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In a relationship with a partner sending nude photos to others?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *rettyprincess2011 writes:

I am wondering what someone say about this situation. If you are in a relationship with someone, a long term relationship, is it ok for one of those people to send nude pictures of themself to other random people online, in hopes of getting some back?

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (29 August 2011):

Some people will find this OK as long as they know about it. For example, I have a friend who is in a pretty open relationship. She and her partner have had threesomes, which she encouraged, and she's tempted by the idea of swinging. She sends pics of herself to strangers in exchanges. Her partner knows about it and the two agree that it is ok, as it doesn't threaten their relationship.

Personally, I hold more traditional views. I don't send naked pics of myself to strangers, whether I'm in a relationship or not. It just isn't something I'd do. If I'm dating a girl and I found out she was doing that, that would be enough for me to end it with her. I'm pretty conservative when it comes to this type of thing, though.

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A male reader, FLIPPER66 United States +, writes (29 August 2011):

FLIPPER66 agony auntwhy are you dating this guy?(you say at present its a long term relationship) it sounds as though its going to be short term to me, if he's sending off nude pics now to random (i'm supposing its girls) people while just in a dating mode with you . what would he do in a serious relationship (like if you were married). most likely this would continue even to the point of him possibly cheating on you with some girl who sent him a nude pic back that he may find sexier than you. is this the kind of relationship you want from any guy (obvious answer to me would be a resounding "NO".)

my conclusion is if he's sending these pics off to other girls then his feelings for you can not be that great and will do nothing but hurt you eventually if he continues.

ask him to stop if he wavers any at all about not wanting to lose him . he'll most like never change. however its possible that if faced loosing you he might stop but my only question would be for how long.

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A male reader, Sex_counsellor United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2011):

Sex_counsellor agony auntYou need to discus this behaviour with your partner. They are unlikely to be happy if you were the one sending the photo's. You need to find new ways to excite your sex life and relationship so that no one feels the need to tail off.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011):

No it is not OK if it is supposed to be an exclusive relationship. It is a betrayal of trust.

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A male reader, HelpyMcHelperson United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2011):

No, that isn't cheating in terms of actually having sex with someone but that person is showing themselves to people outside of the relationship so it is cheating in that sense.

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