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| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
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| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
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Why swallow? whats the pleasure?
Q. dear readers, i would like to ask the men out there and possibly the women why men like a girl to swallow their semen? why is it attractive to men to see there girlfriend swalllowing the product of their energy? some women say it tastes awfu...
A. 28 December 2012: Since I always swallow NOT for him but for ME (it's easier, it's neater and the way I manage blow jobs I never taste it at all whereas I would if I had to spit it out) I never gave it much thought as to what a man would want...
... (read in full...)
Is it bad to be scared about 1st time sex?
Q. Ohkkay im 16 and my boyfriend wants meh too have sex. I have to say i wanna too buhh he will be my first and im really scared too? Is that bad?...
A. 24 February 2011: If you are really scared maybe you are not really ready...... (read in full...)
I'm 27 and he's 41...Should I go for it?
Q. I know age is "just a number." But I met this guy through a mututal friend and he's 14-years older than me. I told my friend that I found him attractive but that I thought he might be a little too old for me. Anyway, we've started seeing each ...
A. 24 February 2011: I am 8 years younger than my Mother in law my husband is 11 years younger than I am... we are married 6 years and it's all fine... once you are past a certain age it's not a big deal.... (read in full...)
I want to be completely smooth down there!
Q. alright, i need tips on how i should shave my pubic area! i know you gals out there know your stuff and i'd love to know your secrets. how do you get it completely smooth? what products do you use? i'm avoiding waxing since it's pricey and would ...
A. 15 February 2011: I shave but I prefer waxing...
when you shave do not go in just one direction... go up go down go sideways.. go diagonal. Hair does not grow in one direction and you need to hit it from all directions.
also when you do shave use either very ... (read in full...)
Do married couples over 65 still have sex?
Q. I would like to know, can a 65 yrs old woman can still be active in sex? Do you think a married couple at this age make love still? To men who's wife are from ages 60-65, is sex enjoyable with her or you prefer to look for younger women to satisfy...
A. 10 February 2011: FWIW my grandparents were in their 80s and still sexually active with each other.
I don't think that their age has anything to do with communication problems.
If he needs viagra to perform it's not about the wife's desire or attractiveness. ... (read in full...)
She wants to take a "Mommy Break". Would getting her a weekend by herself for V-Day be unromantic?
Q. Would it be horribly un-romantic for me to book a beachfront room for my wife to take a 2-day getaway by herself, as a Valentines Day gift? She has been talking about wanting to take a "mommy break" as in, get away for a couple days to relax, read, ...
A. 7 February 2011: MOM here... I would ADORE THIS... of course my babies are 24 and 26 now...... (read in full...)
Should I let 19 years of marriage go?
Q. should I let 19 years of marriage go..My husband told me soon after my daughter from a previous marriage was married and hand a beautiful son that he didnt love me anymore and that he was not old enough to be called papaw. I am 9 years older than ...
A. 5 February 2011: Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me too! my hubby is bald and is 11 yrs younger than I am. My oldest child is only 13 years older than he is and I can't wait to be grandma... and my hubby is sort of ok with it but not quite.
I'm sorry your hus... (read in full...)
My parents told me the girl I'm dating isn't socioeconomically acceptable!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 24 and i really love my girlfriend so2 much...however, my parents don't approve of this girl.. they consider her as not being of the same level socioeconomically....i don't care what her parents work as, or what type of house she ...
A. 4 February 2011: Live your life for yourself. My father was none too pleased when at 44 I married my third husband who is far beneath the SE I was raised at, is not of my faith, and has a child out of wedlock that I took as my own child... It took nearly 5 yea... (read in full...)
Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend?
Q. Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend? Personality as in being more assertive, more sexy or just overall more "loving" to them even though you have been doing just fine since your relationship kicked off. Just a si...
A. 4 February 2011: I would not change my personality for anyone but myself. And even then it would be hard. I can change how I behave in terms of being more attentive, if I feel the need, but that's not a personality trait.... (read in full...)
I've got him some great Valentines gifts, but he ridicules even the idea of presents!
Q. hi i am 29 year old woman in love with a man, weve been dating 10 months now and live in different cities, i know this sounds silly but its valentines coming up and i have bought him some lovely presents, i did for his birthday and christmas ...
A. 3 February 2011: my first husband was like this. never gave me a card or a gift for any holiday or birthday.... it was an indication of his inability to give me other things too.. unconditional love... support, acceptance...
People do not exist in a vacuum..... (read in full...)
Why did he stop running back to me?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend and now he has a gilfriend. I'm fuming because she's prettier and nicer then me. All of our mutual friends adore her. She's nice to me to and that pisses me off. How could my boyfriend move on from me so fast?!!! He ...
A. 3 February 2011: Did you dump him to have him run back to you so you could get an ego stroke that he still wanted you? Cause that's what it sounds like.
You dumped him, he moved on and stopped playing your game. I guess he didn't know the rules.... (read in full...)
Do women feel aroused during breastfeeding?
Q. Hi, I was just curious and it might sound silly, but it's quite important for me to know. As most of us know, breast and nipples are very sensitive when sucked/licked/touched. So I was thinking about those women who breastfeed, constantly havin...
A. 2 February 2011: i nursed two kids for 5 years... it's not a turn on trust me.... (read in full...)
Is this age gap too big?
Q. how big an age gap is too big? the guy i like is 24, and i'm 17. that's quite a big gap, but i was just wondering if it's too huge or if it's acceptable because my opinion is just what i want to hear so i wanted to know other opinions....
A. 1 February 2011: RIGHT NOW, IMO yes it's too big.
but later on it won't be.
my daughter is 18 and her bf is 22 and sometimes their gap is too big.
my hubby, 11 years younger than me but I was 44 when we married... we don't even notice it now...
... (read in full...)
Why swallow? whats the pleasure?
Q. dear readers, i would like to ask the men out there and possibly the women why men like a girl to swallow their semen? why is it attractive to men to see there girlfriend swalllowing the product of their energy? some women say it tastes awfu...
A. 1 February 2011: why spit? I'm a female and the truth is that when a guy cums it's so far back in my mouth/throat that there is no taste and no feeling of the semen... easier to swallow...... (read in full...)
Does my 'friends with benefits' guy have deeper feelings for me than he is letting on?
Q. i have a friend with benefits, problem is i think im in love with him,he was my first love when i was 13 years old and now im 27, we met up for the first time in all these years about 5 months ago and one thing led to another and we have become ...
A. 28 January 2011: Sadly he probably does not.
and FWB never works when one of participants falls in love...you will get hurt. you will read things into what he says and does. you will convince yourself it is more than it is.... (read in full...)
26 year old man 18 year old female... WRONG ?????
Q. 26yr old Male, interested in 18yr old female O.k. so their is this very cute girl who works at a local coffee shop, I have been interested in her for some time now. She beat me to the punch, by friending me of Facebook. We have been talking for...
A. 19 January 2011: 18 to 26 is big.
30 to 36 is not...
my daughter is 18 and her bf is 22 and sometimes it's huge for them.
BUT I'm 50 and my hubby is 39 and it's perfect....
age is just a number.... (read in full...)
Why was he holding his daughter's hand like he was?
Q. Is this weird or not?? Whilst driving my partner of 18 months reached across to the back of the car to hold his 12 year old daughters hand. He held it for 10 minutes. She has not been upset or anything -just sitting there.I felt uncomfortable as I ...
A. 18 January 2011: they lie INTERTWINED a lot!??!
Am I the only one that sees huge red flags here?
My father NEVER lied intertwined with me ever
My husband was a single dad to a girl and he never did this with his daughter and I met them when she was 9. He ... (read in full...)
Am I an awful person for not wanting him to go on a boys holiday?
Q. My bf broke my heart a year ago by lying and meeting up with his ex/saving half-naked photos of her on his computer. We made up and he's been good since then.My trust is SLOWLY starting to build up, but by no means is it there yet. He suddenly ...
A. 17 January 2011: my husband lied to me and if he told me he was going on a boy's holiday without a good reason (like he was going with his race team racing and I'd be able to verify this) I would tell him NO you can't go. and if he said he would not go I'd say ... (read in full...)
I always said I'd leave a cheater, but now that its happening to me I'm torn!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for about two years now and we have been living together for about one year. We share a lap top and I came across her facebook page the other day where she had forgotten to log out. I have never gone through her ...
A. 14 January 2011: I know this will not be a popular answer.... I love the saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"
I believe in a second chance.. after being given consequences for the bad behavior...
my dad cheated on my mom 27 years int... (read in full...)
What can make me desire sex again?
Q. I am menopausal and i havne't desired sex for a long time, is there somethig i can do to help make me feel or desire sex. I do things to make my husband happy but, i feel in adequate. ...
A. 14 January 2011: I suggest you speak to your Gyn about the problem. there are HRT that can help.
... (read in full...)
He still checks an online dating site, I wonder if I am being played
Q. I met a man on a dating site, we have been dating a little over a month. I really like him and he said he really likes me too. He brought up deleting our accounts, I deleting mine, he said he can't figure out how to delete his. He said he is not ...
A. 14 January 2011: If you have to ask you know the answer right? yeah it sounds like you are. recreate your account... he's not a keeper IMO... (read in full...)
Can you love 2 men at the same time?
Q. I've been married to a wonderful man for 3 years now and we've been together for 10. I am in love with my husband, even though he is very paranoid. He needs to call me and check up on me every now and then and this has been the case for the past 10 ...
A. 14 January 2011: While I believe you CAN love more than one person at a time, I do not think what you feel for the guy at work is love. Lust maybe, limerence perhaps, animal sexual chemistry maybe... Flirting when you are married is fun... but it can be ... (read in full...)
Is a condom enough?
Q. Hi I'm a Uni student who is a virgin and I've been dating this guy for a few months, and I really want to have sex with him but I'm scared to death of getting pregnant. If he uses a condom, do I really have that much to worry about?......
A. 13 January 2011: personally when i was young and did not want to get pregnant i would not trust condoms.
I would possibly trust condoms with spermicide or condoms and a diaphragm or condoms and a sponge or birth control pills....
to me condoms are to p... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 weeks and now I feel we're growing apart!
Q. OK so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 weeks now and i feel we are moving apart and also when i asks him how doo i look he says fine ? i always compliment him but he never does to me he gives me hugs and kissed me on the check for a dare ...
A. 13 January 2011: I'm sorry but at two weeks out you guys should still be "stuck up each other's butts" as my kids say...
IF you already feel trouble in paradise this may not be the guy for you...... (read in full...)
How do you formalize a breakup without a lawyer?
Q. Section breaking up. Hello, I wanna break up with my gfriend for cheating, but I would like to avoid going to a lawyer. We have a 2 year old. I figure if I pay for: 100% the apartment they live in including utilities 50% the kinder garden...
A. 12 January 2011: does your state have court mediators? they are cheaper than lawyers.
If you are not married the only thing to determine is child support.... there are always state guidelines for that. it's based on your salary, her salary and who has primary ... (read in full...)
I love him, and think that deep down there he loves me too, even though he said I'm not the one for him! How do I get him back?
Q. Hi, I need some help on how to get my boyfriend back. He is 24, very immature, but also the love of my life. He recently broke up with me because he was afraid to committ and said that he loved me although was no longer "in love" with me. He came...
A. 12 January 2011: just because YOU love him does not mean HE loves YOU.
He's telling you what you NEED to hear even if you don't want to hear it. LISTEN to him... let him go. It hurts NOW but later on if you try to get him to stay with you it will hurt MORE....... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a woman to cry on demand?
Q. Hi, Last year I was in a relationship with a woman who in retrospect I feel was manipulating me. She had asked me for a lot of money and I gave it to her over the course of the year, without getting anything back. (We were not even dating.) But I fo...
A. 12 January 2011: I can.... (read in full...)
She cheated and I forgave her. Now she's doing it again. How do I deal with it?
Q. Hello, a year ago my gfriend cheated on me. We broke up for a short period then I forgave her. A year later, now, I discover she is still chatting online with the guy she cheated with. Frankly I want to dump her. It took me some stomach to take her...
A. 12 January 2011: Personally I will never trust my husband 100% again because he lied to me in the past about relationships with other women...
If you can't trust her (will you ever be able to trust her now?) it will not end well.
Children do much better in c... (read in full...)
I have no idea what to make of his behaviour
Q. A guy friend of mine, who i used to have a casual thing with about a year ago, has been acting really "odd" i guess you could call it. He has a girlfriend now, who he's been with about a year or so. Anyway, when he got with her i was devastated, i ...
A. 11 January 2011:
I know this type of guy... he needs to have his ego stroked by as many women as possible... now that you are not paying attention to him and pining after him he's playing with you to get you to come back to ego stroking for him... (read in full...)
He is verbally abusive, how do I get him to change his behaviour?
Q. Hi Whenever my bf gets angry i.e. like when i try to call him when he is at work or when he is busy, he verbally abuses me. He calls me names, if i have known that he is busy i would have never called him in the first place. We discussed a ...
A. 11 January 2011: abusers do not change.
he said he only abuses you when you irritate him. in his mind he's justified treating you badly.
Personally I would think very long and hard about wanting to attempt to change him. Why would he want to change when h... (read in full...)
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