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Three months pregnant and he gets on my nerves all the time

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2011) 14 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am three months pregnant and ever since I have lost complete interest in the father/boyfriend. He gets on my nerves ALL the time and is always loveydovey and sensitive and it pisses me off. i feel like our relationship will fall apart through this pregnancy which is terrible for my baby. our relationship was amazing before this and i was head over heels for him. is there anything i can do to fix this relationship before its too late?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He is 17... and doesn't.believe he is the father even though I am 100% sure... we will get a dna test... do I have to wait until he's 18 for child support?

I feel like myself alone will be the best for my baby, thanks guys (:

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (4 April 2011):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntWell, OP...

You are wrong...

It will have a great father figure and a great mother figure.

YOU will be the father and the mother.

A man worthy of being a father, eventually, can help you. Right now, you be both parents. Your head is on more straight than anyone in this story.

Don't twist it with ideas that because you have a vagina you can't be a good father figure.

You will do great and your child will do well too :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I did end up leaving him because he is a complete ass. He told me he went to a party and got drunk and that was the last straw for me that he wasn't in this with me. I used to be addicted to heroin and used just about everything else on occasion. I've been clean since last May. I've always had temptations for heroin but replaced it with weed. But ever since I've been pregnant there is no way in hell that I would ever use again, anything. He promised me he would stay clean with me and he didn't and him telling me he got drunk made me feel like he's done more than that. He's not ready to be a father so he's not going to be one. Just biologically and through child support. He took the break up hard and told my dad a bunch of lies such as I'm still using, I sell drugs etc. Completely out of my character. Considering I have no friends because I'm terrible at choosing them so I keep my family close, they know I never go out. He plays dirty and that's someone I can never trust. He also said that if I don't get an abortion that he will kill the baby himself when he gets the chance... PSYCHO?? I love this kid with all my heart and I will never let anyone hurt it. ( I dont know the gender yet)

Stupidly, I gave him a second change to change, not dating but I kept contact with him to update how the baby is doing. Just cut that off because today he told me is smoking pot, drinking etc. I'M DONE. I just feel like it's not fair for my baby not to have a father in it's life. I'm 18 and going to have a kid and I'm not the most attractive, either. I feel like if the father of the kid is not in its life, my child will never have a father figure. help?

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (12 March 2011):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntthat is not lovey dovey, that is insecure. I thought you meant he would do stuff like make dinner for you and give you massages and be more careful when in the bedroom.

Leave his ass.

A child is better off with a great single mother than a bad set of parents.

You got this shit.

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (10 March 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntThat's a low blow when I guy screams at you that he doesn't even beleive it's his baby when you both know it is. That to me is a sign of big trouble ahead. Either he is to immature to be a good husband and father. Or he is a real jerk. Niether one is going to be very helpful or suportive to you over the next couple of years. He needs to grow up.

And if he can't you and the baby might be better off without him. Make sure he still sends monetary support however. That is the least he could do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We've been dating over a year, two years July. Like today he wanted to leave me cuz I've been such a bitch and I completely broke down then got pissed and told him he's never gonna see my kid because he was accusing me of cheating and saying he wants a dna test done. We just had a really bad fight today. He's sensitive to if I don't answer him ASAP he freaks out and think something is wrong. And if I'm mad I tell him to leave me alone so I can cool down but he never does and whined to me.

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntWhat do you mean by sensitive, actually? Is he sensitive about you, or is he sensitive about himself in reaction to you telling him to be less lovey dovey? If it is the latter, leave him.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

this sounds like it could be hormonal. have you ever suffered from premenstrual syndrome and felt totally irritated by him and other things? does this feel similar?

how do you actually feel about the pregnancy? if you feel like this was a total accident and you now feel trapped it could be that you are resenting him and blaming him somewhat. tell him how you feel and ask him to be patient with you until your negative feelings subside coz its obvious that you still want to be with him or else you wouldn't be writing here to ask for advice on how to cope with these feelings.

as you say the relationship was amazing before it probably will be again. you may feel different in a few weeks even. pregnancy does crazy things to our emotions. pregnancy is like a hormonal roller coaster! i suggest you read up about the effects, it is a very common thing and i am sure you will find testimonials from women who have gone through exactly the same

xx

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

fishdish agony auntif you're close with your family and some friends, i'd consider asking them what they think you should do. maybe at this point they're better judges of character than you are (I've never been pregnant though so I'm not speaking from personal knowledge of what the hormones do)

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntHow long were you dating him before you got pregnant?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just feel like I don't even love him anymore and I want nothing to do with him but for some reason I never leave.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011):

Honey, It's more than likely hormones. I am 6 months pregnant and I still get aggravated easily. Just TRY to be more patient..I know that's hard but at least try

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (27 February 2011):

fishdish agony auntjust tell him you need a little space, not a break up, but just he's coming on too strong.

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (27 February 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntHold on until the baby is born and see how you feel then. Besides all the hormones you have surging through your body you're both just in very different places right now.

You liked him well enough when you were both happy go lucky teenagers.Right? Well, the problem is that your not one anymore and he still is.

You see even though your baby is still inside you, you have already started to change from a teenager into a mother to be. A man doesn't really change until the baby is born and his is holding it in his arms. That's when it really hits him and he starts to becomes a dad.

So you've just got to give him a little time to catch up to you.

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