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How many months should pass after a serious relationship ended before a new relationship is not consider a rebound?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So almost everybody tends to have a rebound relationship after a serious relationship ends...my question is, how many months should pass after a serious relationship(Like 1-2 yrs relationship)ended before a new relationship is not consider a rebound

P.S I'm not in a rebound relationship or anything, i'm just simply curius

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011):

I don't think there's a specific amount of time. I mean, it's pretty subjective. Others can be quick to label any new relationship formed after a serious one has ended a rebound unless a considerable amount of time (6 months to a year, maybe?) has passed first. It shouldn't really matter to anyone but the two people getting together though. After all, only they can know what's really going on between them - never mind what anybody else thinks :) I hope this helped x

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (27 July 2011):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWhen you ask a question anonymously and add that you are "just curious". People don't tend to take it seriously. I'll answer the question seriously anyway.

There is an old tradition that you should wait a year. The real answer is much more complicated than that. It is not a set time and it varies by person, and each case is different. You have to grieve for the lost relationship. Some times you can go through all the steps of grieving quite quickly. Other times a person will carry the grief for life. A person can know when they are ready by how they feel about the ex. If they still hold hopes for a return then they haven't finished the acceptance phase of grieving. If they still feel a hole in their life where the ex was, then they are still in the sorrow phase. To not be a rebound relationship you need to be a whole person alone, then you can deal with the new person on an equal basis, no holding back.

I hope that helps you understand this. You should probably study a bit more about grief and grieving.

FA

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (27 July 2011):

For me, it takes about six months from the time a LTR ends until I feel centered and back to my normal self. If I start another relationship during that time the odds are it will turn out to be a rebound and just won't last. If I jump in before I'm ready, I'll end up settling just to feel wanted, or I'll consciously ignore something that I know is really a deal-breaker, or I'll start things off on the wrong foot thereby ending any real LTR potential in the new relationship.

I think everyone has their own pace for healing, though. The time also varies based on how emotionally invested someone was in the relationship that ended. I tend to get attached slowly, and I also feel I take more time to get over a relationship than others.

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