
Guys:Have you ever liked a girl in the beginning but changed your mind when you got to know her better...?
Q. Guys,have you ever liked/interested in a girl a bit in the beginning (when you first met her),but when you got to know her a little bit better,you started to lose interest and you didn't want to go out with her,but you wanted to be her friend?If ...
A. 31 December 2010: Sure. She was just more compatible as a friend and I found out we probably wouldn't work well as a couple.
But how is that helpful to you?
Wanna be more specific about your situation or stick to this abstract hypothetical?... (read in full...)
Alone again on the New Year...how do I get through this??
Q. I've been sngle for the last 3 years around new years and all that and the last couple of years i completly had melt downs cause i was so sick of being alone. all my friends are going out of town and i will be alone yet again. i was wondering how i ...
A. 31 December 2010: Here's a thought. Why don't you just put on your best outfit hit the town and meet new people? If there's any time to do it, its on new years. Hell, you may even get a kiss come midnight. Do something about this, because staying at home is ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he prefers me.
Q. I'm single and the past year of my life I've spent "having fun." I figured I'm young no use in tying myself down. But now my views ave changed. You see there is this guy and we have known each other for a couple of years. He is best friends with my ...
A. 31 December 2010: "he doesn't want to be with her. "
And yet he's still with her... ergo... you're the one getting played in this situation.... (read in full...)
Help! My girlfriend is too insecure!
Q. hey. my girlfriend is so insecure because of what i have done in the past or so she tells me. i Am going to be compeltely honest and i need you people to tell me if its me or if its her issues. We have been dating for 11 months and we both do l...
A. 30 December 2010: This girl has serious issues and insecurities. Be careful or soon she'll have convinced you to blindfold yourself when you go to the shopping mall... sheesh!
Whats concerning is how she sounds like she is unable to accept that this is AT LEAST... (read in full...)
Do I risk telling my client that he has extremely bad breath?
Q. it feels so mean to having to ask this, but how can I handle it? I have a great client, he provides me with a continuous stream of research work. He's well mannered, always a gentleman. When I've finished the research i get it all ready, and I drop ...
A. 23 December 2010: Well its up to you whether you choose to risk it, but if you do choose to say something, make sure the blame isn't directed at him.
Eg. Don't say "YOU have bad breath today" or "YOUR breath stinks"
Maybe say "What did you just eat? Would ... (read in full...)
He beat me, should I stay with him?
Q. im 14 and me and my bf have been dating for about 4 weeks now and i have a problem write ino im young but me and my bf have sex quite alot (this will make sense later) but he asked me if i wanted to come round after school on our last day but i ...
A. 23 December 2010: Dump this loser, in no universe could this be considered your "fault". If he can do it once, he can do it again... and probably will. Get out now and talk to an adult about this.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex treat me like garbage? How can I forget about him?
Q. I was in love with my ex and would've done anything for him. But all he did was treat me like dirt. He'd insult me in front of friends, ignored me at parties, flirt with other women in front of me, always put me last, and was never once romantic ...
A. 23 December 2010: Instead of asking "why did he treat me this way?" maybe you should be asking "why did I stay with him?"
That's what I'd like to know anyways...
... (read in full...)
Should I just accept that I'll never find someone who loves me?
Q. i know many of you here who have read my past posts realize that i needed to move on from my gf who has thrown me on an emotional roller coaster. Many of you also suggested i find someone new now thats the problem the way i got with my ex was ...
A. 23 December 2010: You're 16-17...
Trust me, you'll find someone.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by someone else, my boyfriend doesn't know and I can't have an abortion!
Q. Hey pipo m hopin u help me out on this problem....me and this guy have been datin 4 2yrs nw,n i met this nice guy we went out @ some club and took enuf beers...we later went 2 his home we had sex and now m pregnunt n my boyfriend doesnt knw about ...
A. 23 December 2010: Well you can't pretend to your boyfriend that its his, you can't have an abortion... what other option is there but to tell him the truth?... (read in full...)
Disappointed my boyfriend bought me t-shirts instead of a promise ring for Christmas!
Q. Its coming up to xmas and for a month my bf of 4 months has been asking me what I want for xmas. He suggested a budget of £50 and I agreed. I hinted I wanted him to get me a promise ring, he soon seemed to forget within a week and would say ahh ...
A. 23 December 2010: lol yes, herlovelyworld is the resident expert on this topic :D
... (read in full...)
For the last 2 years she hasn't showed me any love or affection
Q. Been with girlfriend 4 years, she is 25. She says she loves me but for last 2 years she wont show me affection, or show her feelings for me, wont hold hands in public, wont kiss,denies we are dating if anyone asks and, makes me feel so bad that I ...
A. 23 December 2010: Well I'd dump her in a heartbeat... and frankly, (boo-hiss me all you like), I'd do it by SMS so she couldn't do a last ditch effort again. Nah... but seriously, why are you with a girl who denies you're dating, doesn't have sex, kiss or show ... (read in full...)
Jealous girlfriend , my fault I hit her ?
Q. My girlfriend is bi polar and jealous. She caught me with porn and got really mad about it she wol't let me have female friend and I don't care about that because I don't want her to have male friends so we made a deal no friends of oppisite sexes. ...
A. 23 December 2010: Ah boy...
Sounds all too like my bipolar ex, so I do know where you're coming from... But at the end of the day- no, it was not her fault. You snapped, you hit her and that is not her fault. Accept responsibility, get help for your anger is... (read in full...)
Is delayed break-up sex such a bad thing?
Q. Let's say you dated someone who was a very close friend of yours. You broke up, but feel like you have unfinished business sexually. As in, you were both very enthusiastic and had plans/ideas that never got to be acted out (though you did have sex ...
A. 22 December 2010: Been there, done that, silly idea.
But do what you gotta do- I can't judge, just realize that its playing with fire... what if one of you falls for the other all over again whilst the other doesn't feel the same.
You guys did the no-contact t... (read in full...)
I have feelings for four other guys, plus my ex, still.
Q. I have no boyfriend at the moment but I am getting feelings for like 4 guys. I don't know what it means :/ I had a boyfriend a year and a half ago and I broke up with him. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER. I didn't get over him for ages. Now he annoys me becau...
A. 22 December 2010: To me it just means that you really want a boyfriend and you're sussing out your options.... (read in full...)
She claims she's never horny, but get super wet
Q. I dont understand how my gf is never horny. We have alot of foreplay and she gets dripping wet all over but yet she says she doesn't feel horny. Also it seems that she never initiates sex or anything sexual, i always have to start doing ever...
A. 22 December 2010: I'm not a doctor, but maybe you should look up "Vaginismus" on wikipedia.
It could be an explanation.... (read in full...)
I came home to be with him and now I am so confused!!!
Q. Okay so basically my ex and I have known each other for 10years..we were best mates in school and dated for a bit when we were younger. Then when we were about 20 we both admitted we were in love and soul mates. So for two years we had a great ...
A. 22 December 2010: Just leave him be...
18 months is a long time so try not to think that he's "punishing you" when he may be being genuine and honest with you. Stay friends, but don't have any hidden agenda to win him back over.
Time and friendship may b... (read in full...)
Shouldn't I be the one she runs to when she's feeling down?
Q. So I'm a bit new to this, but i thought i'd get some opinions. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about a month or so now, and the problem lies with her two guy best friends. She's known them about a year or so. Feels like she talks t...
A. 22 December 2010: You've only been with her for a month...
If you date someone for a short time, I don't believe you should even be their #1 priority anyways, not at this stage at least...
"Best friendships" tend to develop after having knowing each oth... (read in full...)
What kind of smile did I get?
Q. hey everyone . well today at school it was at the end of the day i wa sgoing to my locker and there was this boy that i see almost everyday because his locker is down the hall from mine and i pass his house in my way home anyway i was at my locker ...
A. 22 December 2010: No way to know... it was just one smile. When it comes to reading body language, its best to look for patterns of behavior over time instead of just one instance.
But smiling... that's a pretty universal sign that its at least ok to go up to an... (read in full...)
Can you ever be friends with a member of the opposite sex?
Q. Hey, this isn't really a problem I was just wondering what everyone thinks on whether guys and girls can ever just be friends? My friends think one will always find the other sexually attractive but is this true? I've had lots of guy friends for ...
A. 22 December 2010: Absolutely. ... (read in full...)
Did I do something to make him think I am not interested?
Q. I had been talking to this guy all week and he met me and my friends out on Saturday night. We talked the entire night and well into the morning. We fooled around a little bit, but there was no sex (oral or otherwise). We fell asleep and then ...
A. 22 December 2010: So... have you contacted him??
Because if you haven't, then could he not be thinking the exact same things that you are but vice versa? Unless he got your number but you didn't get his, then there's no reason why you can't just call him right...... (read in full...)
Defended my special needs child from attacker, who's now vilifying me. What can I do?
Q. Anyways i am a parent who went on vacation with my husband's family. Not a good idea, it turns out that I ending up reprimanding, my husband's family member for physically attacking my child. Well that wasn't a good idea as the relative, got so ...
A. 22 December 2010: You're assuming that your husbands side of the family just accepted everything that this relative said as the absolute irrefutable truth...
If this relative is a good liar, manipulator or whatever, then the family will know this... comes from yea... (read in full...)
The always-in-trouble boyfriend, the lover and pregnant me...help me out of this mess!!
Q. Alright ive been with my boyfriend for a year and 6 months,the first year we wer very good i was the happest girl in the world.hes a great guy weve never had any trust issues we are alwas together. after the first year we moved out together that was ...
A. 20 December 2010: Ok, now I saw this post 5 hours ago and I ignored it.
Now that this post has been up for 6 hours with no response I'm going to let you know why I (and perhaps others) ignored it to begin with...
You will not listen.
You will not listen.
... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him so he can leave me alone?
Q. Somebody plz help me. I made a stupid decision that can cost me my marriage. I'm ashamed,embarrassed, and feel like crap. I got myself involved with a man at my job who liked to do phone sex. He is older than I and married. It was fun at first ...
A. 17 December 2010: Umm... Hell no!!
Might be best to take the venom out of the cobra and just tell your husband...
Just a thought.... (read in full...)
What are your top 5 "Must haves" and "Can't stands"
Q. Poll (just for fun). For women and men, for you, what are the top 5 "MUST HAVES" and the top 5 "CAN'T STANDS" when evaluating members of the opposite sex as a potential lifelong partner? I guess mine would be Must Haves: friendly dispos...
A. 17 December 2010: Hahaha! Tennistar, I am shocked... number one... nice rear??
*discreet high 5*
... (read in full...)
Birthday blues...
Q. My bf of almost one year didn't bother to give me so much as a card for my birthday. He did take me to dinner, and this isn't a money issue. I went all out for his birthday six months ago. I still can't get over feeling really hurt, should I ask ...
A. 17 December 2010: You say you went all out on his birthday... what did you do that makes him taking you to dinner so insignificant? ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty...
Q. I need advice please. I married my best friend that I never loved romantically. She got pregnant and I have the most wonderful child. I left my wife when my child was under 1 as I did not want to cheat and was not pleased sexually. I feel so guilty ...
A. 17 December 2010: You can't control who you love and its foolish to try to stay with someone that you don't. You made a mistake in marrying your best friend... everybody makes mistakes, its how we learn. It's not a hang-able offense.
You gotta remember... (read in full...)
Am I able to pull it off as my boyfriend's baby?
Q. Hi I'm in a tough situation,I think I might be pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby. My current boyfriend and I have been trying for a year for a baby and haven't had any luck. He cheated on me 3 times a while back and out of anger I went and cheated ...
A. 17 December 2010: Tell him the truth! Hiding this from him would be despicable.... (read in full...)
He practised with me, it ended, but does he still like me?
Q. ok i dont "fall in love" with guy it doesnt happen. but i have been best friends with a guy who i think i love.. we have been friends for 2 years and over the summer we wanted to "practice" stuff so we were ready when the time came with someone ...
A. 17 December 2010: Sorry, but that's a lost cause... can't believe you agreed to be "practice".... (read in full...)
What constitutes an emotional affair?
Q. What constitutes an emotional affair? Where's the fine line of being good friends versus having an emotional affair with a friend of the opposite sex. My fiancee and I were just discussing this and realized that some of our friends have not...
A. 16 December 2010: Short answer: When there is secrecy or lying involved and the 3rd party becomes more of a priority than their partner. Or there's clear evidence that a partner wants more than just friendship from their friend.
I don't like the term "emotion... (read in full...)
My children's father abandoned us, but his brother stepped in and saved the day.....is it wrong that we have fallen in love?
Q. I am a single mother of two children. The father of my children abandoned us with nothing. No food, no money, and no secure shelter. When my children's father brother found out about the situation he provided us food and shelter. In this process we ...
A. 16 December 2010: He forfeits the right to get upset by leaving and having nothing to do with you or your kids.
Go for it, to hell with what anyone else thinks. ... (read in full...)
Anybody else believe in soulmates?
Q. So, I want to know if this could be real? Ive never believed in that "one person" that was made for us. It just seemed to far-fetched to be realistic. But here goes... I had a great friend in the 9th grade (28 years ago) She and I could talk abo...
A. 13 December 2010: Soulmate definition:
One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.
Yeh, that I can believe, but as for the suggestion that there's one and only one person on the planet truly destined to be with anot... (read in full...)
No self confidence after breakup!
Q. How do I regain my self confidence back? I was in a five year relationship, that was mostly toxic, although he loved me, he did make remarks about my body, being overweight, sometime not wearing makeup etc. either way he broke my hear and left, and ...
A. 13 December 2010: Give it time...
5 years is a long time, especially when you're young. You may have found that your identities started to meld together during that time. Instead of you being "Jill" and your partner being "Jack", you may have become "Jackill... (read in full...)
Will she still be 'tight' for me?
Q. My girlfriend had sex one time before she met me for literally only 2 minutes and told the man to stop. She knew what she was doing was wrong theres a long back story to this. But I'm wondering will she still be tight when we do it? Tight as a ...
A. 13 December 2010: Yeah, it will be special for both of you, because I can guarantee you, those 2 minutes weren't special for her.
She won't be "looser" for you whatsoever.
Treat her right and have fun :D ... (read in full...)
Is this what all the protective guys do?
Q. This is the third time i've asked a question here, that just shows that my life is full of drama. The only reason i dont tell my family and friends about my problems is because they can be very judgemental so i guess i need an outsiders ...
A. 13 December 2010: My opinion...
Run far.
Run fast.... (read in full...)
Will she still be 'tight' for me?
Q. My girlfriend had sex one time before she met me for literally only 2 minutes and told the man to stop. She knew what she was doing was wrong theres a long back story to this. But I'm wondering will she still be tight when we do it? Tight as a ...
A. 13 December 2010: *sigh*
Yes, she will be.... (read in full...)
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