A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need help dealing with this. I've recently broken up with my first serious relationship. Anyways i feel like I'm bipolar. I am sad then depressed then I'm ok for a short while, then back again. I miss her a LOT. I don't know how to handle this. I'm being stupid but it hurts. when i see her or hear her I get a burning feeling in my stomach and tears are always close. what to do?
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (28 April 2013):
I think you need a serious reality check because you are being played here, big time. No girl should have to choose between one or the other and the same goes for you. She shouldn't have been cheating on you in the first place. And she broke up with you because you didn't give her time? Do you really believe that? Sounds more like she is looking for an excuse to be with the other person. I don't even understand why you would take her back after what she is putting you through.
If things were as good as you claimed, then she just doesn't deserve you. Forget her, try to go out with your friends and find yourself again. Sitting around crying and blaming yourself isn't going to bring her back and it sure isn't going to make u any better. There are other girls more deserving of your attention.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i didnt see it coming at all. things were great just great. she told me how much she loved me, how happy i made her, how i was the only person that can make her shake and blush like me. when i kissed her she shaked she lmost passed out a few times. my best friends which is her best friend is between us. i did imply nc for 3 weeks now. its HARD i miss her terribly. our friend says he cant tell if shes ok. she acts perfectly fine and that hurts. he asked one day why diddnt she talk to me anymore. she got very emotional turns out im the other guy. shes been involved with this other guy for a few years. she was trying to choose and i made a misteak. i didnt leave her alone to gather thoughts what she wanted. i was so use to talking to her all day. thats when she broke it off. she told our friend her heart was mine. made her feel guilty enough to cut off contact. she dosnt want to see me or be around me. my friend said she needs time but it seems like she hates me. is there any hope at all?
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (27 April 2013):
Dear OP,
I don't think you are bipolar or unnormal. Remember that song "the first cut is the deepest"? It's really like that. Until you' ve experienced your first unhappy love or your first breakup, you wouldn't believe how much pain it can cause.
You didn't write how you both came to break up. Did she leave you? Was it unexpected? Maybe it hurt you how this all ended and you didn't see it coming. Also, it's normal to miss someone very much.
I recommend you do either one of those two things:
1) If there are some things you still left unsaid or undone and you feel like this relationship shouldn't have ended, try to talk to her one more time. If she doesn't want to talk, respect that and try to move on.
2) If it's sure that it's over or if there are some good reasons why the both of you shouldn't be together, keep away from her. Delete her facebook friendship, don't see her at all if possible, don't text. Don't throw away the photos of you or anything like that, but put these things in a box and hide them somewhere so you don't look at them for some time. See her as a drug and this as some sort of detox. It's hard but you'll eventually find new ways to fill the void that she has left in your live. Also I agree with Nora, stay occupied, meet friends, go out but not to the places where she's hanging out. Don't stay home alone and get yourself in a bad mood too much.
Really, the worst thing - and a lot of guys do that - is to not try hard enough to stay away and cut contact. Don't give in to your curiosity on how she's doing or if she's missing you once you decided to let her go. No drunk texting and such!
Wish you all the best and keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (27 April 2013):
NO NO You are not being stupid you are reacting in a normal way believe you me we havw all being there.Trying to heal after a breakup of a relationship is very painful and it take time.Would you consider making new mixed friends . Doing a course-join a club of your choice something to take your mind of your ex-girl.Things will get better but it will take time but you will get there.Kind Wishes Nora B.
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