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Newest answer was posted
14 February 2010: I just wanted to wish each and every person who visits this site a Very Happy Valentines Day! Whether you are with someone or not, here's wishing you all happiness, good health, and prosperity! ~Brooklyngirl~...
Everything Happens For a Reason - WHY?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2009: I am a firm believer that "Everything Happens For a Reason!" The problem is that we don't know the reason! We can drive ourselves mad asking ourselves "WHY?" Why do people touch our lives and then disappear? Why is there so much pain and h...
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Should I stay with my boyfriend or try and date the new guy?
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 2 months. There is something about him I just don't click with. I don't feel the same way with him that I have with other guys I have dated, even in the same time period. He is older than me by 8 years, I'm 21 he is ...
A. 18 February 2010: Life holds no guarantees for us! Everything is about risk...if you try to "have your cake, and eat it too," You may wind up the loser! This is just one of those difficult decisions you will have to face in life! Neither one of these guys may be ... (read in full...)
How do I forgive myself for being so foolish????
Q. Hi I wonder if anyone can help me, last year I admitted to my husband I had made such a mess of our personal finances we had less money that he thought we had and I was in a terrible state. He told me he would never trust me again and that he ...
A. 15 February 2010: I'm with CaringGuy on this one! You are falling deeper and deeper into depression! The Morphine will definitely add to that. Seek counselling as soon as possible.
They will guide you to forgive yourself.
Your husband has forgiven you. Now it ... (read in full...)
Am I REALLY that repulsive???
Q. I have been dating a great guy for abt 2 months. Things have gotten more intense the past couple of weeks (lots of kissing). Last night, I really wanted the sex to happen ( and it seemed like he did too). Then when I was mostly undressed ...
A. 14 February 2010: Don't take this on as your fault! As marriedlady said it could be a problem of his! (E.D.)
It's not your age, trust me! You take care of yourself! It's not you! I will be 60 in a few months...and men are still attracted to me! And, I don'... (read in full...)
I love her and miss her so much but if I get back with her she will hurt me again
Q. Hi, When I meet my GF she was became the girl of my life, yeah not only she is the first girl in my life but also my first love. You know it was a kind of loving someone without EXPECTATION. She pretended to be a very simple girl and v...
A. 14 February 2010: You are very welcome! You can always share here when you need to! We are here for YOU!... (read in full...)
Sad from hubby's silent treatment
Q. Two days ago I went to my husband crying and told him I was feeling emotional over some deceased pets and wanted his support. He was hugging me and telling me everything was going to be fine and while looking over my right shoulder he blurted out ...
A. 14 February 2010: What he did was disrespectful...but sometimes, we blurt things out thoughtlessly...we've all done it!
What bothers me, however is that he NEVER appologizes!
Also that his anger frightens you!
I lived with my abusive husband for 16 years. I... (read in full...)
Am I being blind or just paranoid?
Q. I just wanted to know if I'm being paraniod. My bf and I have been going out for 6 months now, we have a age gap of 10 years, he's 21 and I'm 31. I've got 3 kids and he has none. He cheated on me in our third month, told me the truth about it. ...
A. 14 February 2010: What will be, will be! You cannot control other's actions. You will drive yourself crazy worrying about what he is doing and who he is seeing.
All you can do is hope for the best!
I am in a LDR, and for happiness and wellbeing, I have to have ... (read in full...)
I love her and miss her so much but if I get back with her she will hurt me again
Q. Hi, When I meet my GF she was became the girl of my life, yeah not only she is the first girl in my life but also my first love. You know it was a kind of loving someone without EXPECTATION. She pretended to be a very simple girl and v...
A. 14 February 2010: By forgiving her over and over again, in her mind you are condoning her behavior. She believes she can always count on you to forgive her!
You need to stand up for yourself, and let her go! She is definitely not the woman for you. She will alwa... (read in full...)
I should want to be with my wife, but I really want to be with the woman I am having an affair with. What should I do?
Q. I am 41 years old married 15 years with 3 kids under 12. I met someone 9 months ago and have been having an affair since. I told her I was married when we met. I told my wife that I was in love with someone else and i did not love her. I filed ...
A. 13 February 2010: Seek counseling to sort out your feelings. It sounds as though it is a constant conflict for you, and you need some guidence.
It is obvious that you want to do what's right.
Good Luck
~BG~... (read in full...)
I feel like an idiot for letting this go on for so long! Will he ever stop lying to me?
Q. my husband cheated for five years with a person at work. I was suspicious of their friendship bet he said "only friends." They took trips together and he would call from cell to tell me that he loved me. Someone sent me a letter telling me all o...
A. 13 February 2010: I have to agree with DearKelja. He has proved himself in a negative way for all these years. Do you sincerely think he is going to change?
I know what it is like to hope and pray that your husband will change...but never does! The best thi... (read in full...)
I love her and miss her so much but if I get back with her she will hurt me again
Q. Hi, When I meet my GF she was became the girl of my life, yeah not only she is the first girl in my life but also my first love. You know it was a kind of loving someone without EXPECTATION. She pretended to be a very simple girl and v...
A. 13 February 2010: You say you can't live without her, yet you can't be with her...what a dilemma!
It can't be both ways...you need to make a decision! Either, you try to move on and keep searching for someone else, or....you take her back and try to work thin... (read in full...)
Can stress and anxiety manifest itself like this?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm really in need of some advice. I recently found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me for a long time while we were together and I ended things. Ever since, I've been through a million emotions and needless to say, very str...
A. 13 February 2010: Yes, absolutely! You may want to see your doctor to help you through this difficult time.... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to believe he loves me after all this?
Q. I believe I know the answers to these questions but am really looking to see what others say. I know my husband tells me I'm wrong, but, I don't think so. Does a man love you when: He cheats on you, gets the woman pregnant, doesn't tell you about i...
A. 13 February 2010: Yes, Honey, you do know the answers to your questions! Except the last one you asked...YOU ARE NOT PLUMB CRAZY!
Love is not cruel! Love is not full of pain!
This man doesn't know the meaning of love! He possibly has a need for you, but it i... (read in full...)
Should I give him a shot?
Q. I dont know if i should give this guy a chance or not.. i was out with my friends for a night out and ended up getting quite drunk. I met this guy and we hit it off and made out for hours. But now I'm just not feeling 'it'. He has been calling me ...
A. 13 February 2010: Funny how when we sober up, we realize things aren't what we thought they were! It's called impaired judgement. LOL
If you are not "feeling it" then, why bother?
But if you do want to "give him a shot," be sure to look for red flags! Your... (read in full...)
He used me as a substitute girl! How do I teach him a lesson?
Q. we've been relationship for 6months.before relationship he told me he has a gf 3yrs ago,she cheated him and went to overseas with her new bf. i comforted him and later we're in love. then later i found out that he still keep in touch with his e...
A. 13 February 2010: Forget teaching him a lesson! Use this situation as a lesson for yourself! Our lives are full of tough lessons and we have to learn from them.
You are better off without him! Move on and consider it a lesson learned!
~BG~... (read in full...)
I get jealous of the special way he treats his wife but I am very dependent on him! What should I do?
Q. i have a lover who is married for over 20 years. We've been together for almost 3 yrs now. I am 32, he is 50 now. i love him so much and he loves me also but he loves his wife and children. most of the time, i get jealous and hurt because of the ...
A. 13 February 2010: "The special way he treats his wife?" HE'S BEEN CHEATING ON HER FOR THREE YEARS! Isn't that special!
I'm sorry, but when you get into a relationship with a married man...you have to realize that it's going to be a procession of sleepless, lone... (read in full...)
We have been together for 9 years but he is taking another woman out for Valentines Day!
Q. Hi AUnts and Uncles. I'm really distraught because my boyfriend told me a few days ago, after an argument, that he is going out with another woman (from work) tomorrow for Valentine Night and that he is going to 'stay over' at her place. We ...
A. 13 February 2010: I am so sorry, Honey! I don't understand how people can be so cruel to someone they have shared their lives with for such a long time! It breaks my heart!
No, you don't try to change his mind! You keep your dignity, and move on and never lo... (read in full...)
Valentine's day plans gone wrong...
Q. hi, I've been planning valentines day for a little while now, but its falling to bits, i did have a restaurant booked for valentines day with a set menu for 48 pounds per person, in the last week the restaurant have asked for an extra 40 ontop t...
A. 13 February 2010: I am so sorry that this has happened to you and as the previous poster commented....It just doesn't seem legal! I would talk to the manager of the restuarant and threaten to report them.
As for your girlfriend, she is being totally unfair to you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me twitch and shake. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, when i am with my BF my right leg shakes.. I've slowly gotten use to this and recently my arms started to twitch and move, but i didnt really want him to stop.. I was just wondering if this is normal and ok or should i do something about it?...
A. 7 February 2010: Yes, completely normal! It's a good thing!... (read in full...)
How the hell can you tell if a bloke you meet on the internet is genuine?
Q. How the hell can you tell if a bloke you meet on the internet is genuine. I have met one everything going well. Never met him yet just phone calls and text. Not worried he has a wife or girlfriend as texts me back usually when I text him but not ...
A. 7 February 2010: I have met a lot of people on the internet. You really don't know who a person really is until you meet them in person and get to know them. There are a few exceptions, but generally this is the case.
I met a man from my area, who online seem... (read in full...)
I want to help my woman be that strong woman behind a strong man type of woman.
Q. (Mod Note - OP's own title) How can I help my girlfriend understand that I need to see and feel more affection from her? I've talked to her, but I'm not convinced that she is hearing me. So I'm not sure if she just doesn't know how, or was rai...
A. 7 February 2010: She's 40 years old...you aren't going to change her overnight! You may never change her! You can however rebuild her confidence, with love and patience. Anger will just make things so much worse! Love and compassion is the way to go! ... (read in full...)
Should I organize my birthday plans around his access visit with his daughter?
Q. Its my birthday today, i had planned a bbq at my house, when it started to rain i told my bf i was going to change to dinner with friends at a restaurant, he said no i cant come (because he has to drop his daughter off to her mums house at 8pm) just ...
A. 7 February 2010: It's your birthday! You were not wrong! He was wrong! You were willing to reorganize around his commitment to his daughter.
I don't understand his treatment towards you. Is there more to this? If not, he is being cruel. I am sorry he ruin... (read in full...)
Is there a way to be married before God by man of the cloth and take vows but not file the paperwork and she still change her last name?
Q. I've been married and divorced. I want to eventually marry my new girlfriend, but we have a difference in marriage processes. She wants to be married the "right" way which is being registered with the state. However, I do not believe in the ...
A. 7 February 2010: I suppose so, but it won't be a legal marriage. It won't be recognized by the law. Although after 7 years I believe it is considered a common law marriage.
What you should do is research the laws...that way you will get the accurate answ... (read in full...)
Will out age difference make a difference?
Q. Hi im nina, I just have a question, my bf and i were togetehr for a year and we were doing fine but im just worried, well in these past days I've been thinking about it, about our age differences. Im 18 and he's 27. I met him when i was 17 and he w...
A. 7 February 2010: I was 18 and my first husband was 26. We went on to have two children, and never thought about the age difference.
True, we did eventually divorce, but it had nothing to do with his age! If anything it was more his immaturity...cheating and drin... (read in full...)
Sex is not working out for us. Why is that?
Q. well im fat and me and this girl went to have sex... it was my first time but not her first... she was tight but not tight tight... but she hadnt had sex in like a month... she was on top and we couldnt get it in... i couldnt get fully har...
A. 7 February 2010: You start out your post, by criticizing yourself! You may have been feeling insecure and worried about your appearance. That can cause you to be unable to keep your erection. Self-esteem is an important part of performance for a man...especially ... (read in full...)
Does sex ruin relationships?
Q. does sex ruin relationships? me and this girl love each other ... we had sex and we slowly drifted appart but i love her so much and she still loves me a little so would not having sex be better?...
A. 7 February 2010: Hell No! Making love is the intimate part of a relationship, just as CaringGuy has said, another part of intimacy is communication! Being able to talk about everything is key!
The ability to open up and discuss feelings can make all the diff... (read in full...)
My husband cheated and called ME a psycho, now he won't leave her!
Q. My question is regarding my reaction to my husband sleeping with another woman. I found out he was seeing this woman from work and I knew he was going to her place so I kept calling and texting him all evening to find out where he was and what was ...
A. 7 February 2010: Have you heard the expression the best defense is a good offense? That's what he is doing! He is turning it around and making you the wacko!
He cheated on you and to add insult to injury...he wouldn't answer your calls and texts! No you were... (read in full...)
I'm completely supporting my son, his girlfriend, and baby and running out of money! What do I do?
Q. i would really appreciate some advice. Ok, i was with my 19 year old sons father for 20 years. It was an awful relationship, he was a control freak and was verbally and physically abusive. i left him finally 2 years ago and moved so that he doesn...
A. 7 February 2010: They are both being selfish and inconsiderate! You have done plenty for them and it seems as though they don't appreciate it at all.
It's time to stop enabling and put your foot down...especially with your son! Tell him he needs to get a job ... (read in full...)
How can I gain a girl's love back?
Q. how can i gain a girls love back?...
A. 7 February 2010: Yes, more info is necessary to help! Why did you break up? How long were you together....etc, etc, etc!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lost a bottle of her favourite perfume while in a club with me last night... And she wants ME to replace it! What should I do?
Q. Last night in a club with my friends, I got separated from the group. I decided to text my girlfriend to find out where she was. When I couldn't find her from her directions I told her where she could find me. When she got there she waved to me, and ...
A. 7 February 2010: This girl is unbelievably inconsiderate! Sorry, I know she's your girlfriend and you care for her, but really? She wanted you to get into a fight with this guy? You absolutely did the right thing! To start something with this guy would have been ... (read in full...)
What should I think about these drunken incidents and the hickies?
Q. my boyfriend called me last night,said he was going to come pick me up, after 3 when he called i didnt hear from him all night,i got dressed and waited..after about 9 hours of waiting i went to sleep,i got a phone call at 10 this morning, it was him ...
A. 6 February 2010: I wouldn't believe him either!... (read in full...)
I can't ejaculate in bed... help!
Q. The following is a bit blunt I hope you don't mind! My girlfriend and I enjoy a healthy relationship and while we haven't had sex yet we are both comfortable with third base and full nudity. If I 'finger' her then she comes, but the thing is, I ...
A. 6 February 2010: Have you tried oral sex yet? That may make all the difference in the world! Keep experimenting till you find a workable routine!
Good Luck
~BG~... (read in full...)
Would you prefer a real rose or a fake one?
Q. Valentines help! I've been with a girl for a couple of weeks and have planned to take her out for a meal on valentines. I just wondered though, I'm planning on giving her a single red rose, but wanted to know on whether that rose should be real or ...
A. 4 February 2010: Absolutely, Positively...Real!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gave me the same engagement ring he gave his ex!
Q. Hello, my boyfriend gave me an engagement ring that was previously used by his ex girlfriend. He says that he redid the ring, but the diamond is the same. It makes me feel uncomfortable. There is also a plus, when we started the relation...
A. 4 February 2010: That's Creepy! I'd rather not have a ring!... (read in full...)
I want to end the relationship because she has put on too much weight
Q. I am trying to find a way to end a relationship with a woman who has simply become too obese for me and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Is there anyone who can give me some advice?...
A. 4 February 2010: You can use any reason other than her weight. As others have said, you obviously don't love her! But don't crush her self esteem by blaming it on her weight!
... (read in full...)
7 years, now long distance. He says we should see other people. Help!
Q. Boyfriend and I have been trying to get work in another state. He just informed me he got a high paying job in the state where we both have talked of going. He said he's going to look for a place there this weekend. He also said that we should see ...
A. 4 February 2010: I believe CaringGuy is right! And there is no easy way to say it. He is telling you he's leaving you. I'm sorry! I know how much that must hurt you! Seven years is a long time. But you can do better! Don't give up! Find someone is willing ... (read in full...)
I always thought Valentines day was about the guy treating the girl. Now my boyfriend thinks I don't care.
Q. This Might Sound Bad But I had No Idea That I was Supposed to Buy Something for My Boyfriend For Valentines Day. We're Going on 4 years Now and Every Year he always Does something Extreme For me and I Love it! Though I have Never Bought Him Anything ...
A. 4 February 2010: It's not a one sided thing! It's for couples! Couples who love eachother and want to express their love on this special day.
Four years, and this never came up before? Just look at the Valentines Cards in stores....."To my wonderful husb... (read in full...)
He said he was dating to teach his ex girlfriend a lesson. Where does that leave me?
Q. Hi guys. I really like this guy and we've been out a few times but he is still in touch with his GF and I recently found out that he decided to start dating as a 'payback' (according to him) to 'teach her a lesson' for some lie or other she told ...
A. 4 February 2010: Ginormous Red Flags! More than anything the fact that he blames others for his problems is one big red flag!
He will in the future...blame you for something/anything that goes wrong in his life...that is, if you stick around!
What is it about... (read in full...)
Is dating someone who is financially unstable with stress and anxiety issues worth it?
Q. My boyfriend is broke. After working as a stock broker and earning a very high income, he began suffering medical issues from the stress and pressure of the job. He eventually quit this job so that he could improve his health and found something ...
A. 3 February 2010: It would be wise to request all records from his doctors, documenting his illness and reasons for being unable to keep his former position. When he goes to court he will have a leg to stand on!
I wish you luck with your uphill battle!
~BG!... (read in full...)
Is dating someone who is financially unstable with stress and anxiety issues worth it?
Q. My boyfriend is broke. After working as a stock broker and earning a very high income, he began suffering medical issues from the stress and pressure of the job. He eventually quit this job so that he could improve his health and found something ...
A. 2 February 2010: If you have such a fantastic connection, then you can probably overcome the problems together. Were you with him because he a pristegious career, or because you love him?
I couldn't walk out on someone I loved due to financial problems. I coul... (read in full...)
I think there is a huge problem of woman simply spreading there legs and thinking that is all that is required of them.
Q. For the first 10 years of marriage my wife hasn't been sexual at all. She new absolutly nothing at all about sex and could care less about learning anything new. Of course she couldn't have an orgasm. She did do her wifely duties and would spread ...
A. 30 January 2010: LonelyTwo: Absolutely on the money!
heed: your numbers are incorrect! Maybe you have been hanging out with the wrong woman! There is a whole world of us liberated women out there!
I really do think, not only your wife, but you as well,... (read in full...)
I think there is a huge problem of woman simply spreading there legs and thinking that is all that is required of them.
Q. For the first 10 years of marriage my wife hasn't been sexual at all. She new absolutly nothing at all about sex and could care less about learning anything new. Of course she couldn't have an orgasm. She did do her wifely duties and would spread ...
A. 30 January 2010: an after thought! I must go along with the other ladies who don't feel that they are doing "their wifely duties!"
It is playtime! Love-making time! Sex is truly an act of love if two people are on the same page! ... (read in full...)
I think there is a huge problem of woman simply spreading there legs and thinking that is all that is required of them.
Q. For the first 10 years of marriage my wife hasn't been sexual at all. She new absolutly nothing at all about sex and could care less about learning anything new. Of course she couldn't have an orgasm. She did do her wifely duties and would spread ...
A. 30 January 2010: I think, due to her inexperience in the beginning, it was up to you to guide her, and teach her, and above all please her!!
She is not going to wake up one morning and suddenly become a porn star, with all you see in the movies.
I always a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lost a bottle of her favourite perfume while in a club with me last night... And she wants ME to replace it! What should I do?
Q. Last night in a club with my friends, I got separated from the group. I decided to text my girlfriend to find out where she was. When I couldn't find her from her directions I told her where she could find me. When she got there she waved to me, and ...
A. 30 January 2010: You're girlfriend is very demanding! How could she blame you or hold you responsible for that???
I would never have the nerve to even suggest that! ... (read in full...)
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