A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so i am 18 years old, my fiance is 26. we have been together for a few years and we have a pretty good sex life. generally at least once a day. im just wondering why he wants to continue looking at porn when he has me. (i'm a stripper) i'm extremely fit, and i think i look great but compared to the girls he's looking at i look semi-attractive. please help me figure out why he insists on porn...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): Well, I want to address a few things here. First, I've been in a similar situation as you. I'm an ex-porn star, and all the men I've dated since then and even my husband now, still look at porn (but not my porn). Guys just like checking out lots of different women; it doesn't make you more or less attractive to them. They just like a variety of women to lust after virtually. I wouldn't put much merit on it. Now, if he had an online dating account and had naked pics of other women around, well, that's something REALLY to be concerned about.Second, everyone on here is giving you hell about dating someone older. I always dated men older than me, and it's really no big deal. My husband now is 11 years old than me. As you get older, that matters even less. However...Third, it seems like you're fit and you take care of yourself - awesome! BUT, coming from another who was in the sex industry, you can do better than being a stripper. I'm sure the money is good (as it always is in that business), but a) beauty doesn't last forever b) if you're really that beautiful, get into legitimate modeling (even more lucrative!) c) beauty and brains is a better combo than just beauty so put that money into a good career. You don't have to be locked into a shitty 9-5 job to find success. Just find a passion beyond vanity, and you'll ultimately find your life more rewarding. At the very least, I did.
A
female
reader, maisy1  +, writes (19 May 2013):
HIOP if your 18 and hes 26 that's a big red flag. No disrespect OP but i'm 24 and i wouldn't date an 18 year old. I may have found it patronizing and insulting to have people tell me how young i was at 18 but now i appreciate how big the gap is between someone of 18 and a person in their mid twenties.Either he is immature and cant get a girlfriend his own age (they probably see the fact he just wants sex far more readily than an 18 year old would), OR he just like sexy young bodies.Op you say you have been together a few years? well just a year or two ago he would have been n adult male in his twenties while you were just a child, a minor. To be honest if a guy my age or older said he had an 18 year old stripper fiance i would be wanting to ask him some pretty serious questions about his maturity and his intentions. OP you say your engaged to be married? Why would you want to get engaged so, so young? You might be a legal adult now your 18 OP but just a few short years from now you will look back to your late teens and think "WOW! did i really used to think like that and see the world in that way?". What you want from life, your career, a relationship and your future at 18 is going to be very different to what you will want, need and feel at 23+. Please don't rush into anything.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): Op at 18 your still very young. Yes your legally an adult but non of us at 18 have the same maturity level, life experience and view of the world as those who are in their mid twenties onwards.
With that in mind i do wonder why a man of 26 would want a relationship with a girl of 18. He is moving into the stage of his life when most people start to want to settle down, focus on career and leave behind their teenage behaviors. Even those that don't, in the nicest possible sense, appreciate with the experience and knowledge that age brings just how young 18 actually is. You are barely an adult and you are at a completely different stage in life compared to him.
OP your 18 and say you have been together for several years? Hmmm! Lets say you have been together for three years: at the time of first getting together you would be 15 and under the age of consent, he would have been a grown man of 23! Does that not set alarm bells ringing because it should! less than a year ago you would have been a minor, a 17 year old kid, he meanwhile would have been a 25 year old man. Op that's not right.
I'm a similar age to your BF and i wouldn't have a relationship with an 18 year old girl as i would see her as being way too young. Adult in a legal sense yes, but at 25+ you really do appreciate how much we all change and mature throughout out late teens and through to our mid twenties. The fact he has been with you for several years, when you were under the age of adulthood while he was a grown man, says a lot about this guy and his need for porn.
Either he is very immature for his age and looks for a much younger partner because he lacks the maturity to engage in relationships with women his own age, or as his actions seem to show, he just likes sleeping with a young girl with a hot body.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (19 May 2013):
Dear OP,
Considering you are together for several years and you being an 18-year old stripper, it means he's met you and probably had sex with you when you were still at a minor age, so it was probably illegal. And he was supportive of your career choice, which most men wouldn't be.
THIS is making me think about your post, not the porn thing, which happens a lot in relationships.
You gave us very few informations about your situation, so maybe I am wrong to worry about you or to judge your fiance.
But maybe, instead of worrying about his porn consumption, think about whether his such a great guy that you want to marry him. I mean, what else do you both have in common other than a great sex life? Can you trust each other, are you there for each other through good and bad times? Does he love you for other things than your body? Would he still be there if you gained 10 pounds or got really sick?
I don't know if this was of any help to you, but I wish you the best. I hope your fiance is a better guy than I think.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): Considering you are using your body to promote sex and to stimulate men (or women) you are at the same level as someone who does porn, in, not respecting yourself or your body. It's unfortunate that whatever went wrong in your childhood, it's crushed your self-esteem and, you can't love yourself enough to choose something respectable and do good with your life and have the ability to be confident. I hope one day you will get out of that mess and understand that you can be better than what you are now. Eventually, that body is not going to feed your need for attention, and a man will be wanting some kind of substance out of you in your life. Perhaps you can try and gain that instead of wasting your life away with horny boys, cheaters and pervert old men.
I really can't see the logic in your question.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2013): My guess is he's been using porn since long before he met you, so it's just a habit for him. You could be the hottest girl on Earth, and it wouldn't matter. For whatever reason, men just can't look at only one girl for the rest of their lives for their fantasies. Another thing, you shouldn't compare yourself to porn women, because for one it's not even a fair comparison. They are wearing a lot of professional makeup, hair extensions, and chances are their boobs and vaginas have been surgically altered for that "cookie cutter perfect" look. Basically, they are exaggerated versions of stereotypically attractive women. Off camera, they are only human and have flaws just like the rest of us. With all the help they have, you would be just as attractive. Lastly, why don't you just ask him why he does it? Do it in a nice way, though. You're more likely to get an answer if you don't sound like you're criticizing or judging him.
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female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (18 May 2013):
It's something to do with spreading the seed, it doesn't matter how attractive you are they will still have this desire, it sucks.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (18 May 2013):
He may well be so used to it now that he is addictive to it-porn has an addictive quality all too often, unfortunately. It may be that he has a high sex drive and so uses the porn for extra stimulation on top of the active sex life you enjoy together. It doesn’t mean he is comparing the girls to you, some men say they use porn functionally to get turned on but they seem to separate that out from their real-world relationship, where emotion and intimacy are also involved. It’s not like they’re fantasising about the girls or wishing their partners were more like them.
IF it bothers you, talk to him. The best way to get an answer to this question is to ask him, and be honest with him if you don’t like it.
I wish you all the very best.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 May 2013):
 Porn isn't about comparison anymore than a woman consciously sizing up her partner in comparison to the vibrator or her fingers or any other solo sex relief tool. Like a vibrator or steamy romance novel stimulates a woman, sexual images stimulates a man. He desires you no less, nor is he looking at you as "not enough" any more than a woman with a detachable shower head considering that her partner can't satisfy her enough.
You being a stripper are in a very unique position to completely understand the role you have in a man's sexuality, especially his private sexuality. How many men, after having seen you or maybe received a lap dance by you, have gone home, sweep up his own partner, and made love to her with a ravenous fervor until he came with an intensity that matched his heightened desire?
Many of your clients have partners, and your boyfriend watches porn. It simply means that yours, his, and their sexuality is multi-faceted. Porn is his mental vibrator during solo times. You are his love.
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