Zero skills at dating women. How bold is too bold? Can I just ask out a women I do not know?
Q. Is it ok to walk up to a total stranger that you find either attractive or interesting and ask them out? I am 23 and sadly I have practically zero skill when It comes to dating women any helpful advice would go a long way thanks a lot :) ...
A. 16 February 2012: I think I would kind of freak out if some random stranger asked me out, in the middle of the street. It might be flattering, but not for me.
If you see someone you think might be a good match, talk to her. If she doesn't seem weirded out, then you... (read in full...)
I'm new to online dating, how can I let this guy down nicely? Or should I offer to meet up anyway just to see if I was wrong about him?
Q. I've just recently started to try online dating. A few people have requested contact but I wasn't really interested so I politely declined their requests. One guy who contacted me seemed like he might be interesting to get to know him so I said I ...
A. 16 February 2012: Go with you gut. You are not a mail-order bride, who is bought and paid for.
If you can't see it go further, then tell him now. Be honest.
... (read in full...)
Why is it that men stare at me all the time but almost never smile or speak?
Q. How am I to understand how a man feels when he looks at you if he won't even give you a little smile? Yesterday I was grocery shopping and passed a really good looking man in my aisle. When I saw him, he was already looking at me. He was alone. W...
A. 16 February 2012: Maybe he was married?
Married people like to window shop too. I think the stare had less to do with you then him having an inner monologue.
Or maybe he thought he recognized you from some place but wasn't sure enough to approach you?
... (read in full...)
What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 16 February 2012: To Cerberus,
Maybe I did over simplify it. But I sincerely doubt the women OP is talking about would "date" a man without money and the men that she dates, would date an average looking smart girl. I do think the stereotype of wealthy man + pretty... (read in full...)
Partner's 38 year old son lives with him and isnt happy about us dating
Q. I have been divorced for 6 years and my partner widowed for 15 months. We have been friends for about 30 years and are very much in love. He has taken me to meet his siblings and I have done the same.They are all so happy for us. My sons think he is ...
A. 15 February 2012: I lost my Mom last year, and my biggest hope is that my Dad finds himself a new love. They were together for 50 years, but I don't want him to be alone.
I know he will always love my mom.
I think you should talk to your date and see what's u... (read in full...)
Engaged guy texting obscene messages to me. Should I tell his fiance?
Q. Here's my situation. Long story short, there's this guy I met and talked to maybe 3 times. He seemed really friendly, and nice so I added him on facebook. He got a job somewhere else, got engaged. (I'm also engaged)and he hasn't really spoken t...
A. 15 February 2012: So you did the right thing OP. You told him that it wasn't appropriate and you cut the contact. Good!
As far as telling her, I still say, I wouldn't so it unless I have copies of every text/IM/e-mail. And even then I am not sure I would. It's not... (read in full...)
Am I being a snob by feeling slightly offended for having to share a guy with someone like her?
Q. This guy and I are in the "talking" stage and he is also talking to another girl. This doesn't bother me as we both agreed in the beginning that we just want something casual and fun, since I will be leaving to go to graduate school out of the ...
A. 15 February 2012: No, I don't thing you have the right to be offended by who he talks too, sleeps with or date.
If you chose to be "fwb" you really have no say in whom they may or may not talk to. I actually think the guy is really lame though.. talking trash ab... (read in full...)
I feel that my association with this girl is just screaming 'pedophile' even though it's legal
Q. Hey, In a weird situation right now regarding a girl's age. So the backstory is, I was out at a club with my friends, ended up talking and dancing with a few girls. As standard, try the whole 'are you coming back to mine thing' haha to whic...
A. 15 February 2012: I think as a mother of girls I would be a little worried if my 16 year old girl was dating a 20 year old boy, for the simple reason that he would be (in many respects) on another level experience-wise, however, I think the maturity level might be ... (read in full...)
He has no money because of a failed business deal and child support, so I am paying for everything! Do I keep on like this because I'm his fiancee, or can I tell him I've had enough?
Q. My fiance and I have been living together for two years and we planned to get married this year. He was involved in a business deal before we met which last year started to go bad and for the past 6 months he has been using most of his salary (...
A. 15 February 2012: If you are struggling financially because he made a bad deal and owes child support, you need to sit him down and talk to him. It is not fair that you should have to pay for his mistake and his child.
Do a budget. See how much you pay for rent, fo... (read in full...)
What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 14 February 2012: I think they are using each other. I'm pretty sure the men who are in the position of money and power are very aware of the people they surround themselves with in and out of bed. They didn't get rich and powerful by being stupid.
Do I find it ... (read in full...)
The designated unattractive fat friend?
Q. I have a attractive female friend. She surrounds her self with less attractive female friends. My friend says that attractive girls with "fat ugly friends" have no personality!!!!! it is true, that she has little to no personality!! Is this a fluke ...
A. 14 February 2012: You don't sounds like a very good friend either, honey. Take a look at your own post.
And no, looks and personality has nothing to do with it.... (read in full...)
Should I tell this mean girl off or just keep my mouth shut?
Q. Hello :) This girl and I use to be friends since 7th grade and now we are in 9th. We are not friends anymore because we fight constantly and she causes so much drama. I've been waiting for her to be mad at me for I can tell her we will never be...
A. 14 February 2012: First off, why are you still talking to her? She sounds like a utter troll and you sound like the cowardly lion. Honey, you keep letting her boss you around, so why would she stop? You tell her things and then gets mad when she (in her mind) "help" ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to put my life on hold for a while is that right of him to ask?
Q. A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a former navy recruiter, and he told me of a new opportunity that would let me enlist in the military, but it is only valid for the next two months. I was very happy about it since i have been wanting to do ...
A. 14 February 2012: If he wants you to wait for a year so he can join too, don't expect the relationship to last. Honestly, the statistics of a dual-military relationship lasting is low. Since you two aren't married you can easily get posted different corners of the ... (read in full...)
Engaged guy texting obscene messages to me. Should I tell his fiance?
Q. Here's my situation. Long story short, there's this guy I met and talked to maybe 3 times. He seemed really friendly, and nice so I added him on facebook. He got a job somewhere else, got engaged. (I'm also engaged)and he hasn't really spoken t...
A. 14 February 2012: I'm guessing it wasn't just one "obscene" text? If so, why did YOU let it continue? Keep the conversation going? You don't thing that is overstepping boundaries even replying to those? For a person with a strong moral compass?
Just curious.... (read in full...)
Should I contact my ex, who hurt me or wait for him to contact me?
Q. I'm curious if any men out there ever wished they could get their ex back after leaving them for someone else and then a yr. or so later realized you had made a huge mistake or the one you hooked up with ended up dumping you? Were you too much of ...
A. 13 February 2012: If you think you can forgive him and move past what he did to you and your relationship, call him. I don't think he will contact you.
Personally, I wouldn't waste my time on a man who can trhow away 8 years for a short fling, but this is about yo... (read in full...)
His balding is becoming such an obsession lately...how do I get him to embrace it?
Q. I have been dating my guy for hitting 2 years now. I am 29, he is 35. His hair is thinning, just as it was when I first met him. It has become such an obsession with him over the last six months, and its driving me nuts. He has stopped going out ...
A. 13 February 2012: This is something he has to figure out on his own, all you can do is love him for who he is and not how much hair he has or doesn't have.
Sorry, this insecurity is ALL his.
If he doesn't want to go out I would suggest you go out with friends... (read in full...)
My ex left me for his former ex. Now he wants me back. Can I trust him?
Q. I met this guy and it didn't take long for me to fall for him. He was honestly everything I'd been searching for in a guy. He was also in the army, but that didn't bother me because I was still planning on sticking with him. Anyway, he was so...
A. 13 February 2012: Personally, I would never go back to someone who dumped me for an ex. I would not be able to stop thinking that I was just someone to have around til he found better.
I would not be able to "forget" the past.
I know you care for him alot so ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my father controlling me when I'm 18 and an only child?
Q. Hi. So simply as im going to put it... I'm 18. An only child still live at home Have a controlling father who yeah, you could say...im scared of... So, my father thinks he has the right to control me, given I still live at home... He...
A. 13 February 2012: I would hate to fear my parents. But as I see it, your parents are within their rights, if you still live at home and they pay for all that.
Sorry, maybe it's time to move out and truly be an adult.... (read in full...)
Am I being scammed?
Q. I need some advice or guidance with this problem.. I will explain the situation and why I feel worried now I met a Turkish man on Facebook (he is 37 and I am 35)and we have been talking for about 1 year 2 months. The conversations is...
A. 13 February 2012: The girl seems very iffy. The guy, I can't tell whether some of it is language barrier or him just being a really odd man or a guy who has been "grooming" you so he can take advantage of your nationality. It is really hard to say. The fact that he ... (read in full...)
I never want to talk to my father again
Q. Hello, I need help very soon please xx. Ok before I get into this problem you need a back story. Ok my mom and dad split when I was two so I'm used to the two home lifestyle. I have a stepdad I had a stepmom. Her. The stepmom is the issue. I was a...
A. 13 February 2012: Honey, you can't tell your Dad how to live his life. If he is (pardon the expression) is dumb enough to get his wife/exwife pregnant even if they have a tumultuous relationship, that is not for you to deny or approve off.
If you don't feel you... (read in full...)
Why am I not enough for him? Why is he active again on those dating sites?
Q. Hello, I need some advice and I hope you can help me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. We've had our ups and downs, but for the most part (at least in my mind) it's been good. I've enjoyed spending time with him and he'...
A. 13 February 2012: Seems to me that he is with you till he finds "greener grass", not because he wants to be with you or/and love you.
Honey, I'd set him free and find yourself a guy who can see what's right in front of him. Instead of your current BF who is on th... (read in full...)
Why is he threatening to break up if I refuse to delete pictures from my FaceBook?
Q. My boyfriend of two months just started saying that it's bothering him that i have a few pictures of my ex on my facebook profile. The pictures are just of prom posses which shouldn't bother him. (it wouldn't bother me at least) and there are a few ...
A. 13 February 2012: He seems like a controlling insecure twit.... (read in full...)
Is my ex jealous that I have met someone else?
Q. Is my ex boyfriend jealous that i have met someone else?. The guy i am currently dating is a lot older than me, but me ex is a bit younger than me. My ex sent me a text message saying " The old dirty b*****d can have you. I wash my hands of you ", ...
A. 13 February 2012: Stop talking with your ex. Stop texting and everything else, NO COMMUNICATION is the way you get truly over him.
But like everyone else said, who cares what he thinks?
... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to be angry about this behaviour from the baby-father?
Q. Okay so I have a one month old baby. Me and the father were debating on getting back together and becoming a family when out of nowhere he texts me and says my son is about to have a little sister. The other woman only has 4 months to go until ...
A. 13 February 2012: I wouldn't want to date this guy either, he is ACTUALLY blaming YOU for him knocking another girl up?
What a loser, honey.
You and your son can do better.... (read in full...)
Why does he get an erection every time we kiss? He says it's not usual for him
Q. What does it mean when the guy I'm dating, who is 29 and I'm 19, gets and erection every time we kiss? And he says this has only happened to him once before in his past long term relationship....
A. 13 February 2012: You just DO it for him. Nothing bad about that.
I suggest you read up on some basic - sex ed.... (read in full...)
Why does my G/f defend her horrible, abusive ex every time I say something negative about him?
Q. This is my problem. I have been with this woman for over two years now. I love her very much. When we first met everything was going well. Shes been in a abusive relationship for nine years with her ex. She told me how he cheated on her multiple ...
A. 13 February 2012: She isn't defending him per say, but herself and the fact that SHE actually dated him, so when you criticize her ex, she takes it as you criticizing her as well, because after all, SHE dated him. SHE had a child with him. SHE is bound to him in that ... (read in full...)
I don't want to like her but I don't want to hate her either!
Q. There's this girl. My boyfriend used to really like her, before he met me. I started their school in September, and I met my boyfriend. We got together, and everything was fine. Then she started sending me these texts: ""WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...
A. 13 February 2012: Ignore her, when you waste emotions on a person who only wants attention and drama, you let THEM win.
Pretend she doesn't exist.
If she however starts to spread rumors about you ( I honestly don't understand what the text: ""WTFFFFFFFFFFFF... (read in full...)
'Free Spirit?' Or did he mislead me? Should I wipe him from my life?
Q. M led me on for approximately 9 months. It started off as a normal friendship, however it quickly became intense with the knowledge of his life partner passing away a couple of years ago. For reasons unbeknown to me, he chose to get close to me ...
A. 13 February 2012: I agree fully with Abella, look at his actions. Are those the actions of a man who is serious? Decent?
It doesn't "speak" free spirit to me, it "speaks" more of a " I will do as I please to overcome my loss, at anyone expense."
If you are ... (read in full...)
Should I contact my ex? I still miss him and can't get closure
Q. Should I call or send a text to my ex bf. I miss Him so much. He ended it almost 3 months ago and I still don't know y. He said I was being to needy bt I was js showing concern for him and his family. I cry all the time cz I really love him. I want ...
A. 10 February 2012: Sorry, you don't always get closure when a relationship is over, no matter how much you try an rehash the past.
Let it go, let him go. He obviously didn't want to be with you, so why do you think talking to him will "fix" anything?
He migh... (read in full...)
When I asked my FWB partner not to have sex with her disgusting ex because I don't want to end up contracting a disease, she thought I was accusing her. Did I do the right thing?
Q. So I had a fwb thing with going on with someone and she said how much she hated her ex and what not and her ex did act like a complete dick. He even at one point seemed to be bragging to her how he's having sex with so many women and doing meth (I ...
A. 10 February 2012: No, you can tell her who she can and can't have sex with. That is how FWB works.
If you worry about what kind of nasty guys she sleeps with, then don't have sex with her.... (read in full...)
'Free Spirit?' Or did he mislead me? Should I wipe him from my life?
Q. M led me on for approximately 9 months. It started off as a normal friendship, however it quickly became intense with the knowledge of his life partner passing away a couple of years ago. For reasons unbeknown to me, he chose to get close to me ...
A. 10 February 2012: It could be once you returned feelings he backed of because he in fact don't want to start a new relationship and is still mourning his former partner, however, he has got a really odd form of grief handling, by "befriending women" to me it seems ... (read in full...)
Why on earth would my partner keep a bottle of 'Dick Lick' from a previous liaison. Eugghhh!
Q. I have struggled with trust with my new partner for some time. We managed to put to bed the things that were troubling me (and they were NOT small I can tell you). All has been good but I have now discovered two more things that are making me ...
A. 10 February 2012: Sounds like you have a twinge of retrograde jealousy? You do know she had a life before you, yes? That include a sex life.
I'm guessing she didn't tell you because she forgot about it. The condom, I still say it's a good thing. That means she was ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I don't want to get involved because of my depression and not being over my ex?
Q. My boyfriend recently split up with me, and I've also been to the doctors (at last!) and found out I have depression, so need tablets and counselling. Someone I know, who I've not spoken to very much before, has told me he likes me. When he first ...
A. 9 February 2012: I think you need to be absolutely honest with him and the sooner the better, if you don't then yes, I think you are leading him on.
... (read in full...)
Is making love different from other sex?
Q. Tonight I met my lover, who is a married woman. We have been together 2.5 years. I am not married and she has told me in the past that she does not plan to leave her husband. She seemed very eager to see me. She gave me a very thorough and nau...
A. 9 February 2012: Yep, Cerberus nailed it on the head.
Just because it was tender and passionate doesn't mean it equates love or if it is fast and furious that is is "just" sex.
I think she was in the mood for approval (which you gave her) and tender love (whi... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 9 February 2012: I agree with Cerberus & fletcher. Men and women like for their partner to "take" care of themselves.
It doesn't mean women (and/or men) need to be absolutely hairless, just take the time to groom themselves.
Personally, I almost throw up in m... (read in full...)
I'm a guy and I hate sex with my fiance
Q. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I hate having sex with her, and the thought of it now sadly, turns me off anymore. Whenever I try to get her in the mood, I am always shot down. And I mean always. So I stop wanting it, and then my fiance c...
A. 9 February 2012: I agree with Uncle Kyle 007! Stop with the porn.
Talk to her about what SHE likes as far as sex. Look into stuff such as maybe tantric sex.
Don't marry her til it is resolved.
Usually when a couple are having trouble in the bed room ... (read in full...)
I told him I'm a virgin, but I've done things with guys...it turned him off
Q. So.. I've been dating this guy for a week. Im a virgin. He's not. He asked about my past, I had done some things and it totally turned him off. But, I was completely honest with him because I didn't want to lie to him. What do I do?...
A. 9 February 2012: You dump him! Don't let anyone judge you, when you are being honest and open.
Personally, I think he is a PRIME candidate for the TOOL awards..
You can do better, honey!... (read in full...)
Why does he retain his 'memory box'? And I don't like the fact that he moved. Is there a solution?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of one yr, are perfect, but as usual there are some down falls; first, he has a ' memory box' and he's very protective of it I should say, he told me about it, and asked me not to look thru it, and of course by him asking me not ...
A. 9 February 2012: I think you really overstepped your boundaries by looking in his memory box, that was a huge breach of confidence and show a lack of respect for your BF.
A memory box is nothing more then keepsakes from your past. Not everyone has one and of those... (read in full...)
Does nipple sensitivity decrease with age?
Q. I have a question regarding nipple sensitivity. I am 27 and I have noticed that for over a year now, my nipples have become less sensitive( I have natural breasts, I don't take any medications or pills and there is medically nothing wrong with me). ...
A. 9 February 2012: I have nursed 3 children and I'm in my 40. They are a little slower in responding but I would say they are just as sensitive as before.
I'm wondering if you may have other erogenous zones that affects you more then your nipples.
And yes the e... (read in full...)
I'm going to meet my girlfriend's parents but I cant tell them that I met my G/f online! What do I say?
Q. Hi, basically I have been with my gf for 2 years, and I'm ready to meet her parents. However the main thing is to explain how we met. It's complicated, becuz we met online and that's not cool for her parents, so I need an idea on how we met. She ...
A. 9 February 2012: Lying is no way to get to know them, bad bad idea.
... (read in full...)
Why on earth would my partner keep a bottle of 'Dick Lick' from a previous liaison. Eugghhh!
Q. I have struggled with trust with my new partner for some time. We managed to put to bed the things that were troubling me (and they were NOT small I can tell you). All has been good but I have now discovered two more things that are making me ...
A. 9 February 2012: I'm sure she also kept the same facial lotion, nail polish... that stuff in the bottle only comes in contact with someones private AFTER it's squeezed out.
One thing though, I do think stuff like that needs to be tossed after the guy/girl you were... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 9 February 2012:
Whatever floats your boat, honey.
I wax legs, and shave armpits, but I'd be darned if I look like a pre-teen below the waist, a trimmed "airstrip" works for me and I have had no complaints from my husband.
He once shaved all his off and It l... (read in full...)
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