A
female
age
36-40,
*oveisreal317
writes:So there is this guy who I've known for a few years now. He works at the coffee shop I go to almost everyday (hey I like the tea). When I sit outside at the outdoor deck area he usually takes his break and sits and talks with me. We became friends over facebook after some time and just recently he gave me his number. I can tell you now that we flirt a lot...I mean A LOT! But I know he's not interested in having a girlfriend nor I a boyfriend. I just wanna be friends with the guy, but he has it in his head that I want more and I have NO IDEA how to tell him that, that's not the case. We had a serious conversation about it and I flat out told him I wasn't looking for a seriously relationship and he said the same. What in the world do I do, because I still wanna do fun stuff that friends would do. I just don't know how to relay that message to him any clearer.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (19 August 2011):
From a guy's perspective, here's what I'm reading - you told him you don't want a serious relationship and you flirt with him a lot. That's sending the message that you're open to a casual relationship, like a FWB situation. If you want to convey "hey, I just want to be your friend" then you need to cut out the flirting. That's where he's getting the idea you want more from.
Remember, just because a guy isn't interested in having a girlfriend doesn't mean he isn't interested in having sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011): I don't think you need to do anything since you already told him. He gave you his number, but it doesn't mean you have to use it.
You might cut back on the flirting though. If you're not interested in him, I suppose that could be sending a mixed message to him.
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