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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 February 2010: I just wanted to wish each and every person who visits this site a Very Happy Valentines Day! Whether you are with someone or not, here's wishing you all happiness, good health, and prosperity! ~Brooklyngirl~...
Everything Happens For a Reason - WHY?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2009: I am a firm believer that "Everything Happens For a Reason!" The problem is that we don't know the reason! We can drive ourselves mad asking ourselves "WHY?" Why do people touch our lives and then disappear? Why is there so much pain and h...
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Will I be able to meet a future girlfriend without relying on my work/occupation to find her?
Q. I'm 22 at university and I'm currently doing a masters in Civil Engineering. I've had 2 girlfriends before and after my last one I decided to concentrate on my exams and wait until I start working (after I've done a bit of travelling). ALthough...
A. 14 May 2010: The answer is yes! You say you want to do some travelling...what better way to meet people??? And as far as your field...there are women in every field these days! You will meet someone! I promise!!... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the date because he told me his penis size?
Q. Hi friends, I met a guy online and he is 13 years younger than me. I am 48, take great care of myself and get alot of attention from guys. We are both professionals, work out alot and he is very handsome. We have been emailing, within a week he...
A. 14 May 2010: Keep the date, but let him know how you felt about his comments. Reiderate the fact that you are NOT looking for a one night stand. Be upfront and honest about your feelings while you are on the date! You have the right to voice your wants and ... (read in full...)
Can a guy tell if you're a virgin or not?
Q. Hi, So i'm 20 and lost my virginity recently. It was with a guy I sort of know. I was drunk at the time and so was he. He didn't know I was a virgin and I haven't told him. I don't think it's a good idea he knows. Is there a way he could tell? I di...
A. 14 May 2010: I agree with The Realist! If you didn't bleed, there is no way he would know! Since you were both drunk...he probably didn't even notice your inexperience.
If you want to appear more experienced...read up on the art of making love. There are ... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 13 May 2010: After telling his wife...he should go to his sister-in-law, and tell her he wants a paternity test...they can do that without the brother-in-laws consent I believe.
Marieclaire...
You are right the boy should be the main concern here...b... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 13 May 2010: Reply to Anonymous Male: That is why the DNA test us essential!!
She claims that in the beginning she wanted what was best for the baby....well, what about her son NOW! This will send him into a tailspin that could last the rest of his life... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 13 May 2010: Tell your wife upfront as Q suggested! Then, the two of you can work on what comes next! A DNA test is a must!
I don't know what the results will be on the other end...after all, she admitted she made a conscious decision to deceive her now ... (read in full...)
Relics from his last relationship - Should I ask him to get rid of them?
Q. Hi There, My boyfriend of 15 months and I are about to move overseas together - I've been transferred to the UK branch of the company I currently work for. We've been living together for the past year and have just come through a rough patch in...
A. 13 May 2010: I wouldn't take it upon myself to get rid of anything...but I would request he box them up and leave them with his mom!
If he refuses? He is showing disrespect for your feelings. ... (read in full...)
Finding latex gloves and using them
Q. Hi.. Is it worth getting latex gloves for when fingering my partner's genitals and where are the best place to get them?...
A. 13 May 2010: Ummmm...What???
Bad idea on so many levels...
If my guy came at me with latex gloves...I would be totally insulted, humiliated, and concerned about his mental state!
Secondly, there are a lot of people who are alergic to latex...and ... (read in full...)
My mate was abused--how do I get her to go to counselling?
Q. Hi Me and my partner are engaged and we are hapy together. Although this, I want to know how best to cummunicate about the issue below:= My parner has gone through a touch sexual rough time and I feel that she is a bit too dependent on me...
A. 13 May 2010: She could truly benefit from the right counselling. However, all you can do is suggest in a loving caring way. I'm sure you have heard the expression "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." Well that's all you can do. You ... (read in full...)
My financial situation is making me depressed, what can I do?
Q. i really need some advice. i broke up with my fiance after 7 years last year. he left me on the verge of bankruptcy and didnt care. i was left with all the debt -55,000 now im at home living at my mums due to me having to do an iva. im so depre...
A. 13 May 2010: I know your situation well! I have lived it for the past three years! I had to file for bankruptcy also. I am still paying off depts that could not be included.
All you can do is the best you can do! I know that sounds weird, but it's what... (read in full...)
I’m hurt, saddened, angry, betrayed, confused. What do I do now?
Q. My wife and I have been happily (or so I thought) married 3 years. I’m a good husband to her, I love her with all my heart, treat her well and always look after her (her words previously). Major area I am lacking in at the moment is finances as ...
A. 13 May 2010: I am sorry you are hurting. I know how painful it is for you right now.
The best thing you can do, is to get on with your life. Apparently she has!
Reconnect with old friends, begin to socialize, and take care of yourself!
Try not to dwell... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 11 May 2010: Yes, Indeed! Time to move on and forget this guy. Sounds like you are lucky it ended now! You could've spent a life time of misery.
I know from my own experience! A man that tries to control and manipulate like that...is bad news! They will... (read in full...)
How do I ask him, who that blonde girl was in his car?
Q. Hello, I'm in my 20s and not really had that much experience with guys and have slept with only 3 men. Anyway ive been on-off, seeing this guy who the other week said he sees me as a good friend. He's 10 years older then me. Anyways, we first...
A. 11 May 2010: If you truly want only friendship with him, why are you having difficulty asking a simple question?
If it was one of your female friends you saw in a car with an unfamiliar male...you wouldn't have a problem asking her who he was, would you?
Just ... (read in full...)
I'd love to date my close friend but I'm ashamed of my financial situation
Q. i adore my close friend and would love us to date-i know hes fond of me. im scared of him knowing stuff-like how my ex left me edging on bankruptcy thanks to his grasping so im insolvent for 3 more years and my flat looks really bad. i have little ...
A. 9 May 2010: I understand how you feel...I am in a similar situation with my finances.
But, a year ago, I met the man of my dreams! I was totally honest about my circumstances. He has helped me so much! He gives me advice when I ask for it. But does... (read in full...)
I know the relationship is wrong but I don't want to let go of him
Q. I dont really know where to start...I have been best friends with a guy for the last three or four years who has helped me through a previouse relationship with his friend..He has always been there for me and listened to me endlessly speak of my ...
A. 9 May 2010: What is your question???
You know it's wrong...but you can't let go? Are you here to confess your sins???
Imagine you were married to Charlie, and a female acquaintence of yours was leaning on him for support....one thing led to another.... (read in full...)
What I see in my police job makes me afraid for my own kids
Q. I am a father of 3 teenage children 1 son and 2 daughters (13, 15 and 16) I am also a police officer. Over the past year we have been called to many parties with underage drinking/and or fights and once we got there we found live sex, orgies, group ...
A. 9 May 2010: No morales these days. Makes me glad my three are adults!
As a parent all you can do is teach them good values. Not all kids are like that. Some grow up fine without experiencing the things you have seen.
As a police officer you see the wors... (read in full...)
My pregnant fiancé has no energy and won't have sex with me
Q. My fiance doesn't want sex with me anymore... Please help! My fiance doesn't want sex with me anymore. She and I are both young and she is with child. She has no energy, she sits around the house all day, sleeps till after noon, with no job. I t...
A. 9 May 2010: She can't help it! It's hormonal! Let her get all the rest she needs. Carrying a baby for nine months is NO WALK IN THE PARK!
Instead of pressuring her to have sex, you should be pampering her with your love! This isn't a game! This is a real... (read in full...)
Concerned because the "butterflies" are gone!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for three years. We have lived together for the last two years. He is a very sweet person and an excellent boyfriend. We get along great and hardly fight. My concern is that the "butterflies" are gone.Also, I go ...
A. 4 May 2010: The butterflies never last forever! That's only in the beginning...
as for the sex drive thing...that's perfectly normal too! We all have our peaks and valleys. It really doesn't have anything to do with love or lack of it.
Do you see yourself... (read in full...)
With so much stress in his life how can I keep us from drifting apart?
Q. How do I cope with the sudden distance in our relationship without putting pressure on my boyfriend. My guy recently lost his mother and is coping with an ill father who is in and out of hospital, needing several visits per week. He has a full time ...
A. 3 May 2010: Patience...understanding...support! That's all you can do during this difficult time in his life. Show him that you are there for him, no matter what!
Don't put added pressure on him...it will push him further away.... (read in full...)
Men: Would you have treated a woman like this?
Q. I when out with this guy from work with his friends. We when to a couple of bars and a sushi place. We really hit it off. He bought me drinks that night. He stayed the night over at my place. We did not have sex but pretty close. The next ...
A. 3 May 2010: You did the absolutely right thing by walking out on this guy! Don't let guys take advantage of you!
And don't let guys stay over on your first date! This guy was obviously just looking for sex, and not even willing to wine you and dine you firs... (read in full...)
Stop the madness!
Q. dear cupid,this qoustion is about my sister and she went out with this guy they went out and broke up 3 times and he cheated on her with her best friend how wrong is that and she keeps going for him over and over again what can i do to stop this ...
A. 1 May 2010: How can YOU stop this??? YOU CAN'T. When she has had enough pain and suffering...she will get off the rollercoaster she is riding. No one can make her get off if she doesn't want to.
All you can do is be there for her when she crashes agai... (read in full...)
How can I stop my boyfriend from being so scared of sex toys?
Q. Hi, My bf is scared of sex toys... He says he feels intimidated by them, and that he has had a couple of women tell him hes dumped they bought a dildo and showed him the door, one of these girls (i used to know her and she wasnt terribly freindl...
A. 30 April 2010: First of all, you're mother is very insensitive! That was a terrible thing to do! The next time she makes a "snide remark", to embarrass you. Why don't you try coming back with something like: "Mom, maybe you should try it sometime, it may ... (read in full...)
Bf cheated in the past and all I can think about is him doing it again.
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 9 months... i knew him for year before though, and i knew him as a cheater... when we first started dating he cheated on me twice... now that months has passed by i thought i can forget but i cant... i keep thinking ...
A. 27 April 2010: You can't hold him hostage! That will only make matters worse! I'm sorry he has hurt you so badly. But I have to say that as much as you want to believe him...the ex is probably telling the truth.
As for trusting him...you can't! How could you ... (read in full...)
I just had a horrible "first time", or what should have been. I'm too hurt to move on, what do I do?
Q. "Wow, hun...You're so much smaller than my ex...I'm sorry." That's what she told me when we were just about to...yeah Then she got up, apologized, and left quietly. I felt so terrible after, I actually cried lol. We don't see each other anymore. ...
A. 24 April 2010: That girl is an asshole! She was cruel and immature! If a guy knows the right moves....it doesn't matter! Trust me! I know! I have been around for quite a while and size doesn't matter! As long as you know what to do. And there are plenty of ... (read in full...)
Should I start charging my boyfriend rent?
Q. My boyfriend of 12 years and I have 2 children together. We have moved to 3 different houses in our years together all of which I paid for with cash. I am happy in the 3rd home I have purchased, we live in a lakefront home, have a boat, and the kids ...
A. 23 April 2010: Okay, so he did some screwed up things in the past...but, "he has turned himself around," according to you. Be grateful for that and stop living in the past.
My husband did a lot worse in the 16 years before I finally walked away.
You can't ha... (read in full...)
I love my husband but he suddenly abandoned me?
Q. Hello, My husband abandoned my in August 2008,Just up and left,took things he should not of and so on.I haven't seen him and only talked with him via phone 4 times.Last week I saw him out and we got to talking he told me his parents (husband...
A. 23 April 2010: His parents seem to have control of him. They don't like you, for whatever reason...and don't want him with you. Is there a large inheritence involved in the future? Sounds like that could be the bottom line.
If a man would push me aside du... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for this marriage after 25 years?
Q. Hi, i last wrote for help around a month ago. I was so desperately sad for my husband and the situation that we were in as a family. My husband lost his mum around a year ago and was treating me very badly, so bad I would just cry for days and feel...
A. 23 April 2010: I would say you need more guidence than any of us can give you! You need to see a professional who is equipt to deal with all you are carrying on your shoulders.
I know you are hurting, and rightfully so! But ask yourself "what would you tell... (read in full...)
Should I start charging my boyfriend rent?
Q. My boyfriend of 12 years and I have 2 children together. We have moved to 3 different houses in our years together all of which I paid for with cash. I am happy in the 3rd home I have purchased, we live in a lakefront home, have a boat, and the kids ...
A. 23 April 2010: You've been together twelve years...you should be making joint decisions on finances, in my opinion.
But as you say, you did buy the house! But throwing that up to him, will only cause him to get defensive, don't you think?
Maybe you can come... (read in full...)
Does Anyone really find love online or LDR?
Q. Does anyone really find love or a relationship online? Is it possible? I hear stories and know people. But are they the rule or the exception? Is it possible to find love long distance through online. I just like to hear if anyone who has found ...
A. 8 March 2010: If you (or we) have to convince him that it could work...he just might not be ready for it to work!
I am living proof that it can work and so are my family members and friends!
He may just not be ready for commitment yet...just take it slow... (read in full...)
Does Anyone really find love online or LDR?
Q. Does anyone really find love or a relationship online? Is it possible? I hear stories and know people. But are they the rule or the exception? Is it possible to find love long distance through online. I just like to hear if anyone who has found ...
A. 7 March 2010: I know you've already gotten quite a few responses...but I just had to answer this one too! I am madly in love with a man I met online, and he loves me! We plan to be together in the near future. He is the most loving caring, honest guy I have ... (read in full...)
What is this guy's true sexual orientation? Help me figure this one out!!
Q. I have a good friend who I love very much. I would like to have taken our relationship further but on the occasions when we have shared a bed he has not made any move other than a cuddle. The last time we shared a bed I took all my clothes ...
A. 24 February 2010: Yeah....I think he's gay too! I know how hard that is to accept, and I'm sorry!
I suggest you come right out and ask him! It may be a relief to come out to you.
Hey! Gay guys make really good friends of women, though. So, you wouldn't... (read in full...)
Guilt about having sex with my girlfriend.
Q. hello, I am above 20. all of my friends enjoy sex with their girlfriends but I fear that I will feel guilty doing so so I dont have sex with girlfriend and feel annoyed for that...Friends dont feel any guilt and live happily and I feel like ...
A. 21 February 2010: Maybe if you think of it as making love, rather than just raw sex, your guilt will go away.
Sex is the ulimate expression of love with the right person. It is not to be thought of as dirty, or wrong!
What are your girlfriends feelings on ... (read in full...)
My bf mistreats me..should I take my son and leave him?
Q. (Mod note: Poster, we combined your 2 postings as they were both of the same content and topic area) 1) ok well i have a boyfrind ive been with for about six months when we first got together we were so in love. my first husband commited suicide ...
A. 20 February 2010: I think you know exactly what you should do!
It isn't easy to turn and walk away...but I think you know that is exactly what you need to do.
You said he has a history of physical violence...sooner or later he will turn that on you! Don't wa... (read in full...)
Does it matter if a guy is shorter than a girl?
Q. Just a quick question for the ladies especially. Would you be put off a guy if he was smaller than you, height-wise? There is a girl in my class at school, who i get on with really well, talk a lot, and sometimes have a bit of a flirt, but inam ...
A. 20 February 2010: You haven't finished growing! If two people are attracted to each other, height doesn't matter.
I never experienced that situation, due to the fact that I am only 5 ft. tall and it seems as though EVERYONE is taller than me.
Don't let the heig... (read in full...)
Since he cheated my life has never been the same
Q. I'm at breaking point and so is my partner. I don't know what to do anymore. He cheated at the begining of our relationship and I have obviously not dealt with it. My anger has grown to such a point that I don't know if it will ever get better....
A. 20 February 2010: You just may have to "leave him to find yourself." Counselling may help.
I feel that if you can't forgive...then you must forget (the relationship)
If you wish to continue this relationship, you need help getting past the anger...
Good Luck... (read in full...)
The married man I love pretends to be busy and wont talk to me
Q. Im in love with a married man who is 10 years elder than i do. I had recently broke up with a guy.. soon after my break up this man came in my life ( we knew each other even before my break up but we got close to each other after my break up) This ...
A. 20 February 2010: It sounds to me as though he wants to be nothing more than friends. Accept that and move on from there. Find someone who is available and willing to treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
This man has no intentions of anything than frie... (read in full...)
I read my boyfriends texts and now my world has come crashing down
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend now for neally 6 months, and I've trusted him untill now. Yesterday I was bored and I know it was wrong of me but I had the urge to see his texts. In saved messages I saw a text saying 'well you can see...
A. 20 February 2010: CaringGuy has nailed it once again! I believe your imagination is working overtime!
Talk to your boyfriend. Don't just assume it means what you "think" it does. You can upsetting yourself for no reason! ... (read in full...)
I tried to make him jealous, but now he thinks I'm really with my male friend!
Q. me and my long term boyfriend had a petty argument,neither would back down. we have our ups and downs,all is fair,we are as bad as each other. i thought i would play a little game to get him jealous,basicaly,i walked past the building site he`s ...
A. 18 February 2010: Mind games are relationship destroyers! If he won't listen to you...and won't speak to you, then I guess it's over!
Give him some time to cool down and see if he will give you the opportunity to explain the childish game!
If he won't, then mov... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cheated on me with a stripper?
Q. Dear All ... I have only just discovered what happened and Im devistated , my wonderful g/f of 4 Years ( well I used to think wonderful ) Went to a really " out there " Hens Night for the bride to be , It was in the city where there is much ...
A. 18 February 2010: I can only imagine what you are feeling! Is it possible to just chalk it up to a night of crazy drunkin' women...doing things they would never normally do?
If not then, you need to tell her you know...and even who told you! Try to work it out!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend that I told her secret?
Q. hey.. i broke up with my girlfreind about 4 weeks ago, she had been sexually abused in the past and it has affected her trust in people. anyway i took the break up bad, i kept things in for two weeks and then confided everything (including the ...
A. 18 February 2010: She will feel betrayed, with good reason! But you know that don't you? If it were me, I would keep it to myself and hope she never finds out. If you trust the friend you confided in, then, you have nothing to worry about!
She has trust issu... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my boyfriend or try and date the new guy?
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 2 months. There is something about him I just don't click with. I don't feel the same way with him that I have with other guys I have dated, even in the same time period. He is older than me by 8 years, I'm 21 he is ...
A. 18 February 2010: Life holds no guarantees for us! Everything is about risk...if you try to "have your cake, and eat it too," You may wind up the loser! This is just one of those difficult decisions you will have to face in life! Neither one of these guys may be ... (read in full...)
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