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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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How do I tell my b/f of 1 week that I'd prefer he didn't take drugs?
Q. Hi there, Me and my boyfriend (who have been together for just over a week now)have really fallen deeply for each other. We get on so well, have the same sense of humour, music tastes, etc..almost everything I've ever wanted in man I've found i...
A. 15 October 2012: You have the same interests together but he is doing something illegal. He has this habit before meeting you. It would be hard for him to break it without breaking your relationship. Drugs are potent. His brain still gets affected even when used ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend never compliments me, says he finds this difficult?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly four years and we have a generally happy relationship. However, besides some initial efforts when we very first begun dating, he has never really complimented me. I'm sure he must like some things about me ...
A. 15 October 2012: I would find it difficult because I never heard enough compliments from my own parents. The only people who would compliment me are my extended family I didn't feel close to. I also felt that my extended family would compliment me just to be polite ... (read in full...)
Can I forgive my girlfriend for not supporting me when I was at the lowest point in my life?
Q. I was bereaved 15 weeks ago. My son died in a fatal car crash. My girlfriend and i had a petty row and she walked out on me. I asked her not to go because i had shouted at her. I was bang out of order. My emotions were all over and i was dreading my ...
A. 14 October 2012: You can feel more alone with the wrong person. She lacks the sensitivity to a person in distress. She doesn't understand why a person has to grieve. This is more than just lifestyle incompatability. She is selfish and only wants things to go her ... (read in full...)
How to understand your man !!
Q. Why is it, that it seems men just dont get women. Dont get me wrong both sexes can be just as bad as each other but however men seem so thoughtless. I for instance will make sure that my man is looked after has what he needs and i never have him ...
A. 14 October 2012: It is something to be left alone. You think that doing little things is what makes him feel loved, but actually it is what makes you feel loved. He is doing things for you that he thinks it's right and proper but in reality it's only his idea of ... (read in full...)
Everything is going perfect, but can a womanizer really change?
Q. I met this guy who's very famous in my country. He's not just famous for his work, he is also very famous as a womanizer. I'm a commitment-phobic myself, but I never felt attracted to womanizers. We me while ago, through a common friend (one of h...
A. 14 October 2012: His career makes it hard for him to stay away from temptations. What you have is sexual chemistry. I know that feeling that keeps on telling you you just have to try him out. If we tell you the answers, only 20% of womanizers can change, or 50% can ... (read in full...)
He went out of my life after he started dating a girl. Why does losing him bother me so much?
Q. This guy at work and I became great friends. I think that he was slightly attracted to me but never said anything because I was dating. When he started dating a girl, he just disappeared. And it's been almost a year. It really bothers me that we'r...
A. 14 October 2012: You are used to the attention he gives you and suddenly it's gone. You feel sad that men and women can't really be friends. ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my ex's finance over her actions whenever my ex visits his son? Is she jealous or insecure?
Q. Hello cupids! Some help here would be appreciated. I have an 8 week old son with my ex. I left him when i was 3 months pregnant because he cheated, and i was confronted by the "other woman". At the time he had been with her we were not serious...
A. 14 October 2012: Your fiance needs a backbone. That controlling woman knows that he does not love her. He could be doing everything, buying a ring, attending to her, but she could not feel his heart. She feels that you are a threat to her happiness. I believe your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends depressed and acting very different towards me. is it his depression causing this or me?!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together happily for about 8 months. however the past couple months havent been so great. when my boyfriend and i first met we both had our own apartments. shortly after we started dating i moved out of my apartment and ...
A. 14 October 2012: I don't think it's the house. I would say that his depression is caused by money troubles. I remember when I was depressed I felt like everything was wrong, the environment, the food, I became hypochodriac until the school nurse asked me if I was ... (read in full...)
If I marry her will I have to help out her family too?
Q. i have a Filipino girlfriend who's about 13 years younger here in the US. very worried about if i marry her , will her family also expect me to help them out financially? I've read thing that Filipino love to "show off" material things and such. a...
A. 14 October 2012: You don't have to do anything. When you are ready for the next step and see a long term in her, don't be afraid to straight out ask her what her expectations are. If you are considering this already it means you know her long enough, you know ... (read in full...)
Truly? Why would a girl get scared off if a guy has never had a girlfriend before?
Q. While dating and having much difficulty landing a real relationship, I've noticed that many women avoid getting into a serious relationship with a guy who never had a girlfriend before. Why is that? I don't want to lie because I am very honest,...
A. 14 October 2012: It's the way you say it. If you say "I haven't done a lot of dating. Haven't met the right one yet." It's better than saying "the longest relationship I've had is one month." because it makes women think that you can't commit. They won't think for ... (read in full...)
Do I stay or go? Our relationship is one sided and there is no sex. Even though sex isn't everything
Q. Ok so been seeing this girl for 7 months first as a friend. I asked her out after 2 months. She said she needed to talk to her brother to ask if it was ok but she never did ask. After 3 months of hanging out we finally had sex Then one night wh...
A. 13 October 2012: It's hard to believe a 24 year old needs to talk to her brother about having a relationship. There is something she is not telling you, and I am guessing she is not mentally fit to be in a relationship. It's like she regressed into childhood and ... (read in full...)
If I share some secrets with her will it be the right thing to do, or will it freak her out? And what should I do about my depression?
Q. So I have this thing where I feel like I need to completely share myself with my girlfriend. I want to so desperately, but there are some things deep down that I just can't bring myself to share, for fear of judgement or complications in the rela...
A. 13 October 2012: You are making "normal" to be a rigid definition 100% heterosexuality and that children are totally sexless and uninterested in sexual organs. I masturbated at the age of 6 and I never thought that was something to be ashamed about. Presexualization ... (read in full...)
Do you think this guy likes me? Or is just being nice?. I'm curious to know more about him
Q. So, last week was my sister's birthday. She loves to collect CDs, so I went to buy her a few from this music store. When I walked in, it was a pretty classy place, actually. And I saw this really cute guy working there. He asked if he could help m...
A. 13 October 2012: Being nice will get him business. His goal for the day is to sell as many CDs as possible. Go look him up on Facebook. What's the harm? ... (read in full...)
Do some people throw away their real relationship for the sake of online affairs?
Q. I am wondering after ending a relationship due to his compulsive cyber cheating, whether it can be seen as something addictive. I have noticed a lot of questions on here about it. Do some people throw away their real relationship for the sake of ...
A. 13 October 2012: A person in a real relationship would not want to seek online affairs. It's only fun for him when it's secretive, so he doesn't want you to go otherwise he would see how empty is life is. When you let him go so that he is free to pursue others, he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother is undermining my relationship with my Bf. I know she's ill,but why does she do this?
Q. Hi everybody, My boyfriend of 4 years has been nothing but wonderful to me,but things went upside down since last 4 months.. My boyfriend's mother lives with us,the reason being she's really ill and needs supervision..but I think she doesn't like...
A. 13 October 2012: You are young, beautiful, capable while she feels old, sick and useless. It's hard to appreciate you when she feels like a burden to your lives. You don't need her approval. Treat her as a fragile being. If you can keep up with taking care of her ... (read in full...)
Advice on how to stop worrying over someone's sexual past?
Q. Okay so for those of you who are going to say "get over it" or "the past is the past" please dont bother. For the rest of you here is the problem. I am a virgin, i have only ever kissed(by kissed i mean a peck that lasted 1 second) a girl before, ...
A. 13 October 2012: So if a girl never had a kiss even on the face she should be bothered that you had a 1 second peck, and that if you decide to kiss her for 1 second it won't mean anything since you had that experience?... (read in full...)
Pregnant but still having an affair - please help!?
Q. I know I will be judged for this but I don't have anyone or anywhere to go with this one. I'm 6 months pregnant with my husband. Just before I got pregnant, I left my husband. Things had been bad for a while and I was falling for another man. ...
A. 13 October 2012: There won't be hard feelings. I don't even think you need an explanation. Just be distant and he will get the hint. He knows it won't go anywhere because once the baby is born you will mostly be at home. He wanted some warm attention that he's not ... (read in full...)
Marraige for 5years but we don't have sex
Q. I have been married for 5 years.My wife has a degree in bussines adminstration and i have a diploma in social work.The last one year i have suffered insults from her.I work on voluntary for a certain NGO in lusaka and they pay me 2million as a...
A. 13 October 2012: I looked at your country's currency. It's really not much but you got to start somewhere. She wants a trophy husband and is concerned about what others think. She can't just take your child. She's verbally abusive. Even if you land a job in the ... (read in full...)
Since I started uni I've really started resenting my boyfriend. Is it just the transition, or more than that?
Q. So, I've just started university a few weeks ago and it's turned my life upside down. I'd say I'm sad and it's all too much, but in a sense I feel like rather than turning my life on its head, it's simply brought more things into clear light for ...
A. 13 October 2012: He wants out but at the same time keeping you in case his other dates don't work out. He also doesn't like the fact that you will pick a better man than him, hence the control. The negativity is also used to punish you should you think about leaving ... (read in full...)
Anxious/preoccupied - has she lost interest already?
Q. I have been with this awesome girl for six months. We share a lot of interests and especially in the beginning had a sparking, romantically and sexually intense and wonderful relationship. We basically spent every day together. Over time, she has ...
A. 12 October 2012: The psychology article you read is meant to be a guideline and you should never label yourself as anything. You are only are needy as your unmet needs. In my last relationship I was insecure/paranoid because my ex was on and off and playing with my ... (read in full...)
I don’t think I can ever respect another woman again.
Q. Right now my brain is the midst of a battle...Why? It’s because I’m somehow beginning to see women in a completely different light than I did before. Long story short, Wednesday at work, the topic of women came up. In my office there are 3 guys and...
A. 12 October 2012: If this question appears on an anonymous survey, you will get different answers. Everyone just picked the safest answer and this question is made by a man with an agenda to expression frustration towards the opposite sex. I don't think you need to ... (read in full...)
In an unhappy marriage and feel very sad and trapped. Please help.
Q. Help. My husband never allows me to get angry and express my self. He will threaten me with divorce and tells me i am inconveniencing him by causing problems. I bottle up my feelings for fear of his harsh words. I am always sacrificing for him and ...
A. 12 October 2012: I don't think he actually wants you to shut up and suppress your emotions. You should be able to express your self, but do so gently. Frustration and sadness are better than anger. Feeling angry is still okay but try not to express anger. Asking for ... (read in full...)
I am jealous and insecure of his female friend
Q. Hello. I'm in my first serious relationship. I've found some aspects of it hard, such as learning to trust my boyfriend, learning not to worry about things, learning to be confident and so on. I must stress that I have come a very long way in thes...
A. 12 October 2012: She lives a distance away so they don't meet often. You have to believe in yourself and bring out your good qualities. About admiration, it's different in men and women. What a woman wants in a man is different from what a man wants in a woman. A ... (read in full...)
I'm Taken. So How Can I Stop Liking This Guy and just stay as Friends?
Q. Here's some background info: Both me and the new Guy, J are taken separately. We both knew each other about a year ago, and right now we're both in a serious relationship with our significant others. The first time we knew each other, I was ...
A. 12 October 2012: Why must you and J be friends really? You have known each other for a year, it's not like you are childhood friends. Focus on your relationship with your boyfriend and detach yourself from J, to the point that you are not daydreaming about him ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him and start over? I don't know what to do or where to start
Q. My boyfriend is Italian and I'm from the UK. We have been together 4 years. I gave up everything and moved to Italy so we could be together. We are practically married and often talk about starting a family. Things were good for the first couple of ...
A. 11 October 2012: It's not necessarily that he is cheating. Some people are wired to get bored with the same partner every day, while some luckier ones are able to maintain a decent sex life. It doesn't mean he no longer loves you. You said you are practically ... (read in full...)
Why has she gone cold all of a sudden?
Q. I have been seeing this girl on and off since August, she is 27, and in 34. We hit it off straight away and get along really well. We started off casual dating, going to the cinema, meals out, walks ect. We both work full time, and both have quite ...
A. 9 October 2012: You are still playing games. She doesn't want a relationship but she still likes the attention and that you are pursuing her. If someone said to me he likes me because I give him space, I will be done with him because I am so much more than my ... (read in full...)
How do I get my gf of ten months to open up to me again after I asked her not to?
Q. Okay, so I've been with my gf for ten months now. I love her honesty, she's type to say what's on her mind without being disrespectful or rude. She'll simply let you know her truth and I used to love that. If she says she doesn't like something o...
A. 8 October 2012: She just wants to be right doesn't she? Sensitivity has to be developped. Give her an example, like clothing. If I wear something too tight and my belly is showing, rather than saying I look ugly, my boyfriend could start with "you have a great ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had sex with 100 girls. Am I just the next one in line?
Q. My boyfriend confessed to having nearly 100 past sexual partners. I'm still a virgin, which makes it a shocker for me. He told me that before he turned 21 (his bday is next month) he wanted to go above 100, but said he would stop at me. He wanted me ...
A. 8 October 2012: He sounds weird. How does he keep track of the number if he didn't write their names all down in a diary, #31, with feelings, #87 no feelings. I will be weirded out by him. I would opt out by being lucky number 100. And he's saying this like you ... (read in full...)
Do I call off the engagement because I don't want to marry?
Q. So, I need some advice after accepting my bf's marraige proposal because I'm not sure if I've made a bad decision :( Been together 2 years, he's been pushing to live together for 1 year, I've held off til the last few months and now feel ready t...
A. 8 October 2012: The marriage benefits him more than it benefits you. Even if you don't get married, you still share financial responsibilities together once you become common law. You have to check with your city to see what the law looks like so you can protect ... (read in full...)
Why has she gone cold all of a sudden?
Q. I have been seeing this girl on and off since August, she is 27, and in 34. We hit it off straight away and get along really well. We started off casual dating, going to the cinema, meals out, walks ect. We both work full time, and both have quite ...
A. 8 October 2012: I would say your schedules don't match and she doesn't know for how long she has to do this commuting back and forth and then missing you in between. You mentioned that this is an on and off thing. With a high sex drive like yours she probably won't ... (read in full...)
How should I go about telling him how I feel without being pushy about it?
Q. This is a long distance situation.We have known each other for almost a year and we went on a date about a month ago. In the beginning when we met, I was vocal about wanting to talk to him on the phone and he said he'd call but it never happened. ...
A. 8 October 2012: He doesn't want to talk on the phone because he has no intention to carry this further. Texting is not enough to satisfy anybody. Your expectations are higher than his. Telling a guy how you feel only works when the guy cares about how you feel. ... (read in full...)
We've went on dates I really like him but he told a woman on facebook he loved her after she said it to him!
Q. There's a guy I went on a few dates with and I like him very much. I feel like we are a good match and he does indeed seem into me, only thing is our distance is definitely a challenge. We are friends on Facebook and for some reason, ALL of his ...
A. 8 October 2012: I would tell him I saw the facebook exchanges and feel like I can't open up to him anymore. Plus the distance makes it difficult for you to sustain anything real, and that you are considering ending it. ... (read in full...)
I was given an ultimatum by 2 men. Which do I choose?
Q. I am in love with two men at the same time. Yes, it IS possible. I have been putting myself under great stress because I've been unable to choose which one I ought to stay with and whom I should let go. I am very compatible with one man and we h...
A. 8 October 2012: You can ditch both of them. The only right guy for you is the one which your mind and heart will unite together and say yes. No need to settle. Start with a clean slate so your new man doesn't have to hear about you being torn with a choice, because ... (read in full...)
He treats me like a girlfriend despite insisting he didn't want a relationship
Q. Is it possible to be seeing a man who actually does not want to see you happy? I have been dating this man for awhile now who I believe is emotionally confused. We are not an "official" couple and he claims to not want to be one. However, he has a...
A. 8 October 2012: Because it's hard to believe why a man would subtly tell a woman, "hey you are not long term material, but you are good enough to be my show girlfriend for now." No woman likes to think that she is being used, and it's a more pleasant thing to ... (read in full...)
He treats me like a girlfriend despite insisting he didn't want a relationship
Q. Is it possible to be seeing a man who actually does not want to see you happy? I have been dating this man for awhile now who I believe is emotionally confused. We are not an "official" couple and he claims to not want to be one. However, he has a...
A. 8 October 2012: It's possible that you won't get hurt, but I don't see what you are gaining by continuing to seeing him. Maybe he is showing you off to family members to silence them because they keep on pestering him to find a girlfriend. Secretly he may never ... (read in full...)
How do I explain my severe PMS/PMDD to the guy I'm dating?
Q. I've been dating this amazing guy since the end of July. Things have been great and each time we see each other, things for the most part just keep getting better and better. 2 times during our short lived relationship (1 each month), I have t...
A. 8 October 2012: Your post shows that you care about your boyfriend very much, but he doesn't know that. I don't know how much you are contacting him but next time if you have a chance of meeting up with him, do something light and fun, let him see that you are ... (read in full...)
I don't like her past and think she lies to spare my feelings
Q. help me, am a guy and am having a really hard time with my gf past she recently confessed she has been with 20 man from the time she was 20 to 26 and its really bothering me i feel so desperate and bothered by the fact has given herself to all these ...
A. 8 October 2012: I think women who talk about details of their past proudfully do so not because it's something to confess about, they do that because deep down inside they are insecure too so by bragging about their pasts they are expressing how desired they are by ... (read in full...)
What makes her seem sexier now that I know she's a virgin?
Q. Men help me out here, I don't know why I find the girl i'm seeing sexier after she told me she was still a virgin! It's strange that she's now a lot more attractive to me than before, sure before I liked her a lot and found her so beautiful, but now ...
A. 8 October 2012: Virgins are sexy because your experience with her will be so fresh and she will appreciate everything you do and feel special. She will be more likely to be attached to you than girls who give themselves freely to guys. You also like that she is ... (read in full...)
How do I tell a girl how I feel about her?
Q. I really like this girl, who happens to be the daughter of my dad's workmate. I first met her about this time last year and have met her again since. Both times, she left me with the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I felt awkward about ...
A. 8 October 2012: It's normal to feel like this because of your hormones. Starting from age eleven I would have butterfly feelings towards male teachers, hairdressers, etc. I would flip through my brother's school album looking for handsome boys. It's too early to ... (read in full...)
I need a man's opinion on the behavior of my boyfriend.
Q. Hi There, I wondered if any guys would help me with this problem. My boy friend if 1 year has issues due to his disability, therefore he has trust issues. He pushes me away sometimes and I stay in the background and let him know that i'm still there ...
A. 8 October 2012: He does want a romantic relationship, but only when he feels well and the woman can tolerate having intimacy only once in a while. When you mention platonic friends, and having your stuff back it means you are terminating the romance. You are free ... (read in full...)
I have a great g/f but I'm bored. Do I keep her or let her go?
Q. Here's the Story. I'v been With this girl for almost 2 years, And she treats me better then gold and It's hard to find a girl that good. but must have gotten bored and my gf isn't big but she has curves I like thin in shape girls. Her sister i...
A. 8 October 2012: I know she treats you like gold, but this is not something you value, you value excitement, thrill of the chase and young thin bodies. I don't think you can have the cake and eat it too. She might agree to an open relationship right now but this is ... (read in full...)
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