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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Boyfriend has trust & insecurity issues and broke up with me for no reason. I'm so hurt and confused ....
Q. Last night my boyfriend broke up wit me via text. He accused me of shopping for some attention. I went out shopping yesterday and he said that I was looking for some attention and I absolutely was not. He said that he can't trust me. He has trus...
A. 23 December 2012: One of the hardest thing to move on from is the knowledge that the other person did not really love you all this time. A person who loves you will not break up with no good reason. You will be upset over time wasted and that you hoped for better ... (read in full...)
When I want sex he says no, when he wants sex its a different story
Q. been with fiancee for almost 3 years. i had him wait to have sex for 8months when i decided to loose my virginity. i know how he use to be in the past he would have sex with every girl he met. we got together and that all changed it was jsut me he ...
A. 23 December 2012: I would also add that the chase is over and he doesn't want to keep his prize. There isn't good communication here. You are not connecting anymore after you ask him for reality for this relationship. There is nothing more real than the marriage and ... (read in full...)
My depression is getting in the way of my life!
Q. hey , im 19 still a virgin and have allways been very shy and not very confident, couple years ago got a new outgoing job and my confidence is looooads better, family have commented on it and so have my work mates, how ive 'come out of my shell' n ...
A. 23 December 2012: You had been relying too much on a woman to escape from your feelings of loneliness. Women can sense high maintenance from you and want to run from that burden. You can be with the most attentive woman and that emptiness will not go away. Sooner or ... (read in full...)
When I want sex he says no, when he wants sex its a different story
Q. been with fiancee for almost 3 years. i had him wait to have sex for 8months when i decided to loose my virginity. i know how he use to be in the past he would have sex with every girl he met. we got together and that all changed it was jsut me he ...
A. 23 December 2012: When you first had sex it lasted longer and it was about intimacy and curiously sharing bodies and mind. Now it's about control and withholding as a form of punishment. For you it is about procreation also. I read that when a guy cums too fast when ... (read in full...)
I screwed up with the girl I really like!
Q. Ok, so there is this girl that goes to my school that I really like, and I think she likes me back for a while too. But recently, I asked her to smoke weed with me and she agreed( it was her first time), and now it seems like she hates me, she has ...
A. 23 December 2012: Apparently you screwed up by asking her to smoke weed, which is illegal in Canada. She was curious but soon find out it was a mistake. She doesn't hate you. She hated the fact that she gave in to peer pressure and wasn't able to say no. Maybe she ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to marry me, but I now have a child with another man
Q. I am a fe male of 22 years old.I dated my ex for about 7 years and during that period of seven years we have been breaking up and we were managing resolve our issues,2 years back i met this other guy which i dated for three years and now we have a ...
A. 22 December 2012: Baby father is abusive, so marriage is not going to change that. Your ex wants to be the hero and protect you from the mess. I always hear people wanting to get married when they are really not ready for the responsibility. One of the motivations to ... (read in full...)
She told me to date other women. Trying to forget her but it's hard. Any advice?
Q. So I met this single mom from a dating website. Things were going great. Until I began to be unsure about dating her. I thought she would be better off dating someone that was on her level(career wise, ect.). She replied to me by saying "I'm not ...
A. 22 December 2012: Women who have issues with men, like being afraid of them, feel more comfortable with younger men they can control. That's why she even talked to you at the first place. Career has nothing to do with it. Everything has to be casual, at her pace, on ... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend owes me money, but is pregnant with another man. What do I do?
Q. I apologize in advance if this is lengthy. I'm 22 years old. I dated a girl for three years who is the same age. We lived together for the majority of that time, however the last eight months of the relationship was very rocky. Sex was a rarity...
A. 20 December 2012: If you are living in a one bedroom apartment, then it's impossible to look for a roommate. You could talk to your landlord about your situation and see if you could move out and let him keep the security deposit. Then move to a place you could ... (read in full...)
Her kids are treating me like a Dad.. But I don't see this relationship as being forever. Am I looking into this situation too much?
Q. Soooo im just gonna get straight to the point here. I met a girl about 5-6 months ago, went on a few dates and we got on very well. About a month into seeing her she tells me she has 3 kids, 4, 6 and 8. Now at the time this didnt bother me, ive...
A. 18 December 2012: Kids really put you to the test, whether you are real or not. When you said you don't mind single moms you meant for the time being she is good companion. When single moms ask you to meet kids it usually means they are interested in long term, and ... (read in full...)
Ladies: questions about sex on the first date.
Q. I would like to know two quick things about women ************************************ 1) how often do women have sex on the first date, If you have had sex on the first date... 2) what does it take for you to have sex on the first date?...
A. 16 December 2012: A lot of the times, the men don't want to have sex on the first date and us ladies have absolutely no problems with that. It does not take me much to have sex. For most women they will have a problem with it. If you suggest going to your place and ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be alone, but I can't be on my toes anymore!
Q. I'm sorry if this is So long, it is both a rant and a request for advise. Let me start by saying I love my wife very much, and she is the most important thing in the world to me after my kids. I truly believe she is my soulmate. She was also my ...
A. 16 December 2012: You are in a codependent relationship. Her background has taught her that to get what she wants she has to use manipulative, fear inducing tactics. Her verbal abuse is to keep your self confidence low so you will continue to provide for her ... (read in full...)
Mixed messages from tutor whose behaviour towards me keeps changing. This is the most confusing situation I have ever been in, can you help me figure out what on earth is going on?
Q. Apologies for the really long length of this but I have a question regarding on/off 'mixed message' behaviour going on over a long period of time. I've asked about this before but would like an update please! Please don't judge me as obsessive, ...
A. 16 December 2012: He flirts with you because it feels good to have a woman like him. He will not pursue anything with you either because he doesn't know yet he will eventually divorce his wife, and/or dating students even ex students does not feel right. When he ... (read in full...)
FWB occasionally over si years .What did I do to turn him off so fast? And why build up expectations?
Q. I have a guy who was a friend for a while and became a fwb about 6 years ago. We only would see eachother when not in relationships. I was fine and he was fine and although we have always been attracted to each other, our jobs are different an...
A. 16 December 2012: He just wants you to fall in love with him. With emotionally unavailable people, the colder you are with them, the more they try to lure you in. If you want to continue to have mind blowing sex with him, ignore him, treat him like a sex object. He ... (read in full...)
I'm so confused with my crush. Does he like me or not?
Q. I have this really big crush on this guy for about a year. We belong to a music organization in our college and he gives me free violin lessons twice a week for about 4 months now. Just last night, I finally had the courage to tell him how i feel. ...
A. 15 December 2012: He is shy to make a move, and he is shyer to reject someone. It takes just as much gut to reject as to make a move. When he told you about people who liked him and he acted like nothing happened, he is giving you a sign that he does not like you ... (read in full...)
Is he burdened by the fact that I like him? Does he feel responsible? Or does he have feelings for me?
Q. So I've been in love for a long long time now. And he knows, he doesn't feel the same, which is cool, I'm happy if he's happy. A couple years back, I kissed him. He kissed me back but I was naive enough to think that he liked me back. I am gett...
A. 15 December 2012: I actually see that you are not expecting a relationship, you are just happy with having a crush. He is the source of your imagination. Your teacher is too nosy and unprofessional. When I get crushed on, it brings me mixed feelings. I am flattered ... (read in full...)
Is this normal male behaviour or is he being overly possessive?
Q. My boyfriend and I are on holiday, staying in my friend's apartment. She and her boyfriend live here. My boyfriend got upset with me last night as I came to bed in my pyjamas and he said the top was see-through and he hoped I wasn't letting N (the ...
A. 15 December 2012: This is not normal. It's not something that causes an argument. He could have requested you to wear a sweater if you wanted to go into the living room to hangout with the other two. He wanted to start an argument out of somewhere. He didn't want to ... (read in full...)
We have a 7 month old son together. How do I turn my broken relationship around?
Q. How do I turn my relationship around? I really need some positive advice right now. My boyfriend and I have a 7 month old son now and have been together for two years. I grew up in a very abusive environment and he grew up on the streets. ...
A. 15 December 2012: A person's needs has a structure and before certain needs are fulfilled he won't be able to channel his energy into something more creative. All he has time for his survival and time to unwind. Right now his energy is so low at home that he does not ... (read in full...)
Thoughts regarding retrograde jealousy....is a person's past really not any of the current relationship's business?
Q. An observation from a straight guy: I CALL BULLSHIT on people who claim that lovers are not accountable for how their sexual past is non of their current relationship's business. What if you only ever had one girlfriend, and before she met y...
A. 14 December 2012: Is a person's past really not any of the current relationship's business?
For you, it is. For the sake of a healthy marriage, it is advised that you let the past go. After you get married and exchanged your vows, your question came a little too late... (read in full...)
I don't want to appear desperate but I don't want to discourage him either. How do I do this?
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months.He was the most wonderful boyfriend a girl could have.Did the nicest most special things for me. We are in college. Recently he suffered a terrible loss and I guess I was suffocating him. He ...
A. 13 December 2012: Well, basically, the perfect woman is unpredictable, has no social life, puts up with the push/pull emotional bullshit, gets lost when a guy needs space, gets sucked back in a relationship when he misses you, and endlessly patient with uncertainty, ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband into this kind of disgusting porn?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. I have always been aware that he watched porn (before marriage). The first time I found a video I threw it away, and I didn't say anything to him about it and neither did he. Needless to say he got ...
A. 12 December 2012: My belief is that when people decide to spice things up in sex, they go into it with a playfulness mindset, they are consensual and if at any point it becomes uncomfortable one has to stop. There are many varieties in porn. There are willing ... (read in full...)
Why did he end it? I am confused!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been feeling incredibly confused and feel that I need some advice before I can let this go.. Im 29 and the guy in question is 26.. we dated for only 3 weeks. He is quite an introvert and definitely not the player type. The...
A. 12 December 2012: He does not feel worthy of love because he can't satisfy you in bed. The problem goes beyond nervousness. It could be psychological as well. I am betting that if you stick with him for long he will still cum too soon. He ended it before you could do ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband into this kind of disgusting porn?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. I have always been aware that he watched porn (before marriage). The first time I found a video I threw it away, and I didn't say anything to him about it and neither did he. Needless to say he got ...
A. 11 December 2012: Rape fantasy is a common one. Some women have it too and would like to role play in real life. They like the passion and the adrenaline rush. Your husband sees that this is not your thing and does not expect you to like it. He does not have to hide ... (read in full...)
Took DearCupid's advice and now I don't know what to do
Q. I posted a question on this site a few weeks ago, and I took the advice of the helpful aunts and wanted some help out of a situation I've caused for myself. http://www.dea...
A. 11 December 2012: You don't have to do anything. The girl will grow up and realize that not all flirting leads to something serious. If she keeps contacting you, just tell her you are not looking for a relationship right now. ... (read in full...)
Could I make something happen with this crush of mine?
Q. hello, just wondering if you can give me some tips please, and a bit of advice with girl issues, i will try make it as short as possible basicly i havent had a lot of girlfriends so im not really that experienced, i had my first 'girlfriend' whe...
A. 11 December 2012: You are both single but she has a status with one guy? What is it?
She is very popular and I think other guys were quicker than you. They don't care for anything serious and she was easy to them. You on the other hand want to take it slow beca... (read in full...)
Should I allow my boyfriend to do something sexually that I'm not comfortable with?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year keeps asking me to let him cum on my face... We've done literally everything else and I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do. He just won't leave me alone about it. I think I would feel really disgusting and ...
A. 11 December 2012: Facial cumshots are about domination. You simply don't feel submissive to him, that's understandable because you are older than him. I doubt that he wants to be superior to you either. It's just because it's in porn he wants to try it and see how it ... (read in full...)
Why is he distancing himself?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year. For the last month or two he's become distant. We don't have sex anymore except on "special occasions". Whenever we're together he constantly has his head in his phone or he's "tired" ...
A. 4 December 2012: He doesn't want to get attached himself for the fear of abandonment. Some people project feelings they don't want to acknowledge onto other people. They go through a cycle of attaching and detaching, making sure they don't go too far and lose ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend bisexual if he's had multiple homosexual relations in the past but claims he doesn't like men?
Q. I'm a woman. My 33 year old boyfriend of 6 months recently admitted to me that when he was a preteen, him and 2 if his best friends would masturbate together, rub on each other and give each other oral. This happened for over a year. He also just ...
A. 4 December 2012: You should worry more about his insecurity and being clingy. What is the real purpose of sharing his supposedly shameful, taboo experience with you, only to tell you he is not homosexual at all? I would say he is creating insecurity with you, to ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my boyfriend's best friend who is also my ex!
Q. so me and my boyfriend,vince have been dating for almost 3 weeks now, but i'm starting to fall for his best friend,zack! however, this isn't the only problem... my boyfriends best friend is also my ex-boyfriend! Me zack (my ex-boyfriend) dated for ...
A. 3 December 2012: It's very challenging for Zack and Vince to be friends. I wonder how they do it. Since you didn't have long relationships with either one, your feelings couldn't be that strong. You are heading towards a triangular mess, more complicated because the ... (read in full...)
How do you know if your're fighting for love or just plain fooling your self?
Q. Dear cupid, How do you know if your're fighting for love or just plain fooling your self. I split from my bf 8 months ago and we have not spoken since. We we were together 2 years, he was the first guy i loved, i freaked because of the break up....
A. 3 December 2012: You are broken up. When you see him he is just somebody you used to know returning your stuff. He has no power over you, making you want to go back to him. He can't make you feel anything. There is no point fighting for a man who hurt you so much. ... (read in full...)
My child's father treated me badly but wants another chance, but I'm with someone new! What should I do?
Q. i got involved with a guy in the university and in our final year i got pregnant and asked me to abort and i refused by then i was 29years of age so i told my mum about it an she called him to asked if he knew i was pregnant for him,accepted and ...
A. 30 November 2012: I think it's too late. He had his chance to be a father and boyfriend to you but he chose to meet someone new. He's asking for another chance, only after you are dating a nice guy. Has he declared himself to be totally single? I think he wants you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has lent an ex-girlfriend £200 of our joint money and she hasn't paid a penny back
Q. My boyfrind of just over 2 years has just lent an ex-girlfriend £200 of our joint money. This was 6 weeks ago now and she hasn't paid a penny back. I reluctantly agreed to this because my boyfrind tells me's a good man and she is now just a friend ...
A. 27 November 2012: If she's a family member, then maybe she could be forgiven. She was using her ex's sympathy and since she is not going to pay him back, she is not a friend anymore. Your boyfriend is acting like a guarantor. When she fails to pay he has to pay. Next ... (read in full...)
What did my G/f mean when she said this?
Q. My girlfriend told me this: "I sometimes love you and sometimes not, when you're with me I don't but when I'm with you I really want you to be with me" I have no idea what to do, we broke up a week or two ago but we both want to be back, but she ...
A. 27 November 2012: There may be some language differences here. I don't know whether "when you're with me" and "when I'm with you" mean the same thing. "When you're with me" means when you can have your own way, you decide what to do on a date; "When I'm with you" ... (read in full...)
How long should it take before relationship becomes exclusive?
Q. We've been dating for the past 8 months. How long should it take before relationship becomes exclusive?...
A. 27 November 2012: If you are the one wanting exclusivity, you don't let a guy dictate when he feels like being exclusive. For me, I take time finding the right guy, and when it feels right, we are exclusive within 3 dates. You decide whether the guy is wasting your ... (read in full...)
One day my partner can be the sweetest person ever and the next he can be so mean that it can bring me to tears.
Q. Hi everyone, I have a partner i love to pieces and he loves me. But sometimes it can be strange. One day he can be the sweetest person ever and the next he can be so mean that it can bring me to tears. He always helps me out if i need it no mat...
A. 27 November 2012: He is mean to you when he feels suffocated. He is sweet to you when he feels the fear of losing you. A guy who really loves you would not go hot and cold on you. He doesn't want to commit to you but he wants you to commit to him. Tell him what he's ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me!
Q. I am concerned my boyfriend is cheating on me. I have had suspicions before as in our first year of University I heard him talking, drunkenly, to one of his other flat mates about how he would love to sleep with this other girl he lived with and ...
A. 27 November 2012: You can say that he is already cheating. He is no longer making you happy. You don't have to wait for a solid evidence of penis in vagina for you to end it with him. When a guy can go off you just like that and not communicate what's up, he's not ... (read in full...)
I feel like he sees me as a mom not a lover!
Q. I'm engaged to the man of my dreams but recently our sex life hasn't been good. I've tried everything I can think of to spice things up and he really seems to enjoy it when we do have sex but it's not making him want to more often. I recently lost ...
A. 27 November 2012: Oh, he got laid off. That answers everything.... (read in full...)
He said he wasn't ready, is this normal?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month, and we are in college. I am 20 and he is 22. At first we mostly went out to bars together with his friends, and then i stayed over his place, but then we started hanging out at his appt with his ...
A. 25 November 2012: Its completely normal. Not every guy would jump for any chance to have sex. Guys are afraid to get hurt emotionally. There is also performance anxiety. He wants to make sure you like him enough to accept 'imperfections' in the bedroom. When you just ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I like this girl or am just bored?
Q. Hi, About 2 years ago, I got out of a relationship and have been single ever since. It has been my only relationship so far, and now that I think about it, I feel I had committed too soon without getting to know my ex really well. My ex always que...
A. 25 November 2012: Liking and loving a person is not enough to keep the relationship intact. You have to like the aspects of what a relationship will bring in order to stay in it. You either have to find a girl who is very independent in and out of the relationship, ... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable over his ex...
Q. Hi and thank you I've been with someone for 7 months we are exclusive. He's good to me, treats me well except when it comes to his ex which he claims there "just friends". I have been trying hard to believe it BUT my intuition is telling me other...
A. 25 November 2012: They play sports together, which makes me feel uncomfy as I sit and watch them play.
What? He and his ex play sports while you watch? Why would you even go?
You should not ask what they are talking about. He may not have a thing for her but he m... (read in full...)
I feel like he sees me as a mom not a lover!
Q. I'm engaged to the man of my dreams but recently our sex life hasn't been good. I've tried everything I can think of to spice things up and he really seems to enjoy it when we do have sex but it's not making him want to more often. I recently lost ...
A. 25 November 2012: I understand that men have their dry periods and can't get it up on command sometimes, but if he can't be attentive to you he's not caring about what you need. Even a paralegic can touch you, kiss you, and go out for walks. Is there a wedding date ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I can't talk and its causing problems in our relationship
Q. Greetings to all of you, I am finding it difficult to adapt to my boyfriend's way of being. He's a very susceptible person and feels offended very easily. Moreover, I'm the type of person who likes to speak to clear out our differences but ...
A. 25 November 2012: I don't like talking myself. Your boyfriend looks at these talks as threats to his well being, he braces himself and thinks that you are about to point out his short comings. He's thinking: what's the problem, get to the point here? He doesn't ... (read in full...)
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