A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want to diet but if I don't satisfy my hunger, I get migranes! Also, if I'm nervous or bored my stomach growls so loud, it's embarrasing!.I want to diet because my ex refuses to say I'm hot, or sexy because I'm so fat.And I can't get any man, it's so sad.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 hi
first of all are you sure you are fat?? see your doctor or join a weight management programme if your BMI (body mass index) is too high.
i am sorry but i am not gonna give you any tips on how to diet, that would be BEYOND irresponsible of me wouldn't it?
did your ex actually SAY that he dumped you because you are fat or have you just assumed this?? if he did in fact say it to you, he is just a tool, and that's why he dumped you
if you are concerned about your weight you need to see your doctor
xx
A
female
reader, AnnaW219 +, writes (21 January 2011):
 well that isn't your problem your boyfriend isn't good enough for you if your a big lady so what it's your choice you will find the right person your just have to stop looking and never doubt yourself always have your head held high because everyone is a uique beautiful human being including you
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A
female
reader, YinAndYang +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Sweetie you're perfect the way you are =). But if you choose to change, you can try to go to a gym, or choose healthier food choices.
A man should love you for the way you are, and finding that is a treasure you need to hold on to. You sound like an honest, young woman who is ready to find that special someone. I think any man will be lucky to have you.
Rememeber, your family is always there for you. When the times are tough you can ALWAYS turn to your family. Now, young lady, your true love will come in shining armor and will accept you for who are, sweetie. =) I hope this helps you!
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Have you thought that you get migrants because you don't drink enough fluids? Not drinking enough gives you the illusion of being hungry, whereas your body is actually dehydrated and craving water.
If you are making a conscious effort to lose excess weight, it is important to know what your body wants. I have recently shed 28lbs due to drinking instead of snacking, eating lots of filling veg and protein and exercising every day, and its been easier than people make it out to be.
Dieting is awful on you body, you need a lifestyle change.
Wanting to change for the opinions on someone else isn't going to work.
What will work is being honest with yourself, knowing that changing your lifestyle will help YOU. All those other people can either accept you as you are or jump off a cliff.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 If you get migraines unless you always eat then why aren't you taking medicine against the migraines? They do exist you know. And can't you diet without starving yourself?
I think perhaps you should ask your doctor about this. Going for long walks and jogging is also your best bet for loosing weight.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (20 January 2011):
Maybe a bit of a revolutionary idea but If you want to be a normal healthy weight then live a balanced life where you eat normal portions of food and do daily exercise.
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A
female
reader, soft2020 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 A female reader, soft2020 writes ( 20 January 2011 )
Hi anonymous, I wish I had a marvelous miracle self
esteem tablet to give to you with super energy boosters,
unfortunately there is no such thing. Many times in my
life I had to endure the pain of criticism coming from
many women and men based on my size. People that put us
down in the world is very small and very uneducated they
still have a lot of learning and unfinished growing up to do in the mind department. Your ex may have been feeding
on your self esteem to gain power over you and to boost
up his own ego and self esteen so he would feel proud of
himself to know that he has a lot of control over someone
else and you was the perfect victim. Maybe as a little
boy while growing up his parents was always criticizing him
"You are never going to mount to anything ever in your
life son" and it left him feeling powerless with no
control to do anything about it! Another example would be
the ruler of Russia and his great power and control over
his people when he makes demands and request he commands others to do what he wants under his powers and zaps
others of their self esteem to gain control over his
own. A short example, "Control Freeks on the job" search-
ing for victims. My advice to you is not to worry about
someone elses opinion of yourself and what they think of
your size, there are lots of big women out there that men
adore and prefer rather than if you were slender. What's
more important is how you feel about yourself is what matters the most and that you raise up your self esteem
and not let anyone bring it down. Pamper yourself buy a
new outfit and shoes in your size and visit a styling
salon and get a fabulous hairstyle and add a little
light makeup dress for success even if there is nowhere
to go! it will uplift your self esteem very high this
will make others back off and at the same time may even
give you compliments and you will feel more in charge of your own life and like a queen! trust me it worked for me
, but my problem was the opposite of yours I was slender
and still is. When I changed my style the way I dressed
and started holding my head up I started getting compliments rather than put downs and still do today it
shows others that you care about and love yourself and they will too, you have more power over your own life than
you know get out and enjoy it and learn to love yourself.
Take care of youself and I wish you lots of luck.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (20 January 2011):
You don't need to change a thing to be confident in who you are. You will never be satisfied with yourself until you reach perfection, which let me tell you, will never come. There will always be something to fix; something about yourself that you're convinced makes you less of a beautiful person.
There are plenty of guys out there who can find beauty in a woman without it pertaining to her weight. There are also a lot of guys who find curves feminine and gorgeous. Instead of changing yourself for guys who don't respect you, try embracing yourself as you are and you might find the guy you've always been waiting for who loves you exactly how you are.
But it is also important to stay healthy, so make sure to get regular exercise, even if its little things like taking a walk every day. Diets are usually NOT healthy at all. They often deny your body of certain nutrition or substance you need to maintain healthy skin and organ production and functions. Don't deny yourself basic nutrients and risk harming your body for a long long time just to impress people who don't accept you as you are. You won't find happiness there.
I wish you all the best. Remember; you are a beautiful woman and some guy will appreciate it.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Sweety makes me so mad that you feel this way.. Broke my heart when you said ur stomach makes noise so loud u get embarassed..
Your're very young & have a full life ahead.. Love yourself the way ur & pls don't let people tell u otherwise. What's important is to be happy, live a respectful life, achieve your goal, be good to ur family & don't do anything illegal..
But if you want to loose weight, do the right way, for ur ownself & for your health.. Exercise, carry water bottle, eat healthy, don't eat junk food, fast food, soda.. I mean you know the basic stuff.. 6 small meals a day, lots of fruit & vegetables..
Also, when ur eating don't think of gainning weight. When u stress yourself about I think that's when u do gain weight.. (Make sense?) Enjoy your food, eat slowly..
Stress makes you gain weight..
Wish you the best..
Love, respect yourself, be happy then people will feel the same & if you have good energy people & men will love to be around you..
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A
female
reader, casey-jane +, writes (20 January 2011):
 only change if its what you want. You are your own person, if people dont like what they see, thats there problem. But if you truely want to change exercise, but dont turn it into a chore. Get a exercise dvd with a celeb you like, or get the dance workout dvd so you are exercising to some of your favourite songs, you could also get the girls round and do it together, just make it fun and enjoyable. And as for your ex, it's his loss not yours, you dont need some one as shallow as him in your life, hope i helped
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A
female
reader, maddison +, writes (20 January 2011):
 your ex is not even worth a second thought you do not need him to tell you how hot or sexy you are because he is obviously quite shallow anyway. As for the weight loss your health is the most important thing everything balanced and in moderation with some exercise is what i say, so long has your satified and healthy. Any man you end up with will look way past any weight you do or dont have and like you for you and if he doesnt he wouldnt be worth being with either.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Okay first of all, you should only go on a diet if you feel your weight or size is causing a health issue, not because your ex said or implied that you're too fat. Size does not play a factor in how attractive you are, I know of plenty chubby people who are gorgeous, and even more attractive are the people who display confidence.
Secondly, if you feel you need to lose weight, as someone below said go see a nutritionist, they're the best people to go to for advice in that matter. However, the ideal thing to do is to basically eat less and do more. Don't starve yourself, eat several small meals a day, just eat healthily - and if you want to snack, go for a healthy option such as fruit or a yoghurt or something. As for doing more, stay active - you can do something simple such as jogging around the block, or you can join your local gym.
That's the best way to stay healthy, don't go on some fad diet, they don't tend to work and if they do, they don't have lasting results.
Finally, don't let your ex's opinion knock your confidence. Don't try and lose weight because of what he's said, do it if you honestly think you need to [see a nutritionist for advice]. You probably "can't get a man" because of your lack of confidence and you feel worthless, not because you're unattractive. Start finding things you love about yourself, do things that make you feel good, and your levels of self-worth will increase.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): Diets don't work, because as soon as you go back to 'normal' eating, the weight goes back on, what you need to do is change your lifestyle, healthy eating and some exercise, but it needs to be a change for life.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (20 January 2011):
 slash, your ex was either a jerk who actually did find you attractive but wouldn't admit it (why else would he have had a relationship with you?) or that used you for sex; either way I wouldn't hold his opinion up too highly.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (20 January 2011):
I don't really want to advocate weightloss schemes not just because they often don't work but i don't really know if you need it. I think the best thing you could do would be to go see a nutritionist because it's their job to make sure you balance out healthy eating choices with satisfying portions; plus having someone there to regulate your diet--or actually say you don't NEED to diet-- having that extra support in whichever form is helpful.
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