Is it normal for sexual orientation to shift over time?
Q. Is it normal for your sexual orientation to change over time? When I was around 15-17, I identified as bi, then for a couple years something changed (no reason, it just did) and I was pretty much exclusively into guys, and now (when I'm 19) I'm ...
A. 12 April 2012: To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure how normal this is. I'm straight and have been ever since I first started noticing girls as a preteen boy.
However, it is true that as we get older and mature our perspectives change, and what we desire i... (read in full...)
I like her but overheard her talking about a date she just had. Where do I go now?
Q. Hi, a new girl started at work recently and we seem to get on well. She seems quite shy so i've been chatting to her when I can and just trying to get to know her a bit. A group of us from work are going out this weekend so I was looking forward to ...
A. 12 April 2012: Office relationships are definitely a bad idea, generally speaking. The potential for creating drama, awkward situations and hard feelings is a risk that needs to be carefully considered. So before you decide this is something you really want to ... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 12 April 2012: If I'm in a relationship and getting regular sex, which means basically daily since I have a high sex drive, then I do not look at porn. I'd much prefer to enjoy intimacy with my partner over masturbation. The exceptions would be if my mate is gone ... (read in full...)
I really want a tattoo of my deceased ex boyfriend's name but my friends think its a bad idea
Q. Okay, basically my ex boyfriend died in december, we had been broken up a couple months before he died but he was my first true love and never got over it and when he died it just tore me up even more. I feel like I've lost apart of me. I really ...
A. 11 April 2012: You're a young, single woman... so please think about this for a very, very long time before you actually go and do it. I can tell you that many men will be turned off by the idea and it is likely something you'll regret later in life. If you go and ... (read in full...)
Do girls shave their pubes when they have sex?
Q. I'm a virgin still at the age of 19, I've had plenty of flings but I'm waiting for that right guy to lose it to, and I reckon it will be soon. One thing - do girls shave their pubes when they have sex? I know this sounds ridiculous but i...
A. 11 April 2012: Shaved is by far the most common way younger women keep their private area these days. Upwards of 90% of the women I've been with who are under 30 shave. So if you're with a guy who has experience, that's probably what he'll be expecting just ... (read in full...)
I love wearing briefs, am I the only one who does this?
Q. Hey all. Am nearly 15 and am gay. I love wearing briefs. But if anyone found out i wear them they would take the mick. So i wear boxers over them. What i want to know is am i the only one who does this or used to do this. Cheers. Xx =)...
A. 11 April 2012: You're not the only one. Briefs are "out" right now, the trend these days is boxers, but some men do prefer the supportive feeling briefs provide. The reason I choose to wear boxers though has nothing to do with being fashionable and everything to ... (read in full...)
Virgin, left husband, now dating but not sure how men will react to my virginity
Q. This is a unique situation I am in. Married for 10 years. Never consummated my marriage with my husband. I am still a virgin. We are now separated and heading for divorce. This was not the primary reason for us splitting. There were other issues ...
A. 11 April 2012: In contrast to what person12345 said, I believe it is generally younger and/or inexperienced men who suffer from retrograde jealousy. That's they type of guy who will be thrilled by a woman with little or no sexual history. More experienced and ... (read in full...)
Why do older men date younger women and Visa Versa?
Q. It's just i noticed a lot lately that women in their 20's seem to be going for men in there 40's even 50's . Some with even a 25 to 30 year age difference my friend is actually 24 and dating a 49 year old. It puzzles me because sometimes the men are ...
A. 11 April 2012: I'm 35 and I only date women that are younger than myself. I limit the gap to about 10 years, though, and my ideal mate is in her late 20's. Just a couple weeks ago I broke up with my 25 year old girlfriend. The relationship lasted about four ... (read in full...)
Men & Women: How long have you gone without sex?
Q. How long have you gone without sex with another person? ...
A. 9 April 2012: Since the age of 21, the longest I've gone without sex is 3 or 4 months. I guess I'm the serial relationship type, as I don't do one night stands or casual sex. If I did, the largest gap between partners would be smaller.... (read in full...)
Ladies: shaved or natural 'downstairs' on a guy?
Q. Ladies thoughts opinions needed: When you are about to have sex/or oral with a guy for the first time and see his thing, is hair down there a turn off? is shaved more a turn on? or trimmed? also what about hairy thighs? shaved? leave alone? I am...
A. 5 April 2012: I'm 35, but the majority of women I date are younger - mid to late 20's. I've found that many women today prefer a guy to be shaved, so that's what I do. I've been shaving for months and not only do I not have any issues with it such as itching, but ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks of me as a breeding factory, if I can't have kids, he'd leave me!
Q. I've been in a relationship for about 2.5 years with someone who is wonderful, caring, supportive, etc. We have been through a lot, and I sincerely saw him as the one. He already considered us married but it doesn't work that way for me. ...
A. 30 March 2012: I have to say that the desire to have children is perfectly normal, and that typically couples cover that ground pretty early on in the relationship. Did you have that conversation before, but just not take it to this level? Your boyfriend appears ... (read in full...)
Should I go on holiday without him?
Q. hi i have a bit of a problem. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are both 26 the thing is we planned to go abroad this summer for a week. But i would also like to go abroad with my girlfriend later on this year for 1 week. He thinks...
A. 30 March 2012: Thanks for the follow-up, OP!
I can still see this both ways. One the one hand, when people get into a serious relationship it has an impact on their lives. Things that you used to do, whether it is clubbing with the girls on Saturday night, o... (read in full...)
My husband can't keep hard. Is he cheating?
Q. my husband for the past 2 days hasnt been able to get his penis up, but sitting on the couch yesterday looking at me, rubbing up behind while cooking , and in tje shower he did get it up.... but when time to preform his penis wouldnt do ANYTHING, so ...
A. 29 March 2012: It's probably nothing. Stress or any number of other factors, such as being preoccupied with something, can cause a man to either not be able to get an erection, or to quickly lose it. If it's something along these lines the problem will resolve ... (read in full...)
Why did my married collegue keep taking off his wedding ring at lunch?
Q. Hi ! I just had a business lunch with a male colleague. During the entire time, he kept taking his wedding band on and off and twisting it too. It was not very subtle and a little distracting. What does this mean?...
A. 29 March 2012: My dad is very fidgety and he's taking his wedding ring off all the time. He also frequently spins it, like a top.
I think you're trying to read too much into this. It is most likely nothing.... (read in full...)
Should I go on holiday without him?
Q. hi i have a bit of a problem. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are both 26 the thing is we planned to go abroad this summer for a week. But i would also like to go abroad with my girlfriend later on this year for 1 week. He thinks...
A. 29 March 2012: There's a lot to consider here. Is your friend in a relationship or is she single? For that matter, what kind of character does she have? Is she trustworthy and a good girl, or is she the wild party girl type who sends nudes to random guys? Where ... (read in full...)
How do you tell your boyfriend you can't see him as being the father of your children?
Q. How do you tell your boyfriend that you don't see him ever being the father you'd want your child or children to have and that's the real reason you don't want children? And where do you go from there? Stay but remain childless or have children bu...
A. 29 March 2012: It sounds to me, unfortunately, that you have enough reason to break up with your boyfriend. You're conflicted which I totally understand, but it sounds like you are open to the idea of having children, but just not with this guy. I feel that as you ... (read in full...)
How do I make hubby last longer?
Q. I have been married for 3 months now and my husband and i have sex with a condom because we are still going to school and dont want to have kids at the moment we have sex 3 times a week but each time with foreplay our sex is about 15 mins long, he ...
A. 29 March 2012: One thing I was going to suggest is to use a condom, since that generally causes men to last longer than without one. That happens because of the loss of sensation. However, I see that you and your husband already use condoms. The only other thing... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to view porn together?
Q. Hey, I need some perspectives (esp. from guys) on whether guys viewing porn with their guy buddies is a normal thing or not! My bf is open about the fact he occasionally looks at porn sites, and I know he has downloaded videos in the past. He once ...
A. 29 March 2012: There are a couple of situations I have watched porn with my buddies in the past. When I was single, young and went out clubbing all of the time, buddies and I would get together to drink beforehand. In hindsight getting drunk before going out... (read in full...)
Would you go back to an ex who cheated on you with your friends?
Q. This question is for the guys out there. Why would you leave someone who treated you right for an ex who has slept with all of your friends and cheated on you? Is it possible that this cheater will change?...
A. 13 March 2012: OP, I have to agree with you completely. This guy is being a fool to go back with his cheating ex. I have an ex that cheated on me and I gave her a second chance. Know what happened? She kept on cheating! When I found out the second time I filed for ... (read in full...)
Can you forgive a person after destroying your trust and crushing your heart?
Q. so my gf had been acting weirdly for months and i found out she had an affair with a man howeever she only saw him 3 times and only had sex once. she was on medications and depressed with an eating disorder and huge self esteem issues and at the ...
A. 10 February 2012: I'm sorry to say this, but my experience is that no - once trust has been broken and your heart has been crushed things will never be the same. My ex-wife cheated on me, I caught her, and for 3+ years I tried to "work through it" with her. I was ... (read in full...)
Do men find thinning hair in women a turn off?
Q. Ok, this question is more for the guys I guess. Is a woman with thinning hair/bald completely unattractive and undesirable? I have always had thin hair, it's genetic, both parents have thin hair, with some thinning, and my grandpa was bald, my ...
A. 10 February 2012: My girlfriend is only 25 and she has really thin hair, too. I think she's always had thin hair which is part of the problem. She also lost a lot of hair because of stress. She went through a divorce and is a single mom with 2 little ones, and her ... (read in full...)
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1=not important and 10=most important, how important should sexual attraction be in a relationship?
Q. OK Aunts, here is something that has been troubling me. How important should sexual attraction be in a relationship? The reason I ask is because sometimes I think sex and sexual attraction is a distraction and sort of leads us down the wrong ...
A. 8 February 2012: I personally feel that having a fulfilling sexual life is a critical component to a happy and lasting relationship. Just look at how many people come here and ask for advice because their girlfriend / boyfriend / wife / husband seemingly isn't as ... (read in full...)
Am I moving too fast?
Q. My boyfriend of only 3 months emigrated to Australia on a working holiday visa today. Before I had even met him I'd planned on going myself with a group of friends in September. Now Im thinking that I hate being away from him and I'll go over ...
A. 20 January 2012: I don't think that's too fast. I feel that 3 months is enough time to get a good read on someone, especially if you're seeing them practically every day. So if it were me and I had the chance to go for a visit, I definitely would!
Best of luck!... (read in full...)
I saw him kissing another girl before he kissed me
Q. Really could do with advice, so please be honest guys and tell me what you really think of the situation. I've tried to put it as short as I can, so it doesn't sound like an essay of a story.. This guy I met in a bar just over two weeks ago, we've...
A. 20 January 2012: He's a player. I would listen to your friends and ignore this guy. If he were a genuine guy he wouldn't have kissed another girl when he knew you were coming up to see him, and he would have spent some real time with you instead of blown you off. ... (read in full...)
Online fling caused my guy to walk out of a 3 year relationship?
Q. Is a stupid online fling what i had a good reason for my guy of 3 years to walk out on me and our 2 kids? I never even went meeting the guy. The worst i did was a bit of naughty chat. Would you agony aunts think he was looking for an excuse to bail ...
A. 19 January 2012: Absolutely, that's more than enough reason to leave. My ex-wife cheated on me, and I spent years in a miserable marriage trying to work it out. The lesson I learned through it all is that once trust is broken the relationship is difficult, if not ... (read in full...)
Doggy style caused a tear. Will it heal on its own?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend around 2 months and was a virgin before I met him. We have a pretty decent sex life and are very happy together. Today, however, we attempted to do doggy-style, which I, obviously, have never done before. It was very ...
A. 19 January 2012: A tear like that will heal naturally on its own. Just be very careful when you wipe, as there's a risk of infection. Otherwise there's nothing to worry about. Small tears like that are not uncommon, and can be prevented by using some lube.
Best ... (read in full...)
Dating for a year and b/f will not touch me! He says I am putting pressure on him
Q. I got myself into a pickle. I think I'm in love with this man I've been dating for a year. I'm 24 and he's 37. In this time we have only fooled around but never had sex. I will pleasure him but he has never touched me down there. He will ...
A. 18 January 2012: This guy is 37 and still hasn't had sex with you after a year, but he allows you to pleasure him? This situation is highly unusual. You're 24 and in your prime, and as you said you have needs. Honestly, I'm shocked you have allowed this to go on so ... (read in full...)
How often does "no contact" work on the heart?
Q. We were together 15 months. We practically lived together for six months. We were good together, really understood each other, but our timing was off (he's younger and not sure of what he wants in life). I broke up with him because of his ...
A. 18 January 2012: OP, a lot of the issues you have with this guy are due to his age. It is perfectly normal for a male in his early to mid 20's to want to "play the field" and not commit to a single woman. Now, there are guys that age who will commit. Sometimes they ... (read in full...)
Guys, is it a deal breaker for you if your girlfriend hates blow jobs?
Q. I tried giving blow jobs, it hurts, my jaws got irritated , i felt used (i knew i`m not gonna like them) and i felt bad about myself, i love sex though. so is it a deal breaker if a woman refuses to give it to her boyfriend? i never asked any men ...
A. 18 January 2012: For me, this is definitely not a deal breaker. I like the occasional, brief blow job as part of foreplay but I honestly don't enjoy them enough to either request them with any regularity, or expect my girlfriend to give me one until I cum. As long ... (read in full...)
Is he too old for me?
Q. I am 20 and recently started dating 31 year old man. We get on well, but is 11 years too big an age gap for a relationship to work in the long run? ...
A. 17 January 2012: OP, the age gap is likely more of an issue now than it will be in the future. I have a similar gap with my girlfriend, she is 25 and I'm 35, and there aren't any problems at all. So if the two of you get on well, have chemistry and are mutually ... (read in full...)
Will men still want me when I have a child or am I damaged goods?
Q. My question is I'm 26 year old college student, I am so far working on my AA degree. I have a 4 year old child, will men still want someone like me or am I just damaged goods. ...
A. 13 January 2012: OK, there are definitely shallow guys out there who will not date a woman with a child. There's no denying that.
However, there are PLENTY of good guys out there who will gladly accept you for who you are, child included. My girlfriend has two ... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm with condom!
Q. So here's the prob, I can't cum whilst wearing a condom...I recently had sex with a condom for the first time (2 nights in a row and didn't cum on either) , I've had sex without before and had no problem with ejaculation. Is there anybody that has...
A. 11 January 2012: As someone who was married for 10 years and then rejoined the dating pool, I can totally empathize with you. In fact, I was so used to sex without condoms that when I first started using them again, I would go limp right after putting it on. It was ... (read in full...)
Did I freak her out with my last text?
Q. Hi, I met a girl last week at my friends party. She danced with me for over an hour we kissed quite a bit and she really showed interest staring into my eyes holding me all that stuff. She asked if I wanted to exchange numbers with her and we did. I ...
A. 22 December 2011: Yea, unfortunately it looks like she might have moved on from you. She definitely backed away for whatever reason. It might be that she just wants to slow things down a bit, or it could be something else. There's just no way to tell.
My advice i... (read in full...)
Why do some men have relationships when they are younger, but only feel like being single or having flings as they age?
Q. Does anyone know why some men have relationships when they are younger, but only feel like being single or having flings, etc, when they are older ?. Is it because they have been on their own for a long time, and they get set in their ways ?. I've...
A. 22 December 2011: The anonymous guy who said "It`s that the older a guy gets the more he`s experienced and has seen. He will be far better at spotting insincerity and less easily blinded." is 100% correct! When I was younger, I would get into relationships ev... (read in full...)
When you reach a certain age and want kids would you "settle" for a reasonable partner but it lacks that certain 'spark'?
Q. A question for the ladies out there. When you reach a certain age and want kids do or would you "settle" for a reasonable partner that potentially would be a good father/provider but doesn't provide the excitement or spark or where there isn't quite ...
A. 22 December 2011: I realize you directed your question at the ladies, but I felt I have something to contribute on this one. As a 35 year old man who found himself back in the dating world a couple years ago, I believe that yes - there are definitely women out there ... (read in full...)
I'm married and now my lover is also married I'm struggling to accept she is physical with another man....I don't want to share her!
Q. I am married and had a relationship with collegaue in office. We got along for couple of years well including physically and now she got married to a guy. She says she wants to continue being physical with me but I am finding it hard to accept now ...
A. 15 November 2011: This is very simple - you are married, and she is married. The solution here is to end the physical relationship between the two of you. If you continue on with her, you will ruin both of your marriages when the affair is discovered.
Also,... (read in full...)
The longer I know him the less that I understand him!
Q. After almost two years, I met the family of the man I'm seeing-but it was nothing formal. I'm not sure if this means anything, but he has kept me under wraps before now. It's so hard to understand him sometimes. He's a nice man but I can never ...
A. 15 November 2011: Based on his age and your age, he may have kept you a secret from his family because he was worried about what his family would say about him dating someone so young. The age gap between you is not insurmountable, but it is not a trivial thing ... (read in full...)
Did I freak her out with my last text?
Q. Hi, I met a girl last week at my friends party. She danced with me for over an hour we kissed quite a bit and she really showed interest staring into my eyes holding me all that stuff. She asked if I wanted to exchange numbers with her and we did. I ...
A. 12 November 2011: I'm going to echo the other advice given. This was one text, so I wouldn't read too much into it. Perhaps she just doesn't know how to reply to it, so it resulted in a "dead end" to the conversation. I feel your best bet is to call her and ask her ... (read in full...)
Finding it very hard to feel content with my boyfriend and our life at present
Q. Dear Cupid, How can I find peace and be content? I love my boyfriend very much, and he is a great boyfriend. He is kind, joyous, generous, thoughtful, and considerate. He is respectful and has a wonderful sense of humor. I know he is faithful. He ...
A. 3 November 2011: I can really relate to this question. I'm 35, was in a terrible marriage, and am presently dating a 28 year old woman who has never cohabited with anyone or been in a very serious relationship. She has had a couple of long term boyfriends, but that ... (read in full...)
I can not handle any more "groupies." Is it him? Or am I a psycho?
Q. I am in a relationship that makes me feel super insecure. I was never ever insecure like this in my life. I was never a jealous person either. Even when I was younger. I am not sure if it is me or my partner. Woman are going after him as crazy. When ...
A. 3 November 2011: To give you a guy's perspective, I'm afraid that's just how this man probably is. I am not this way myself, but I have friends who are. It sounds like your boyfriend is very flirty by nature, and that he also likes the attention of a lot of women ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a bruise on that part of your body without it leaving a mark?
Q. I have a question about a mysterious bruise incident. Fact: She told me had a bruise and it hurt like heck and she got it by bumping into the sharp corner of her dresser in the dark, on her chest. Fact: The next day she showed me where the brui...
A. 3 November 2011: I'm also wondering why this bruise makes you suspicious. Are there other things, as well? This on it's own is really nothing to be concerned with in my opinion. However, I suspect that you've noticed other things which make you think your ... (read in full...)
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