I need to turn up the heat in the bedroom.
Q. Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost five years and although i enjoy the sex it always seems to be the same and everytime we try different positions they dont seem to work out right or i dont orgasm. So i was wondering if anyone had ...
A. 11 January 2011: First Q - there are a lot of ways to spice things up, and every couple is different in what works for them. You could role play, introduce food like whipped cream and chocolate, try adding some toys into the mix, use a lube to change the experience ... (read in full...)
Does she cheat on me?
Q. I had a difficult relationship for one year. she was always being very rude to me. And she was always with a guy that was her colleague. Then, she broke up with me and went to work in a new school where her colleague was going to work also. A fe...
A. 11 January 2011: This girl is bad, bad news. She sounds a lot like my ex-wife, who was also screwing everything in sight behind my back. Show her the door!... (read in full...)
I want to date my co-worker.
Q. I want to ask out one of my male coworkers, but I'm not sure if it is a good idea. We talk and joke around a lot and he seems genuinely interested in me, but I don't want to make it awkward if he doesn't like me. How should I go forth in this ...
A. 11 January 2011: I'll echo the advice to go slowly, but think it is perfectly fine to date coworkers as long as there is no company policy against it. I met my ex-wife through work, and that relationship lasted for 10 years (though I quit and found a new job when ... (read in full...)
Should we still have sex anyway?
Q. I have been married to my husband for almost 3 yrs, it fell apart because I treated him like a nobody and wasnt very greatful for the things he did for me and our son. And now that I saw my mistakes he chose not to be with me anymore and I ...
A. 11 January 2011: While going through a divorce, I had to live with my ex-wife for several months. We did not continue to have sex during that time and I feel that it was the right decision. Divorce is a very emotional time, particularly with a child involved. It is ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship recover after cheating by a partner?
Q. I'm very curious about this because I have been cheated on. I would reallly like to move past it, and still be in a relationship with this man. He has done everything he can to earn my trust back and I do completely trust him again. I don't think he ...
A. 10 January 2011: I know a few different couples whose relationships survived through cheating, so it is possible. Personally I don't know how they do it, though. My ex-wife cheated on me, and the only thing that finally got me over the resentment and pain was when I ... (read in full...)
My BF and I are in our 40s', but is it ok for us to spend the night together, at the risk of setting a bad example to our kids?
Q. my boyfriend and I met 8 months ago and we are in our 40's. the problem is he has 2 daughters 20,22 and I have one son 7 years old. We don't live near eachother so we don't get much time alone. When we are together we can't be alone in our rooms ...
A. 8 January 2011: I think if you want to make things "legit", then engaged isn't enough. If you want to put all of the questioning to rest, then marriage is required.
As far as the two daughters, it sounds like they run their dad or he's using that as an excuse t... (read in full...)
Why can't I get past a 3rd date?
Q. I have been trying to date for a good 6 years now and no one has ever showed an interest in staying with me past a third date or so. I am 28 years old and have been rated an "8" on a looks scale from 1-10. I make close to 6 figures in a good ...
A. 8 January 2011: It's all about confidence and attitude. You have to project that you enjoy life to its fullest and that you will have your fun with or without the woman you're on a date with, so it is her loss if she chooses not to come along. You also can't come ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend spend holiday's with me
Q. I'm an older woman dating a much younger man. I am in my 40's and he's in his 20's. Actually he is 27. We met online about five months ago. We met face to face about 2 months ago. I like him a lot and he tells me that he likes me too. Most of the ...
A. 8 January 2011: He might still have something going on with one of his baby mamas, but it is also possible that he's telling the truth and he just wants to be around his kids for the holidays. He did introduce you to his family which is a good sign.... (read in full...)
My BF and I are in our 40s', but is it ok for us to spend the night together, at the risk of setting a bad example to our kids?
Q. my boyfriend and I met 8 months ago and we are in our 40's. the problem is he has 2 daughters 20,22 and I have one son 7 years old. We don't live near eachother so we don't get much time alone. When we are together we can't be alone in our rooms ...
A. 8 January 2011: Fabulosa is correct, and Cerberus is wrong. The two daughters are adults. They are having sex themselves. So, there's no damage to be done to them if you and your boyfriend are spending the night together.
However, the 7 year old is very impressi... (read in full...)
How long is long enough to expect commitment when you are sleeping with a guy??
Q. I began dating this guy about 2.5 months ago. I had just gotten out of a short term relationship, and before that had a baby and was in a long term before that. He had just gotten out of a divorce a year ago, and the night we first "hooked up...
A. 8 January 2011: I completely agree with Odds, except I have a suspicion that the FWB arrangement wasn't exclusive on his end. I've known all too many women who thought their casual hookups were exclusive only to later find out the guy they were sleeping with had ... (read in full...)
I want more from him than he can give me right now
Q. I'm hoping someone can help me. Here's my story. I'm seeing a man who lives over an hour from me and is going through a divorce. He has not moved out yet, however. He is still living with his wife/to be ex and kids while saving money to set-up ...
A. 8 January 2011: As a man who went through a divorce, my concern is that he probably started this relationship with you while he was still healing & getting over his failed marriage. So there's a definite risk you could be a rebound. There are different stages one ... (read in full...)
I will do whatever it takes to earn D's trust and hand in marriage.
Q. Hey before I get started please don't attack me because I know I was the asshole. Ok so I'll call say her names D. D worked with me for 16 months.she didn't work in my dept but we friendly.She was single but I was going out with two girls that ...
A. 8 January 2011: You cheated, so she doesn't trust you anymore. The harsh reality is you've probably blown this opportunity forever. That's what happens to "players" when they find someone they later realize they wanted something real with.... (read in full...)
I don't want kids but my husband does......
Q. my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for a total of 10 years.We've made it this far and relationship has been great in every way except that since the last 1 year he has been telling me that he is interested in ...
A. 7 January 2011: First of all, your own suggestion of seeking counseling is a very good one. A professional can be the unbiased buffer between you two to work this out.
That said, it is my firm belief that if either half of a couple does not absolutely want a c... (read in full...)
Ruined my chances?
Q. A few days ago I saw the girl I like in the hall. She said hi and smiled (because she liked me too), but I think I ruined my chances. We had gone out once before (but without any sort of action..close to our second date even..) And this is very ...
A. 7 January 2011: It is my belief that girls form an opinion of a guy pretty quickly in terms of whether he's someone they're willing to date or not. Since you had already established a baseline with this girl, I therefore doubt a small misstep like the one you ... (read in full...)
How much is too much when it comes to complimenting girls?
Q. I've had two very serious relationships in my life (they lasted one and five years respectively, and I was going to move in with the last one) and I see a common pattern between them. Okay, two relationships may not be statistically significant, but ...
A. 7 January 2011: In my experience, it is often the girls who have confidence and self esteem issues that will eventually cheat. Here's how it goes - they don't have a good self image, so when you come along and compliment them it makes them feel good. Like they're ... (read in full...)
Can I trust a woman who had an affair with her best friend's husband?
Q. Can i trust a woman who has had a 3 year affair with her best friends husband? My previous post explained that my GF was off to Mexico with friends for Xmas. My concerns were that on the night before her departure she called me by another guy's na...
A. 7 January 2011: In a word - no. My experience tells me that cheaters cannot be trusted. In this case there are additional red flags, those being that the guy was married, and married to her best friend no less. Avoid!... (read in full...)
Age difference....just numbers??
Q. Do you guys think age is just a numbering am extremely attracted to a 38 year old and I am 24...
A. 7 January 2011: I'm 34 and have dated women as young as 22 in the past few months, and the gap was not a problem. As long as you both are on the same page in terms of what type of relationship you're seeking then it won't be a barrier. So I say go for it!... (read in full...)
Can a one night stand turn possibly turn into a relationship?
Q. Hello Can you ever get together with someone after a one night stand or have you completely blown it?? Any opinions?? Anyone ever got with anyone after this?? ...
A. 5 January 2011: I agree with eyeswideopen. A one night stand can turn into an ongoing casual or FWB relationship, but it is unlikely to turn into anything enduring and serious. It is not a good way to start a "real" relationship.... (read in full...)
What is the 'norm' for hair down below?
Q. I don't suppose this is relationship per se but it's just something I've been pondering and can't answer it myself! Well I have been seeing this guy for a while now and we've been making out and stuff but things are starting to get a bit more h...
A. 5 January 2011: In my area at least, with girls in their early 20's the norm is either completely shaven, or mostly shaven with some remaining hair up above which is typically trimmed. Leaving it in a natural, completely untrimmed state would definitely be against ... (read in full...)
How should I go about asking her on a date?
Q. well theres this girl that i graduated with a few years ago and i saw her at a restaurant the other night along with my friend who happened to be her friend as well, so we talked a lil bit and im pretty attracted to her but we dont know each other ...
A. 5 January 2011: Yes, you should start by talking to your mutual friend. Maybe see if your friend knows if she'll be somewhere you could happen to run into her, or if you could get her phone number so you can ask her out.... (read in full...)
He is a lot younger than me ... I am stupid!
Q. Hello I have a problem and I feel so stupid! I am 27 years old and have slept with a 19 year old! He was asking me for my number etc I kept telling him I was too old for him,(even though I was extremely attracted to him and he acts a lot older) h...
A. 4 January 2011: This is quite similar to the situation I was in with my ex-wife. She was 26 and I was 21 when we first met. My experience says that you can enjoy this relationship and have some fun for a while, but it is unlikely to last in the long run. An older ... (read in full...)
This girl keeps coming to me, then going back to the ex, again and again, why?
Q. I need help LADIES please answer this one, as you're the only ones that can... So I've been dating this girl, who is conflicted about her ex, but since I was so persistent, I guess she gave me a chance perhaps as a payback to her ex. My question is ...
A. 4 January 2011: I have to agree with Jmtmj. She's using you when it is convenient for her, nothing more. You are her doormat. Time to cut her loose and look for someone who has it together.... (read in full...)
What do guys want a girl's vagina to look like?
Q. Do guys like the Inner lips of a girls vagina to be long or small and is it normal for mine to be around 2 inches when i stretch them out?...
A. 4 January 2011: Dance is correct. Guys want access, the specifics of what it looks like are irrelevant.... (read in full...)
Why do men play games... how long should I wait for a call or should I call him?
Q. Just wondering from a man's perpective... how long should a girl wait for a guy to call? I met this guy on Facebook and we have a lot of mutual friends.. actually, he went to my high school, so I'm sure we'd have tons in common. Anyway, we kept ...
A. 4 January 2011: I would give it a couple more days and then text or email him. If he's interested you'll still be on his mind and he'll respond to you, assuming he doesn't contact you before then. If a girl comes across as very eager, I'll play it cool even if I'm ... (read in full...)
Is she not interested or could there be a reason why she has not responded?
Q. So here goes, I met this girl and we talked on the phone last night. We talked for about 30 min and I thought everything went really well. Out of the blue she was like " I have to take this call, can I call you back." Of course I said yes. She said ...
A. 4 January 2011: That's a lot of contact attempts with a girl you just met. I would not send any more texts or make any more calls until you hear from her. The ball is in her court, she said she'd call back. If you don't hear from her then you know.... (read in full...)
Do you think a man who gets defensive is guilty?
Q. Do you think a man who gets defensive is guilty? I have been seeing this guy for 8 weeks at first we saw one another 3 -4 times a week suddenly after xmas we slowed down. He seems to be busy or had a quiet weekend. I am not buying it. Something ...
A. 4 January 2011: Well, lying about his age is pretty conclusive evidence that he's not trustworthy. Your suspicion that he's found another woman very well could be correct. I recommend cutting him off and moving on.... (read in full...)
The dating scene seems to have changed since I was last in it
Q. I'm trying to understand something since it looks like it may cause me a lot of pain in the future. I am now separated from my wife. It was a long term marriage (over 25 years) but with a lot of trials. In my state you have to be separated for...
A. 4 January 2011: The women of today seek varying types of relationships. Some have a mindset that they're ready to settle down or they like stability in their relationships, and that's the type that will want to move in right away more often than not. Others are in ... (read in full...)
She doesn't respect herself enough for me to be with her, but I still love her.
Q. Dear Cupid, My girlfriend and I had been together for one year, and broke up recently. For both us, this was our first relationship, and got serious pretty quickly. We were talking about moving in together, discussing our future together, etc. ...
A. 3 January 2011: It isn't an easy journey (I know from experience), but you've arrived at the right conclusion. That girl is nothing but trouble.
All the best!... (read in full...)
I love her but don't want to be one of her sex slaves
Q. Hi everyone, In short I know a girl who I care for and think I love, the problem is she is beautiful and younger and does not want to settle for any one man. She has a string of open relationships where she is sexually intimate with a few people. ...
A. 3 January 2011: If you get any more involved than you already are the pain will only intensify. I emphatically advise you to focus on other women and ignore this one. You sound like someone with a solid set of values, while this girl is not. That's a basic ... (read in full...)
She doesn't respect herself enough for me to be with her, but I still love her.
Q. Dear Cupid, My girlfriend and I had been together for one year, and broke up recently. For both us, this was our first relationship, and got serious pretty quickly. We were talking about moving in together, discussing our future together, etc. ...
A. 28 December 2010: It's tough as a good guy, as I'm one myself, but this is a life lesson that she needs to learn for herself. She's going to go through the usual stages - sleep around because it makes her feel good temporarily, then eventually she'll start to realize ... (read in full...)
I've become attached, but he's married!
Q. Hello all, I need your help and I have to admit being so much confused. Since a year or more, I am talking to a guy on net. He is decent and kind, educated and has a good job in another country, where he lives with his wife and 2 babies. We star...
A. 28 December 2010: Break contact with him. He's married, and you know it isn't right to pursue anything. In my opinion, things have already gone too far as it sounds like the two of you are in an emotional affair. This is an unhealthy situation for both you and him.... (read in full...)
Is their an avenue for my liking Muscular and Strong women?
Q. I consider myself to be a normal and straight guy. However, I find myself attracted to women with a muscular build, who are also strong athletically. Now, don't get me wrong, I said muscular not masculine because women in bodybuilding who abus...
A. 28 December 2010: I tend to prefer athletic women myself because they are active and fit. However, if they have a muscular upper body that's where I draw the line. Take your example of Amy Schmid, she's too muscular for my taste. I don't mind a woman with muscular ... (read in full...)
Do I let him go for it?
Q. My BoyFriend And I Were At The Movies And I Grabed His **** And Well He Wad Already Hard And We Put Our Jackets Over Our Selfs So No One Can See And He Took His**** Outt Amd I Stared To Kinda Jack Him Off3(; And Then He Wanted To Finger Mee But I ...
A. 28 December 2010: If you feel you're ready, then yes let him go for it. However, I really suggest doing this in private. A movie theater is not exactly and ideal location for this kind of activity.... (read in full...)
I make the effort. He doesn't. Why does he do this to me?
Q. Hi! I've been talking to a guy for about two months now. I'm really into him, and it seems like the attraction is mutual. I think we really click. In the begginng he kept on asking me if I was talking to anyone else, and I reassured him that I wasn...
A. 28 December 2010: It sounds to me like he is either immature, or he's being hypocritical and playing games with you when he said he wouldn't tolerate that. Janety gave great advice, I also suggest going that route.... (read in full...)
Both of these guys want to marry me!
Q. Hi, I am in a serious problem in my relationships. I am in love with two guys that both love me and want to marry me, I really did not want to go out with these 2 guys at the same time but I really dont know what happened and now i am in real dee...
A. 28 December 2010: This sounds like a hot mess. You're cheating on both of these guys, assuming they don't know about each other. The way I see it is you must choose one or you will eventually lose both... and you may end up losing both anyway if the truth ever comes ... (read in full...)
Being the third person in a relationship.
Q. I'm in love with a girl, the first time in my life of 21 years. She's wonderful, but also taken. When we started chatting a lot she had a really bad relationship with her BF. By the time we first slept with each other she was thinking of finishin...
A. 28 December 2010: I would break it off with her. I personally would not be able to trust her in the future since she's basically cheating on her boyfriend with you. Who is to say she wouldn't do the same thing to you if the two of you hit a rough patch (and all ... (read in full...)
Do women's sex drives fall off in their mid 30s?
Q. The conventional wisdom seems to be that a woman's sex drive peaks in her early 30s. Is this consistent with people's actual experiences? I've had an on/off relationship with my girfriend (35 years old) for about 8 years (we were "off" for about ...
A. 28 December 2010: One possibility is that she was a sex addict and that she's finally dealing with the addiction, thus the much lower interest / drive. The pattern of behavior where someone has many brief relationships, typically overlapping one another but not ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to get married again. Is this a deal breaker?
Q. my boyfriend is going through a divorce and experienced a bad relationship. He feels as if the marriage ruined it. He told me he cannot see himself ever marrying again. Ever since I was a little girl i have always wanted to be happily married. ...
A. 27 December 2010: I have to disagree with Odds. Marriage rates are indeed declining, but I think that has more to do with the declining childbirth rate than anything else. If I didn't want to have more children then I wouldn't want to get married again.
My advice t... (read in full...)
She doesn't respect herself enough for me to be with her, but I still love her.
Q. Dear Cupid, My girlfriend and I had been together for one year, and broke up recently. For both us, this was our first relationship, and got serious pretty quickly. We were talking about moving in together, discussing our future together, etc. ...
A. 27 December 2010: You don't have to give specific reasons, just tell her that you have come to realize that there is no future between the two of you. You're incompatible people. That it is her low self esteem and her questionable / risky sexual behavior need not be ... (read in full...)
Why would she stay with him after he cheated on her?
Q. Hello All! My question is "Why does a girl stay with a guy after she finds out that he was cheating on her?" I dated this guy for a few months and then found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. I told the girlfriend and she still is with him...
A. 27 December 2010: Sometimes people have really low self esteem. They feel that if they leave the one they're with that they will not be able to find someone better, or worse yet that they'll end up alone and miserable.
For a few years I was that person. I knew my ... (read in full...)
Love and bills.
Q. Hello, I'm in a relationship with a man who loves me and knows about my past. However, I have big financial woes (he knows about that too). I've almost 30 thousand dollars of debt in credit cards and personal loans. I'm embarrassed by i...
A. 27 December 2010: The person you really need to talk to is a bankruptcy attorney. Please, call one up. The initial consultation is free, and an expert is the only one who can advise you of what to do. Best of luck!... (read in full...)
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