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I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2009) 14 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *luedaisy22 writes:

I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and gave it to him after extra help and walked away real quick. He's a really nice person and I don't think that he would tattle on me to the principle or something. What do you think is gonna happen? Someone told me I'm gonna get "The Talk". What really is 'the talk'? Am I in trouble??

Please help. Thanks so much.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010):

I have the same going for me ,

i want to tell him i'm thinking of doing it but i don't know what to write what did you write message me and just to get me an idea how to write a letter , because i'm leaving and want him to know even though clearly nothing's going to happen i know that for a fact i just need to let him know i feel this is a mission i need to complete to get it out of my chest for life so like yeah message me and i'll tell you the details about my crush on him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009):

Hey. I did the same, when i was 14, and im nearly 16 now. i dont think my teacher told anyone though, and we talk all the time, and he even has feeling for me. but i will never pursue them now, i know how much he loves his family..

Getting over him is still hard, but i am going to to it.

Good luck. everything will be fine

xxxx

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A female reader, bluedaisy22 United States +, writes (24 April 2009):

bluedaisy22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for your help! =]

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (24 April 2009):

jessica04 agony auntThis is why I don't recommend students making their feelings know to teachers. But you weren't in trouble, and now you know that you have a caring, honest teacher. You'd be amazed at how many male teachers take advantage of young girls with crushes.

Don't worry, school is almost over. Just buckle down and get to work to show him that there's no hard feelings or anything. But for future reference it would not be wise to make feelings for a teacher known, even to friends. You don't want rumors starting ever.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

Glad you got some of it ironed out. We knew you wouldn't be in trouble! =) Classes may be a bit awkward, but over time it will fade... As with your crush for this man.

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A female reader, bluedaisy22 United States +, writes (23 April 2009):

bluedaisy22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

UPDATE:

I didn't get in trouble... thankfully. I didn't even talk to him. He gave the letter to the guidance counselor and I had a meeting with her. Not what I expected. I didn't even get warning that it was inappropriate... she said it was totally normal. But now 'm kind of upset because class is kinda awkward now. :(

I'm also upset because I'm still head over heels for the man...

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (23 April 2009):

jessica04 agony auntYes, if there is a "problem" between the student and teacher, then it is up to the school administration to decide whether or not to move you. They can and will if they decide it is for the best.

They probably won't. This doesn't sound like the biggest thing that has ever happened between a teacher and a student, and if he can show it is completely one sided (as in it is only coming from you) then they will probably be ok with keeping you in his class.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (23 April 2009):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntI am trying to become a teacher. This is what will happen, your teacher will tell his supervisor so that his supervisor will know what's going on, in case you try to lie or something and claim that the teacher likes you or has made an advance at you, so his supervisor will know beforehand that you like him.

And as far as this "talk" you talk about, he will probaby tell you that he doesn't feel the same way for you or that what you said was inappropriate? Idk.

And then things between you and him are going to be awkward in class, and he is going to distance himself from you more, you know, such as leaving his classroom door open when he is tutoring you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

oh…the mind heart and eyes of being 13-15…what a nice time in our lives…when we believe in true love and disney movies…stick with guys your own as at least until your out of high school…excluding the very thought of teachers of course, older guys will typically take advantage of you…even if they seem soooo nice…you gotta be careful…a lot of older guys specialize in putting up fronts to get what they want from younger girls…and women everywhere always seem to have this need to VERBALIZE their feelings…guys aren't this way…girls can easily make fools out of themselves by saying too much…esp at a young age…watch your words in life…always whether it be in professional or casual relationships

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A female reader, bluedaisy22 United States +, writes (23 April 2009):

bluedaisy22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

If it is the FOURTH term is it too late to be switched out of the class? I don't want that to happen, honestly.

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A female reader, bluedaisy22 United States +, writes (23 April 2009):

bluedaisy22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

If it is the third term is it too late to be switched out of the class? I don't want that to happen, honestly.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2009):

Your teacher will give the note to his boss.

He has to do this as if you made a false accusation and the note was found he would look REALLY bad. If he reports you as having a crush on him and then you falsely accuse him of something then they will know there is a history.

I'm not saying you ever would lie about him, but he still has to be safe rather than sorry.

So your principal will probably read the note, call your parents, let them read the note, then you will get called in and told that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable.

They may move you out of his classes etc as well.

We ALWAYS advise people to NOT tell their teachers about their feelings and just try to get over them instead. It's just not worth the embarrassment.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (23 April 2009):

jessica04 agony auntYou aren't in trouble. Let me repeat: You are NOT in trouble!

If he is a responsible teacher who cares about his job and his integrity, then yes, he will let the situation be known to the counselors and principal.

They may call you in and have a little meeting with you about what is and is not appropriate behavior for him. They know students get crushes on teachers. What they're worried about is how a teacher will react, not the student.

Depending on what they decide, they might switch you into another teacher's class. This is only a precaution to make sure YOU are protected.

You are not in trouble at all. Trust me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

Well, it's a bit late to say that was a silly thing to do! 'The talk'...If he is a decent and respectable man, he will sit you down and explain that it's sweet and cute etc etc, but he's the teacher and you're the pupil and it doesn't go any further than that.

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