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Is it better to lose it with another virgin?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone, hope everyone is doing well. I have a question/issue and I'll try to explain it the best I can.

I'm a 19 year old virgin. It may be silly, but I take losing my virginity very seriously and want to lose it to the right person and not regret it later on in life.

I've always thought it would be best to lose my virginity to a guy who is also a virgin. I don't really know why I've made this decision but I don't want to feel embarrassed or insecure or feel like I have to compare to the other women he has slept with.

Well, I've never really dated much but the guys I have been with are never virgins. They've all slept with at least 3-5 women before.

I really like and care about this guy I've been with for about 5 months now, he is 23 but very experienced. He has been honest with me about everything and has told me he has slept with more than 10 women, which honestly upset me. He's a very good looking guy and talks to a lot of girls. I don't know if he would be the right person to lose it to.

So I guess my question is, is it best for a virgin to lose her virginity to another virgin? It's what I would prefer to do but I don't think it's going to happen like that. I just don't want to regret this decision and lose it to the wrong person and get hurt in the end. Am I making a big deal about this?

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (9 June 2013):

bruce lee agony auntI see what you mean. It is not good to regret making a big decision later on in life. I don't know what you should do. But remember that you will have to deal with all sorts of other big decisions later on in life. Talk to a Psychiatrist about it if it is really worrying you.

Adios.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013):

My partner and I had different levels of sexual experiences. I'd had several partners, he hadn't.

A few years later we're solidly committed and happy with no regrets.

Follow your intuition and do what feels right to you.

Ultimately, what matters is that you do it with someone who deeply cares about you, respects you and has the same values as you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013):

If you're in a relationship with this guy, I think its ok, especially as he has been honest with you. If he's not using you and you like each other, then it could work. Also, ten isn't that big a number, if he had sex for the first time at 18, that's only two a year.

Then again, I do agree with the first poster who said that different levels of sexual experience is a negative thing.

And as you said, your virginity is precious and it's good you take it seriously. So if you feel you should wait for another virgin then do it. It is your body and you only get to have sex for the first time once, right?

Just do what feels right for you. If that's wait, then wait!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013):

Having widely different levels of sexual experience is a bad sign for your overall relationship compatibility. Maybe people are too politically correct to admit this but its true.

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (7 June 2013):

Dear OP,

I've lost my virginity to someone who was more experienced and I was happy about that, because I felt very nervous and it was good someone else was in charge :). The first time is not the best time you'll ever have, probably, because everything's new and a little weird.

So, in a way I can understand where you're coming from and that you'd like someone who's on the same level of experience. On the other hand, some knowledge might come in handy and take away some pressure, because someone else will care about what to do. Just lose it when you are ready to someone you really care for. I think that's more important than the experience.

Good luck.

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