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*oublejack

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< Prev1234567891011Next > [11 pages, 420 answers]

Men: When you have sex, how often are you thinking of someone that you're not with?

Q.   These questions are mostly for men but women can feel free to answer as well: 1. When you have sex with your gf or wife, how often do you picture another woman in your head while doing it? 2. Who are they? (friends, women you saw on the s...

A.   22 August 2012: 1. This has only ever happened to me when I'm not that attracted to the person I'm with. I don't get into relationships that start out that way, but I've had a couple of ex's put on considerable weight to the point that I was no longer turned on by ... (read in full...)

Should I continue this and hope for the best?

Q.   Our brief history is this, we met as lovers, intense poetic, passionate lovers. Eventually we both left our marriages, became supportive friends and lovers discussing love, loss, family, dreams, goals. We keep in constant communication, telephone ...

A.   21 August 2012: I'm very sorry OP, but it is quite clear that this man does not return your feelings. You're in love, he is not. He has moved you to the friend zone, and he is now pursuing other women. I also suggest you break off all contact with him. If you r... (read in full...)

Do I walk away now?

Q.   Hello, I am a 33 year old woman. I met a man thru a mutual friend about 2 months ago and we have been dating very frequently. The only problem is, he is an ex heroine addict that is living in a halfway house for another month. He went thru reh...

A.   21 August 2012: Don't walk, run away from him! This man is in no position to enter into a relationship with anyone. He needs to focus on himself and get his life in order. You know the list of things he needs to sort out, including a job, a place to stay, a means ... (read in full...)

How do you deal with pubic hair growing back?

Q.   For people who have sex regularly, how do you deal with the growing back of shaved pubic hair? It loses the smoothness after only 1-2 days, so doesn't it get uncomfortable for your partner with the stubble? Shaving the stubble creates hell for me. ...

A.   21 August 2012: I'm a guy who shaves, and I do it every other day. It sucks initially but it gets much easier to shave the stubble after a few weeks.... (read in full...)

Is it possible for a cheater to end up happy with the person he cheated with?

Q.   My boyfriend of six years cheated, and left me for the woman he cheated with. Although I'm past the hurt, sometime I wonder is it possible for a cheater to be happy with the person he cheated with.I wish him and her the best and hope he is a better ...

A.   20 August 2012: It is possible, yes. However, as sammi star mentioned it will probably be something that his new girlfriend thinks about. The odds are pretty high that he will eventually cheat on her, too, unfortunately.... (read in full...)

I am a separated woman trying to date. After you've read it all do you think I should see a therapist?

Q.   Apologies! This situation description isnt as short as I'd hoped it would be. Click back if you dont want to read a long story. I want responses, but if I dont get any because my post is too long, at least I'll have cyber-vented! My husband an...

A.   20 August 2012: Thank you for the followups Addicted2Luv! Well, as someone who went experienced a divorce in 2009 I can relate at least a little bit to what you must be going through. I agree with you that keeping things casual while you sort yourself out is ... (read in full...)

Should I stop birth control?

Q.   I only started because of my boyfriend. We literally just broke up, so I feel like I don't have to anymore. Plus it had awful side effects such as hair loss (yikes!), pain in stomach, moodiness, and headaches. Should I just cut my losses and stop? ...

A.   16 August 2012: If you are on oral birth control and the only reason you were taking it was so you didn't get pregnant by your now ex-boyfriend, then you can go ahead and just stop taking the pills. It is safe to discontinue use of oral birth control pills when ... (read in full...)

What I should I do, this girl keeps contacting my boyfriend?

Q.   My boyfriend is a wrestler and sometimes he has to find rides to the shows that are really far away and recently he got a ride from his friends but apparently the only way he could get a ride is if he stayed the night with the person carpooling who ...

A.   16 August 2012: You have caught your boyfriend in lies, the excuse for staying the night at the other girl's house was incredibly weak so he was likely dishonest about it being innocent, and he is not respecting you or the relationship. When you confront him, he ... (read in full...)

I am a separated woman trying to date. After you've read it all do you think I should see a therapist?

Q.   Apologies! This situation description isnt as short as I'd hoped it would be. Click back if you dont want to read a long story. I want responses, but if I dont get any because my post is too long, at least I'll have cyber-vented! My husband an...

A.   16 August 2012: I will add another vote to the "let this guy go" column. He expressed a lot of interest initially, but has clearly flaked on you. He's either truly got issues to deal with of his own, or something has turned him off and he's not being honest about ... (read in full...)

Curious about causes for divorce. Share your stories?

Q.   I have a bit of a fear of divorce. You always hear how happy a couple is yet they end up divorced years later. I think about this a lot and hear all sorts of reasons for divorce from experts, money differences etc, but I'm really curious about real ...

A.   15 August 2012: I'll share. I am 36 right now and have been divorced for over 3 years. My relationship with my ex started when I was almost 22, and we were married two weeks after my 23rd birthday. So the marriage lasted almost 10 years. There were several ... (read in full...)

I can't orgasm with my boyfriend!

Q.   hi guys. Me and my boyfriend have a great relationship...the problem is he can't make me orgasm. To begin with I thought it would probably sort itself out as we got more used to what each other liked etc, but we've been having sex for about 2 months ...

A.   15 August 2012: First off, don't fake it. That would be a huge mistake. While it would make your boyfriend feel better in the short term, it would just be creating bigger problems that would have to be dealt with later. Plus it is a form of lying. I know some women ... (read in full...)

I feel a little insecure about my boyfriend's past FWB, and could use some advice.

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. Prior to meeting me he had a 'sex-only' relationship with another girl for around 2 weeks. When he met me, this relationship was ended. I was a little insecure about this previous 'fling' and freq...

A.   15 August 2012: Lies undermine trust, so while you say you trust your boyfriend your actions indicate otherwise. You caught him in lies before when you asked about sexual acts, which led to you snooping, and now you have exposed more lies. Your snooping is also not ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants sexual play involving her butt and I can't do it

Q.   My girlfriend is great. I really love her not to mention her intelligence, sense of humor and...amazing looks. The other day we were had some shower sex that turned into regular sex -- recently she's been into 69, so that's what we did. To be ho...

A.   10 August 2012: If she's fresh out of the shower then sanitation shouldn't be an issue. If you're feeling experimental and brave, that would be the time to try it. Maybe it is because I'm older and more experienced, but I would do that on a freshly washed hot ... (read in full...)

Would you give your girl a second chance after she cheated on you?

Q.   hello everyone, i'm confused but reached the end when i'm with dearcupid. Men will you forgive your girl of 4 years, after she cheated for the first with no reason and confess to you. And then tells you how much she loves you, can't live with out ...

A.   10 August 2012: I personally would not give a cheater a second chance, but that is because I have had women cheat on me and then suffered through them doing it again. I now feel that once trust is lost it is time to move on. Everyone has their own view on this, ... (read in full...)

Is it me or is my boyfriend using my past as an excuse to break up with me?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for well over a year now. We attended high school together but didn't really know one another. We have a mutual friend 'Jeff' that I slept with one time almost 20 years ago after we all graduated from high school. I did ...

A.   10 August 2012: "I don't understand why this is relevant to today. None of my other encounters is. Jeff and my BF are not BFFs. Jeff's wife and I are, so why is my sexual past with Jeff any more important than my history with Joe Shmoe?" How is it you aren't ge... (read in full...)

Is it me or is my boyfriend using my past as an excuse to break up with me?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for well over a year now. We attended high school together but didn't really know one another. We have a mutual friend 'Jeff' that I slept with one time almost 20 years ago after we all graduated from high school. I did ...

A.   9 August 2012: OP, consider for a moment that this mutual friend Jeff told his wife that you and he slept together. Now can you see where the perception you were trying to hide something comes from? You answered honestly about it when asked directly, but you ... (read in full...)

Not yet divorced, so would a man ask a separated woman out on a date? what are the pros and cons of this?

Q.   Will a guy ask a woman out who is separated? Or would he remain friends with her and wait until she was divorced? I mean, what if you really, really liked her and had strong feelings for her? She is sure of her decision and makes it clear that her...

A.   9 August 2012: As a man who has been through a divorce, I personally would not ask a woman out in this situation. The reason is that I know first hand what kind of experience the divorce process is, and I do not feel someone going through that is in the right mi... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to just have friends with benefits and not actively pursue finding someone new?

Q.   Need advice, so I've been single for a few months and the only things I like about it are the freedom. I've always been in a relationship mindset so the solo experience has certainly been new. Currently I hook up with 2 male friends of mine. They ...

A.   8 August 2012: "If you are only honest as long as it doesn't cause you problems then you are dishonest." You took one sentence in my response out of context. What my advice was intended to convey is a woman who had multiple FWB's at one time shouldn't advertis... (read in full...)

I had sex with his friend and now he keeps bringing it up

Q.   dear cupid, back in december of 2010, i met this guy at college (we'll call him clinton). we "talked" for about a week and went on two dates before life got in the way and we were not able to even try to be anything really serious. looking...

A.   8 August 2012: I'm sorry, but I do not see the relationship surviving this incident. Like some others have said, Craig was hurt much more than you realize. You cheated on him. That alone is enough for many guys to dump you, but the fact that you cheated on him ... (read in full...)

Is it me or is my boyfriend using my past as an excuse to break up with me?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for well over a year now. We attended high school together but didn't really know one another. We have a mutual friend 'Jeff' that I slept with one time almost 20 years ago after we all graduated from high school. I did ...

A.   8 August 2012: Well OP, I have to say that if I were your boyfriend the history you have with 'Jeff' would be a dealbreaker for me, too. I think sex changes things, and do not believe that going back to platonic friends is possible or a good idea once two people ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to just have friends with benefits and not actively pursue finding someone new?

Q.   Need advice, so I've been single for a few months and the only things I like about it are the freedom. I've always been in a relationship mindset so the solo experience has certainly been new. Currently I hook up with 2 male friends of mine. They ...

A.   7 August 2012: As a couple of the others have said, the important thing is to use protection. You aren't in a relationship with either guy, so telling either one about the other is not required. It is also probably a bad idea, in that it will very likely change ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is ruining my life! How do I get out of this relationship?

Q.   My boyfriend is ruining my life. We have been in a LDR for a couple years now. I work and go to university, he doesn't have a job and hasn't for years. If I bring up that he should get a job/do something with his life then he gets pissed off and ...

A.   6 August 2012: I wish I had some miracle advice to give you, but unfortunately there is no way out other than breaking up with this guy. He sounds rather unstable and in need of counseling, but there's nothing you can do about that. If he follows through with the ... (read in full...)

Do most people view threesomes like this?

Q.   dear cupid, in the past, my guy has hinted around about wanting to have a threesome (with him being the only male involved). coincidentally, this has actually happened three times...hahaa. he did it once last year and twice last month. each time...

A.   2 August 2012: No, that is not how most people view threesomes. Some guys view it that way, a group your guy belongs to. However, it is a clear case of a double standard. If a girl who sleeps with two guys is a slut, then a guy who sleeps with two girls is no ... (read in full...)

Is she cheating still? Is this a salvageable situation?

Q.   My gf of more than a year and I broke up in April, we each had a rebound and did our thing fr a month and a half. The reason for our break up she claimed she felt stuck and felt as if we were married (granted i felt the same way). Upon getting back ...

A.   2 August 2012: I'm sorry, but there is no saving this. Your girlfriend does not value you or the relationship, so she will continue to do whatever she wants behind your back. If she lies and you cannot trust her, which are both clearly the case, then there is no ... (read in full...)

Are women of just two types: girlfriends and the easy ones?

Q.   I have heard a lot of times that men put women into 2 categories on spot: girlfriend/wife material AND just for fun/sex buddy etc. What are your insights on this topic?...

A.   2 August 2012: I think Cerberus makes a valid point, there are more than two categories. However, the categories he lists can be grouped into three sub-types - Girls a guy would not sleep with (friends, relatives, etc), girls a guy will sleep with but he doesn't ... (read in full...)

Could it be he really doesn't want to get married?

Q.   My boyfriend is 41 and has never been married. We have been together for a year. When I ask him if he sees himself getting married in the future his response is "maybe, I'm not sure". I would think that by 41 you would know if you wanted to get ...

A.   31 July 2012: I'm 36 and have several friends that are in your boyfriend's age bracket, and have also never been married. There are two possibilities. One is that your boyfriend is commitment-phobic and really doesn't want to marry, and he is just saying mayb... (read in full...)

Does my boyfriend and neighbour fancy each other?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 10 years and have 2 daughters together, he recently befriended our next door neighbour due to a shared interest in motorbikes, therefore he started spending a lot of time in our back garden with our ...

A.   31 July 2012: I completely disagree with the advice to stop doing anything for your boyfriend abruptly. That is advocating passive-aggressive behavior and will only compound the problem, not resolve anything. OP, here is my view on this. I have learned the hard... (read in full...)

Can you tell someone has had anal sex by looking at their bottom?

Q.   Hey there everyone! So... I was in a 5-yr-relationship with this guy and we used to have a quite a lot of anal sex. I didn't really like it, but he loved it so I tried to make him happy. Since we broke up I decided I'd never do anal just to make ...

A.   31 July 2012: You are fine OP, there is no way to tell that you have done that in the past by looking at your anus. There is telltale inflammation and swelling in some cases, but that is only visible for a few hours or perhaps a few days at most. Best of luck!... (read in full...)

Should I keep the a fantasy or should I take things to the next level?

Q.   I'm obsessed with this woman i met(im in freshman university). We were both MCs(hosts) for a large concert/show, but i did not know her before the show. She was a much more experienced MC(with a university degree and MCed a lot of big shows) than I ...

A.   31 July 2012: She's married. That is an instant no-go. Keep it a fantasy, and nothing more. Best of luck!... (read in full...)

My husband wants me to wait 6 years to have children but I'm all ready at 27

Q.   So my husband and i had a huge argument about having children. He's 23 and I'm 27. We had spoken about it before we got married and i had stated quite clearly that (at 26) I didn't want to wait more than four years as i think having children late ...

A.   30 July 2012: I've been on holiday and just saw the most recent followup and reply. I have to say I disagree with calling the OP's husband selfish. If he is not ready to be a father, then he is not ready. As a fellow man, I find his desire to establish himself in ... (read in full...)

Do many divorce even when they are still in love?

Q.   My husband and I are most likely divorcing, he refuses to work on things and a whole mess of other details I'm leaving out... Basically, I know it is the right thing to do. I know I deserve to be happy. I know that nothing will ever change. ...

A.   20 July 2012: As someone who went through a divorce, I believe this scenario happens all of the time. A so-called "messy" divorce happens when there is a lot of animosity in what was once a harmonious relationship. But not all marriages dissolve that way. In some ... (read in full...)

Guys what size do you like your women?

Q.   I know all men are different but guys what size do you like your women? Im just curious....

A.   20 July 2012: My preference is slim, petite or fit women with an athletic build. I am not a shallow man, but I put a lot of effort into my appearance. I work out regularly, and run & bike as much as I can. So I am very fit and lean at 160 pounds, and I appreciate ... (read in full...)

I want gentle sex!

Q.   My boyfriend likes rough sex. i do enjoy it sometimes but sometimes i want gentle and sweet. im too scared to ask him though. we tried going gentle before. he just gets overwhelmed and starts going fast and hard. i don't mind the speed but the ...

A.   20 July 2012: Shawtyinlove, from your description I believe the reason why it ends "rough", which by your definition is going fast and hard, is so that your boyfriend can have an orgasm. Most men are not going to be stimulated enough by gentle, slow intercourse ... (read in full...)

Unprotected oral sex risky?

Q.   Divorced, and having casual sex for first time in life, use condoms. Realistically, what are the chances of getting a disease from giving a man unprotected oral sex? Not swallowing. I know that HIV is difficult to pass that way. And the two ...

A.   19 July 2012: The risks are lower, but the other posters are correct - there are risks. I am going to be more of a downer than the others, though, and tell you that casual sex is inherently risky. Condoms break and fall off. Accidents happen. One poster asked... (read in full...)

BF says causal comments that HURT, please share your thoughts on these things he's said to me!

Q.   i am dating a very young guy..25..im much older but we have had a really cool connection, trust, closeness, amazing physical relationship. not for a long time, but for this summer. as i have began to fall for him, i have found myself repeatedly ...

A.   19 July 2012: Well OP, I see a few different issues here and unfortunately I think you will continue to feel slighted over and over again while this relationship lasts. 1. He's practically young enough to be your son. Generational differences exist when it ... (read in full...)

I'm into a guy who isn't into me and it's getting me really down. Please help!

Q.   I feel so sad. I am into a guy who isn't into me and it is making me feel so so down. I know it is a waste to even care and at my old age of 38, you think I would know better. I met him a month and a half a go at a music festival he is 3...

A.   18 July 2012: OP, the best advice I can give is to not be the one to initiate contact with this man. Give him space. If he wants to potentially pursue something, he will contact you. If you don't hear from him then you will unfortunately have your answer. Ordin... (read in full...)

I don't want kids and I am worried about being perpetually single because my view limits my options

Q.   Been single now for over three years and have been getting more convinced that I am going to be single for a very long time and finding it hard to shake that feeling. I have a fairly good life compared to many people - own flat, own car, interes...

A.   18 July 2012: OP, you are actually now hitting the age at which women who are your peers and have never had children are beginning to give up on the idea. Fertility drops sharply after 35 and the risk of birth defects and complications rises, so women in this age ... (read in full...)

He had sex with his ex. Do I forgive and forget?

Q.   Ok My ex-boyfriend tryed to breakup with me, he said maybe we should be friends. But then I was saying sorry, so he said forget about everything. So he came over and I started crying, then he said he wouldn't leave me ect. Then we had sex, so then ...

A.   18 July 2012: Thank you for posting the followups! With the new info that the relationship was having a bit of trouble before he slept with the ex, I definitely think the best thing to do is give him space. He needs to clear his head, and honestly it would also ... (read in full...)

My shy boyfriend hasn't kissed me yet but I want some action!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now. The problem i'm having is he is very shy and polite, and hasn't even kissed me yet, but i'm very hormonal and am ready for so much more! I am most definitely NOT going to push him into anything ...

A.   17 July 2012: I will echo the advice to make a move. If this guy is a gentelmen, he could be waiting for you to move in for the first kiss and lead the physical escalation. This is particularly the case if he doesn't have a lot of experience. I suggest the next... (read in full...)

My husband wants me to wait 6 years to have children but I'm all ready at 27

Q.   So my husband and i had a huge argument about having children. He's 23 and I'm 27. We had spoken about it before we got married and i had stated quite clearly that (at 26) I didn't want to wait more than four years as i think having children late ...

A.   17 July 2012: "I think the problem comes from the fact his brother has so many children and had them a such a young age he just sees kids as something that ruins your life and takes your freedom." I was honestly thinking this could be a factor, too. I have seen... (read in full...)

We have feelings for each other but my sister likes him!

Q.   Recently I've been spending a lot of time with a guy I've been good friends with for years. I was actually dating a close find of his a few years back. I have had a little crush on him for a few weeks now and spent all week with him this past week(i ...

A.   17 July 2012: This sounds like things could get really messy really quickly. Your ex is this guy's close friend, the two of you have feelings, and your sister also has feelings for him? Personally, this is not a relationship I would pursue. Too many close ties.... (read in full...)

He had sex with his ex. Do I forgive and forget?

Q.   Ok My ex-boyfriend tryed to breakup with me, he said maybe we should be friends. But then I was saying sorry, so he said forget about everything. So he came over and I started crying, then he said he wouldn't leave me ect. Then we had sex, so then ...

A.   17 July 2012: It sounds to me like this guy did try to be somewhat honorable with you. He felt guilty about reconnecting with his ex, so he tried to breakup with you. So I don't think he's trying to keep you as his gf and see her as side action. For whatever ... (read in full...)

My husband wants me to wait 6 years to have children but I'm all ready at 27

Q.   So my husband and i had a huge argument about having children. He's 23 and I'm 27. We had spoken about it before we got married and i had stated quite clearly that (at 26) I didn't want to wait more than four years as i think having children late ...

A.   13 July 2012: I agree with the advice given by kc 100%. This is, unfortunately, the primary reason older woman / younger man relationships ultimately do not work out, and why the opposite type of relationship (younger woman / older man) often DO work out. Men and ... (read in full...)

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