Why on earth would my partner keep a bottle of 'Dick Lick' from a previous liaison. Eugghhh!
Q. I have struggled with trust with my new partner for some time. We managed to put to bed the things that were troubling me (and they were NOT small I can tell you). All has been good but I have now discovered two more things that are making me ...
A. 10 February 2012: Sounds like you have a twinge of retrograde jealousy? You do know she had a life before you, yes? That include a sex life.
I'm guessing she didn't tell you because she forgot about it. The condom, I still say it's a good thing. That means she was ... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 9 February 2012: I agree with Cerberus & fletcher. Men and women like for their partner to "take" care of themselves.
It doesn't mean women (and/or men) need to be absolutely hairless, just take the time to groom themselves.
Personally, I almost throw up in m... (read in full...)
Why on earth would my partner keep a bottle of 'Dick Lick' from a previous liaison. Eugghhh!
Q. I have struggled with trust with my new partner for some time. We managed to put to bed the things that were troubling me (and they were NOT small I can tell you). All has been good but I have now discovered two more things that are making me ...
A. 9 February 2012: I'm sure she also kept the same facial lotion, nail polish... that stuff in the bottle only comes in contact with someones private AFTER it's squeezed out.
One thing though, I do think stuff like that needs to be tossed after the guy/girl you were... (read in full...)
Maybe I do lack empathy but has my girlfriend's moaning gone beyond the norm?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together 3 years, living together for one. We have good times, we have a healthy relationship in most aspects, but by god there is a problem. She moans and whinges and goes hysterical on a fairly regular basis. ...
A. 9 February 2012: I would suggest you find a really good couples counselor who specialize in communication if you intend on staying with this girl.
I listen to my hubby moan about work, he listen to me, we get it out and move on. Sometimes it's more of a bouncing... (read in full...)
My mum is being so immature and inconsiderate towards my dad now they have separated, how do I get her to stop?
Q. My mum and dad separated over a year ago. Now my mum's trying to get revenge on him by putting flirty lovey dovey statuses on her fb. It's making me and my brother irritated. I want to tell her to grow up and leave my dad alone. I'm sick and ...
A. 9 February 2012: Tell your mom to keep her drama to yourself and walk away. ... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 9 February 2012:
Whatever floats your boat, honey.
I wax legs, and shave armpits, but I'd be darned if I look like a pre-teen below the waist, a trimmed "airstrip" works for me and I have had no complaints from my husband.
He once shaved all his off and It l... (read in full...)
Should an ex still be attending family functions?
Q. Is it proper for My Husbands Ex to attend his neices Quinceanera (Sweet 15)? They have a 12 year Son together and he will be in the party? (kinda like a groomsmen) They were only married 1 year and we have been together 13 years (married 9). We have ...
A. 9 February 2012: Since you are not doing the inviting/hosting (I assume, since it is the nieces) - I would say it's up the the mother & father of the Quinceanera girl in question.
Focus on your own life/marriage and let her be.
I'm also guessing that it... (read in full...)
Is it Normal for an ex-wife to consatantly be around after being married only a year??
Q. Why does my Husband's ex-wife come around so much? They were ony married for 1 year. I have been with my Husband for 13 years (married for 9) They have a 12 year old Son. She has since re-married and has two kids. My stepson comes over and then goes ...
A. 9 February 2012: That depends, if deleting her would cause drama I would keep her up but block her feeds/comments.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with the boy who broke my best friend's heart
Q. I just got out of a long relationship about a month ago. It had been failing for more than 4 months. Three months before it ended, I started becoming close friends with this boy and I only realized (after I became single) that I really like him....
A. 8 February 2012: I would stay far far away from him. My friendships are more important then a guy. And... if he broke her heart, who's to say he really isn't a total douche and will do the same to you?
... (read in full...)
He's eager to get me pregnant, but not walk me down the aisle?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We're both divorced. I'm in my early 30's and he's in his early 40's. At the top of our relationship, I thought we were both on the same page of finding someone again to commit to and get ...
A. 8 February 2012: I wouldn't have a child , just because he wants one now. If you don't feel ready, then don't have one.
Have you told him how it makes you feel and what your wishes are for the future? I think something as important (to you) needs to be agreed u... (read in full...)
Is it Normal for an ex-wife to consatantly be around after being married only a year??
Q. Why does my Husband's ex-wife come around so much? They were ony married for 1 year. I have been with my Husband for 13 years (married for 9) They have a 12 year old Son. She has since re-married and has two kids. My stepson comes over and then goes ...
A. 8 February 2012: I would be annoyed too, child or not.
First advice though is if you have family members who post "family-drama" stuff, block or delete them ( or hide their comments) same goes for the ex, don't check out her page unless you want to be in "her" li... (read in full...)
I'm a sponsor my niece but don't really want to be. How do I tell my sister?
Q. Hey, I'm seeking advice on something. When my sister had her baby she asked me to be one of my niece's sponsors, which is a God Mother but since we are Lutheran we call them sponsors. I really didn't want to be her sponsor but how do you tell your ...
A. 8 February 2012: If you don't feel ready for the job, you should be honest and open with your sister.
However, you know the saying: "it takes a village to raise a child?" It is true to an extend. The more positive role models a child, young adult have the better. ... (read in full...)
I'm in a horrible, controlling relationship, and I want to get out, but I cant!
Q. Okay. So this is going to be quite long but here goes. .... Iv been with my boyfriend 3 years. We live together. I love him, and iv got strong beliefs about relationships, I'm not the kind of person to just walk out on them. I'm by no means perfect. ...
A. 8 February 2012: You say:
*We have got some good memories and I focus on them.*
So you are saying you live in the past and think you just have to SUCK it up forever?
Why can't you leave? Do you really see yourself with this guy the next 1-5-10 years? He is ... (read in full...)
My mum is being so immature and inconsiderate towards my dad now they have separated, how do I get her to stop?
Q. My mum and dad separated over a year ago. Now my mum's trying to get revenge on him by putting flirty lovey dovey statuses on her fb. It's making me and my brother irritated. I want to tell her to grow up and leave my dad alone. I'm sick and ...
A. 8 February 2012: It's between your mom and dad, let them figure it out, THEY are the adults!
If you don't like your mothers FB status, block her, delete her.
... (read in full...)
I'm bisexual, and if my mom gets to know she's going to kick me out!
Q. My problem is that i'm bisexual, i haven't told her about me and my mom thinks that it's wrong. And yes, i know tht its wrong.. but i've dated 3 girls and more guys thn 7. Should i tell her? she might kick me out or tell my whole family and my aunt ...
A. 8 February 2012: Why would anyone report your sexual preference to the newspapers?
Secondary, if you don't feel you are ready to share it don't.... (read in full...)
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1=not important and 10=most important, how important should sexual attraction be in a relationship?
Q. OK Aunts, here is something that has been troubling me. How important should sexual attraction be in a relationship? The reason I ask is because sometimes I think sex and sexual attraction is a distraction and sort of leads us down the wrong ...
A. 8 February 2012: I personally think it needs to start out a 7+ at least. It doesn't mean the other person have to be a super model, but they have the have that "je nais se quoi" about them. Something that just makes you want to touch them and be near them.
Howev... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to marry him and move to Hawaii but my parents/college are stopping me from doing so
Q. Hey all, My boyfriend is in the Marines, we've been together for 2 years and we are very much in love. I've known him for 6 years prior to this, as he was my best friend in high school. He is stationed in Hawaii currently and I am in my junior ...
A. 8 February 2012: Finish college. If he loves you he will wait.
Also, being a military wife of 15 years, I can tell you there is a lot of moving around and not always close to family and friends and certainly not in places you might even like.
You got to be... (read in full...)
I lied about my age and now I'm afraid I might get caught in my lie
Q. Ok so I kinda have a problem. So I have been talking to this guy i met on the Internet for a while now and we want to meet up. He lives I a different state then I do but we are having our parents talk about maybe having me go to him, or him come to ...
A. 8 February 2012: Come on you know what to do. Tell him. Stop stalling.... (read in full...)
I want to do things with my best friend's older brother don't want her to find out!
Q. okay so , I am falling for my bestfriends brother and he is 2 years older than me. the thing is that he sent a picture to me and we really like each other , my beatfriend (his sister) found out about pictures we've sent before and she didn't talk to ...
A. 8 February 2012: He doesn't want you. YOU are falling for him, he ISN'T falling for you. If he was he wouldn't want to hide it from his sister.
Don't risk a good friendship for a bad hook up, it will come out in the end and you will be the one looking like a t... (read in full...)
A guy online sends me raunchy messages. Should I stop talking to him?
Q. Ok so i met this guy in a Chatroom and he seems really nice but he's 21 and I'm 16 he texts me kind of raunchy stuff like where he wants to have sex with me but I told him I'm a virgin and he lives in NY and Im in Ohio he says he wants to hook up ...
A. 8 February 2012: How do you know he is a good guy? He obviously is a creepy fella who likes to talk dirty to little girls, yea that sounds like a "real good" guy *sarcasm*
Stop talking to him, you have NO IDEA who he really is, he could be some 45 year old livi... (read in full...)
Should I take him to court for paternity issues and child support?
Q. Well hellooo... its been awhile and I'm back! I'm now 38 weeks pregnant and my childs father still has nothing to do with us. I'm not entirely over it because its hard to understand how he loves and acknowledges his first born but not mine? How ...
A. 8 February 2012: Why be confused?
It's his baby, he should man up and at least be financially responsible.
When the baby is born, go to CS and do the DNA and file for child support. Now if YOU decide you don't want anything to do with him, you still need to do... (read in full...)
If it turns out I am pregnant, should I tell him? I know for certain I will have an abortion and I'm afraid he might want to keep it.
Q. So about a 3 weeks ago, I had a friend of a friend who was visiting from overseas. We had sex, and although I've been on birth control for about four years, we did not use a condom. I was supposed to get my period this week, but did not. He is t...
A. 8 February 2012: I think you need to tell him, and yes he ought to pay half the costs.
No more sex without condoms! Even they can fail, but the change of condom + pill failing is very tiny!
I'm sorry you are having to go through this.
One thing I want to s... (read in full...)
Is he shy and only rings me when he has a few drinks for courage?
Q. Hi I need your help I met this guy back in September 2011 and I really do like him and we only got together in November 2011 but my problem with him is that I only ever hear from him when he is out with his friends and having afew drinks this is ...
A. 8 February 2012: I agree with Cerberus.
If he was really interested in you he would call you and ask you out and actually "date" you, not just call you when drunk.
Stop answering his calls and move on.... (read in full...)
Surprise 50th birthday party and his wife didn't invite his Mother, how to deal with her!
Q. Hi Guys I have a situation which isn't about a relationship, it's more a family situation and I was just hoping you guys might be able to help me. My brother just turned 50 years old, and his wife put on a surprise birthday party for him, and she...
A. 8 February 2012: Wow, You SIL sounds like a can of crazy! Don't feel bad you weren't invited and your mom too, I'd actually rather not be around someone like you SIL. No matter how rowdy/wild a 5 year old is, no one should utter those kind of words, it's a child!... (read in full...)
Affair with husband's brother, and husband is okay with it.
Q. My brother-in-law (husband's brother) and I have started to engage in an affair. It started about a month ago. Initially after we first had sex, he was feeling so guilty that he said he never wanted it to happen again. I also felt guilty for what ...
A. 7 February 2012: Yea, good luck with that mess.... (read in full...)
Help ladies please! I'm petrified about my first smear test and need support please?
Q. I am 23 and I am having my first smear test Thursday, I am absolutely petrified, im shaking thinking about it, can anyone give me advice I hope im not the only one that feels like this?...
A. 7 February 2012: I still hate it, but it has to get done. Just know that gyno have seen it all before. And if you relax and just close your eyes ( or if you have a good gyno like mine) you look at the picture in the ceiling. It will be over in no time.... (read in full...)
I'm always making excuses for my husband because he's obnoxious!
Q. I have been married for over 11 years. It is my second marriage and his second marriage. He can be very ignorant and obnoxious to our friends, neighbors and family. He is this way with his family too, not just mine. He often thinks of himself before ...
A. 7 February 2012: As I see it, he was always like this, he will most likely never change. So, stop making excuses for him. If people tell you what an ass he he, tell them exactly how you feel, either yes my husband is obnoxious, but I'm not his mom and I don't ... (read in full...)
My husband of 29 years is suffocating me and I want a way out
Q. my husband of 29 yrs. is sufficating me. everything he does and says annoys me.he calls me 5 times a day.hes at work and he knows im at work.hes 9 yrs older than me and wants to veg out and i want to go.he dont want to spend time with anyone but me ...
A. 7 February 2012: You are still there so yes, he DOES still control you. If you are done, then BE done.
Make an exit plan. Find a place you can afford on your own, get a separate bank account, remove your name from bills that belong to the house you two reside i... (read in full...)
My daughter is planning on having IVF with her partner, but I know they are unhappy and she has been having an affair. What can I do in this situation?
Q. my daughter is soon to be forty and has decided to have ivf with her partner of 6 years. it appears that for the last 4 years she has been having an affair.her partner is manipulative and calculating and i think he knows what has been going on her ...
A. 7 February 2012: You can talk to her, that is about it Everything else is up to her. She is old enough to know what is "best" for her.... (read in full...)
My 27 year old schoolmate is dating a 79 year old billionaire. Isn't this a sign of complete materialism? Or am I an idealistic idiot?
Q. I saw a question posted here the other day that got me thinking about a schoolmate of mine who is a lovely looking lass of 27, an aspiring actress, dating a 79-year-old billionaire. ok im not a complete moron i know that money makes the world ...
A. 7 February 2012: Eh, it's their lives not yours. Try not to judge. What makes you happy may not make the girl next to you happy and so on.
Personally, I do see it being any of my beeswax, however, in my head I would think she is a "gold-digger" to the hilt. Si... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has no hygiene and no self esteem! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. One of the problems I have with our relationship is that over the past couple of years he has turned into an epic slob. He doesn't just leave a disaster wherever he goes-- He does not brush his ...
A. 6 February 2012: Sorry I would not want to live nor be in a relationship with a total slob like this, I on't think he needs a psychiatrist, he needs a kick in the pants.... (read in full...)
What is it called when you think of someone obsessively but aren't sexually attracted to them
Q. I'd like to just ask a basic question that nobody I've asked could answer till now. Please read the lines carefully. It is: What is it called when you're obsessively curious about a member of the opposite sex? Like, you want to get to know them...
A. 6 February 2012: It's called a CRUSH.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend kept all photos/numbers of his ex girlfriends but lied to me about it
Q. hi im in a new relationship but had problems already my boyfriend kept all hes exes letters photos and numnbers after telling me he had got rid of them .its only been over a month and i dont want to lose trust ....
A. 6 February 2012: I have a couple of photo albums from my life before I got married, there are at least 1 ex in there somewhere. THOSE are MY memories and has nothing to do with my husband.
I think he told you he got rid of them to get peace. He shouldn't have lie... (read in full...)
I've made it clear I'm not interested but he won't leave me alone.
Q. A youngThis guy at my church asked me to be his girlfriend.. And now he won't leave me alone:(? So this guy at church started messaging me.. I asked how he got my number he said he got it from my friend at church. He said he thinks I'm rea...
A. 6 February 2012: Tell him to stop texting you as you are not interested in him in "that" way. If he doesn't stop I would talk to your pastor maybe he can talk some sense it to the guy. The dude sounds like stalker materiel and that is bad news.
And tell your fri... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to send a ''thanks (not) for the memories," to my ex, or should I just leave it alone?
Q. I want to let my ex know that Im finally happy thanks to him. We were together for 4 years but messing around for 5 1/2. He cheated the whole time but I loved him so much I stayed. I finally came to my senses and left even after I left I still went...
A. 6 February 2012: It won't make you feel better. Block his number, delete anything you have with him (facebook, email whatever) and focus on your new man.
I agree with the anon who said, you don't sounds happy.
Don't stoop to HIS level. Take the highroad.... (read in full...)
I don't know if he's sick, a liar, cruel, or manipulative. Do I cut contact considering he will not take my advice?
Q. This is a bit intense. I had this friend that I used to talk to very often. We stopped talking for a brief while because he started dating girls, and I was getting serious with my current relationship. Needless to say, we haven't been really in ...
A. 6 February 2012: Addicts are hard to deal with, sometimes it takes tough "love" as in telling then to get help or not talk to them again.
Several studies have linked Schizophrenia to early teenage drug use, even thing as "harmless" as marijuana/hash. Also drugs su... (read in full...)
My male partner wants to dress as a woman. Can this result in a happy future for us, as a couple, considering his preference?
Q. I feel so confused at the moment and i really do not want to make a mistake, but i just dont have the answers myself nor do i know what the best thing is to do. I will try and make it as brief as possible as there could be lots i could say. Ba...
A. 6 February 2012: I have absolutely no experience with this, so all I can offer are my thoughts.
I think once he starts x-dressing there will no no stopping, it will becomes something he wants to do more then once a month. Feeling that you are born in the wrong bo... (read in full...)
Surprise 50th birthday party and his wife didn't invite his Mother, how to deal with her!
Q. Hi Guys I have a situation which isn't about a relationship, it's more a family situation and I was just hoping you guys might be able to help me. My brother just turned 50 years old, and his wife put on a surprise birthday party for him, and she...
A. 6 February 2012: Maybe invite your brother out for a dinner with just YOU and your mom? To celebrate his birthday?
I still say you SIL was in the wrong for lying to your mom.... (read in full...)
Surprise 50th birthday party and his wife didn't invite his Mother, how to deal with her!
Q. Hi Guys I have a situation which isn't about a relationship, it's more a family situation and I was just hoping you guys might be able to help me. My brother just turned 50 years old, and his wife put on a surprise birthday party for him, and she...
A. 5 February 2012: Honestly, I would talk to her face to face, that way 1. she can't avoid you and 2. it would be harder for her to lie.
I think that was really not a nice thing of her to do.... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend but now that I have come clean and am telling the truth he doesn't trust me
Q. I lied to my boyfriend about my online- activities prior to us moving in together. When he found out, I denied it, then I changed my story and told him what I was doing (emblishing the facts as I thought it was what he wanted to hear), I then took ...
A. 5 February 2012: You need to talk to him and ask him how you can regain his trust. ... (read in full...)
Why did boyfriend's face go numb during sex?
Q. Let's start with I am overweight! However I've been with my boyfriend now for over a month and we have sex everyday at least once, mostly two or three times sometimes more and it's great. However last night we had our first argument and he wa...
A. 5 February 2012: I will agree with everyone else, he need to see a doctor, it's sounds like a mini stroke.
Don't scare him, but try and persuade him to go asap.... (read in full...)
A married millionaire spending time and money on a young beautiful model: Is it possible this relationship is NOT cheating?
Q. Hello, I am writing on behalf of a friend with who came to me with her concerns the other day. I tried to respond best as I could, but I wanted to tap into the wisdom pool here to see what I could tell her further or better. Basically, my fri...
A. 5 February 2012: It is possible. It's also possible that he does it because it makes him feel 20 again, which his wife might not be able to do for him.
Not saying it's OK, but just stating the facts.
Maybe she needs to talk to her husband?... (read in full...)
If a married man and a woman have an affair, can the woman be blamed as well?
Q. If a woman and a married man have an affair, is it the woman's fault as well? Obviously, it is the man's fault, but is the woman to blame as well as a home-wrecker? I have heard the defense of the woman saying "It was his choice to go after m...
A. 5 February 2012: The saying : it takes two to tango, is true. If the woman KNOWS he his married, then she is in my book just as guilty.
And she needs to take a second look at her moral compass cause it's screwed up.... (read in full...)
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