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| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
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| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
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My boyfriend is acting ungratefully. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend asked me to buy him a expensive pair of shoes that I can not afford right now. I was straight up with him and told him that I couldn't afford them right now and his reply was that he never ask me for anything and if it was something ...
A. 7 April 2011: why did he ask YOU to buy him SHOES? ... (read in full...)
I'm itchy after sex. What could be the problem?
Q. Hi antys i got a problem here. Here it goes. A week ago i had sex with my boyfriend and of course we used protection but my problem is since that day i always feel like i could pee. I'm not itchy or what but i have this feeling is irritating me. I ...
A. 7 April 2011: sounds like a UTI. you need to go to the doctor and have a simple culture (you will give a urine sample there is no pain) if you have a UTI you will get antibiotics for now drink plenty of fluids esp blueberry or cranberry juice... if yo... (read in full...)
Girls, thoughts on chewing tobacco?
Q. Quick question for the girls on here. How much would it bother you if your guy dipped. By dip i mean used chewing tobacco. Enough to leave him or view him differently? What if you have been with him a while and you barely find out hes been dipping?...
A. 7 April 2011: in a word: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW kissing someone who smokes is like licking the inside of a dirty ashtray I would imagine it's worst with chew... and that whole spitting thing....... (read in full...)
Can your second love be your true love forever? Even if your young.
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year. He just started working everyday from 7-3:30 but has Sundays off. This has been difficult for me since im used to talking to him all day plus it’s been harder for us to get together. He try’s to ...
A. 7 April 2011: Honey it can be. My mom met my dad when she was 16. She married him at 19 and at 58 she died in his arms and he cried like a baby.... it happens. don't rush it... ... (read in full...)
Am I being cheap here and over-reacting? Or does my boyfriend not give me the respect that I deserve?
Q. Sorry this is going to be long; thank you in advance for reading and for your answers. I’ve been dating my bf for about 2 yrs now. He’s always been a little clingy and overbearing, but I attributed that to the fact that he’s had a disturbed childh...
A. 7 April 2011: you mean to tell me that in two years he's never paid for a date? I know if it was ME personally I'd be rethinking this relationship. My current bf makes less than I do. He pays for our meals. He gifts me things (to the point that I tell... (read in full...)
Do I still need to get checked for STD's?
Q. So, i had sex for the first time back in October of last year and haven't had sex since then. The guy had many sex partners before me. We used a condom, but i was wondering when i have a check up this week with my doctor should i ask for a STD ...
A. 7 April 2011: I get regular STD testing even with Safe sex practices. when you get a regular physical they draw blood for other tests... it's one or two more vials and it's not a big deal for that simple peace of mind... I am sure that if you practiced safe ... (read in full...)
Why is my face getting thinner?
Q. hey everyone, i have a health question my face is gettin skinnier, like many people telling me that its gone too skinny, my body is still the same but my face is like really small and it looks long coz there is almost no meat on it. could this be ...
A. 7 April 2011: if you were dieting to lose weight that's where you lost it from your face.... if you are concerned you are ill you need to see your doctor. I have lost a lot of weight.. I had NO control over where I lost it. at this point if i lose 2 or th... (read in full...)
Wife doesn't let me cum on her face. Isn't that something almost all girls do?
Q. My wife won't let me cum on her face, ever! As far as I know, almost all girls let their guys cum on their faces, and enjoy it too! but not mine. This really sucks, I feel really unwanted, how do I make her do it?...
A. 7 April 2011: UGH... I'm 51 and I want my man to cum inside me always. either in my mouth or some other orrifice... NOT ON me and NEVER on my face. that's a porn thing. why do you think cumming on her face makes you WANTED?... (read in full...)
I'm 26, she's 17, is it wrong to pursue a relationship?
Q. Im a 26 year old guy and iv recently been seeing a 17 year old girl, we have literally everything in common and get on so well. Been out on a few occasions and we both like eachother. Would it be wrong to ever start a relationship??...
A. 7 April 2011: EVER? no
NOW? Yes
in the USA legal adult is 18 I would wait until at least then
even still be prepared for flack.
I am 51 my bf is 37 I get flack all the time...
my friends swear i'm going to start trolling the high schools for ... (read in full...)
Do temptations make you a cheater even if you don't give into them?
Q. Do temptations make you a cheater even if you don't give into them? I am very in love with my girlfriend and we have been together since the beginning of 2010. A few months prior when we were "dating" I put myself in a very bad situation. We all ...
A. 6 April 2011: if folks that looked at an attractive person and thought "i'd hit that" were branded cheaters then everyone would probably be a cheater. Jimmy Carter, former US President once was quoted as saying "I have lusted in my heart" (or something li... (read in full...)
Men what is the right number of times to call?
Q. Men how often would you like for a woman, or your partner, to call you in a day or a week where you would not get aggravated when you two don't live in the same house. Thanks...
A. 6 April 2011: I am in a committed (newly committed) LDR so not only are we not living together we have no physical contact during the week.... when we just started we emailed not even daily when we started getting serious the emails became more frequent ... (read in full...)
He says girls leave him because hes too nice. Is that my cue to walk away?
Q. Hi everyone I am a african american female and I just started talking to a white/Caucasian male he's really nice and sweet but he tells me that girls leave him cause they say he's too nice should that be my cue to walk away now? We've only been ...
A. 6 April 2011: talking for a day and he told you he loves you?? THAT'S your cue to walk away not that the 'everyone leaves me because i'm too nice" statement... He's clingy He's needy Run Forest Run! ... (read in full...)
Sexual encounter btw an 18 yr and 25 yr? legal yes but is it ok?
Q. Thoughts on a recent high school graduate having sex with a 25 yo? Or a college sophomore dating a 26 yo? I know its legal but is it appropriate?...
A. 6 April 2011: define appropriate.... IF the two parties involved are both in agreement that it's a good thing I see no problem with it. 18 to 25 is only 7 years. Try 37 to 51. ... (read in full...)
Can a man truly love two women at once
Q. Question- can a man truly love 2 women at the same time? A little history- I am married so is he. We work for the same company but live in different states. We have fallen in love which is crazy I know. We have never been physical but have hun...
A. 6 April 2011: Yes ANYONE can love more than one at a time. I did. My husband could not deal with it and he left... but i was madly in love with my then husband and the man I was having a FWB relationship with. AND both of them knew it. I still love my hu... (read in full...)
Who answers the questions on this site?
Q. Hi Andew Not really sure how I got here virtually!!! Must be on a cloud? who is it that actually answers these questions people have? other users or do you have a staff of lisc. social workers, Ph.d's ect...who purse this site and chime in when th...
A. 6 April 2011: i am not a doctor i just play one on the internet just a bunch of regular folks with opinions... (read in full...)
Been cheating on wife with 3 girlfriends and 40 hookers
Q. Hi, I have been married 10 years to my wife who I love but she is very difficult to live with. I don't know if I am a nympho or what, but when she is not around I can masturbate up to 4 times a day. Also, when i have been away for work on many occ...
A. 6 April 2011: my only issues are 1. you LIE to your wife. LYING is reprehensible. MORE so than cheating in my book... you are a liar and not trustworthy 2. are you tested regularly for STDs? if not you put your wife who you claim to love at risk. 3.... (read in full...)
Will I be able to tolerate a brazilian wax?
Q. This is a pretty weird question for those women who wax their "areas"... I am terrified of waxing but I've developed this habit of plucking out my bikini line with tweezers.. I had an ingrown hair once and from then on I just started...I feel almost ...
A. 6 April 2011: I personally think tweezing hurts worse than waxing. take some advil or other NSAID before the procedure. EXfoliate a few days before and moisturize well constantly before and after.... I think waxing my eyebrows hurts worse than a bra... (read in full...)
I am desperately unhappy because I cant measure up to my boyfriend's ex and I just want to get out of this relationship so that I do not have to be compared to her...
Q. I am so so jealous of my partners ex. I dont know where to start but it just seems like she was better in every way. She was very good looking, she had a kid, guys were always hitting on her. She is now doing a great job that pays well and she is ...
A. 6 April 2011: I hate to break it to you but DULL and BORING is what real life is about. Most people would love a man who wanted to be with them day in and day out in the mundane daily crap of life. being in a comfort zone that feels safe and is trusting is w... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses? He's always oggling skinny young girls.
Q. I have been with my man for over a year now and we live together. He says I am beautiful but is always commenting how beautiful other women on TV are. He has even commented how beautiful his ex is. He knows this all hurts me because I have low self ...
A. 5 April 2011: I know I'm late answering this but I wanted to tell you I'm in a similar boat only I just laugh it off.
IF what he does makes you feel bad then you should leave.
My BF is younger than I am by over 13 years. He always looks at young tight firm... (read in full...)
Should I tell him when he give me butterflies?
Q. I was just wondering, do guys want to know when they are turning you on? Only because my boyfriend sometimes does this thing when he starts drawing on the back of my hand with his finger and then he sometimes runs his hand gently down my arm and it ...
A. 5 April 2011: I agree with Dataluke...
a sigh,
a look
a simple... "oh my"
sometimes "I like that" is enough
but some reaction is a good thing..
... (read in full...)
Dating two men, one of whom is married
Q. I'm dating two men at a time, the more caring one is a maried man nd d other one is stil single and has promised to marry me. I love them equaly. What shoud i do now?...
A. 5 April 2011: If you love them equally then the choice should be obvious.. the available one. ... (read in full...)
Did my dad over-react? And should I go all the way with my boyfriend?
Q. me and my bf are both 15 and in love and about a month ago my parents left and he came over. we were making-out then i gave him a bj, (we still had our clothes on, his pants were unzipped). then my dad walked in grabbed him by his neck and started ...
A. 5 April 2011: 1. dad was overly rough but did not over-react. he's a daddy and you are his little girl
2. if you have to ask if you should go all the way you should not.
my daughter was 15/16 when she slept with her first boyfriend.... later on after t... (read in full...)
Why he has changed from the incredible man I once spent hours with, to someone who treats me like I'm suddenly beneath them?
Q. Hi there, So I have this lovely relationship question that's bugging me. I realise my sarcasm isn't evident but now you know, I am being sarcastic. It is no way "Lovely." I hope this isn't too repetitive for you as I know there are many,man...
A. 5 April 2011: Is he married? or living with someone?
perhaps he wants no "paper trail" of his relationship with you?
I personally discount the whole AGE issue. my BF is 14 years younger than I am and we never stop talking or having stuff in common... age... (read in full...)
Does he wife really know or does he just want out?
Q. I am just wondering what people think because I can't figure this out. First of all, I know to many you are going to judge me and tell me it doesn't matter because I involved myself with a married man, but I do know it was wrong, I just want help in ...
A. 5 April 2011: I'm thinking he got busted. I'm thinking you are not going to get the closure you need and desire. IN MOST cases, when a cheating spouse gets caught the lover is cast aside in favor of saving the marriage if the cheated upon spouse is willing t... (read in full...)
What are your views on Cuddle Buddies? (Kiss, snuggle, cuddle, make out, no sex, no emotional feelings). Does it work?
Q. I want to know what your views are on cuddle buddies. Cuddle buddy is similar with friends with benefits but without the sex. Cuddle buddies do kiss, snuggle, cuddle, make out and many more. However, the feeling of love is just a detachment. Th...
A. 5 April 2011: I personally can not make out (kiss deeply) folks I am not attached to.... it would not work for me. I would fall in love... just like I did with my FWB...... (read in full...)
Girlfriend cheated on me and I can't get over it
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me months back and I can't seem to get over it. We were living together and things had started getting really rocky. We were fighting bitterly all day every day. I felt her distance herself from me, and rather than give...
A. 5 April 2011: my husband of 6 years just moved out. I did not stop him. Why? because of the fact that i can never trust him due to prior lies. If trust is gone, it's gone... I do not believe that trust can be rebuilt. At least not if it's been betrayed mo... (read in full...)
He has not had a job in the 9 years we have been together! Will he ever change?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 9 years, he never had a job in 9 years, only 2 times he had a job for like a month each job.. I m a dancer so more money is not necesary to live well, but it is necesary because all he cares about is to play ...
A. 5 April 2011: I would not marry him. He needs to pull his own weight financially Trust me from experience a man not pulling his weight financially will pull you down and wear on you and and eventualy it will errode the relationship.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to break up with her or should I save myself the heartache and just walk away?
Q. Met this guy over the summer. We clicked right away, but he has a long distance girlfriend. We start hanging out socially but he always flirts with me. I always remind him he has a girlfriend, but he is extremely persistent. Unfortunately Im ...
A. 5 April 2011: So many things i want to address here. 1. he's having his KATE and EDITH too (cake and eat it too).... and yes it's possible to love two at once. not easy and not acceptable in most places but possible. 2. he's LYING to her and CHEATING o... (read in full...)
Pregnant by an ex lover when I was supposed to be working on my marriage with my husband....what should I do?
Q. Well please dont judge me, I made an horrible bad decision, and im hurting trendmendously. Separated from husband over an year ago. Had sex with and ex lover and now Im pregnant. Husband and I were suppose to be working on us and I sliped up bad, ...
A. 5 April 2011: well you need to be honest with everyone. Husband, lover and yourself. WHAT do you want? do you want to make your marriage work? Perhaps you still can. Depending on what state you live in Caring Guy may be wrong about who is the legal fat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said to his friend he is not attracted to me and I have a fat ass!
Q. Found conversations between my bf and a friend of his. He was telling her how he really likes me and that i am one of the nicest people out. But he hates my ass. He thinks it is fat and is not attracted to it. He is horny as fuck but doesnt even ...
A. 5 April 2011: Sweetie... the bad news: He's just not that in to you... sadly.
I met my current boyfriend and I went after him for an FWB/NSA relationship. he was NOT that into me but like any single guy he was happy to take what he could get.
He told... (read in full...)
Why am I having a period right after I just had one?
Q. Hey there, I had my period about a week ago and now suddenly I have started another one. Today is when I started it April 3 2011. What does this mean?...
A. 5 April 2011: google is your friend hon, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakthrough_bleeding Breakthrough bleeding is an abnormal uterine bleeding that occurs between menstrual periods, especially due to irregular sloughing of the endometrium in women on comb... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a great guy in a LDR or look closer to home?
Q. I met a great guy while working in another city for 3 months and we started a relationship which we continued long distance for the past 6 months. He's wonderful, nothing wrong with him, and I love him but I feel I don't want to be in a LDR. I ...
A. 4 April 2011: Do you guys get to see each other now? how often. i doubt i could do an LDR if i could not see my partner often. We started out once a month we then said every other weekend. now we are every other weekend is 3 nights and alternative... (read in full...)
I masturbate...is this a sin?
Q. i am a christian that does masturbation all the time because my husband is away is this a sin? am i cheating on him i feel guilty when i finish how can i stop i need help pls...
A. 4 April 2011: I'm not a Christian. I do not think Masturbation is a sin. BUT if you have guilt then it's not good for you and you should figure out how to either stop it or get rid of the guilt. have you discussed with your husband?... (read in full...)
I don't think he will try anything. Is it okay for me to hang out with my 36 yr. old neighbor?
Q. I'm 16, and i've had a 'crush' on this guy that's 36/37 for a very long time, he used to be my neighbor however about 2 month ago he split from his wife for reasons that i still don't know of and he moved out and now has his own place. Anyway...
A. 4 April 2011: I think this is not a good idea.
why did he move out
if you want to meet him for say coffee or a soda at a PUBLIC place to just talk I can see that being ok
BUT NOT alone and NOT at his place.... (read in full...)
Confused that BF interrupted love making to use bathroom.
Q. Can someone explain this to me? Woke up when the alarm went off this morning, bf of 7 months was kissing my neck...so we ended up having sex, and kinda half way through, he stops and says "gotta go, baby"...I was like, "go where?" and he jumps out ...
A. 4 April 2011: i've seen errect men pee.... it can be done
when I wake in the morning and i'm in the mood.. PEEING comes first for all involved... ... (read in full...)
Why am I having a period right after I just had one?
Q. Hey there, I had my period about a week ago and now suddenly I have started another one. Today is when I started it April 3 2011. What does this mean?...
A. 4 April 2011: if you are that concerned call your doctor but it sounds much like breakthough bleeding...... (read in full...)
My husband is in a nursing home, is it wrong for me to want to go out with a man for a drink?
Q. I have been through a horrible two years with my husband who developed dementia and now is in a nursing home. We have had a very happy marraige and I miss him so much and have so much guilt about him being where he is although he is well cared for ...
A. 4 April 2011: Drinks are not wrong
Friends are not wrong.
Humans are NOT meant to be alone....
Somewhere a year or so ago here in the states I saw a news piece about a man who's wife was a famoous newcaster who now has dementia. He found "a lady friend" and... (read in full...)
Should I move away in the hopes of finding a partner?
Q. I have been single now for 18 months and I just don't meet any potential partners anywhere. I can't even get a date using online dating and with the net the rsponse is always because I don't want kids and there seem to be very few women in their ...
A. 4 April 2011: ah but have YOU asked her?
I would deny deny deny to friends who were fishing for info.
how do you feel about your female best friend?... (read in full...)
Awkward silences and lulls..are they ok?
Q. dear cupid, soo, i've been talking to this guy for a little over a week now, and we've been getting REALLY well. we've already hung out several times, and every time has been absolutely AWESOME. we text every day as often as we can, and that's ...
A. 4 April 2011: I agree with Dirtball... you do not have to talk talk talk every minute you are together... sometimes just sitting... and being is nice.... (read in full...)
She wont tell anyone we are together, after 4 years! What should I do?
Q. Been with my girlfriend 4 years, and she still wont tell anyone about us. She says people know because they are not stupid and they guessed about us, but when they ask her about me she denies we are dating. All my family and friends know abo...
A. 4 April 2011: I'm sorry but I think if a person is dating you they should be happy to share it with their family and friends. If they hide you away it does not bode well for the relationship. If after 4 years you are not getting on all that well I doubt tim... (read in full...)
Please help me understand this relationship/breakup
Q. We went out for 5 weeks straight. It was steady and consistent. He acted like we were together. He told me he was "falling" for me. He said things like, "I'm glad I found you." Things were so good that I never wondered where we stood or how he felt ...
A. 4 April 2011: 5 WEEKS is not a long period of time to expect someone to know they want FOREVER or even exclusive.... I can't say I blame him for being gun shy after you jumped the gun and made assumptions without asking him about it... what is he looking f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said to his friend he is not attracted to me and I have a fat ass!
Q. Found conversations between my bf and a friend of his. He was telling her how he really likes me and that i am one of the nicest people out. But he hates my ass. He thinks it is fat and is not attracted to it. He is horny as fuck but doesnt even ...
A. 4 April 2011: I'm sorry I can't see for one second how this is your fault. So he doesn't like your ass. Big deal. He likes YOU right? 30 years from now will it matter? DO NOT blame YOURSELF for his taste. IF you are that concerned you can ask h... (read in full...)
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