I'm flying 1/2 way across the world to see me girlfriend who is probably going to break up with me?
Q. For the past few months, I've been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. The long distance is supposed to last another 5 months. I'm planning to visit her next week for a few days on my way to a conference, and then again ...
A. 27 December 2018: I agree, pack up her stuff (the clothes and smaller items) and then drop them off at a friends house (if they live near you) - I would waste the postage to mail it to her. You already wasted enough on this.
As for the present you bought her, ret... (read in full...)
Parents moving- what should I do with my pet?
Q. Need some help please on a family related issue please.. My parents have been alcoholics since I was little and I had a hard upbringing. The only thing that really helped me growing up at home was having my pet dog alongside me (he's mine since...
A. 29 November 2018: Maybe consider contacting a "old dog sanctuary" like https://www.oldies.org.uk/ and see if they can help you out.
If not, then you have to consider 2 options, taking him in YOURSELF and give him the best (of the rest of his life) that you CAN prov... (read in full...)
I work with a younger doctor and am very confused about his behavior around me
Q. Am a hospital nurse, a worker, not a boss or manager, am quieter, do my thing, am not full of ego, work quietly and am polite. Am gay. Yeaterday at work this cocky, arrogant young Dr (maybe 27-28) makes a comment to a male nurse (steve) my ag...
A. 29 November 2018: I think he is trying to joke with you, trying to get you r loosen up around him perhaps.
What would I do? Well, that all depends. Personally, I would just humor back at him. Like with the ruler, I would have told him it's WAY to small to measure ... (read in full...)
Trying to force me to have an abortion but still seeming to care.
Q. I have been in an on - off relationship for 2.5 years, mostly on, and very passionate. The man in question is an MD of a large company, but had just finished with his wife of 20 years when we started our relationship. He told me that they had been ...
A. 29 November 2018: OP, why were there no contraceptives involved?
If he was SO adamant about not having children he could have used a condom EVERY time. And you, could have used birth-control as well.
This is irresponsible behavior for people your age. Especi... (read in full...)
I was sent nasty emails, how do I cope ?
Q. MOD NOTE: There are no "experts" just nice people that volunteer their thoughts and help. I have a question I would rather discuss privately. I have received two very nasty emails from people I once knew. I have sought solicitors advice and I'm ...
A. 29 November 2018: Not an expert at all, but I can give you my two cents.
You know the saying or rhyme:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me."
Words can be hurtful. THAT is why the people who sent you those e-mails wrote them. ... (read in full...)
My pregnant best friend and I had a misunderstanding and now she won't talk to me
Q. My best friend who recently got pregnant stopped talking to me over a small mis understanding. I was having a really shitty day at both personal and professional life and to vent i posted something somewhere..she assumed it was was her and went ...
A. 29 November 2018: If this is an important (to you) friend, I would do the following.
Send her a letter, the hand written kind, and explain yourself, then leave it up to her to decide if she wants to contact you or not.
Keep drama of your Facebook/social ... (read in full...)
Heartbreak - What are your best ways of getting over it?
Q. Hi there, Thank you for choosing my post and taking the time to respond. I ended it with a guy I had been with for two years, after he was abusive and disloyal. Simple question - how do I get over it quickly? I hate heartache so much and he...
A. 28 November 2018: I'm with Code Warrior.
You know he was a bad apple, you know you deserve better that is why you dumped him.
You can't hurry the process of moving on. Would be nice if we could.
My guess is some of that anger is towards yourself. YOU af... (read in full...)
"Hello my friend" Who would you send that text to?
Q. Who would be the type of person you would send a text to starting with the words 'Hello my friend'. Would you send it to an old friend, a general acquaintance, a customer or another person....
A. 28 November 2018: Ah thanks for the follow up :)
CONTEXT is everything!
He was probably just being polite in this case. ... (read in full...)
What's the optimum compromising point in a relationship? How do I balance boundaries and insecurities?
Q. I'm doing a lot of soul searching, so I'll probably be on here a lot asking questions that to every one else sound like common sense. Please bare with me, I'm a lost person. How to i know the difference between being irrational or having m...
A. 28 November 2018: I think boundaries are ALWAYS a hard thing, because there are so many variables. We each have a set, but many don't use them.
The two examples you brought up, 1. the ex that liked to go to the bar alone. I would have asked him why. And if his answ... (read in full...)
I tried to make new friends but apparently it isn't working. Where did I go wrong?
Q. Im at an age where I've lost a lot of friends for various reasons over the years and trying to make more interesting new friends so I msged an aquantance with a common interest and all seemed well and positive. She said she would talk to her ...
A. 28 November 2018: I don't think you are doing it wrong per say, but you are presuming that THEY also want to make new friends.
You also started off by messaging a woman. So is it REALLY a friend you are looking for? She might think you had a different ulterior... (read in full...)
He knows I like him but went on a date with someone else. Is that a sure sign he doesn't care for me like I do for him?
Q. Hi, So there's this guy that I work with who I have a crush on. He knows i like him actually but i dont know how he feels. Anyway we talk a lot at work and have started talking outside of work too. Well he told me today how he went on a date this...
A. 28 November 2018: I think it could be two things:
A: he wanted to see if you would be jealous.
B: He likes you as a person but you are not someone he would want to date.
Either way, it should tell you that he isn't someone you ought to pursue, because eithe... (read in full...)
I'm flying 1/2 way across the world to see me girlfriend who is probably going to break up with me?
Q. For the past few months, I've been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. The long distance is supposed to last another 5 months. I'm planning to visit her next week for a few days on my way to a conference, and then again ...
A. 27 November 2018: I agree with Auntie BimBim,
Since you are going there for work/conference and you "think" she wants to break up LET HER make the busride of 4 hours to come see you to dump you... It's only fair.
My guess is she won't she will just end it over... (read in full...)
She is comfortable being naked around me? So is she sexually attracted to me?
Q. She isn't an exhibitionist and I am not a creepy pervert or anything like that. I just happened to bump into her while she was naked a couple of times but she was cool about it. I thought she would avoid me or move out but she didn't. She acts as if ...
A. 27 November 2018: Yep, I'm with Code Warrior.
She sees you as non-sexual. that is why she is so comfortable around you naked. She has known you since you were kids and before you started sharing living quarters nothing happened either. She isn't interested in you T... (read in full...)
"Hello my friend" Who would you send that text to?
Q. Who would be the type of person you would send a text to starting with the words 'Hello my friend'. Would you send it to an old friend, a general acquaintance, a customer or another person....
A. 26 November 2018: Sounds like something a Nigerian scammer would open up with.
Sorry, but that was my first thought.
It doesn't sound like it's a friend or a person who's first language is English. Which is why... I say scammer introduction. ... (read in full...)
Why would my friend of 20 years spill information about me to my subordinate co-worker that he only met after just 10 minutes?
Q. Me and my best friend have known each other for 20 years. We are neighbours, we have grown up together. Throughout our lives, we have taken different paths but we always meet again, and things have been fine. I had been working at my job for 3 ...
A. 26 November 2018: Seems like your "friend" isn't much of a friend after all.
Would i confront him? Yes, and I'd probably drop him as a friend afterwards.
The saying "with friends like that... who needs enemies?" comes to mind.
With that said, I think your ... (read in full...)
I married the man I was having an affair with and I am struggling with trust issues, and feeling anxious and worried everyday he will cheat on me.
Q. My husband left his former wife to marry me. I know that it does not usually end up this way and that we are in the minority but we fell in love. We have been together almost 5 years. He dissolved his marriage after 3 years of our being together and ...
A. 26 November 2018: Well, this is kind of the "norm" for marriages that started out as an affair.
With 40-50% of "normal" marriages ending in divorce, the divorce rate for marriages that began as an affair as a bit above 80%. And I would venture a guess that TRU... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating isn't feeling well I don't want to overwhelm him
Q. I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks. It’s been going very well other than the past month he’s not felt good. He never gets sick, and when he does it’s for a few days. He has been to the doctor 3 times and it has not seemed to help. He’s obviously ...
A. 26 November 2018: If he is home sick, maybe order and pay for some take out to be delivered?
Or stop by with some nice chicken soup and crossword puzzles, don't stay long but ensure he has some soup and knows you care?
Or you can just send him a text telling him... (read in full...)
I had to work in a different work area and everyone was so rude. Why?
Q. Yesterday I had to work in another area at work (just yesterday) due to their understaffing. Not 1 person but the in charge introduced themself, or said hello. why so rude? If I had a different person in my area for one day I’d always introduce...
A. 26 November 2018: Maybe they are used to getting "floaters" who don't know what to do or they see people come and go and therefore just don't care any more.
Maybe they are just so understaffed that manners and common courtesy has gone out the window.
It is a... (read in full...)
Are other people’s contractors like this?
Q. Hi I am in my early 40s and recently been having some work done on my house. Had a very helpful guy doing the job and while the work has been done we were messaging each other in the evenings just generally. He mentioned that he 'would always be...
A. 25 November 2018: Nope, I certainly do not TEXT with the people that come fix stuff at the house. I don't flirt or send emojis and whatnot.
My issue would be whether he is married and... if this is really his "normal" behavior with women customers.
I would find ... (read in full...)
I think he’s an alcoholic and I don’t know what to do!
Q. I think my boyfriend is an alcoholic and I don't know what to do. I think he would be called a high functioning alcoholic, he has a good job, a nice house and a car. Drink really doesn't interfere with work. But he drinks nearly every day...
A. 25 November 2018: Accept that this is NOT something you can FIX or CHANGE for him.
THAT is the first.
Secondly, it's not about whether you have toe "right" to be upset. You obviously ARE upset that he drinks so much. For NOW he is a high functioning alco... (read in full...)
Should I ask her to wear leather to bed to spice things up?
Q. Hi, this is quite a awkward question but I wondered if anyone else has had something similar. I want to spice up me and my girlfriends sex life. I have a bit of a fetish for girls in leather boots and gloves. My girlfriend is by far not someone ...
A. 25 November 2018: Ask her if she would want to "play dress up" in the bed room. IF she does, ask her if you can suggest something that really turns you on.
That way you can segue into mentioning the leather boots/gloves.
THEN you ask HER what SHE would like t... (read in full...)
We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me
Q. After 20 yrs of marriage my husband asks for threesome, after two yrs we finally tell my friend that she is our threesome girl, my husband was madly in love with me, then I hear that she is coming over to visit during the day to smoke, then I notice ...
A. 24 November 2018: You made a bad judgement call in having a 3-some. My guess is that your sex life (pre 3-some) was bit stale and you wanted to spice it up.
You say your husband was madly in love with you... but I have to question that a tad. Why? Because you also... (read in full...)
Who is the cheater?
Q. If you have a baby with a man and he ditches you and then some years later you meet him again and he goes back to wanting to sex you again and you can't stop wanting to see him and then you find out he already has a girlfriend who he is still ...
A. 24 November 2018: Both are cheaters.
Doesn't matter that the woman had a kid with him at some point. She KNOWS he has a GF and thus should KNOW better than to get involved with him. If she wants to be some guy's side-dish that doesn't absolve her from having a... (read in full...)
My husband expects me to give him money to send home to his family every month
Q. Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. He is a charming man, shows affections and can be very expressive. I do love him , I just don’t like some traits he has. He doesn’t like to be questioned, and he gets ange...
A. 24 November 2018: Since my guess is that you wouldn't leave him and divorce him... You need to sit him down and make a budget. SHOW him exactly HOW much you feel you can afford to send to his family. IF ANY. But THAT might not do a single thing to change his mind and ... (read in full...)
I want to end the relationship but I'm scared I'm pregnant
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship for 6 years we have a 3 yr old son lately all I think about is ending the relationship I’m not happy at all he does nothing for our child I do everything in the house I go to work and I look after our son the problem is I’m ...
A. 24 November 2018: Firstly, does the pregnancy really matter in this?
Normally, I'm ALL for kids being born in a FAMILY with actual parents, who WANTS to be parents and who puts in the work, emotions, effort etc.
But your guy doesn't DO that. So what the outcome... (read in full...)
What is going on with my psychotherapist? Is he interested in me?
Q. In the recent past, my therapist had said something to me that made me feel uncomfortable as well as uncertain about how he feels towards me. He has stated that I've always been his favorite client after I had told him that I liked him as a ...
A. 23 November 2018: Time to change therapist.
Whether he is interest or not, is a moot point. Because if he acted on it it would be a violation of ethics and pretty improper behavior.
He is mimicking (copying you) for a reason, which is (thus far) unknown.
Fid... (read in full...)
Did she not change her status because she hasn’t given up on us?
Q. Hi, Thank you in advance for reading and hopefully giving me some advice. I will do a quick background on me, I'm Dave I'm 33, I have a son he lives with his mum but I have regular contact with. Right where to start, I have been in a new relatio...
A. 23 November 2018: I agree that she really doesn't want to deal with your ex-s drama. I wouldn't either. I think she had the good sense to decide NOPE, not going to deal with this.
While I GET that it seems unfair and that is has nothing to do with you directly... (read in full...)
New job but ridiculous ongoing hoops. What should I do?
Q. So I just started a new job a week ago. I was told my background check wasn’t completely back yet, but to go ahead and start on my scheduled date. Today, I’m called into HR and told that there was a date discrepancy with an employer from 4 years ag...
A. 23 November 2018: Depending on the job, I think many of the "hoops" you talk about are just common sense for an employer.
My 18 year old had to do several of the same "hoops". Like drug testing, criminal background, they even contacted her high school, physical... (read in full...)
How do I get my gf to have sex with me again? If she doesn't, then how do I cope with not having sex?
Q. Hello everybody I have been with my girl for a year. we love each other. but since from early on our sex life has been pretty minimal. only when she drinks she initiates sex. but now she doesn’t drink we have talked about it and she says she...
A. 22 November 2018: I think you need to find out WHY she needs to be drunk to be intimate with you.
If she is "trying" to deal with it, it might be past trauma- rape, abuse or even an abortion that is making sex hard for her to engage in without being drunk.
... (read in full...)
She's 18, I'm 25. Am I a creep for talking to her?
Q. I've been doing some online speed dating to fire up my social life. Recently I met a girl (and fellow foodie). It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursday. The problem is, she is 18... She just finished highschool and is ...
A. 22 November 2018: It's really not about how young you LOOK, but how well you two are suited.
You say you don't want to be a creep, my guess is because you FEEL a little like a creep?
You wrote:"It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursd... (read in full...)
My insecure girlfriend hacked into my social media to spy on me and I don't feel good about our relationship now
Q. My girlfriend recently opened up that she has trust issues and that she hacked into my instagram just to spy on me. She felt so because I have more female friends compared to men, but the thing is this has been the case with me since childhood. She ...
A. 22 November 2018: Sorry, anon female I absolutely disagree.
It might be because I'm from a different generation but I can't see it's EVER OK to HACK your partners account to see if they are talking with someone. she didn't just "look" at his Instagram account.... (read in full...)
Why did she block me when she said I could contact her?
Q. a female from school who I knew, bumped into me in the street. I don’t know if this was on purpose or if she was trying to get my attention. anyway we had a coffee and spoke for an hour and just had a catch up. all seemed good, she told me she was ...
A. 22 November 2018: I'd just back away from this one.
There is a reason she suggest Facebook and didn't just give you her number or ask for yours.
What that reason is... I don't know.
OR there was a glitch and she blocked the wrong person.
If she blocke... (read in full...)
Is he interested in sex? Companionship? What?
Q. I’m utterly confused and would love your help. A man I’ve known for years has been texting me with cryptic messages. We live in different states. He asked me to visit him. I laughed it off. But he asked again and nowI know he’s serious. He teases ...
A. 22 November 2018: Sounds like he is hoping for a roll in the hay.
IS this guy married, dating someone or single?
If he ISN'T single... I'd ignore his little "hints" or just simply shut him down. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't go visit him.
If he is single, the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend doesn't like me and is trying hard to get him away from me
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for around six months. I have a 16 month old son so things have gotten pretty serious between the pair of us. The relationship is great and he’s going to propose at Christmas. However his best friend never li...
A. 21 November 2018: His best friend is looking out for HIS best friend (your BF) It's what a FRIEND does. If (at your age) MY best friend wanted to propose after SUCH a short relationship, I'd probably also have tried to talk my friend out of it, kid or no kid ... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking that my boyfriend's ex wife was the love of his life even though he says otherwise?
Q. Hi, probably seems silly but I have an amazing boyfriend who I know loves me and vice versa but many years ago when he was only 20 he met and married someone. He tells me he was young and silly, didn't love her age regrets the years he wasted ...
A. 21 November 2018: Oh and a little add one..
You write:
"Yet I imagine their life to have been amazing as he went to America to visit her and stayed there two years. Then married her in Canada by a beautiful spot."
Stop living on la-la land, OP
I bet it was N... (read in full...)
I'm confused! Is she interested or playing hard to get?
Q. Hey Guys, So I met a girl a few weeks ago. We had a great night really flirty and she actually would have come home with me if one of her guy her friends hadn't literally dragged her away. We sent a few messages in the following week a...
A. 20 November 2018: I would just send her a short and sweet message asking her if she is still up for the Wednesday date.
If she doesn't reply or cancels, I'd leave her be.
I think texting is a BAD way to try and get to know a person. It's not all that genuine. So... (read in full...)
I'm extremely insecure about my inverted nipple!
Q. Hello. My question is personal and I'm embarrassed to ask it. I have nice boobs, except one nipple is inverted. I've tried nipple correctors and even had an inpatient surgery a few years ago but nothing's corrected it. I've always been very self ...
A. 20 November 2018: You know, I have NEVER met a guy who was critical about boobs. Seriously.
Those men who ARE critical about them have UNREALISTIC expectations. No one is perfect, even the "topless chicks" he has seen.
I would suggest you tell him that you REA... (read in full...)
My insecure girlfriend hacked into my social media to spy on me and I don't feel good about our relationship now
Q. My girlfriend recently opened up that she has trust issues and that she hacked into my instagram just to spy on me. She felt so because I have more female friends compared to men, but the thing is this has been the case with me since childhood. She ...
A. 20 November 2018: I'm absolutely with N91,
I'd end it. It's just too much. YOU should NOT feel guilty for having friends, be they male or female because SHE is insecure.
And HER insecurities you CAN NOT fix.
She has NO right to hack your social media. If sh... (read in full...)
I really like her and I'm wondering when and how to tell her... But I don't know if she likes me too
Q. There's this girl I work with and I really like her. We've hung out a few times with other friends, but I don't know if she likes me the same way cause she'll tell me that we're just friends but her body language says different. We play around w...
A. 20 November 2018: You need to LISTEN with your ears, not your dick (pardon the frankness).
She has TOLD you that she sees you as a FRIEND only, which might be why she feels comfortable enough to goof around with you, because she thinks YOU see her as a friend O... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking that my boyfriend's ex wife was the love of his life even though he says otherwise?
Q. Hi, probably seems silly but I have an amazing boyfriend who I know loves me and vice versa but many years ago when he was only 20 he met and married someone. He tells me he was young and silly, didn't love her age regrets the years he wasted ...
A. 20 November 2018: You know the PAST is in the past right? UNLESS you keep dragging it up!
OK, he MIGHT have loved her. He might even have thought she was the love of his life... and then LIFE and MARRIAGE to her happened and shit hit the fan. He realized she WASN... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to why she unfriended me. Did I do something wrong?
Q. Met a girl in class and I liked her (as a friend). Someone I thought I could get a long with as I enjoyed talking to her. She came across as strong, loud and opinionated but not over the top, I liked this. She has a bf and I have a gf so I figured ...
A. 20 November 2018: Could be many reasons. The fact that you were "just" a guy she talked to and now doesn't as she has moved away from the area, so she didn't see the point in keeping you as a "friend".
Some people keep their "FACEBOOK friends" to a bare minimum ... (read in full...)
Did my date make up this fake story just to get a reaction out of me?
Q. ive got a date lined up for this weekend. The guy i have been speaking to seems nice and not fake. Weve seen each others social media and have spoken on the phone. Today he texted me with a very strange message. He said last night he got a call off ...
A. 20 November 2018: Nope, I don't think he was lying but maybe... he is talking to more women than JUST you? So he was trying to figure out WHO that man could be "linked" to.
I think if he wanted to cancel he would have come up with a "better" excuse.
... (read in full...)
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