It really bothers me that he's having a family with someone other than me
Q. I have a problem. Back in January, I was told by a guy on facebook that my on again off again boyfriend and father of my three year son was seeing another woman while he was trying to work things out with me. At first I wasn't bothered by it since ...
A. 24 October 2011: I feel and understand your pain. My ex reacted the same way when I filed for divorce, she got angry. Cheaters don't take any responsibility for their actions, so they never view anything as their fault - it is much easier to blame those around them. ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait to see if he contacts me?
Q. how long do i wait before i move on? Went on a first date, at the end he said 'you should holler at me some time' i said okay, but im not one to 'holler' at guys. so am i supposed to contact him first?? i would just like to wait to see if he ...
A. 1 September 2011: Again, no... I suggest you do not contact him. While I acknowledge that is what he said when your first date ended, the main thing here is a guy's actions and not his words. If he's interested in you, he will pursue. He will call and ask you for a ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait to see if he contacts me?
Q. how long do i wait before i move on? Went on a first date, at the end he said 'you should holler at me some time' i said okay, but im not one to 'holler' at guys. so am i supposed to contact him first?? i would just like to wait to see if he ...
A. 30 August 2011: First, I agree with the advice not to call him, even though he asked you to contact him after your first date. If a guy is truly interested he will pursue. I'm not an advocate of playing games, but expecting a guy to put in some effort is very ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to only want a really attractive woman? Or am I just disillusioned with an unreal fantasy?
Q. okay I don't wanna seem shallow or anything of the sort but I have a dilemma ive been facing for a good while while in the dating world. Since as far back as I can remember I always pictured my self with a beautiful woman and lately ive been finding ...
A. 30 August 2011: It is normal, and you shouldn't feel that you're being shallow or holding on to an unreal fantasy. I am pretty picky myself so I deal with the same thing. The only downside to being this way is that I sometimes go pretty long stretches without a ... (read in full...)
In a relationship with a partner sending nude photos to others?
Q. I am wondering what someone say about this situation. If you are in a relationship with someone, a long term relationship, is it ok for one of those people to send nude pictures of themself to other random people online, in hopes of getting some ...
A. 29 August 2011: Some people will find this OK as long as they know about it. For example, I have a friend who is in a pretty open relationship. She and her partner have had threesomes, which she encouraged, and she's tempted by the idea of swinging. She sends pics ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a virgin guy to want to marry a virgin girl?
Q. dear cupid, is it wrong for a virgin guy to want to marry a virgin woman with great personality,respect,trust and love? It seems when i mention this to women they think am crazy or i have insecurities....
A. 26 August 2011: I wouldn't call the idea wrong. If you are insistent on finding a virgin woman to marry and that's the only way which you believe will make you happy, then that is just how you feel. That makes it neither right nor wrong, it just is. However, ... (read in full...)
Sex has become a chore. I want to have sex but not with him!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. To be honest, he never satisfied me 100%, but I enjoyed being with him. For the past two months, sex has been a chore. I want to have sex, but not with him. I literally get a little pissed off inside when he ...
A. 26 August 2011: I agree with CaringGuy and the others who are suggesting you end the relationship. Based on the additional information I really don't see any other option. It sounds like the only thing this guy wants out of sex is to please himself, unfortunately. ... (read in full...)
I really want to ask my co-worker out - before somebody else does!
Q. Hi everyone. I am the same guy with the following post. Please read through it cause I want guidence really bad. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-find-out-if-this-beautiful.html After that I have moved quite further. I talk to her a...
A. 25 August 2011: OK, if you like this girl and want to date her, then as the other posters have commented you need to just go for it and ask her out. There's no secret to asking, and there is no guarantee she'll say yes. She may even have a boyfriend already.
... (read in full...)
Sex has become a chore. I want to have sex but not with him!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. To be honest, he never satisfied me 100%, but I enjoyed being with him. For the past two months, sex has been a chore. I want to have sex, but not with him. I literally get a little pissed off inside when he ...
A. 25 August 2011: It sounds like you and your boyfriend are lacking in the area of communication. When he does something you like you need to let him know, and when he does something you don't like you need to guide him in the right direction. If he's not getting ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a lasting marriage?
Q. I read so many questions here about married people who have fallen out of love, married people who cheat, married people who are tempted to cheat, etc. etc. Does marriage even mean anything these days, other than being tied together by law?...
A. 24 August 2011: I absolutely believe that yes, marriages can last. A couple can fall in love, get married and truly live happily ever after... complete with a house, a dog and 2.5 kids. However, many marriages do fail. The statistics don't lie, over half of mar... (read in full...)
I'm not physically attracted to her but I love her personality
Q. Hi. I've known a girl for about a year. She has made it very clear to me that she really likes me and wants to form a relationship with me. I really like her too. She had a great personality and she is someone I would normally go for. The onl...
A. 24 August 2011: I have to agree with the other advice given. Do not pursue a relationship, it wouldn't be fair to her. Mutual attraction is virtually a must in order for a relationship to work. While women can become attracted to a man over time it usually doesn't ... (read in full...)
Dating and sleeping around
Q. I need some advice just like everyone else does. My girlfriend and I started as a one night stand and quickly progresses into a relationship. We met on a Sunday and went out for drinks that Wednesday and then to the movies that Friday. Each tim...
A. 24 August 2011: I understand to some extent why you're having trouble getting over this. It sounds like your girlfriend had a fwb situation with her co-worker, and she also slept with you right away. As you said, the two of you started as a one night stand and it ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable for asking my wife to limit what photo's she puts on facebook?
Q. My wife is into facebook and constantly takes pictures of us and our son (5 years old) and puts them up on her facebook page. She has something like 200-300 facebook "friends" (I'm not sure how many because her friends list is blocked and I do...
A. 24 August 2011: Yea, I feel you are definitely being unreasonable. It is quite normal to share pics of what happens in one's life on facebook. Family vacations, weddings, dinner parties, even mundane things like giving the dog a bath... it is all perfectly ... (read in full...)
I just wanna be friends with the guy
Q. So there is this guy who I've known for a few years now. He works at the coffee shop I go to almost everyday (hey I like the tea). When I sit outside at the outdoor deck area he usually takes his break and sits and talks with me. We became friends ...
A. 19 August 2011: From a guy's perspective, here's what I'm reading - you told him you don't want a serious relationship and you flirt with him a lot. That's sending the message that you're open to a casual relationship, like a FWB situation. If you want to convey ... (read in full...)
What do guys think of girls with tattoos?
Q. Question for guys please..what do you think of girls with tattoos?!? I'm 33, attractive and single and I have 2 tattoos, one tribal design on my lower back and some writing down my wrist. Both are small and plain black. However I'm worried it puts ...
A. 19 August 2011: I'm 35, and I find tattoos on a woman to be quite attractive. I do not view girls with ink as trashy or classless, but rather as more adventurous. For me anyway, there also seems to be a correlation between tattoos and how much fun a woman is in ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken father of three loves his wife with all his heart, but.....
Q. My wife sent extremely sexually suggestive photos of herself to a guy that she had a sexual relationship with just before we started dating. We had been together for nine years when she did this. It was a part of some extremely sexually suggestive ...
A. 18 August 2011: I wanted to add a couple of remarks that I didn't address in my first response. About the children - the reason I tried so hard to make things work with my ex-wife is that we have a daughter. I was extremely concerned with the effect a divorce... (read in full...)
Heartbroken father of three loves his wife with all his heart, but.....
Q. My wife sent extremely sexually suggestive photos of herself to a guy that she had a sexual relationship with just before we started dating. We had been together for nine years when she did this. It was a part of some extremely sexually suggestive ...
A. 17 August 2011: I'm sorry to have to say this, but I've been in your shoes and I know what it feels like... I also know how this is eventually going to play out. Your wife has emotionally left the marriage, I'm afraid, so any time you spend trying to "make it work" ... (read in full...)
For the ladies: Any advice on dating an older man?
Q. This is a short and sweet one - does anyone have any advice on dating an older man? I have recently met a lovely 39 year old man (I am 24) and we have been on a few dates, everything is going great so far and we are getting on really well. The...
A. 29 July 2011: I can provide some perspective from the viewpoint of an older guy who dates younger women. I'm 35 and as recently as six months ago I dated two women who are 22 and 23. The woman I'm courting right now is a little bit closer to my own age, she's 28, ... (read in full...)
Should I be specific and let him know that I'm looking to finish what we started the other night, sexually?
Q. Went out with a guy twice (but kind of knew him through mutual friends before that). First time, he was a perfect gentleman and only hugged me at end of night. A few days later, he invited me impromptu to hang out at his house w/a few guy friends ...
A. 27 July 2011: I understand your concern OP, but I'm all but certain this guy is open to sex with you. For one he's a guy, and very, VERY few guys will turn down sex. He's unattached, so if you make sex available to him he's almost guaranteed to accept it... you ... (read in full...)
Is there anything we can do to improve our sex life? I don't know why I'm not interested in sex!
Q. My husband and I have been married less than a year. The problem is that I have very little sex drive. I have never been interested in having sex with him, aside from when we first started sleeping together (and even that was short lived). He was ...
A. 27 July 2011: Unfortunately, this is a fairly common situation where one of the people in a relationship (or both) has little or no experience outside of their partner. OP, you stated that your husband was your first. So initially the "newness" of sex itself ... (read in full...)
I get him off, but he doesn't seem like he wants to get me off. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend, who is 21 and without any previous sexual experiences, and I (20 and having already had one sexual partner) have started becoming sexually active just within the past few weeks. I just started giving him blow jobs within the last week. ...
A. 27 July 2011: I can really relate to your boyfriend, as I lost my virginity at 21 to a girl that was more experienced. RedAthena makes an excellent point - up until he met you, everything your boyfriend learned about sex likely came from pornos and what his guy ... (read in full...)
I'm horny all the time. Is this normal?
Q. hey, to jump straight into it im horny all the time and dont know what to do. iv always have a very high sex drive, but lately its much worse. latley im finding myself mastubating at any chance i have, but once i do this about half hour l...
A. 27 July 2011: Masturbating 7-8 times a day might be a bit much, certainly for a guy it would be, but as long as it isn't interfering with your normal daily life then it is probably just fine. People who have a high sex drive are horny a lot, even all the time for ... (read in full...)
My bestfriend's brother is texting me. I don't want to reply and risk losing my friend. What do I do?
Q. okay so i have had the same best friend for 6 years and we are always together which means im mostly over her house, she has an older brother and we fight all the time, some say like a married couple, but she has said that she doesnt have friends ...
A. 27 July 2011: Unfortunately, in many cases it is an either-or proposition. Either you protect your friendship with your bff and do not pursue anything with her brother, or you risk your friendship by trying out a relationship. It really comes down to a decision ... (read in full...)
How many months should pass after a serious relationship ended before a new relationship is not consider a rebound?
Q. So almost everybody tends to have a rebound relationship after a serious relationship ends...my question is, how many months should pass after a serious relationship(Like 1-2 yrs relationship)ended before a new relationship is not consider a ...
A. 27 July 2011: For me, it takes about six months from the time a LTR ends until I feel centered and back to my normal self. If I start another relationship during that time the odds are it will turn out to be a rebound and just won't last. If I jump in before I'm ... (read in full...)
All about tattoos...just how bad is the pain?
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question, but I get a lot of great advice from this site and it's always my first choice. My question is for those who have tattoos. I've been looking at a lot of tattoo related things lately, and my biggest curio...
A. 27 July 2011: I have one large tattoo that takes up a substantial portion of my back. It took several hours for the artist to complete it. I won't lie, some parts hurt quite a bit. The most painful areas are those where there's not much "meat" under the skin - ... (read in full...)
Should I be specific and let him know that I'm looking to finish what we started the other night, sexually?
Q. Went out with a guy twice (but kind of knew him through mutual friends before that). First time, he was a perfect gentleman and only hugged me at end of night. A few days later, he invited me impromptu to hang out at his house w/a few guy friends ...
A. 27 July 2011: "Sure, it seems like a guy who texts u from a bar, to come over in middle of night, doesn't want a relationship with you."
That says it all. Unfortunately, I have to conclude that this guy is not looking for a relationship. All of his actions ... (read in full...)
Should I stop watching porn?
Q. Can anyone tell me of any reasons that they can think of as to why I shouldn't watch porn? I watch it every couple of weeks, or so - just when I'm in the mood to. But then I feel sort of guilty, like I shouldn't be watching it. Do you think I should ...
A. 27 July 2011: Watching porn is a normal and perfectly healthy thing for an adult to do, as long as it isn't excessive... and watching every couple of weeks or so because you're in the mood for it is just fine. I'd say that's definitely well within an acceptable ... (read in full...)
Will I ever meet someone who won't cheat on me?
Q. My boyfriend and I just broke up two days ago. Prior to this we were having some problems, but we talked about it and things seemed to get better.Three nights ago was our anniversary,he never gets weekends off from work, but he requested off. At thw ...
A. 26 July 2011: The most important thing I have to say is this is in no way your fault, or your mom's fault. At all. Period. The poster that wrote that is completely misguided.
I can say I know how you feel and truly mean it. My ex-wife cheated on me, and had ... (read in full...)
Finding her very difficult to read....what should I do now?
Q. Hi there I work with a woman whom im very attracted to. We see each other occasionally but it always seems to be hit and miss on how she reacts to me. Some days I can go up and talk to her, and she will make me feel welcome and is happy to talk fo...
A. 26 July 2011: My advice is to forget this one, at least for now. You admit that it's a stretch to call her a friend, even though you've made repeated attempts to get to know her. She has not once approached you herself and is prone to ignoring you. Yea, I'm sorry ... (read in full...)
What is the typical refractory period and number of orgasms for men?
Q. What is a typical refractory period for men out there? By refractory period, I mean the time it takes for you after an orgasm to be erect again and ready for the next round. I'm sure it varies a lot, and surely varies with age. I'm just ...
A. 25 July 2011: I'm 35 and have noticed no change in my refractory period or ability to have multiple orgasms since I first started having sex at 21. It is a situational thing, though. For example, if I've had sex on several consecutive days then it is likely I'l... (read in full...)
How do I act around him at work?
Q. What does he mean by that? I really like him.;)..x? So I've finally given the guy at work my number, he rang me and we talked on the phone for over an hour. He said he likes me but he didn't think I'd give him my number, he wasn't expecting...
A. 25 July 2011: He sounds like a good, decent guy to me. The fact that he doesn't want to start seeing you until you leave work in September is a good sign. First it means he also wants to take things slowly. He is willing to wait several weeks before going out ... (read in full...)
After I orgasm my boyfriend cant keep touching me as its unbearable for me, do I have a problem?
Q. Hello, When I am masterbating with my boyfriend and he is rubbing my clit or going down on me it feels great and I can cum... But the problem is I can cum then it is unbearable to have him keep touching my clit, like I can't take it anymore~ It f...
A. 25 July 2011: In my experience, this is pretty normal. Upon achieving an orgasm, the clitoris becomes so sensitive for some women that further stimulation is unbearable. It is likely that if you give it a break for a few minutes, you'll be able to resume and ... (read in full...)
It really bothers me that he's having a family with someone other than me
Q. I have a problem. Back in January, I was told by a guy on facebook that my on again off again boyfriend and father of my three year son was seeing another woman while he was trying to work things out with me. At first I wasn't bothered by it since ...
A. 21 July 2011: I'm sorry to have to give this advice, but unfortunately your ex is not someone you should waste time on. He's done to another woman what he did to you. He got you both pregnant. He cheated on both of you. That's all you need to know.
For the sake... (read in full...)
I'm 27, she's 20 and a friend's sister's friend, is this a problem?
Q. I met a girl at a party the other day and we got on well although we were both quite drunk and I didn't think anything of it (Just assumed we were casually talking - i've never been good with signs!). After however friends of mine were saying t...
A. 21 July 2011: 1. A friend's sister's friend is definitely OK. That's plenty of separation, so if things don't pan out you won't run into her all the time. A friend's sister would be too close, for example, but this girl isn't your buddy's sister.
2. As far as y... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years, wife won't have sex and won't say why she doesn't want to. Should I leave?
Q. I have been with my wife for almost 20 years now. We have had a sexless marriage for most of that time. We were arguing about it even just 1 year into the relationship. It's not that we never, ever have sex, but we go years in-between having i...
A. 19 July 2011: My take on this - you and your wife married very young. At the time you were both still developing as individuals, and you both lacked the experience to know what you needed in a relationship and in a partner.
For example, you mentioned that you... (read in full...)
Is there a nice way to tell a guy that I'm not interested in dating anymore?
Q. I have been sort of dating this guy for a bit over a month, I'm physically attracted to him but that's it. I've been away for Xmas break. He texts me every day. He seems to really like me but I don't feel the same way. Is there an easy way to let ...
A. 19 July 2011: First, did you mean Xmas break? This is a new question and we're in July. Not exactly Christmas season. So I'm assuming you meant summer break???
I'll second the advice to be straightforward with him and do not offer friendship. I'm betting ... (read in full...)
Do guys care if their girlfriend is taller than them?
Q. I have been talking to this guy my friend introduced to me too online for quite awhile and he's going to be in my area soon soon so we're going to meet in person. I am tall, 5"10 to be exact, and I know he is about four to five inches shorter t...
A. 19 July 2011: I'm short for a guy, and my ex-wife is 5'10". So she's a couple inches taller than I am and the gap was even greater when she wore heels. It was never a problem, and in fact I was turned on by the fact that she is model height. I tend to prefer ... (read in full...)
Do you think you can determine how attractive you are by how attractive the people who hit on you are?
Q. I think that the question pretty much says it all. Do you all think that you can only be as attractive as the most attractive person that hits on you or asks you out? So if people you consider good looking ask you out, you are probably good looking ...
A. 19 July 2011: Attractiveness has many components, and unless someone is very shallow it extends beyond physical appearance. Additionally, attractiveness is subjectively rated. What someone finds attractive can be a total turnoff to others.
OP, the idea is to da... (read in full...)
I am getting the feeling that he may not want me to come up.
Q. I met this guy online last year. Not only is he 10 years younger but lives 2 hours by plane. Over the past year we have seen each other 3X and continued to chat, etc. We are planning to see each other the August Long Weekend. I am flying out to...
A. 19 July 2011: I have to agree with chickpea. I think this guy just isn't that into you, and he may even have met someone - or have his eye on someone - who lives in his area. LDR situations are very difficult because of the lack of in-person contact, so he should ... (read in full...)
How to cross over the friends zone?
Q. Hi, i need help because i like this girl and i really want to be more than friends with her,I want To Know how to ask her to hang out with me more. im pretty shy around girls but with her i surprised myself So ill start from the beginning...
A. 15 July 2011: If you communicate regularly over facebook, then use that to ask her to do something with you. It doesn't have to be anything like eating somewhere or going to a movie, it can be as simple as asking if she wants to go for a walk, play a game such as ... (read in full...)
Bad break up and our engagement has ended....what do I do now?
Q. I dated someone for 3 years. We got engaged in 2010 and broke up this May. He is now 27 and has only had 2 partners in an 8 year period. He is very athletic, tall, handsome. But he had a lot of weird beliefs about sex. He claimed to have a porn ...
A. 13 July 2011: I'll add another "just move on" vote. This guy changed, and not in a good way. It isn't your fault, so don't feel bad about it or put the blame on yourself. This guy is controlling, immature and possibly even deranged. He's not worth spending the ... (read in full...)
Are there any methods of temporary sterilization?
Q. What are some reliable forms of temporary sterilization for women? I'm on birth control, but I want something that's 100% without having to clip myself. I've never heard of one, but maybe others have? Are there anything out there? I'm currently ...
A. 13 July 2011: Condoms break, and women forget to take their daily pill sometimes, hence there is still a risk of pregnancy using those methods. However, there are two options that nobody has mentioned yet. 1. An intrauterine device, aka an IUD. The IUD is inser... (read in full...)
So why did he ask me for (not nude) pictures?
Q. Hello! I just wanted to ask for some outside advice on a guy that I recently met. I'll start at the beginning. I work in retail,and he was at my work for a couple of days selling subscriptions to our customers. Pretty much every female,including ...
A. 12 July 2011: I've done the same exact thing in similar situations. I'll meet a girl I am interested in, get her number, start conversations via text or calling, and then ask for a few pics. The reasons I do that are first so I have pics to show my friends. My ... (read in full...)
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